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I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit [787]
🕑 Added 2025-11-03 13:29:06 +0000 UTCThe maid, not skilled in conversation, immediately killed the atmosphere.
At the instant her words dropped, the air seemed to freeze—icy and heavy.
“Wilhelmina…”
Shana’s expression turned anxious, trying to say something, but Wilhelmina’s heavy gaze silenced her.
“The current you doesn’t resemble a Flame Haze at all. It seems that during my absence, you have forgotten much of what you learned before, de arimasu.”
After speaking, Wilhelmina glanced coldly at the pendant around Shana’s neck, her emotionless gaze conveying blame.
She could never have imagined that, despite the supervision of the God of Retribution himself, the Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Hunter of this generation had fallen this far.
The girl before her—with a bright, carefree smile devoid of tension, lacking any sharpness whatsoever, and bearing the meaningless name "Shana"—made Wilhelmina feel like pure water had been polluted. Inside, there was nothing but dissatisfaction—deep dissatisfaction.
The God of Retribution, Tennjōkekkai himself, supervising her yet allowing such a meaningless name to persist…
Unforgivable.
Both Wilhelmina and Tiamat shared this exact thought and resented Hirai Yukari and Nitocris, who were responsible for all this.
Pillar of the Present World... so what if it's true?
They might not be able to defeat the other party, but the other party had no right to meddle in how they educated the girl. Because they were the girl's true guardians and caretakers.
After casting another deep, cold glance toward Hirai Yukari and the golden pendant on her chest, Wilhelmina addressed Shana, expression impassive: “For the foreseeable future, I will stay by your side and personally retrain you, de arimasu. I will swiftly bring you back to your original state, de arimasu.”
This, too, was to avoid bringing shame upon the name of the Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Hunter.
As the close friend of the previous Hunter, Wilhelmina absolutely couldn’t stand idly by and watch the girl in front of her fall even further.
“Wilhelmina…”
Wilhelmina’s words were like a thin blade, silently slicing open the most fragile part of Shana’s heart. The Hunter who slew enemies mercilessly on the battlefield now showed an expression as brittle as glass.
At this moment, Shana was exactly like a child who brought their drawing to their parents, expecting praise but instead receiving harsh criticism: labeled as “playing around,” “not studying seriously”—thoroughly discouraged, deeply pitiful.
Seeing the situation unfold to this point, Nitocris was left speechless as Alastor remained silent.
Hey, hey, hey, where’s your dignity as the God of Retribution? Your contracted partner is showing such a heartbreaking expression, and you’re just playing dead?
Nitocris understood Alastor intended to fully entrust this matter to her—proof of his trust—but she still felt the God of Retribution was truly cowardly. Facing Wilhelmina’s aggressive attitude, he dared not utter even one word in rebuttal—lacking all divine bearing.
Look at the gods from mythology; each one was petty to the extreme. Never mind being insulted to their faces—mere whispers behind their backs would earn the offending mortal’s country a devastating plague. And amidst the disasters brought by gods, no one dared criticize them—people only hated whoever had slandered the gods in the first place.
Ultimately, Alastor was simply too kind-hearted.
Shana stood silently with her head lowered. Her figure looked like a reed battered by sudden rain, on the brink of collapse at any moment, evoking sorrow from anyone who saw her.
Even Nitocris found this hard to watch—let alone Hirai Yukari.
Yukari wanted desperately to help Shana, yet didn’t know what stance she should take in front of Wilhelmina. Helpless, she could only turn her gaze pleadingly toward the pendant on her chest.
“Kami-sama…”
“I understand. Leave it to me.”
Just these simple words reassured Yukari greatly, as if all the problems ahead would now solve themselves easily.
The girl completely relaxed her mind, relinquishing control of her body once again to Nitocris.
Wilhelmina observed Hirai Yukari’s sudden change, feeling startled.
Flame Hazes did have battle forms—for instance, Shana’s usual black hair and eyes would become flaming hair and burning eyes in combat.
But the transformation before her eyes clearly differed from that.
While Wilhelmina was momentarily dazed, Nitocris had already reached Shana’s side.
