Torsten Hewson
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v4c63: Celestial Body
🕑 Added 2023-11-21 05:44:43 +0000 UTCFirst off!
Volume 3 is now out!
I would like to thank you all for making this possible. I couldn't have done it with out you!
And now.. the moment that this arc has been building to.
===============================
Yushang woke slowly.
The first thing she noticed was that she was comfortable. There was a slight pain somewhere in her guts to be sure, but the bed was soft and the room was warm.
She had been hurt quite badly at the academy before. Her sternum had been cracked in two, and most of her ribs were broken. All she remembered from those days after the injury was the haze of pain, and the cold, dark room. She had spent most of the time huddled against the wall, her sword resting on her shoulder just in case anybody got any ideas.
She had been alone, with nobody but herself to rely on.
Two warm fingers brushed against her neck. Yushang froze. Young Master Zang Sheng had wanted her—!
Her eyes snapped open, only to meet a pair of eyes that were dark and familiar. They were in a Medical Pavilion room.
“You are all right, Yushang. You are in no danger here,” Ri Zu whispered.
Yushang instantly calmed down at Ri Zu’s voice and touch, the surge of adrenaline from thinking she might have to fight fading. She looked around the room curiously.
“Man, you got way too much energy if yer up already,” Biren snarked from where he was watching over her.
Yushang chuckled. “You know me! It's my charm!” she declared with a crooked smile.
Fat Han snorted from his place beside Biren. Shao Heng, standing with his arms crossed, chuckled.
“It's good to see you awake, brat,” the older man said.
Yushang smiled, her chest all warm and fuzzy… before the reality of the situation once more reasserted itself.
“It's good to see you all, but what’s happening with—”
Ri Zu’s fingers touched Yushang’s lips. “Worry not. Bi De is taking care of it,” Ri Zu’s voice was full of not conviction, but pure, doubtless faith. “We can watch tomorrow—you’ll be well enough to move then. For now… rest. Your friends will take care of you.”
Yushang blinked away the wetness that gathered in the corner of her eyes. She bit her lip.
She knew it was absurd, that her friends couldn’t stand against the Young Master, but despite that… she couldn’t help but feel things were going to be alright.
====================================
Bi De sat with his arms crossed as the cheers rumbled from the crowd like thunder from a storm. He was the last competitor on the Inner Disciple Box.
The first bout of the semi-finals was well underway. Zang Sheng was displaying consummate skill—as was his servant. Chengang was a dervish with her glaive, deflecting lightning bolts and tearing after her Young Master.
The crowd was loving every moment of it, howling as they displayed themselves… but Bi De could see that neither of them particularly liked it. Bi De could glean nothing useful from them trading pointers, so much were they holding back.
Sheng’s eyes bled frustration—as did Chengang’s.
And then, after more lightning rang out, the woman was defeated. “I shall trade pointers with you properly later,” Sheng grunted to the woman. She nodded, and then he turned his eyes again to Bi De.
They were oddly hungry.
And then, the only other bout for the day was called, his own. Later on in the day there would be a pill refining competition and an artifact battle; things that might have piqued Bi De’s interest before, but now… he paid them no attention.
The announcer was background noise as he boomed out Bi De’s name. He glanced up at the crowd, to where his friends were sitting. Yushang waved at him and mouthed something that looked like “twist his dick” as she made a rather vulgar arm movement.
Bi De felt a small smile form on his face before it faded and he gazed upon his opponent.
Bi De faced off against a man in the Fourth sSage of the Profound Realm. The man who had driven a sword through Yushang’s chest.
While he could see she was fine… that did nothing to reduce the fact that the man had done it on purpose, under the orders of Zang Sheng.
It was something that would be answered.
The man standing across from Bi De smirked at him.
“Hmm. With resolve and intent like that, no wonder you have drawn my Master’s eyes. Are you going to take revenge for your woman?” Shaoqing asked. He seemed oddly eager.
“I would err more on the word justice—though I doubt a man such as yourself gives much thought to its meaning,” Bi De replied pleasantly.
Shaoqing huffed. “You may be higher in cultivation, but your soft heart shall be your undoing. A man must be steel and value only strength. Something you shall learn. For even if your cultivation is higher, a strong foundation and will can bridge that gap.”
