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I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit [779]
🕑 Added 2025-10-28 13:49:09 +0000 UTC“You need not deliberately pursue this power. It was always yours, hidden within your body. The reason you have not yet mastered it is because you have never truly confronted your own self.”
Nitocris’s words whispered gently by Shana’s ear, carrying a mysterious charm. Shana’s heart became calm, tranquil as if she had returned to the days living in Tendōkyū, when she lay beneath the great tree, peacefully dozing as the soft breeze brushed past her ear.
Before Shana, flames suddenly ignited.
Gray flames, enveloping Nietono no Shana, enveloping the two pairs of hands grasping the katana.
At this very moment, Shana felt as if she could accomplish anything—felt as if nothing in the world could frighten her.
Such a mysterious sensation drew Shana deeper, and instinctively, she closed her eyes, allowing her consciousness to gently sink into the depths of her own soul.
When it came to understanding souls, no one in this world could compare to Nitocris, the God of the Underworld—not even the three Crimson Gods themselves.
Though Nitocris might be younger than them in age, her experience traveling among the stars, witnessing countless worlds, certainly surpassed theirs.
With Nitocris’s aid, Shana effortlessly entered the deepest recesses of her soul, as easily as drifting through a dream.
Then, she saw that flickering flame.
In that instant, Shana felt as if she had returned to the past.
Back then, in Tendōkyū, when her training aimed at becoming a Flame Haze, one of her daily lessons had been to master control over flames.
The training involved stepping into Alastor’s flames, sensing the presence of Alastor within them, feeling the concentration of power, the flow of intent, gradually nurturing an awareness of that power’s movements. She had focused her consciousness at the deepest heart of the flames, spinning and dancing within the vortex of strength, growing intimately familiar with Alastor’s fire.
Back then, this had been Shana’s favorite lesson.
She enjoyed chatting with Alastor, sharing her daily experiences before sleep, listening to his stories—but mere conversation was never enough.
Only within those flames could Shana clearly feel Alastor’s presence, as vividly as holding his hand, his warmth lingering within her palm—warmth that reassured her deeply.
Now, Shana felt as if she had returned to those days.
Only this time, instead of stepping into external flames, she had plunged her consciousness directly into her own soul.
This meant Shana herself was the flame. She no longer needed to step into external fire as before.
A crimson blaze, fierce and powerful, had always lain dormant within her body.
It raged fiercely, as though it could burn all things in existence to ashes—even a god would become mere dust before this flame.
Is this… the power hidden within me?
Staring in awe at the flames almost within reach, Shana felt entranced.
With this flame, surely, I can become even stronger…
Driven by that enchantment, Shana reached out her hand toward the crimson flames before her.
Suddenly, another flame—gray in color—burst forth abruptly, interposing itself between Shana and the crimson inferno, blocking her advance.
A voice resounded from within the gray flames, echoing like rolling thunder:
“Power should be a means to accomplish your goals, not the goal itself.”
“You must become the master of power—not its slave.”
As the voice echoed forth, the entranced look in Shana’s eyes shattered like glass, clarity swiftly returning.
Her outstretched hand halted immediately.
“What is it you desire?”
The voice within the gray flames asked again.
Shana answered instinctively, without hesitation:
“I desire power.”
Upon hearing this, the voice echoed once more:
“What kind of power?”
“Obviously, a Flame Haze’s power.”
“Whose power among Flame Hazes?”
Without evading the question, Shana fixed her gaze firmly upon the gray flames, speaking with absolute conviction:
“Mine. The power belonging to me as a Flame Haze!”
“If it is your own power, then why must you desire it? Why must you obsess over it?”
Hearing those words, Shana froze, stunned.
That’s right.
It was always my own power—why do I need to desire it?
“You should seek to control it—not allow it to control you.”
The voice mingled within the gray flames continued softly, reaching Shana’s ears clearly.
“Let it submit to your will—do not deliberately bend yourself to its demands.”
