MaeveMcCarthy
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Chapter XXXVIII
🕑 Added 2023-11-17 18:02:46 +0000 UTC“So?” the girl in front of him said, leaving him with a raised eyebrow.
“This knowledge is beyond valuable,” Hadrian explained with a heavy gaze. “If you choose to go down this path, there’s no going back. People will suffer. You will suffer. Let me state in no uncertain terms: your death alone would be the most optimal outcome. What you are about to learn might endanger everyone here. Are you sure you want to continue?”
The [Librarian] fought against the instinct to default to his rude self. He didn’t want to share this knowledge, considering the unbalance it would create, but he had promised a trade, and by his class, he could not back down now.
For all burnt parchment, I’m getting queasy at the idea of dealing with a little girl. How low have I stooped?
“I am ready,” Lily stated. “I need my Light Magic back.”
“Very well. You have already observed what Marcus and Arcadius are capable of.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” she said, but then she seemed to think of something. “Do you know how Arcadius punched a hole in the sky?”
Brother Hadrian rolled his eyes.
Such a pedestrian mindset, he thought.
“A common skill for [Monks] is the [Ethereal Fist]. You can find that in any common books in this library. It’s extremely common,” even while trying, Brother Hadrian couldn’t take the snark out of his voice.
“Well, sorry,” Lily replied, almost affronted at the bothered reply she had just received. “It was just a question.”
“Just a question, the kid says,” Brother Hadrian rubbed his face. “Why don’t you read more instead of going around playing [Gardener] then?”
“Because you said I should have just given up!” Lily shouted at the man, making him wince.
“Right... well, you were snotty.”
“Excuse you?”
“I couldn’t risk you polluting the library environment. Alas, you have now shown your determination and value for the future... we’ll get to that another time. So, shall we move out of here and teach you how to properly [Meditate]?”
Lily fumed, her small fists balled up, thinking that maybe her [Boxing] skill could be effective enough to punch the man right in the nose.
“Stupid,” she pouted, crossing her arms, fists still tight.
“Good. Let’s go.”
...
The monastery’s vast forest was a haven of tranquility. Trees, ancient and tall, their bark hardened by the test of time, stood sentinel as the first light of dawn filtered through their dense canopy. The leaves, painted with hues of gold and pink by the rising sun, shimmered softly as the early morning breeze whispered through them.
Lily, still fuming from her conversation with Brother Hadrian, walked beside the man, doing her best to keep pace with his much larger strides. Every now and then, a leaf or a twig would crunch beneath their feet, but apart from that, the forest was silent. It seemed to be holding its breath, waiting for the day to fully begin.
Brother Hadrian seemed at peace here. Despite his stern, often gruff demeanor, there was a hint of reverence in his eyes as he walked. Every so often, he would pause and reach out a hand to touch the bark of a tree and mumble something to himself.
“Marcus is uncomfortable within the unknown, like this forest,” Brother Hadrian suddenly spoke. “He can feel, at least in part, the great power in it—he’s afraid of it. Many are afraid of what they don’t understand more than what they do.”
As he finished talking, they entered a clearing where a solitary, run-down puppet awaited them.
“This is where I usually train. I don’t like distractions.”
“So, what’s the big secret to learning [Meditation]?” Lily sighed. There was an edge to Brother Hadrian that she both liked and was extremely annoyed by.
“Secret?” The man cringed. “What secret, you dense child. It’s knowledge. Knowledge is the secret to everything.”
“Ok,” Lily growled. “Can you teach me now?”
“Sure,” Brother Hadrian walked up to a big rock and pointed at it. “Sit there.”
Lily walked up to the two-meter-tall rock and then looked at Brother Hadrian.
“What?” He asked.
“Am I supposed to climb?” She threw her hands up.
“Oh, right...” Brother Hadrian bent down and, with a semi-disgusted face, picked up Lily by pinching her shoulders as if she was a pair of underwear overdue for washing.
As her feet finally touched the top of the rock, Brother Hadrian exhaled in relief and immediately withdrew his hands, cleaning them against his robe.
Unbelievable.
It was unbelievable for her that Brother Hadrian could get under her skin so much to make her lose her calm repeatedly. Not even living with her brother, the king of all profanities, had ever brought her to think of so many unsavory epithets for another human.
Lily shuffled on the rock, trying to find the right position to sit comfortably.
Brother Hadrian adjusted his robe, giving Lily a pointed look as if her mere existence was a minor inconvenience he had to tolerate.
"For someone who seemingly possesses so much knowledge, you sure have trouble focusing on the simple art of being still," he commented.
Lily shot him a glare, her patience wearing thin.
"Just tell me what to do."
"Oh, so eager," Brother Hadrian drawled, not hiding his amusement. "Very well, let's dive into the deep, dark depths of the mind, shall we?"
