felka felka
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you deserve to feel safe in your friendships.
🕑 Added 2025-06-06 00:21:26 +0000 UTCBuckle in, tonight's rambles are a felka rant (soft spoken and whispered, uwu) about friends. Specifically, the bad ones that we gotta let go. Tonight, I tell you the story of how a good friend who I invited to my home stole a precious heirloom from me: my grandfather's pocket knife which I was gifted before I left for the U.S.
As a lonely bunch, it can be hard to step away from friendships that aren't good for us. I had a tumultuous friendship with her and had a gut feeling that it would not work out between us. It wasn't until a friend told me what she saw that I had a wake up call. The friends you keep say a lot about you, and I'm in a season of life where I want to love myself. That means choosing friends that make me feel safe in our friendship...
I don't know if this will resonate, but I had a gut feeling that someone needed to hear this. If you have a friendship that is just draining you, I encourage you to use me as an example. Sometimes, people keep us around because they have bad intentions. I knew all along, but didn't listen to my gut. Turns out my gut has a pretty good radar. All I gotta do is listen :D
I can't get that knife back, but I am letting go of what I cannot control. I have a better sense of people now, and I can take this situation with grace. I've been scouring knife shops for an even better pocket knife that would make my badass Polish commander grandfather proud :D (super tough 'n' hardened military grandpa says WHAT? :0)
P.S. The camping/outdoorsy series is being edited as you read this. Next week's audios will be us packing together for the trip, taking care of you when you get scared of the dark in the forest, and driving in the car together :) I'm taking my mic in the car WHILE ACTUALLY driving. I'll be singing to you, rambling, and narrating what I'm seeing outside the window. It's the sleep-aid you've been waiting for, the sleep-aid I've been DREAMING about producing.
P.P.S. This WILL be up on YouTube for you to enjoy :3
I have so so much to say. The past few months have been transformative (in a good way)! I miss you, I love you.
love you, mean it!
~felka
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Comments
AardyG
Friends... Tha'ts difficult for me. I've never really felt that I've had anything to offer socially. I enjoy being around people but I never have anything to say because I guess I feel like nothing I really do or feel matters that much - not enough for anybody to care. I always worry about imposing and over-stepping boundaries and so I feel all I can do is let people come to me. Naturally that ends up giving them the wrong impression that I don't care about them or don't want to be around them... I don't know that it's such a simple solution as opening up and taking a chance. I feel like I lack that critical fire of life. I have nothing to bare.
Dart011
This one really resonated with me. I dont think I could comprehend having multiple friend groups for different activities. I've always been more of a loner with a couple friends, but as of the last few years, my circle has grown with people that I know are life long. The "ride or die" types, to describe them. Sorry to hear about your knife... I hope the best that some way, somehow, it gets returned to you π§‘
