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599 — I’m Going to Bite You
🕑 Added 2025-10-19 17:15:48 +0000 UTCAfter finally getting to eat those lettuce leaves that looked like cat ears, Yukinoshita Yukino felt her trip to Itouya could end on a perfect note.
The only regret was that she hadn’t been able to pack up the salad and take it home.
She’d wanted to take a few more pictures, admire them for a bit, maybe even turn them into stickers later.
But sitting across from two girls who had both beaten her before, the ever-proud Yukino could only grit her teeth and chew down the cat-ear lettuce in silence.
After parting ways, she watched the two head off to another café for dessert.
Her stomach was already full, so she declined their invitation — but somehow, that made her feel like she’d lost again.
When she returned to her apartment, the receptionist at the front desk greeted her with the same friendly, sincere smile as always.
Yet Yukino still remembered overhearing that same receptionist once badmouthing a resident behind their back.
Her words so spiteful that Yukino had felt physically sick just listening.
And then, mere seconds later, that woman had put on the same cheerful smile to chat warmly with the very person she’d just cursed.
Yukino never exposed her.
Despite being half-jokingly called a “Justice Superhero” by someone.
Yes, I’m talking about you, Yamauchi Sakura — she wasn’t actually a superhero.
She couldn’t make everyone follow her sense of justice.
Expressionless, she gave a polite nod and stepped into the elevator.
‘He’ll probably tell people I’m cold and look down on the poor, won’t he?’ That was Yukino’s only thought as the elevator doors closed.
Standing in front of her apartment door, she pulled out her key — but paused halfway before sighing softly.
The door wasn’t even open yet, but she could already hear her older sister’s teasing voice echoing in her head.
‘Once I go in, I have to run straight to my room before she spots the shopping bag… otherwise she’ll definitely—'
Her train of thought stopped abruptly.
Right — that annoying, flirty sister wasn’t even here anymore.
Haruno had gone back to her own life.
Unlike Yukino, Haruno actually had one — a lively circle of friends, a warm relationship with her neighbors.
During her short stay here, at least three people from the building had called to check if she was okay because they hadn’t seen her around.
Add to that a junior from school, two people from her university club, and several party invitations she’d had to turn down.
‘Her phone must be so happy,’ Yukino thought, finally fulfilling its purpose to the fullest.
By now she was already inside.
There was no need to say “I’m home,” because no one would answer — except the empty air.
"Maybe I should ask a friend to install smart furniture here," she could almost hear her sister’s voice echo again, "so when Yukino-chan walks in and says ‘I’m home,’ the lights and air conditioner will turn on automatically. That way, you won’t feel so lonely."
That teasing, mischievous voice still lingered faintly in the quiet living room.
Yukinoshita Haruno, the kind of person who’d happily peel open her little sister’s wounds if it meant getting a laugh out of it.
Compared to her, even Yamauchi Sakura was a better person.
At least when Sakura mocked her, she’d include herself in the joke too.
Yukino didn’t bother turning on the lights.
She walked through the darkness straight to her room.
Sitting down at her desk, she exhaled deeply — but the breath didn’t seem to carry away any fatigue.
Leaning back, she suddenly thought of that place — the Ruyi Dormitory.
Just opening the door there meant being greeted by a wave of noise — barking dogs, shouting kids, the sound of chopping vegetables, running water, anime playing on TV, people arguing over the remote…
Yukino wasn’t exactly socially anxious, but even so, all that chaos gave her a headache.
She’d thought back then, “Coming home to this after a long day would be exhausting.”
Would it, though? She wasn’t sure.
Every time she went there, time seemed to fly by too fast — before she could even process anything, it was already time to leave.
But one thing she was certain of — the quiet house she shared with Shizuka-sensei felt even more exhausting in its emptiness.
‘Should I go back home for a bit?’ The thought surfaced — and she immediately pushed it away.
It hadn’t even been a month since the new semester began.
If she went home now, her father would overreact and think something terrible had happened, and her mother would tell her not to force herself, to just come home if she couldn’t handle it.
‘Strange,’ she thought. ‘I’m not someone who can’t handle being alone. On the contrary, I actually enjoy it.’
Thinking alone — no pointless arguments.
Eating alone — respecting both the food and the chef.
Reading alone — no distractions.
Solitude had given her so much.
So why now… why did she want to escape it?
Under the soft amber light of her desk lamp, the black-haired girl furrowed her brows in thought.