She bristled at his tone but held her tongue, waiting for him to continue.
"First, close your eyes," Brother Hadrian instructed, rolling his eyes for added drama. When Lily complied, he continued in a more serious tone, "Now, imagine a vast, rocky, mountainous world in your mind. It’s all made of black rocks with jagged edges. You are uncomfortable. You can’t sit still. Everything about this inner world is a nuisance to you. The wind blows cold against your skin but in an unnerving silence."
Lily muttered tiredly under her breath, but then, something happened.
She saw it.
A sprawling landscape, a wasteland of jagged rocks, tall cliffs, and deep ravines. Everything felt sharp, cold, and unwelcoming. A relentless wind blew, but there was no sound—only an unsettling silence that made her skin crawl. Shadows shifted and danced in the dark corners, elusive and mysterious.
Amongst the harsh terrain, a small figure trudged along, bent against the biting wind. It was Lily, a smaller version of her, struggling to sit still in the very world she had visualized.
Brother Hadrian's voice penetrated the silent, rugged world.
“In this great, uncaring world, where everything is your enemy and nothing a comfort, you are a fool.”
Lily’s eyes snapped open.
“What?!”
Brother Hadrian, however, didn’t even flinch.
“This is a skill I’ll be imparting upon you. You are free to jump off the rock and go back if you don’t plan on listening.”
Lily trembled. However, there was too much at stake. She still needed to get her Light Magic back, and they had all mentioned how [Meditation] might help. So, begrudgingly and gritting her teeth, she closed her eyes again.
“As I was saying,” Brother Hadrian cleared his throat, “in this great, uncaring world, where everything is your enemy and nothing a comfort, you are a fool.
“Everything is barren in the mind of the uninitiated. Everything is a jagged spike of rock you are ready to impale yourself over. There’s nothing but cold winds in the souls of those who know nothing about themselves. They are guided by those cold winds and them only.
“Now, visualize standing up and walking barefoot on these jagged stones. Feel the pain. Feel the discomfort. Feel everything you are not accustomed to feeling. Watch your reactions. Watch how you feel. Watch. Just watch.”
Lily did as instructed.
She visualized herself walking on the plateau by the side of the mountain, but immediately, pain shot through her feet, almost making her fall backward. She steadied herself between the hisses of cold air as blood started pooling at her feet.
“Watch, girl. You are not watching,” came the annoyed tone of the [Librarian]. “You are just reacting. Stop reacting. Just watch yourself.”
This time, Lily followed the man’s words and tried to calm down, almost dissociating from herself as she watched the pain, the discomfort, the cold, and the loneliness of this world. The more she watched, the more it became clear how these feelings had guided her every thought until a moment before she started this exercise.
The winds grew colder, the terrain rougher, yet the observing Lily no longer felt overwhelmed. Instead, she felt an odd sort of detachment, as if she was watching a play with herself as the lead actor. She watched as the walking Lily winced, struggled, and persevered.
But she was now aware of the feelings, how her body wanted to react. She wanted to stop, to get angry, to shout at Hadrian. But the man’s voice kept guiding her through the instinctive reactions she was having.
“Everyone is born a fool because everyone is born reacting to the world. But what separates us from a Steeltusk Boar is that we can think, that we can go beyond the mind patterns of animals. We can watch ourselves thanks to our minds. We decide how we behave and act. Not the body, not the mind. We do. Our soul does.
“The first step of the [Seven Worlds of the Soul] is to recognize your failures and to learn to thread the uncomfortable part of the self and master it. [Meditation] is no more than becoming less of a fool, less of an animal.”
She kept visualizing herself, getting more familiar with the environment.
“Now, we shall make this skill yours. To do so, within this barren mountain landscape, find a spot where you can sit. A place that, despite everything, feels safe. It’s a place only you know. It’s a place only you can create. Sit and imagine a barrier – a shield, like a [Light Shield] – forming around you.”
After an indeterminate amount of time, Lily finally stopped looking for the path with less jagged stones and began exploring this cold, black mountain with curiosity. The pain and discomfort were still there, but they were not guiding her anymore.
Brother Hadrian’s voice intruded once again.
“There, you will keep watching. Slowly, your inner world will be revealed. You must keep up the barrier and watch yourself against whatever fights back. This way, you will be able to safely interact with whatever resides inside yourself and, perhaps, master it.”
Lily visualized a small clearing amidst the jagged stones. The winds didn’t seem to reach there. The rocks, while still cold, were smooth enough to sit on. She sat there, feeling a sense of calm envelop her. It was as if she had found an oasis in a desert, a sanctuary amidst the chaos.
“Look inward. Don’t fret.”
