WiseTL
patreon
Hu Tao Is Monetizing My Existence. [309]
🕑 Added 2025-10-21 12:21:30 +0000 UTC“Allow me to guess what’s inside.” Ningguang’s gaze drifted lightly as she stepped away from her desk, approaching them.
Eyeing the burlap sack on the floor, she allowed herself a small smile. “This must be the Fatui Harbinger—Childe—am I correct?”
“How did you know?” Paimon gasped in shock.
Lately, Paimon felt she was either shocked or on the way to being shocked.
“My informants reported that the Fatui Harbinger, Signora, departed Liyue by ship, while Childe was missing. Northland Bank was recently extorted for three hundred million Mora to ransom him. Since you mentioned delivering me a generous gift, I made an educated guess,” Ningguang explained calmly, laying out the information she’d gathered piece by piece.
“That’s incredible…” Paimon shivered a little at the frightening extent of Ningguang’s intelligence network.
Jiang Bai untied the sack, revealing Childe’s face clearly to everyone in the room.
“So, Lady Ningguang, how do you like this grand gift?”
Ningguang took a moment to appreciate Childe’s miserable state before nodding approvingly. “Very impressive indeed.”
“What reward would you prefer? Authority, status, or Mora?”
If you wished to use someone, you held either their secrets or exploited their weaknesses. But to win someone over, you had to offer what they truly desired.
Ningguang deeply understood this.
The people standing before her were anything but ordinary—whether it was the Traveler, who had played a significant role in resolving the Stormterror incident in Mondstadt, or Jiang Bai, whose personal strength allowed him to defeat and capture the Fatui Harbinger Childe himself—they were all individuals Ningguang wanted on her side.
Without hesitation, Jiang Bai answered, “Definitely Mora!”
Authority, status—these things didn’t interest Jiang Bai at all. If he cared about power, he wouldn’t have become an ordinary employee at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in the first place.
But Mora? That was absolutely non-negotiable!
“The Fatui gave us three hundred million. How much can Lady Ningguang offer?”
Jiang Bai wasn’t exactly a merchant, and he genuinely wasn’t sure how to price this deal.
He only knew Childe must be extremely valuable to Ningguang, though exactly how valuable, he couldn’t estimate accurately.
But one thing was clear:
Ever since learning he’d personally defeated Childe and even fought against Signora, Ningguang had changed the way she looked at him. She’d even generously attributed the destruction of the Golden House entirely to the Fatui.
Of course, pinning it on the Fatui was justified—but it also indicated Ningguang’s favorable stance towards him.
Therefore, he didn’t name a price, leaving it to Ningguang herself.
If Ningguang truly wanted to win him over, she wouldn’t risk displeasing him. In other words, she would be very generous.
“You’ve truly stumped me.” Ningguang smiled openly, not hiding Childe’s potential value to her at the negotiating table.
“With Childe in our hands, our negotiations with Snezhnaya gain a strong bargaining chip. Economic reparations, compensation for civilian losses, reduced trade taxes, and even arms shipments—all of these can now rise significantly beyond our original expectations.”
Economic compensation was one thing, but what Ningguang really coveted was Snezhnaya’s military equipment.
As Teyvat’s strongest military power, the Fatui’s specialized elemental gear had always tempted her. Unfortunately, none of it was for sale to outsiders. Even stealing a few pieces from Fatui soldiers wouldn’t help much.
This Fatui attack on Liyue finally opened an opportunity for her to legitimately obtain some of their equipment.
With the additional benefit of reduced tariffs on trade with Snezhnaya, Liyue merchants would flock to Snezhnaya, bringing advanced products and technologies back to Liyue in turn. It was undoubtedly a tremendous advantage for Liyue Harbor.
Thus, when asked to name an immediate price, she genuinely couldn’t give one easily.
“I’m also a part of Liyue. Capturing him to bleed Snezhnaya dry pleases me too. Besides, Lady Ningguang, we’re already acquaintances. We’ll surely have more dealings in the future, so just show a bit of sincerity.” Jiang Bai was exceptionally generous.
Anyway, they’d already gotten three hundred million Mora—no matter what Ningguang offered, it would still be pure profit!
“In that case, how about this—I’ll offer you one billion Mora. Furthermore, if you encounter any difficulties in the future, come directly to me.” As Ningguang spoke these words, she was openly offering him a personal favor.
A billion Mora!
Paimon’s eyes glittered like stars!
Not just Paimon—even Aether and Jiang Bai’s breathing quickened slightly at the astronomical number.
“No problem!” Jiang Bai agreed immediately.
Ningguang truly lived up to her reputation—such generosity, such grand vision!
Ningguang laughed gently. “It’s merely a trivial sum. Actually, I’d rather recruit you as my personal bodyguard, but I doubt you’d agree.”
Sure enough, Jiang Bai rejected instantly without even thinking. “I’m far too used to living freely to handle a bodyguard’s duties. Besides, Director Hu would never let me go.”
Even if Hu Tao were willing, Jiang Bai himself couldn’t bear to leave!
Life at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was too entertaining, and he still had the Director. Being by Ningguang’s side would mean dealing with endless schemes and social entanglements every day—exhausting just to think about.
Though she’d anticipated this outcome, a faint trace of disappointment flashed through Ningguang’s eyes.
She hadn’t bothered asking Aether, knowing travelers never stayed long in one place. Maintaining a friendly relationship was sufficient.
“Baishi, bring them one billion Mora,” Ningguang instructed the attendant behind her.
“Yes, Lady Ningguang.”
Seeing her casual command for such an enormous sum, Jiang Bai’s perception of Ningguang’s wealth reached new heights.
Northland Bank had struggled for three whole days just to scrape together three hundred million Mora—but Ningguang could produce a billion Mora with a single word!
There was only one word for her:
Loaded!
Of course, Jiang Bai couldn’t pass up this chance when facing such a wealthy patron, so he immediately pulled out some promotional flyers.
“Lady Ningguang, would you care to hear about Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s newest services?” Jiang Bai shamelessly stuffed a flyer into her hand and immediately pitched his latest money-making scheme.
“I’ve expanded our current business model to include express courier and mail services. Within Liyue and Mondstadt, letters are guaranteed to reach their destination in one day. In the future, this will expand to cover all of Teyvat—even mail to Inazuma will arrive within a single day!”
Even though he’d just struck it rich, there was still an elderly lord back home who could spend Mora faster than water flowing downstream. A single antique wine cup could easily cost tens of millions—who knew how long his newfound wealth would last? Earning more Mora was always a necessity.
Besides, he would likely marry into the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor family someday. He had to build himself a nice dowry.
His mental calculations clacked away loudly in his head—he’d even decided on wedding attire already.
...
“Achoo—!”
At that very moment, Hu Tao, currently deep in an ancient ruin battling a horde of corpses, sneezed loudly!
All around her, countless copper-skinned, iron-boned jiangshi had awakened. These undead had slumbered here for thousands of years, their bodies tempered by dense yin energy, impervious to ordinary weapons. Mindless, driven purely by instinct, they felt no pain or fear.
Worse still, their razor-sharp nails glistened pitch black. Even a small scratch inflicted by them would rapidly transform a living person into one of their own, especially in an environment filled with this thick, suffocating yin energy.
---
This is a fan translation of 胡桃拿我冲业绩 by 余溯. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
