felka felka
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To be you and to be me with you.
🕑 Added 2025-05-19 19:43:07 +0000 UTCMy depression began young.
I couldn't be myself around my family. I was too passionate, too energetic, too much.
So I hid parts of myself and became a version of me for them I thought they would like.
But I left myself in a great big shadow. And stayed there for far too long.
...
I have been incredibly fortunate
in meeting friends that love me for me
that see the sparkle in my eye when a funny-looking dog walks by my window
and they already know the joke I want to make.
How the pup looks like a hoola dancer with the way he sways those little dog hips, haha.
My weirdness is not just accepted,
but welcomed.
And to be included in someone else's comfort circle
has showed me that I am allowed to be all of me.
Not just the parts I think people will like.
Does that make sense?
...
Why this community is a place we both come back to
is because it is a place where we can be ourselves
free of judgement.
You ask me what I look like
and I shake my head.
No, my love.
Tell me how I feel.
How do I feel to you?
I am here showing up as me, all of me.
And I want you to do the same.
Because it is an honor
to get to know you.
The real you.
The real you is my favorite you.
Every part, every version.
All the you that you have ever been.
I'll sit with in times of need
when you feel like there isn't anyone on planet Earth
that could get those weird parts of you.
...
I want to start a longer conversation about stepping away from people that put you in a box. People that would not accept new versions of you and in turn make you feel like you cannot change because they would tease you, belittle you.
If you have lost old friends or family members, I want to encourage you to see it as a growing moment. Alone, you have the liberty to become who you are meant to become. Free from judgment, moving fluidly without the weight of their judgment on your back. You know what I mean? Sometimes, losing the wrong people means finding parts of yourself that you would not have found otherwise.
I love you so much. I hope these words of silly wisdom from me to you can carry you a little lighter today. This is a conversation, so I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! :)
love you, mean it!
~felka
Comments
Irukah
I doubt it's what you meant, exactly, but I lost my father when he passed away before I was ever able to let him (or anyone else) see who I actually am. I've somehow been incredibly fortunate in that nobody truly important to me has rejected me for being my true self. Nevertheless, the realization that, yes, you are lovable and will be loved by the right people, and that, no, that is not contingent on you putting your true self in a box, and, finally, that anyone who thinks they need you in that box is better left in the past, well, that realization is such a milestone. It deserves more celebration than we typically give it.
Arthur Lopez
Honestly, kind of relatable, haha. I’ve already shared a bit about myself, but yeah—I spent a lot of time repressing who I was. Some people tried to box me in, but most of the time, I was the one building the walls I ended up stuck behind. I basically crafted my own cage. Luckily, I had strong emotional support around me. Even when I didn’t realize it, I was loved and accepted. I was just ashamed of who I was. These days, I express myself more openly—I don’t hold back anymore, for better or worse. It’s funny though, because even now, I wouldn’t say I’m fully “myself” in the strictest sense. Arthur isn’t my real name, but it’s not about hiding or pretending to be someone else. I just like keeping the pseudonym going, haha.
Quinten Tarantino
My life got kind of railroaded by the suicide of my girlfriend so I can really feel it and attest to the fact that it does get better. I still sleep with her stuffed animal, and I still dream about her constantly, but the dread is gone, the hole my chest is either filled or healed over. I forget who said it, but the quote "we hold on to the pain because it's the last thing we forget about them" is accurate as could be. I don't remember her face, her voice, the smell of her perfume, but I know I miss her. It gets a little easier every day, just gotta stick it out and do your best! Hope you all know you are loved, be it by family, friends, or strangers who still think about you. Love you too felka, a lot of people owe their calmest moments to you, so know you are appreciated. ❤️