Even though the words sounded reassuring, as soon as she fully sat down and started looking inward, inside this mental projection, a deep rumble echoed from above. From the zenith of the mountain, dark, looming clouds formed rapidly, casting a gloomy shadow over her. These weren’t ordinary clouds. They swirled in a hypnotic dance, exuding an ominous aura as if they held the very essence of darkness. From the heart of these clouds, a thick, inky substance began to cascade down. Each droplet oozed with malevolence.
The thick, viscous substance, denser than tar, began pouring over the shield she had visualized. Soon, the shield began to sizzle and hiss. The sturdy barrier was corroded, and she felt her lungs – her real lungs – starting to constrict and cut the oxygen from her blood.
Brother Hadrian's face tightened, his eyes narrowing with concern. "Hold!" he commanded. "Don't panic. Simply visualize everything that is happening. Understand what is trying to break through the shield. Understand it, and you will know how to fight it."
Lily tried her best to quell the rising panic. She took a deep breath and began to focus on the attacking force. She attempted to discern the essence of this dark substance.
I need to succeed, she told herself. I need my magic back.
She tried using all her being to prop up this shield and watch as intently as possible – the black tar began sliding off her shield and left paler patches and more translucent trails of light on it.
She could feel a malicious energy inside the tar, something immortal but... demonic. She looked at it, but she had to divert her gaze multiple times because the black substance made it impossible for her to breathe.
She tried and tried until a voice reached her ears in the loneliness of the mountain.
Death.
The voice came so powerful her barrier was almost destroyed at once, but she could also hear Brother Hadrian’s deep voice.
“Find yourself. Your true self.”
Lily felt tears forming in her eyes as she heard the voice dark once again.
All your fault.
It’s all your fault.
You should have fought with him.
You should have killed the monster.
Elysium is dead because of you.
The shield started to get torn apart, and Lily felt herself being physically slapped by Hadrian, her mental projection immediately crumbling down as she came out of the meditative state, wheezing and observing the faint black veins covering her arms.
She stared down, seeing Hadrian’s arms on hers, where black veins had seemingly spread to the man’s arms as well, albeit fainter than her own. Soon after, they disappeared as if they had never been there—so fast that Lily wondered if she had just been imagining them.
“Close,” he breathed in relief. “Too close.”
[*Ding!* Adjunct Skill – Seven Worlds of the Soul acquired!]
[*Ding!* Adjunct Skill – Seven Worlds of the Soul level 1!]
...
“What happened?” Lily asked after recomposing herself.
Hadrian stared into the distance, away from her, “you messed with powers that—never mind, child. Go rest. This... this is the worst-case scenario.”
“What? Messed with what powers? What do you mean, the worst-case scenario?”
Hadrian didn’t pay attention; he just looked at her with pity in his eyes.
“Your father... he is a fool, Lily. Whatever he’s planned, don’t listen to him. He will get you killed.”
He picked her up from the rock and refused to answer all subsequent questions, merely leading her back to the monastery.
“I can practice alone now?” She asked as he was about to enter the monastery.
“You will be able to. I’m not sure you should,” Hadrian hesitated, taking a long look at Lily and then at himself. “This... this will cost us.”
“What?” Lily was even more confused, but Hadrian simply walked away.
...
A Week Later
The sun bore down on the monastery courtyard, bathing it in a soft, golden hue. But Lily felt none of its warmth. She sat alone, trying to meditate again.
I need my Light Magic!
But, as always, the instant she closed her eyes, the haunting vision of the black rain returned. It felt as though it was watching her, waiting, and every time eroding her shield as soon as that eerie voice started to speak. With a frustrated sigh, she gave up.
Lily rubbed her eyes—she had stayed up all night, hoping to gain some insights into what was wrong with her. But alas, she found none.
Her body felt weak. Whatever was inside her had been sucking vitality from her every time her shield came close to cracking. She had tried resisting as long as possible out of frustration, but when she pulled out in the last second, she fainted and woke up spitting up actual water.
That had put her off from any future attempts for now.
She saw the [Monks] starting to stream out of the monastery for their training.
Darn it, I’ve missed breakfast and the prayers again...
She didn’t know whether she would be scolded by Marcus or perhaps bothered by Lucien, but a group of [Monks] drew her attention.
They were gathered in a hushed discussion. Their demeanor was serious, troubled even. Curious, Lily approached Arcadius, who stood calmly at the edge of the group. The wise old man locked eyes with her before Lily could even speak.
"Arcadius," Lily began, her voice filled with concern, "what's going on?"
The old monk looked over, his usually bright eyes clouded with worry. "It's Brother Hadrian. He's come down with a severe illness. They say it's his lungs... a disease."
Comments
Erebus
Thanks for the chapter.
Mitchell
XXXVIII is crazy lol
