Nonexternal
patreon
Small delay on next reward + life update think
🕑 Added 2022-05-31 19:06:14 +0000 UTCThis is going to be a messy rant, but i feel to get it out of my system and i want to share it with you guys, but first:
The art-pack and print selection posts are going to be delayed a little, maybe up to as much as a week, maybe i'll do it tomorrow.
Idk why i'm sharing this, it might be weird, it might be because I want to share it with you guys, and i feel it's also important to let u know as my fans and investors. Dw i don't feel pushed to do it, i just can't explain it properly x)
So, it's one of these out of energy posts again, and I am probably the one that's most surprised Because i seem to constantly forget that i'm not as healthy as I think.
Stress is one of the things that often builds up and takes a lot of energy from me, and i don't usually notice it, and i let it burn me out once I have some energy left over because I'm not able to stop.
There's also been this pressure of "going out of social money" soon, for a while, since they have pushed it further and further. But now it seems that 30.june is my last support day, and it feels more real than ever. And these deadlines have made me think that i need to grind enough so that I am able to economically support myself.
With patreon going so well as it does now, it would in theory be possible if i do 3-5 commissions a month, which is doable.
But for me, theres two problems.
1. I burn out, and have down periods where im not able to be as productive.
2. Ultimately i don't want to work so much on commissions. Because the pressure of working for uknown people can eat me up. This is something im still working on, and something i want to do from time to time; But not 3-5 times a month.
I struggle to write this out, because I feel it sounds like im a whiny spoiled kid that just shuts down when i don't get it like i want to. And, idk, that might be true, maybe im to soft, but i hope and like to think its because of just who i am and my problems. As this serious burnout have become a large part of my life, it turned everything upside down soon 6 years ago, and i never thought it would take this long.
Something else thats bothering me a bit and draining me lately is my living circumstances, it's a lovely place to live most of the time, but it's far away from everything(i don't have the driverslicense) and theres periods where the owner blasts music, or works on the hours that people would usually sleep, which helps being a factor that messes with my sleep and makes me tired/unbalanced.
I don't know where im going with this anymore, i just feel like sharing, i do not expect any response or anything, just want to let u know whats up <3