The blow from being rejected by someone she trusted was beyond imagination. Ordinary comforting methods probably wouldn’t have any effect right now…
After briefly considering her options, Nitocris, expressionless, raised a hand and placed it firmly atop Shana’s head.
Crack!
It felt like one could actually hear something breaking apart.
If this had been an anime, Wilhelmina’s entire body would have turned into stone at this moment, cracks spreading visibly across her petrified form.
Wilhelmina’s eyes widened intensely, her fiery gaze locked firmly onto Nitocris’s hand resting atop Shana’s head.
Would I, Nitocris, shrink back fearfully just because of a murderous gaze? Absolutely impossible!
Rather… the fact that you're watching helplessly only excites me even more!
Chuckling inwardly, Nitocris completely ignored Wilhelmina’s glowing, rage-filled eyes, deliberately ruffling Shana’s hair to her heart’s content.
“W-what… are you doing!?” Unable to bear it any longer, Shana broke free from her melancholy, slapping Nitocris’s hand away. Even under the cover of darkness, the blush on her pretty face was clearly visible.
“Oh, nothing.” Nitocris smiled casually. “I just couldn’t help myself—you looked so adorable, almost about to cry. Pure impulse, pure impulse.”
“Who—who said I was crying! I wasn’t crying at all!” Shana fiercely rubbed at her eyes, her voice shaking slightly with the overwhelming emotions surging inside.
“Yes, yes, yes, you didn’t cry. Shana’s adorable even without crying.”
“Ugh… stop teasing me!”
While Shana rubbed her eyes, Nitocris raised her hand once more, seemingly aiming to pat Shana’s head again.
Suddenly, a flash of pure white cut through the darkness, shooting straight toward Nitocris’s raised hand.
This was exactly what Nitocris had been waiting for!
Bang!
Accompanied by a thunderous explosion, the flying white ribbon shattered instantly into countless fragments with a slight wave of Nitocris’s arm.
“Step away from her, de arimasu.”
If earlier Wilhelmina’s tone and expression towards Hirai Yukari had been thin ice over a cold pond, now, toward Nitocris, her voice and gaze became ancient black ice from the deepest pit beneath the underworld—capable of freezing even the soul itself.
At this, Nitocris smiled with deep amusement.
“Oh? Do you intend to make a move against me?”
Seeing this unfold, Shana and Alastor immediately panicked.
“W-Wilhelmina!”
“What do you think you’re doing, Manipulator of Objects!? Attacking a Pillar of the Present World in the human realm—are you suicidal!?”
Such action could only be described as reckless.
Only afterward did Wilhelmina herself realize that if this person truly was the God of the Present World as Alastor claimed, then even if this wasn’t her true body, she could effortlessly end Wilhelmina’s life.
Her vision had been completely blinded by fury.
“You just said the current Shana doesn’t resemble a Flame Haze at all,” Nitocris said, gazing at Wilhelmina with interest. “But I see it completely differently. To me, the current Shana is exactly what a Flame Haze should truly look like.”
“Nonsense, de arimasu.”
“Utterly laughable.”
Though Wilhelmina’s expression barely changed, Nitocris and the others could clearly sense her scorn toward this statement.
“You two aren’t even Flame Hazes yourselves—what qualification do you have to decide how a Flame Haze should properly behave?”
“Utter nonsense.”
“Then, what should a Flame Haze be like, according to you?” Nitocris raised the hand that Wilhelmina had attacked moments before, speaking lightly. “Attacking a god of the human world without any prior information—is this the kind of action a Flame Haze would take?”
That had been impulsive, undoubtedly irrational.
But Wilhelmina could never admit it—especially not in front of Shana.
“Too many mysteries surround you, de arimasu.” Wilhelmina stubbornly argued back, “I've never heard of any ‘God of Humanity’ all these years. Your sudden appearance is suspicious, de arimasu. Besides, your stance is still unclear; probing was necessary.”
“Your idea of probing involves directly attacking me? Even if this risks provoking the hostility of a god, pushing me, who could have been your ally, into opposition?”