Bi De put his arms behind his back. “We shall see.”
The gong resounded.
Both Bi De and his opponent exploded into motion. A moonlight-shrouded leg met Shaoqing’s blade… and Shaoqing’s eyes widened as the blade stopped cold, cracks radiating out from its edge as Bi De’s superior cultivation and control made the blade tremble.
“Though you are correct on one account. A good foundation and a strong will can bridge a gap.”
Shaoqing made to retreat.
[Wheel of the Crescent Moon]
Bi De’s other leg lifted, silver following in its wake to smash into the other side of Shaoqing’s blade.
The sword shattered. Fragments of metal shot into the air and then descended like falling leaves.
Bi De expected nervousness. He expected his opponent to be cowed; most seemed to be, when an opponent beyond them was revealed.
Yet Shaoqing just grinned and raised his fists.
Bi De’s eyes narrowed. And then he advanced.
Shaoqing was strong. Shaoqing was skilled, and was clearly used to fighting opponents that were more powerful than even Bi De. But Bi De would not be denied. He had sparred with his Great Master and trained under Master Shen Yu. Even if this form was not his preferred one, he was still Shaoqing’s superior.
A leg slammed into Shaoqing’s arm and the man barely winced, even as Bi De felt the bones break. The man’s retaliation hit nothing but air, and then he wheezed out a breath as Bi De’s knee cracked into his sternum.
Shaoqing’s body sparked and erupted with lightning—only for that lightning to be absorbed harmlessly into silvery armor.
Bi De did not waste time with boasts or with humiliating his opponent. After all, while Shaoqing was the blade it was his master who had commanded him to strike Yushang.
It was grim. It was methodical. Bi De dismantled his opponent while conserving his energy. Bones broke. Blood splattered, and Shaoqing was ground down.
In the end, a rising kick crashed into Shaoqing’s jaw. The crowd roared its approval. Yushang had to be pulled back down into her seat as she moved more than she was supposed to. Bi De’s fellow Inner Disciples cheered. Fengfeng was fanning her face.
Bi De turned to Sheng. He expected to see some emotion on the man’s face.
The man’s smile was wide and hungry, his power scratching at the corner of Bi De’s soul.
=========================
That night, Bi De simply meditated and prepared.
In all honesty he had not expected to be really invested in the tournament. It was a distraction. A role he would perform to experience the true world of cultivation.
If Sheng hadn’t… wanted Yushang, he likely would have just bowed out.
But instead, there would be a battle.
One that Bi De wasn’t entirely certain he would win… but for both himself and Yushang, he would have to try anyway.
===============================
The seventh day dawned.
The stadium was packed full. Crystals projected the arena into other areas of the sect, for those who could not make it to the tournament itself.
Mortals took time off work to turn towards the mountain.
And a man named Old Ling was rather sad his drinking buddy hadn’t shown up today.
====================================
“And now—the moment of truth! The final battle! The invincible and indomitable Young Master of our Sect! Zang Sheng! Versus our newcomer! A rising star! Fa Bi De!”
Bi De stood across from his opponent, a man who was practically vibrating. As soon as the introductions were over, he turned to the Elder’s box.
“Patriarch, may I finally stop holding back?” Sheng demanded, glaring at the box that held the Sectmaster of the Shrouded Mountain Sect.
The man studied Sheng for a moment.
“Yes. Show everyone the might of the Shrouded Mountain Sect,” he declared, and then waved his hand negligently.
The gong sounded for the final time.
And as soon as it rang, power exploded from Zang Sheng. The full might of a man in the Spiritual Realm was brought to bear against a single opponent.
[Thunderous Steps]
Bi De’s instinct screamed at him as instead of blocking he threw himself out of the way of the strike. It was like a bolt of lightning, so fast Bi De could barely react to it at his current level—but manage to react he did, ever so barely.
[Fulmination Arts: Gold Wire]
Only for lightning to erupt off Sheng’s fist and crackle against hastily conjured silver armor.
Bi De would have to thank Yin for the technique later.