With a single sentence, Shana’s heart suddenly became clear.
Indeed, she thought, this is the deepest depth of my own soul. That crimson flame exists inside me—it was always my own power.
If that’s true, then it shouldn’t be me walking toward it…
“Instead… it is you who should come to me.”
The moment Shana’s words fell, the crimson flames gently burning before her abruptly expanded.
The flames surged past the obstruction of the gray fire, rushing toward Shana like fledglings returning to the nest—
BOOM!
A sudden blaze erupted from Shana’s body, still closely held in Nitocris’s embrace. Her waist-length black hair ignited, instantly transforming into brilliant flame-hair.
Shana opened her eyes.
Her irises had already turned into blazing, burning eyes.
Immediately, crimson flames burst forth from Shana’s body, swiftly enveloping her entirely.
Witnessing this, even Alastor felt a bit stunned—he hadn’t expected Nitocris would so effortlessly help Shana draw out his flames.
“Now the power has been drawn out,” Nitocris said calmly. “From here on, you only need to memorize today’s sensation and practice frequently. Aim to swiftly develop a fighting style that suits you best.”
Being able to summon flames was merely the first step toward success.
In the subsequent training, Shana still needed to perfectly integrate this power into her battles, increasing her proficiency through practical experience.
Though a long journey remained ahead… at least the most crucial—and most difficult—first step had been taken.
Nitocris released her hold, looking up to gauge the sky’s color.
“Oh... time passed by so quickly without my notice? It seems we should return home for dinner soon.”
Meanwhile, Shana was doing exactly as Nitocris instructed: mastering control of her own power, striving to freely command this immense flame.
“Remember today’s sensation… remember today’s sensation…”
…But what exactly was today’s sensation again?
Shana blinked, startled—and in that instant, the flames around her vanished.
Recall... remember carefully...
The sensation of mastering power… today’s feeling…
Yet despite racking her brain, Shana failed to recall clearly how the power flowed within her body—instead, she vividly recalled how she had nestled in Nitocris’s embrace just moments earlier.
Suddenly, her cheeks began to burn fiercely.
After several failed attempts to reignite the flames, Shana, blushing deeply, abruptly turned toward Nitocris.
“You! Come here for a moment!”
“???”
Nitocris wore an expression full of confusion, entirely unaware why Shana had suddenly become so agitated.
“Come over here! Hold me exactly like you did earlier.”
If Nitocris asked “why” right now, Shana would almost certainly become even more irritated… seeing the sharpness in Shana’s gaze, Nitocris quickly understood this.
Therefore, she tactfully didn’t question further. It was merely an embrace, after all—and Nitocris certainly wasn’t going to lose anything from it.
However, when Nitocris opened her arms, ready to hug Shana, Shana instead took two steps back, her eyes filled with dissatisfaction and… just a tiny bit of disgust?
“Change back.”
“Huh?”
“I mean, turn back into your original appearance!”
Even though Shana knew the person before her was Nitocris, with the face of Hirai Yukari, she just felt strangely uncomfortable.
Finally understanding Shana’s meaning, Nitocris re-applied her disguise—the appearance she’d shown Shana at their first meeting. Instantly, Shana felt far more satisfied.
“Alright. Hug me.”
Facing away yet glancing back expectantly, her face practically shouting, “I’m ready, hurry up!”—Shana was obviously impatient. Nitocris briefly struggled to process exactly how to react.
Without making Shana wait any longer, Nitocris stepped forward, gently wrapping both arms around Shana’s neck.
Yes… exactly this feeling.
Power continuously welled forth within her body, making her feel as if she could accomplish anything at all.
It was as if nothing in heaven or earth could bind her anymore.
BOOM!
Crimson flames exploded outward again, fully enveloping both of them in its blaze.
Gazing at the flames engulfing her once more, Shana’s face—glowing red from the firelight—instantly broke into a delighted smile.
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T/N: .>.>...
This is a fan translation of 我才不要当英灵 by 死神的挽歌. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
