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Uma Musume Pretty Derby: To The Basement [300]
🕑 Added 2025-10-31 13:30:35 +0000 UTCThe instant Rudolf released him, Mizuno toppled backward, gasping for air like a diver breaking the surface after nearly drowning.
It wasn’t that Rudolf had squeezed him hard enough to suffocate—but burying his face in a woman’s chest, breathing in her scent, was something no respectable trainer or gentleman should ever do.
So he’d been holding his breath the entire time, resisting the instinct to inhale.
Only once he was freed did he finally exhale in relief, lungs burning.
But before he could recover, Rudolf snaked her arm back around his neck, locking him in a firm headlock.
“Mizuno-san,” she said sweetly, her lips curving in a dangerous smile. “I’ll give you thirty seconds to think carefully. Tell me who you like, and I’ll let you go. But if thirty seconds pass and you don’t have an answer…” She leaned close, her breath tickling his ear. “I’ll assume you like me—and I’ll keep you by my side forever~~”
“Thirty seconds?! That’s way too short!” Mizuno protested, panic rising in his voice.
How was he supposed to invent a bulletproof answer under that kind of pressure?!
“Can’t it be thirty minutes—or maybe thirty days?” he pleaded hopefully.
“Of course it can~” Rudolf replied cheerfully, tracing a small heart on his chest with her fingertip. “As long as you let me Uma Pyoi you a hundred times a day, I’ll give you all the time you want—thirty days, thirty months, even thirty years~”
“Oh, and by the way—you’ve got twenty seconds left.”
“Gah!”
Mizuno whipped his head toward the “rescue party” of Uma Musume, silently begging for help.
Unfortunately, the same girls who had been ready to storm the Demon King moments ago—Rice Shower, Tokai Teio, King Halo, Mejiro McQueen, El Condor Pasa, Daiwa Scarlet, and Vodka—were now standing perfectly still, eyes gleaming with curiosity.
They all wanted to hear his answer just as badly as Rudolf did. Since he wasn’t technically in danger now, they might as well let him talk first—and fight it out later.
“Ugh…” Mizuno looked at their expectant faces and felt despair creeping in.
Guess there’s no running from this, huh…
Grinding his teeth, cheek pressed awkwardly against Rudolf’s arm and surrounded by a dozen piercing gazes, Mizuno took a deep breath and began:
“Actually… the person I like most is…”
“Who?” All the Uma Musume leaned forward, ears perked, tails swishing in unison.
Their beloved trainer was finally about to confess!
“The one I like most…”
“Mm!” Teio and the others nodded eagerly, trembling with anticipation. Even Rudolf tightened her grip without realizing it.
Every one of them silently prayed—Please, let it be me.
The entire tent went still.
“The one I like most…”
Mizuno straightened suddenly, flashing a peace sign beside his eye.
“I like everyone~! Ciallo~!”
“…”
The Uma Musume stared blankly for a second.
Then fury erupted like a volcano.
After all that suspense—that was his answer?!
“You like everyone”? Seriously?!
A man who toyed with women’s hearts like that deserved to be dragged behind the stables and kicked into the stratosphere!
Especially Rudolf. Her ears snapped backward, and her expression darkened like an approaching storm. She grabbed Mizuno by the collar and yanked him up until their faces nearly touched.
“Mizuno-san,” she said lowly, voice trembling with anger, “you should know very well—we’re not asking for a vague, half-hearted answer like ‘I like everyone.’ We mean the kind of like that makes you lovers.”
“Or…” Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Do you mean you want to be lovers with everyone here?”
“Guh…” Mizuno twitched, turning away under their blazing stares.
Even if he wanted to answer honestly, the truth was—he didn’t actually know what kind of girl he liked.
Sure, he liked Rice Shower—but that was pure brotherly affection. He cared for her deeply, yes, but the idea of crossing that line made his skin crawl. He couldn’t betray that trust.
So he couldn’t say her.
And Haru Urara? That was even worse!
To Mizuno, Urara wasn’t just a student—she was a radiant, innocent child, a literal angel. The thought of using her name here, even as a joke, felt like blasphemy.
So, no—Urara was out.
As for Teio, Halo, McQueen, and the rest? Not a chance.
Anyone who’d tried “dating” a horse girl before hadn’t lasted three years. Each one ended up shriveled and hollowed out, their souls Uma Pyoi’d into oblivion.
No way. No matter how cute or charming they were, that road only led to death by overtraining.
So if he was being honest, his ideal partner probably wasn’t an Uma Musume at all.
But who else could he name—someone human, someone believable enough to deflect suspicion?
Then, a short-haired girl with a sharp, capable smile flashed through his mind.
Yes. She was perfect.
It was the only way to survive the night.
I’m sorry, Mizuno apologized silently to the person he was about to sacrifice.
He lifted his head, met Rudolf’s gaze squarely, and declared:
“Maybe… the person I like is… Trainer Kiryuin Aoi.”
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T/N: X_X
This is a fan translation of 赛马娘，从入门到地下室 by EEEEE然后亮标 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
Comments
Matthew Coccaro
Although I doubt he's quite as screwed as Aoi. They at least want to keep Mizuno alive, I doubt they have any such compunctions about Aoi... Of course, that's not really saying much, now is it?
Pasata
Oof he so cooked 💀
Matthew Coccaro
Kiryuin: "Why do I suddenly hear boss music?"