Yet even as the bolts dissipated, Sheng was already moving again, advancing into Bi De’s guard with the intent of forcing it open. It was relentless. It was aggressive… and worst of all, as Bi De was forced to give ground, it was working.
The fighting style of Zang Sheng unleashed was shock and awe. It was never letting up. Bi De could not dodge the rain of blows—he was forced to block and deflect, and each time Sheng’s fists connected with his limbs he felt the impact reverberating through his entire body.
Within the first exchange, Bi De knew he was outclassed.
Zang Sheng was faster. Zang Sheng was stronger.
Bi De would even say that Zang Sheng was more skilled… and especially more skilled in this manner of fighting.
Bi De drew upon all his skills and all his experiences against driving off the onslaught of Tigu’s claws and Xiulan’s blades. He parried with his still not completely familiar hands, and wove through attack combinations with the barest hair of space.
Bi De needed space. He needed to disrupt Sheng’s onslaught.
[The Rising of the Crescent Moon]
Bi De fell back onto his most useful technique. The technique that had defeated Basi Bu Shi, Chow Ji, Sun Ken, and gave Zang Li pause.
As surely as the moon, Bi De’s leg rose into a devastating strike that had even cut Shen Yu’s face.
Zang Sheng caught Bi De’s leg. His arm started to buckle. His skin burned slightly.
But the Young Master held.
For the first time since he had learned the technique, the rise of the moon was stopped.
Bi De had only time to suck in a breath as Sheng rammed his fist into Bi De’s jaw. For a brief instant the world exploded into stars. He felt his back hit the ground, and Bi De forced the disorientation away not a second too soon.
Sheng gave him not a moment to recover as a devastating kick crashed into Bi De’s crossed arms.
===========================
Ri Zu’s watched the battle that was unfolding on crystal screen. She winced at each blow that got through, and her eyes locked onto every bruise and splatter of blood.
She knew Bi De could be hurt. She knew he would take damage, she had patched him up enough times.
But even still, Bi De always came through. Even when he was half dead from poisoning she knew she could place her trust in him.
She had been so sure that even with a realm’s difference between the two, he would prevail.
Yet right now Bi De was losing. He was losing badly.
Even though he managed to strike back for one or two blows. Even though he hadn’t really been injured yet.
He was losing.
And yet… Ri Zu’s heart was oddly calm.
==========================
“Impossible! Impossible! In all my years, I have not seen a bout such as this! Our Young Master’s strength is overwhelming! But Bi De hangs on by the skin of his teeth! Truly, the disciples of the Shrouded Mountain Sect are beyond compare!” The announcer roared.
The crowd was on their feet. The world was a wall of sound.
Zang Fengfeng watched it all, her hand on her chest. Bi De’s hair was a red banner as he shot around the arena, weaving through Sheng’s strikes. Fengfeng herself had barely lasted seconds the only time she had ever sparred with her cousin—and here Bi De was, merely in the Profound Realm, and surviving.
Heavens, he was a man. Even if he lost to her cousin, he was performing a feat worthy of a legend. Maybe she could even convince Sheng to let her… borrow what was surely to be his new servant.
But eventually, even the most heroic of feats could not last forever.
Bi De made a mistake. He took a hit and threw himself backwards slightly too far… and Fengfeng knew what was coming.
[Heavenly Deluge]
Bi De’s eyes widened as a wall of lightning descended from the heavens.
[Aegis of the Full Moon]
The moon appeared in the arena in all its glory. Lightning met the face of the moon. One bolt. Ten bolts. A hundred bolts. The ground around the moon slagged and shattered. The air screamed in protest. Smoke and debris filled the air. She could hear Bi De roaring from under his shield, holding it up and straining like he was holding up the very sky itself.
Yet even under this onslaught, the moon held. Its face was pockmarked and scarred—but it was there. The silver light dissipated, and Bi De collapsed to his knees.
He was utterly spent. He was defeated. Sheng approached, and for the first time since she had seen him, her cousin actually looked happy as he raised his fist to end the fight.
===============================
Yun Ren’s mind worked a mile a minute. Should he activate it now? Would the shock stop Bi De from getting hurt too badly? Sheng was smiling like a right bastard
Yun Ren was just about to pull the trigger when a voice cut through the roars of the crowd.
