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Another sort of big life update - > Moving forward
🕑 Added 2023-04-20 13:45:06 +0000 UTCIm going to try to make it shorter and more condensed this time around. So feel free to ask if there's anything you are wondering about in depth!
Yesterday I was in a meeting with my social worker: and I got the green light that I needed to search for a new home! Which is big for me.
The place I live rn is great in many ways, but two things that drags it down a lot is:
- I can only relax when others are not active + I can't do what i want when i want
- It's far away from everything, hard to get around without a license.
There are more factors but these are some of the large ones. And i believe moving could help my health a lot as well.
So now Its at least an option I can explore, there's still things that needs to be done before that. But one step at the time.
Stress
I'm flipping a lot of back and forth to what I think steals my energy, but lately I've fallen onto thinking it might be as simple as stress(On top of other things like food reaction etc., cause reactions-> inflammations-> stress on the body). because I'm often physically tight, tend to sort of hyperfocus and stress myself out.
Not in the form of hyperactivity, but small things being in the back of my mind without being aware. So RN I'm working on learning to take things slower, instead of trying to cut corners and be fast. At the same time as I'm trying to explore how to better organize stuff.
- As u know I'm naturally very chaotic with these things, but I'm realizing more and more the benefit of making things easier to find etc. Its just a matter of testing systems and getting used to them ^^,
Changing gears/redefining myself
There's always been a lot of wants in the back of my mind:
Learning new styles, modelling techniques, making base mashes with different styles and whatnot. And its something I'm trying to explore a bit now!
And with so much changing lately, mentally, with me getting better, being ready for a new chapter etc. It has also led me into wanting to explore more of these things without fear of losing patrons.
Yes sadly, that means less illustrations for now, but as I see it now illustrations is something I still want to have as my main thing. I just feel that I need some room to explore other advents, like making the Mirko model and whatnot.
And all this at the same time as not pushing myself to hard. Cause then I just burn out again and again.
HOWEVER, when I focus my learning on these other advents, I will try to integrate these things into the patron benefits, like I did with the Mirko code.
I don't think its going to be this way permanently, but i know i need room for experimentations here and there, to find better solutions and what I like.
And I totally understand if you don't want to support my art if you don't get as much back.
But know that even if it might not seem like it, I care about your opinions, about things to explore, try and whatnot. Even if I reject it now, that doesn't mean its not in the back of my mind and something I might do in the future.
For myself, for you
Yes, its a lot about me, but the reality of the situation is that I'm not in a optimal place, and I want to get better: both artistically, technically, physically and mentally. Because I believe I can make more and better, which in turns benefit you, if I focus on myself!
So again, thank you all for supporting me, and getting me one step closer to a better place and making this my living!
Comments
Peter Davidowicz
Focus pocus 🪄✨
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