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I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit [788]
🕑 Added 2025-11-03 13:29:10 +0000 UTC“You went too far,” Alastor spoke.
“For someone who habitually uses lies to deceive herself, strong medicine is needed,” Nitocris replied casually. “If I didn’t do this, she'd never face her own heart.”
Exactly that—she absolutely wasn't displeased by Wilhelmina or acting out of petty revenge.
Nitocris glanced meaningfully at Wilhelmina, then turned toward Shana. “Shana, there's something I must ask you on behalf of Wilhelmina. Just give me your honest feelings.”
“Hmm? Then ask away.”
Wilhelmina, still visibly lost, finally responded to their words. She raised her head, casting a complicated gaze toward Shana and Nitocris.
She already knew what Nitocris was about to ask. The God had informed her in advance, back in that world filled with restless spirits.
“Shana, what exactly is Wilhelmina to you? Is she family you've lived with, or merely the one who raised you?” Nitocris’s golden eyes shone like stars, allowing no falsehoods before them. “I want to hear your true feelings.”
Hearing this, Shana glanced toward Wilhelmina, unexpectedly meeting her eyes.
It was precisely this momentary exchange of gazes that seemed to confirm Shana’s innermost thoughts. She then turned resolutely back toward Nitocris, looking straight into those sacred, golden pupils, and spoke decisively:
“Wilhelmina…is someone extremely important to me—my family.”
At these words, Wilhelmina's pupils trembled suddenly.
Nitocris smiled, quite satisfied with Shana’s answer. Then, she turned toward Wilhelmina.
“You see? Even Shana can already face her truest feelings. As her caretaker, are you still going to keep running away, deceiving yourself?”
“…”
Facing Shana’s frank honesty, Wilhelmina couldn’t squeeze out a single word. Silence pressed heavily upon her heart, like a massive stone.
In a daze, the figure of the girl before her seemed to have changed slightly.
A little taller. A bit more mature.
And only then did Wilhelmina suddenly realize—ah, she’s already grown into someone truly remarkable.
She had become far more impressive than herself, who was still confused and running away.
Suddenly, Nitocris took hold of Wilhelmina’s hand and placed it atop Shana’s head.
“How about you stop avoiding and suppressing your feelings, and be a bit more honest?”
Wilhelmina’s usual icy expression wavered violently, her cheeks clearly flushing, as if engaged in a fierce internal struggle.
The only unhappy one here was Shana—why did everyone enjoy patting her head so much? Was she just a child in their eyes? Though annoyed deep inside, because she trusted Nitocris and desperately wanted Wilhelmina’s understanding, Shana swallowed her irritation, deciding to settle this matter with Nitocris after everything was over.
If Wilhelmina really wants to pat me…then maybe just a little would be fine…just a little…
Yet how could Wilhelmina, having finally given up suppressing herself, possibly be satisfied with a mere head pat? She had barely begun when she impulsively wrapped her arms around Shana, pulling her into a tight embrace and burying her face in the girl's neck.
Now, it was Shana’s turn to panic. Wilhelmina’s breath tickled against her neck, hot like tiny sparks dancing across her skin, heat rushing up to her ears as though leaving an invisible brand behind.
“W-Wilhelmina…?”
Wilhelmina said nothing, gave no answer, only tightening her arms further, as if afraid Shana would flee from her embrace.
Observing this, Nitocris concluded—Girls cuddling together truly is a sight that lifts the spirits.
Since mere words couldn’t describe even one percent of this wonderful scene in a novel, she alone could appreciate it fully; readers would simply have to rely on their imagination. What a pity, truly unfortunate.
Feeling the softness in her arms, Wilhelmina suddenly wondered—if only back then she had been more honest, instead of avoiding her true feelings when facing Mathilde, when facing Merihim… Would the outcome have changed even slightly?
Wilhelmina Carmel had once been a princess of a certain kingdom. After becoming a Flame Haze, she and her best friend Mathilde became a duo feared by every Crimson Denizen in Europe.