“Really? Is that it, boy?” the voice asked, sounding both amused and disappointed.
Everything and everyone froze. Sheng’s eyes widened comically as he paused his advance, instantly searching for whoever had spoken.
Yun Ren’s head whipped around, looking for who had spoken—when he glimpsed something that stuck out hilariously, but he just hadn’t been able to notice.
There was an old man lounging on the roof of the Elder’s box. He was laying on his side, his head propped up by his arm on a blanket. There was a bowl full of stew sitting off to the side, and in his hand he held a gourd of alcohol.
Slowly, a smile began to spread across Yun Ren’s face.
=============================
“Really? Is that it, boy?”
Shen Yu’s question pierced Bi De’s exhaustion. It pierced the pain that was lancing through his arms.
Bi De was on his knees. He was defeated.
Yet he still had one more card to play. He was loath to use it without great need… but if Shen Yu was here now it meant his time at the Mountain was at an end.
“No, I am not done yet,” he replied.
He had needed to hide. He had needed to infiltrate. He had limited himself, stuck in an unnatural body. Slinking around and hiding his true self.
The moon did not hide. The sun did not hide.
All who gazed up at the heavens knew their glory.
Bi De took a breath, reached deep, and broke the seal.
Light enveloped his body.
=================================
Zang Sheng took a step back as his opponent activated a technique.
This was why Sheng hated holding back; if he did not destroy an adversary completely… then they would have a chance. A chance like this.
He threw his senses forward anticipating an attack… but this was no attack.
It was a breakthrough.
A mid-battle breakthrough. Zang swallowed as he felt Bi De’s Qi rise up into the Spiritual Realm.
And then, to the Second Stage.
He felt his heart thunder in his chest, preparing for whatever would come out of that light.
He glared as the technique faded, staring at the aftermath. And then he paused. His mouth opened. A bit of snot dripped from his nose. He felt blood start to crawl up his throat as he saw the impossible.
===========================
He was not alone.
The entire crowd stared at what had appeared in the arena. Zang Fengfeng had spilled wine down the front of her dress. Zang Zhong had puked blood all over the man in front of him. Liao Yushang’s eyes had gone completely blank. Che Han had dropped the dumpling he was stress-eating, while Shao Heng had just looked completely befuddled.
For where Bi De, a handsome man, had once stood, now there was something else entirely.
What was in the arena was not a man, but a proud, erect cock. He wore a fox-fur vest, and a silver chain around his neck. His plumage was the colour of fire. His tail was the most beautiful of jade.
An existence that matched Zang Sheng; the man who would be the next Patriarch of the Shrouded Mountain Sect.
It was…
“A Chicken?!” the Shrouded Mountain Sect roared as one.
==============
===============
Editors: Oshi, Aaron “Pastafarian” Sofaer, Massgamer,
Comments
Daniel Gesualdi
The chicken joke just doesn't die.
Zachariah Daugherty
You wear a disguise to look like human guys but you're not a man you're a chicken
Kreylix
11/10. Supreme.
Adgsi5
We stan a proud, erect cock
JonO
Bi de. The only one who can actually be cockstrong, and cocksure lol
JonO
It'll become rizu and mei meis favorite thing to do as it'll give them training in accuracy and paying attention to the little things far and near. Plus they're doctors and what doctor doesn't enjoy a tee off lol
John D Jones
All of them.
Eleana
Thank you for the next chapter in this wonderful story!! There seems to be a typo after the first break. It appears as if it should say "stage" based on previous chapters and says "sSage." I glanced through the comment section and didn't see it pointed out. Apologies if it's already been brought to your attention. For ease of locating it, here's the direct quote. The particular word is highlighted with stars: "Bi De faced off against a man in the Fourth *sSage* of the Profound Realm. The man who had driven a sword through Yushang’s chest."
Scholar of Endless Knowledge
Finally. Can’t wait for the next chapter
swishmcfish
Bi De is the Xianxia Protagonist, haven't you read the Title?
Barry Morgan
Right, thanks.
Randall Brynsvold
See the author's update that was just posted -- it looks like an accidental omission that has been fixed for future downloads of the text. (I don't know what will be done about the audio book.)