‘Ding—'
The sudden sound broke her concentration.
She turned to see her phone screen light up — a message.
———————————————————————
“Home yet? That restaurant was really good. The grilled venison was amazing. You’re probably hungry again by now, so Mitsuha ordered a portion for you.”
— Hojou Kyousuke
———————————————————————
‘Who gets hungry right after eating dinner? Then what’s the point of eating at all?’
Yukino stared at the message and couldn’t help but think, ‘This guy’s insane.’
But unseen by anyone, the frown on her face slowly melted away.
Her delicate brows curved gently.
Thankfully, no one was there to witness that smile.
Otherwise, everyone who saw it might have lost their hearts on the spot.
Just as she was about to reply, two more messages arrived.
One was a photo — apparently of the grilled venison, though Yukino wasn’t sure.
In the picture, the golden-brown venison only filled about a third of the frame — the rest was dominated by Hojou Kyousuke and Miyamizu Mitsuha’s smiling faces.
Sure, it was a clever composition — one-third subject, two-thirds background — highlighting both the dish and the people.
But Yukino didn’t think about it that way.
‘These two are just like my sister — taking joy in my misery!’
The next message read:
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“Cats eat grass to get rid of hairballs. Just eating grass won’t fill you up. Come on, it’s really good!”
———————————————————————
‘That’s not entirely true,’ Yukino mused. ‘Cats also eat grass to help their digestion, clean their mouths, and supplement minerals…’
Before she realized it, Yukino Yukino was laughing softly, her lips and eyes curved with genuine warmth.
———————————————————————
“Even if you call me a cat, I’m not going to be happy about it.”
— The Stubborn Heroine
———————————————————————
Seeing her reply, Hojou Kyousuke scratched his head helplessly.
He hadn’t meant to tease her — he’d just been saying she ate like a cat, in tiny bites.
———————————————————————
“If you go home without eating enough, it’ll feel cold, you know.”
———————————————————————
He typed back.
———————————————————————
“You still worry about me even when you’re out on a date? You really are something, Hojou Scumbag-kun.
Still, I’ll admit — thanks for your concern. Tokyo’s average temperature tonight is 20°C, hardly cold enough to—”
Also, I’ll be supplementing my “cat-grass” diet with some necessary carbs.
Don’t worry about me — enjoy your meal with Mitsuha.” — The Stubborn Heroine
———————————————————————
Kyousuke scratched his head at the message.
That nickname really did suit Yukinoshita.
“How’s it going? Is Yukino coming?” Mitsuha wiped sauce from the corner of her mouth with a napkin and asked.
Grilled venison is best when you pick up the whole cut and tear the meat from the bone — that rugged pull of muscle from bone was irresistible.
“Huh? Yukino asked me to apologize on her behalf,” Kyousuke said, shaking his head before taking a sip of lemonade.
“Apologize for not coming? No need to apologize if she just didn’t want to eat out.” Mitsuha looked puzzled.
“No, it’s because I, being the jerk I am, still thought about her while I’m on a date. That made her feel bad, so she asked me to apologize.”
Kyousuke sounded almost embarrassed even saying it.
Yukinoshita Yukino’s moral standards were intimidatingly high — by comparison, his flexible moral baseline had long since sunk to the Mariana Trench.
“Heh—haha! Rare to find a girl who treats you that harshly.” Mitsuha laughed, half in shock, half amused.
Luckily the restaurant was nearly empty save for them, and the robatayaki chef at the counter was a consummate professional, disappearing into background service whenever the customers weren’t chatting.
Kyousuke shook his head and typed back.
———————————————————————
“You promised to recruit me as your live-in son-in-law, but you’ve turned me into a tool for checking on your sister. Is the son-in-law treatment at the Yukinoshita household really this bad?”
———————————————————————
The chat bubble showed two words: Haruno, and above that another message:
———————————————————————
“Oh dear, did I turn off the gas before I left? Hojou, can you check for me? Otherwise little Yukino’s short life may quietly end in loneliness.”
“Also, a little secret: I left an unwashed pair of underwear in my room — I changed after working out. Don’t be shy, think of it as your errand reward.”
———————————————————————
Only Haruno could send messages like that.
Less than half a second after Hojou hit send, Haruno replied:
———————————————————————
“Boys who pester too much get annoying, you know. When a girl invites you into her room, you must immediately throw aside all morals and reason.
That’s advice from your sexy big sister.