Yet later, despite her identity as a Flame Haze, she fell in love with a Crimson Lord—Merihim, who had once been her enemy. But Merihim’s eyes had only ever reflected her best friend, Mathilde.
Confronted with these feelings, Wilhelmina chose avoidance, chose concealment.
After Mathilde died, honoring her friend's final wishes and deeply valuing their friendship, Wilhelmina gave up the dignity she once had as a princess, abandoned her identity as the unparalleled warrior, and performed menial tasks like cooking, cleaning, and laundry. She hid her feelings as she lived together with Merihim and Alastor at Tendōkyū, working diligently to raise the next inheritor of the name “Flame-Haired Burning-Eyed Hunter.”
Even on the day Shana officially became a Flame Haze, even on the day Merihim completely disappeared, Wilhelmina had never confessed her love. She hadn’t even properly watched his departure.
Wilhelmina had always tried desperately not to let emotions control her actions. Yet in reality, everything she did had been based entirely on emotion. From beginning to end, she'd been running away, never daring to face her own heart.
Some masks, once worn too long, become impossible to remove.
Some lies, repeated too often, end up feeling like truth.
Only today, when the lies she'd told herself were mercilessly exposed by Nitocris, did Wilhelmina finally realize—she had always been a selfish person.
Looking at the dark-haired girl before her, Wilhelmina suddenly thought…
“Perhaps the current you…is actually the successor Mathilde would most approve of…”
...
At last, the matter was settled beautifully. Wilhelmina and Shana finally became honest with each other. Wilhelmina accepted the present Shana, deciding to no longer forcefully impose her own vision of how she should grow. A truly joyous ending for everyone.
That night, Shana didn't stay at Hirai Yukari’s home. Instead, she stayed with Wilhelmina at that apartment—the one they'd bought a while ago, where only the kitchen was frequently used.
Returning home, Hirai Yukari's parents even asked her why Shana, who always stayed over, hadn't come today. Yukari explained that Shana's guardian had come back, and her parents left it at that.
Despite the many events of that evening, the next day was still a normal school day.
Unlike usual, however, it wasn't just Yukari and Shana walking to school together. This time, Wilhelmina accompanied the two girls.
“A guardian must fulfill their duties, such as escorting the children to and from school, de arimasu.”
“Guardian mission,” Tiamat added succinctly.
Wilhelmina not only didn't see Shana’s school life as decadence but actively supported it—entirely thanks to Nitocris’s efforts. Yukari noticed that Shana’s smiles seemed more frequent now, and watching Shana interact harmoniously with Wilhelmina, Yukari felt genuinely happy for her.
After reaching the classroom, Yukari sat down at her desk and began preparing her textbooks. At that moment, a female student approached her, handing over a notebook.
“Hirai-san, thank you for lending me your notebook last time!”
“Ah, it was nothing.” Hirai Yukari smiled gently, polite and modest. “I’m just glad it helped.”
“Yeah! It was a huge help!”
Hirai Yukari reached out without caution, and as she took the notebook, their fingertips brushed lightly.
It was supposed to be an insignificant little moment. Yet—this tiny event triggered a massive upheaval.
The change came without warning.
Zhhhst—!
An Unrestricted Spell suddenly flickered to life the instant Hirai Yukari’s hand touched her classmate’s, erupting into dazzling brilliance.
It was early morning in the classroom. Though indoors, the windows were open for ventilation, and a gentle breeze was normal. Yet, in just a matter of seconds, that gentle breeze transformed into a fierce gale wrapped in amber flames.
“Wah!”
“Wh-what’s with this wind?!”
“Where’d this crazy wind come from?!”
The classroom instantly plunged into chaos as students squeezed their eyes shut against the violent gusts, books and stationery flying everywhere.
Shana’s seat was right next to Hirai Yukari’s, so she was first to sense the danger. Immediately, she activated the Fuzetsu.
“[Fuzetsu]!”
Instantly, the clear sky above the school shifted into a deep, blood-like crimson.
...
“—!!”
Wilhelmina, who had parted from Shana only moments earlier, abruptly turned around. Seeing the school enveloped in that dark-red barrier and the increasingly violent amber tornado rising within, her pupils sharply contracted.