Barry Morgan
Fair enough. I just didn't know if it was an editorial choice or an error that needed to be caught.
Randall Brynsvold
The book releases are re-edited versions of what we see on Patreon or Royal Road.
Barry Morgan
I don't know if this is the proper place to post this or not, but as I've been listening to the audio book it seems like some things are missing compared to what was on Royal Road. (1) I can't find the chapter where Ri Zu works on Bowu's leg. Can't find it in the Kindle version, either. I'm only just past the final tournament battle, but the acupuncture session was before that, wasn't it? (2) Wasn't there a scene before that battle where Tigu was with Rags and Loud Boy at the top of a hill and she carved her name there? And she told them that there was a time she beat Xiulan but she hadn't been sleeping for days ("the fool")? I can't find that, either.
Logrus
We ALL knew it was coming but it was STILL incredible. Can't wait to see a chicken beat the hell out of an arrogant young master!
Just A Dude
Cock-slapped, you might say.
Just A Dude
Perfection! The reveal was everything I'd hoped for! I'm glad I was reading this in private, because you hade cackling out loud.
Andrew Denton
I can absolutely see this back and forth interrupting the flow of the fight, as they try to out-talk each other.
Marcin
Huh... i wonder which ladies will still want Bi Des company :D
TheBugEater
Let's start a little smaller Archaeopteryx
Akki
Reminds me about that scene from Jurassic Park where that kid mocks the velociraptor for just being a 6 foot turkey and then Dr Grant demonstrates how terrifying such a thing would really be.
jay
We probably only got like 2-3 chapters of this arc, one more for the final fight, one for the mist recording, and maybe one of them wrapping things up
John D Jones
Talking about "final forms," figure Bi De's next alternate forms will be Velociraptor or Tyrannosaurus rex. Which can also use cultivator magic kung-fu.
Resolved
I'd expect Bi De to respond with "i'm not kind, i'm compassionate and my compassion has limits" when Zhang Shengs underling mocks Bi De for being a kind 'man.'
Allie
Bless you for cramming so much into one chapter
Binge Reader
Truly Shen Yu will come to live for the Chicken Realizations. Hilarious every time
TheBugEater
Chicken moon
Randall Norman Pick
Old master showing up with a 'Is that it, boy?' to start the counterattack is peak wuxia.
Palmer Evans
Random idea while listening to the third book again when Jin is talking about getting wine-and-dined and the equivalent of taken golfing by the Azure Trading Company: Jin introduces golf to his friends and makes a golf hole near his farm that is like a mile long or something equivalent for cultivators so they can hit massive drives off the tee. (I’m biased since I play golf myself but the idea popped into my head and seemed like a fun idea so I thought I’d put it out there)
Z H
Well it is generally considered rude to show off your cock like that in public, no matter how majestic and erect it is. I hope Bi De doesn't get a reputation as a flasher for that blinding transformation technique!
Z H
Bi De should be okay as long as they don't figure out his two biggest weaknesses: Lemons and Peppers!
Z H
So is this the first chapter of the story that you've ever read or did you just pay zero attention to the lore of the setting and the specifics of this character as established in earlier chapters? Because you are basically wrong on every single point and it's laughable that you're trying to bring real world physics into a fight with a magic chicken.
Vector
Even in cultivator fights basic anatomy helps. Not having hands, hollow bones and being of a size and weight that he is at genuine risk of being punted like a football are real handicaps (wingdicaps?) in a fight. Chicken form is like playing as a joke character in a fighting game, a great player can still win but it definitely makes it harder.
Kevin Menard
Now he finds out why cocks were considered an emblem of courage.
Melanie Me
I agree AU can wait a week.
John D Jones
Probably their response to something like "A Spirit Beast! Attack it and claim its Core!" would something along the lines of "Fuck that. That's Master Jin Rou's chicken. He was merciful to us once. I'm not testing him again. Especially since he could probably turn our Shrouded Mountain into a valley."
Truedragon5374
Now you face my True Form! MOON CHICKEN!
Pope Yoda I
You know what goes great with salt? Chicken.
William Johnson
I think the only people who have noticed Shen Yu are the ones who's perspectives we've seen.