So — want a drink tonight? A special ‘son-in-law-only’ drink you can’t get anywhere else.”
———————————————————————
No address — as if summoning him to heaven — then she sent an address and the electronic door code. Generous, inside-and-out.
“Want to go, Kyousuke? I can cover for you — tell them my dad made you stay for drinks,” Mitsuha whispered, leaning close.
“No thanks. I’d rather talk tasting notes with the brewer than drink with someone who never gets drunk.”
“The brewer?” Mitsuha blinked, then her deadpan memory assaulted her fragile sense of shame.
“AHHH — make me forget this instant!” Mitsuha flew into a rage, nearly snatching the restaurant’s serving paddle to wipe Kyousuke’s memory clean.
They laughed and teased one another while the chef at the bar looked on with a kindly smile.
———————————————————————
Meanwhile, in a luxury tower somewhere else…
Reading Hojou’s last reply — “(҂⌣̀_⌣́)” —
Yukinoshita smirked and muttered, “Is that some kind of hieroglyph? Weren’t those abolished a thousand nine hundred years ago?”
She put her phone away, stretched long and slow, and felt the day’s fatigue melt away.
Eager, she opened her shopping bag and examined her haul:
Some needed stationery, two new novels she couldn’t find at Asami Grandma’s shop, and an Itouya limited-edition “Mr. Pan” plush.
The plush was the real reason she’d gone to Itouya, though had she known she’d run into Hojou and Mitsuha, she would’ve picked a different time.
Still — she’d gotten the doll she wanted!
Note to self: send a return gift to Mitsuha next time.
Recalling the embarrassment from being bumped into at Itouya, Yukino’s face showed stubborn pride and irritation.
She opened a drawer, rifled through hair accessories, and clumsily began to play with her silky black hair.
Natural beauty didn’t require much styling, and she clearly wasn’t good at arranging hair.
At last, she managed to fashion a little throne from her hair and carefully perched the plush on top of her head.
She adjusted it with a few careful sways; the plush — a panda with starry eyes — stayed perfectly balanced.
Perfect.
Practical Yukino ignored the messy nest her styling made and flashed a self-satisfied, smug grin.
She pulled out one of her new novels, planning to lose herself in fiction and exercise her imagination.
As she rubbed the edge of the pages, she suddenly remembered: Didn’t that jerk Hojou say he was releasing a new work? I wonder how that’s going.
Her brow furrowed with worry, but then she thought of Hojou wandering the shops with Mitsuha and relaxed — everything must be fine.
———————————————————————
“Bastard! How dare you come back!”
A shriek accompanied the shout as a platinum-colored flying object—launched like a missile—headed straight for the just-arrived Hojou Kyousuke.
Hojou, who had been smiling a moment before, was startled.
He dropped his bag, moved instinctively, and used a wrestling hold to catch the incoming attacker midair.
“Ah! Panties—Eriri’s embarrassed! Panties showed!”
A high-pitched, childish cheer rang out.
Kasuko running over with quick pitter-patter steps — gaped at Eriri, who dangled upside-down with her brother holding her by the ankle.
Indeed, it was Eriri who’d attempted a flying kick at Kyousuke.
Now she had no face to show, her flipped-up skirt obscured her face, leaving only two pale, slender legs and two golden ponytails in view.
“AHHH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!”
A furious voice came from under the skirt.
Kyousuke felt his scalp prickle.
He was convinced Eriri would bite him to death if he let go.
So he tightened his grip and looked around desperately for somewhere to hang her where he could make a quick escape.
The best choice would’ve been Utaha-senpai.
If he had the chance to prank Eriri with her, he wouldn’t pass it up.
But she wasn’t in the living room.
Yukari… better not involve her.
Even if she wouldn’t refuse, dragging Yukari into Eriri’s humiliation would break the poor girl’s heart.
Sakura was out in the yard laughing with their mother.
Shouko…
Scanning the room, Kyousuke realized the most eager to take over Eriri were Kasuko, brimming with excitement, and Momotarou, who was loyally ready to help.
“If I put you down, you can’t bite me — it’s self-defense, totally justified.” he tried, testing the waters.
“No way! I’m going to kill you!” Eriri snapped, voice wild and resolute.
Even trapped in his grip, the proud princess refused to bow down.
She wriggled like a worm, struggling frantically — not caring if her frantic movements sent her toppling headfirst and left her with a broken skull.