Nitocris spoke slowly, meaningfully watching Wilhelmina’s eyes.
“...”
“Do not test my patience further, irreverent one!”
Nitocris suddenly shouted, her face turning stern; the furious rebuke exploded upon Wilhelmina’s soul like a bolt of lightning, causing her to feel as if her soul had instantly shattered into countless fragments.
...
When Wilhelmina recovered her senses, she was startled to find herself in an utterly unfamiliar place.
Above, the sky was a serene expanse of stars.
Below, the land burned endlessly with gray flames.
And then, filling the entire earth—an army.
Skeletons, specters, mummies, sphinxes.
Some were the undead, others divine beasts.
Yet here, they were all equal—loyal guardians, valiant warriors.
As stars surround the moon, they obeyed their sole king, their only god.
“I have had enough of your endless lies.”
Nitocris hovered high in the sky, like the sun, like the radiant moon.
She needed no throne; this heaven and earth itself was her throne.
She needed only to sit above, with absolute transcendence, dispensing judgment and death.
“Irreverent one, your crimes are three.”
“First, disrespectful speech toward a god.”
“Second, attempting to deceive a god with lies.”
“Third, showing hostility rather than reverence to a god.”
“These three crimes combined constitute grave irreverence!”
Each time a crime was proclaimed, Wilhelmina felt a terrifying force pressing down directly upon her soul, until finally, at the end, it felt as if the entire world had abandoned her.
“...”
Wilhelmina wanted to say she hadn't lied, that every word had been spoken from her heart.
Yet, when those golden eyes turned their gaze toward her, all words stuck in her throat.
Those brilliantly glowing eyes seemed capable of peering directly through her heart, reaching depths even she herself could not touch.
“Before my golden eyes, all lies and illusions collapse upon themselves.”
Even Alastor, the God of Retribution, had never given her such overwhelming fear. Her entire being was instantly submerged in dread.
Only now did she truly comprehend what a god was.
A god was one who established rules.
A god was one who stood above all.
A god was one who could not be defied.
“Stop finding those high-sounding excuses for your own selfish desires. You’re simply jealous of me—jealous that I can freely be close to Shana without any burden, and fearful that I might steal away the person you hold dear.”
Nitocris mercilessly tore off Wilhelmina’s mask, exposing her innermost thoughts.
“You raised Shana, and gradually, while cultivating her, you no longer viewed her as merely a tool. She became important to you. Yet, to mold her into a perfect Flame Haze, you suppressed your own emotions, forcing yourself to maintain a certain distance.”
“You hate me precisely because I did everything you desperately wanted to do but couldn’t bring yourself to. Your attack against me was motivated purely by your selfishness, envy, and inferiority.”
The next sentence was the final judgment, utterly shattering Wilhelmina’s inner defenses.
“Even you yourself are constantly controlled by selfish desires and impulses, always resorting to avoidance when facing inner conflicts. Someone like you—what right do you have to demand Shana abandon all emotion to become a perfect Flame Haze?”
...
“What did you do to Wilhelmina?!”
Seeing Wilhelmina held casually by Nitocris like one would pick up a kitten, Shana’s eyes filled with worry and accusation.
Worry directed at Wilhelmina, accusation at Nitocris.
Just moments before, Shana hadn't clearly seen what Nitocris had done. Wilhelmina had suddenly looked as if her soul had been torn out—collapsing feebly to the ground with a lifeless expression—and then she’d simply been grabbed by Nitocris. The last person Nitocris had held this way had been Shana herself…
“Oh, nothing much. I simply pulled out this dishonest irreverent one’s soul and had a friendly chat,” Nitocris replied unconcernedly, as if describing something utterly trivial.
But Shana obviously didn't see it that way.
“Pulled her soul out…?! Isn’t that just killing her?!”
“Who said so? Souls can be put back in easily—just like the Ancient One knocking Bruce Banner’s soul out of the Hulk.”
“Don’t treat souls like batteries in toy cars! And who are the Ancient One and Hulk anyway?!”
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T/N: avnegers
This is a fan translation of 我才不要当英灵 by 死神的挽歌. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