Matt
While I am enjoying the AU more than I thought I would. By a lot! I…I mean “we” need the next few chapters out ASAP! Don’t push too hard that you get burned out, but damn the cliff during the most epic scene of the volume is killing me—*cough* us!
Rehan
Freaking love it!
D J Meigs
Once again this saga lives up to its name: Beware of Chicken! I’m a bit surprised no one is reacting to Shen Yu aside from our guys m, though maybe they haven’t had time.
Skylar
I think we are almost out of the sect arc. Looking forward to the next.
DarkOuroboros
And so the face slapping begins! the next chapters are going to be pure gold!
Purple Floof
Cock-a-doodle WOO
Lucubration
Magnificent reveal, although I can understand Big D's reluctance to expose himself to such a crowd.
TheSFReader
He'll ask his ol'pal Old Ling to do it
Oskatat
That... would be perfect CasualFarmer, please take a note ^
Oskatat
Book 4, Chapter 5: When the examiner threatens to shoot lightning in Ri Zu's back: Two green eyes speared him like a heron spears a fish. The red-haired man did nothing more than stare at Jipeng, but the moon rose in his vision, filling the sky with silver light. Fifth Stage of the Profound Realm. Chapter 58: Next was his cultivation and preparing for the upcoming tournament. Bi De had plateaued at the Fifth Stage of the Profound Ream… and that was fine. Instead, he sought to refine his fighting style in this form.
Kat Wilton
I absolutely cannot find the words to express how much that very last section ABSOLUTELY ROCKED!!!! "A CHICKEN????!!!!" LOLOLOLOL Love. It. So. MUCH!
Max E Malekzadeh
I more think he meant trying not to kill his opponent. Yeah he got permission to use his full strength but that still doesn't mean intentionally kill your opponent. Especially if you care about the strength of the sect at all killing the second place person would be stupid and wasteful.
CUI13
Gonna wait for the award ceremony at the end of the tournament
Nathan Quitugua
Shrouded Mountain is now going to go on a never ending feud against chickens now. Foxes...chickens...may as well throw the rest of the barn animals in there when they learn about Ri Zu
Oskatat
Or shout "Behold the might of my cock!" right now
Oskatat
All in good time. Though we are having a good time now, it is not the right good time
TheBugEater
It's great he called him soft. Man doesn't know he's below him so far he's not worth his time. But his boss is about to find out that Bi Da is as cold as he is caring!
Dennis
Its probably already there just no one around to see it at the entrance to the sect yet.
Pope Yoda I
Bi De: *angry BU GOKing noises*
Skylar
So worth the wait. But please! Don't make us wait so long for the next.
Arkenian
I'm just waiting for Big D to humbly apologize for disrespecting Sheng by fighting him while in his weak human form...
Apeljohn
That was kinda my point: a "soft heart" (c.f. differential tempering) can be a virtue, for steel as well as for men.
Dustin Cabe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm1iXbxn4lg
Featherweight
Phase two of the boss fight.
Leili Mård
Seconded
Aaron W. Smith
Okay. That WAS worth the wait.
Seiden Kyoukai
Now I'm just waiting for Gramps to plant a Beware of Chicken sign at the entrance to the sect :D
Barry Morgan
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez1IgYWkzs8&pp=ygUIa3VuZyBib28%3D
V01D
Yun, PLEASE tell me you recorded this!
Avdrdr
What about airing the sects sordid history
Avdrdr
All hail the chicken
James C
Hmm, that sounds a bit 'Wishy Wa Shi' to me...
TheGrog
You wear a disguise to look like human guys You're not a man, you're a Chicken Boo!
Really_Big
Cluck, Cluck, Motherflucker! This is a very pleasant mother pheasant plucker!
Thed Nilsson-Sträng
I think that should stay. It´s just an innocent play on words after all. You´re the one with a dirty mind :P
Moonspike
Why would it need an edit? Bi De always has immaculate posture.
Old Dog
As always, thank you for the chapter. Even more so for the book. I have been listening to another Canadian author, which has also been a hoot of a listen, but that book is going to have to wait for the next two days while I binge listen to book 3. I can sleep when I'm dead.