Outside the Fuzetsu, crimson flames burned like red lotuses—clearly Shana’s barrier. The issue, however, was that amber storm.
She recognized that wind, that flame’s color, that unmistakable presence.
“Pheles…”
At that moment, Shana had already brought Hirai Yukari outside the school building. The classroom was too cramped, too crowded with students, severely limiting their movements.
But as soon as they left the building, the fierce wind surged around them, as if it possessed consciousness, relentlessly chasing them.
“I knew it. We’re the targets!”
Instinctively raising her arm to shield her eyes from flying debris, Shana heard Alastor’s voice resonate from the pendant swaying chaotically around her neck.
“This Unrestricted Spell, and this color of flame…could it be…”
Within the roaring tornado, a figure silently appeared.
It was a slender, tall woman exuding mature charm, her emerald-green hair long and flowing. Her tight-fitting clothes were bound in cloth wrappings, a serpentine shoulder guard coiled around her arm.
From the moment she appeared, her gaze locked onto Shana and Hirai Yukari. Yet, both felt that the woman’s true target was clearly Hirai Yukari alone.
Certain she had no acquaintance with this powerful Crimson Lord, Hirai Yukari decisively turned to Nitocris for answers.
“Kami-sama, that very beautiful older sister seems to be looking for us. Is she someone you know?”
“Not exactly… But I do roughly understand why she’s come looking for me,” Nitocris replied, a faint hint of helplessness in her tone.
The Treasure Tool, Reiji Maigo—an artifact central to the plot of the entire series. Practically every storyline had revolved around the Reiji Maigo. Nitocris might have little memory of the original protagonist, but she definitely remembered Reiji Maigo.
Naturally, Nitocris also recalled the creators of Reiji Maigo—Johann, the Eternal Lover, and Pheles, the Colorful Flutter.
Months earlier, after she had resurrected Sakai Yūji into a human, the Reiji Maigo had naturally come into her possession. But given its immense implications and limited usefulness to her personally, Nitocris had left it untouched.
She had briefly inspected the Reiji Maigo and discovered a heavily damaged soul inside—if memory served, that was Johann, the Eternal Lover himself, one of its original masters.
She hadn’t expected the other original owner of Reiji Maigo would come knocking on her door so quickly.
“I’ve finally found you…Reiji Maigo…”
Pheles gazed passionately at Hirai Yukari, her voice overflowing with waves of longing and love, emotions so intense they felt tangible. Anyone hearing her murmurs would be overwhelmed by their sheer power.
“Johann…Johann…my Johann…”
Truly, for a mature and charming Crimson Lord big sister like her to love someone so deeply—the human called Johann must’ve been quite impressive.
“As I thought, it’s the ‘Colorful Flutter,’ Pheles,” Alastor’s voice was grave, addressing both Hirai Yukari and Nitocris. “She’s here for the Reiji Maigo, isn’t she? In other words, you have the Reiji Maigo?”
“Reiji Maigo?” Hirai Yukari blanked out for a long moment before finally dredging it from the corner of her memory. “Ah! I remember now. Isn’t that the Treasure Tool Sakai-kun had? Kami-sama once said the trouble it would attract was far greater than its usefulness… So, this is exactly that trouble?”
“Hmm…you could put it that way.” Alastor asked curiously, “So, what do you intend to do? Will you hand over the Reiji Maigo to her, or will you fight?”
Hirai Yukari couldn’t make this decision alone, so she passed it entirely to Nitocris.
“Johann… we’ll never be separated again…”
Pheles reached gently toward Nitocris, as if longing to touch her face. However, Nitocris firmly seized her wrist instead.
“I'm sorry, but I cannot give you the Reiji Maigo.”
Coldly staring at the stunned Pheles with brilliant, gilded eyes, Nitocris spoke slowly and deliberately:
“This Treasure Tool…is far too dangerous for the likes of you.”
---
This is a fan translation of 我才不要当英灵 by 死神的挽歌. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!