Old Dog
What Dennis said.
Old Dog
Cock blocked?
Old Dog
01 for me.
Sean Ulrich
Alexander Krikorian
All the ladies were thirsting after him, wonder what they'll think now that they've seen his dikdik pics
Jostikas
Then head back home and have some fun! EDIT: the reverse sorting of comments on new Patreon really ruins in-thread replies.
Bender
Dragon Ball C
Bender
Well, Beware of Chicken!
JonO
Someone is about to get cockslapped mwahaha
JonO
Seriously if the next chapter doesn't involve the phrase "slapped in the face by a magnificent cock" in some manner. .i might vomit blood
Paimon
You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man, you're a Chicken Boo.
WolfKnight22
Hahahhahzhahhahahahhzhzhahahahhahahahahhahahahhaha
Benedict Beale
Now they learn why you should "beware of chicken"
BigBro Bluesman
That fuckin entrance was perfect on all levels
Aaron Schwartz
To be fair, strong steel doesn’t do that. REALLY GOOD steel not only isn’t brittle, it can even bend. Brittle steel is the sign of shitty metalwork
St Chef
The only thing these cultivators fear is you Doom Chicken! Rip and Tear until it is done!
Aaron Schwartz
I mean.. it WAS that. Right up until the protagonist turned into (and this is a direct quote) “a proud, erect cock” that isn’t something you see in most Xianxia.
ChanceOfFoxin
That's fuckingperfect
WyrdWizard
A powerful transformation technique indeed.
skewness7
And Yun Ren is recording their reactions, he could have material for ages.
TheFoxsCloak
"He glared as the technique faded, staring at the aftermath. And then he paused. His mouth opened. A bit of snot dripped from his nose." This expression on a lightning throwing asshole? Nice Enel reference. Very subtle; had to reread for it to click.
rhekke
Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you?
Cj
Foolish he is not a Chicken! He’s THE Chicken
TheSFReader
Nobody's commiserating with poor Old Ling missing his drinking buddy!
Bridd
POOOWWWWEEEERRRR!!!
Katarak
Not really feeling this arc. I miss the farm and shenanigans. This is to much just classic xianxia.
I like this so much, thanks!
Namorat
I only had time to re-read a few favorite chapters but maybe I will be able to listen to it at work. The hype is real
Kasinki
What a beautiful way to end a chapter. Thank you for the update, CF! I am ravenously waiting for more.
Apeljohn
**Sees title**. "More Lanlan art? Great!" **Opens post** "Awwww..." Also: > "You may be higher in cultivation, but your soft heart shall be your undoing. A man must be steel and value only strength." Missed rebuttal: strong steel is brittle and fractures easily.
Andrew Puterbaugh
Cluck
Apeljohn
I think he was more complaining that holding back at the start of a duel is a bad habit which screws you over in actual combat. Since it leads to protagonists getting late-game power-ups. (Hem hem)
Apeljohn
Can they even *detect* the monster on their roof?
Demian Buckle
Thank you for the Chapter. Congratulations on the release of the latest novel. When will the physical edition be available?
Nicholas Grey
Yup. He’s been at Profound 5 for a while.
Ichypa
Given that he’s a freak, Sheng is probably going to be enthusiastic about getting his shit kicked in. But that’s okay, because Zong is producing enough salt for the both of them.
CringeWorthyStudios
The climax? Nice. Though I think we have to wait till next chapter for the real climax. 🤣
CringeWorthyStudios
Yeah, when you say it like that…
Scottyboy22
Well worth the wait. By far my favorite books.
CringeWorthyStudios
She *really* wanted that cock.
Echo Sparksong
🐔😱😆😂🤣 Great way to start the day. 😁🐔
Benjamin Lawton
I second the motion!
Ibiso Charles
Thanks for the chapter and so worth the wait. I’m so looking forward to the beat down. You go Bi De!
Qivel
Wait.. was Bi De at the end of the profound realm? I must admit I forgot
Baines
I’ve been chuckling on and off now for 5 min. That ending …
BelligerentGnu
All this time later, the joke never gets old. I love this story so much.
Reid Haataja
You sure know how to give us a great day, book drop and an epic chapter! I know what I'll be listening to in the flight back from Tokyo!
A person of taste I see.
STORRM
fuck yea! WOOO
Anzer'ke
Gotta tell himself that he was only unable to win the fight because he was still holding back.
Anzer'ke
I think they may currently be more worried about the monster on their roof.
Stan Cornett
Exactly as it should be. Beware of chicken......
Ozzy
His human form will probably catch up to his chicken form eventually but he's only had that form for a few weeks/months at this point. It makes sense that he would have trouble using it.
Paul S.
"A proud erect cock" is going to slap his face. Well, probably kick his face, but everyone loves a good face slapping.
H
I hereby petition for early release on next chapter!
Wyatt
Poor Fengfeng, how will she deal with the realization of how much she wanted a Cock.
Wyatt
Well its like this, spirit beasts are naturally strong, and anything that cultivates is tougher than hell. But also, go ahead and take your best martial stance and punch the chicken.... while he's about as tall as your knee. Meanwhile while your trying to figure that out, he runs between your legs an uses his wickedly sharp Qi reinforced claws to slice your Achilles
Dennis Ngawhare
Finally-the chicken emerges in the SMS. And my order of the kindle and audiobook have arrived too.BOC all night methinks.Go chicken!
Joseph
I needed that laugh, thanks :)
Chichi son
Bi De faced off against a man in the Fourth sSage of the Profound Realm. The man who had driven a sword through Yushang’s chest. there's an extra 's' here
Cam
A chicken!!!!
James C
Zang Sheng: "Give it up. You are defeated." Bi Di: "You fool! This isn't even my final form!"
John Grizzly
and then, the Majestic Cock swung, and so did the unfortunate cultivator fell, for it wasnt the heavens whomst greeted them that day, but two, humongous Celestial Orbs of BigDickEnergy. all hail Bi De, GIVE EM HELL
KDBA
Arise, chicken. Chicken, arise.
Thiemo Guenther
This is Xianxia. Your arguments are invalid
Wolfram Kaiser
Lol, what a Fight.
swishmcfish
Iirc, Spirit Beasts are just tougher than humans in general
Net
Big D is about to slay him lol
swishmcfish
>Be me, Zhang Zhong >Be told to watch over a New Junior by my Superior >Make him manage the garden to suppress him >He's unaffected >He's a handsome bastard who sings well; even my concubine is giving him looks and thirsting after him >One day go to check on him >He managed to start taking Qi from the air with no waste, something only late Sky-rank elders can manage >I go into closed door cultivation to meditate after I almost suffer from Qi deviation >I come out during the tournament >He manages to reach the finals fight against the YM of the sect >He starts managing to survive by a hair-breadth when I would have gotten crushed in 2 moves >He loses >Relief.jpg >Old Man lounging on top of the Elder box tells him to stop holding back >He goes up 2 Realms through a breakthrough >Great bright light flash.gif >He's a chicken.jpg >I Projectile Vomit Blood on the man sitting in front of me
BlueMage_VT
Anyone else remember Chicken Boo from Animaniacs? 🤣
Vector
I know it’s a form Bi De is more comfortable with, but chicken form is not the best for fighting. It lacks any form of reach and is just generally more frail than a humans.
Sezra_
Thanks a bunch! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔゞ゛
El Squidd
NOW THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
Ryan Naquin
Why is Zang Sheng complaining about holding back allowin Bi De to pull out this technique? Didnt he specifically get permission to not hold back?
N0ct3m
oh this is gonna be GOOD
Thomas Brusilovsky
Lmao
Cheuk Hin Ho
Chicken attack! Awesomely appropriate song choice!
Nicholas
What's this Big Di is evolving? Big Di has evolved into a DOOM CHICKEN!
jeffrey niski
He's about to get his ass whooped by a gawt dang chicken.
Npad11111
Behold! The mighty cock rises!
Melanie Me
Aaannnd.... a cliffhanger!!!! Ugh!!! I been waiting for this ending for weeks now... ugh lol but all good things come to those who wait. (Sigh)
Splutty
El Polo Grande (World of Warcraft reference for those that get it :D
Thunderhoof
Round Two
Splutty
That cliffhanger is a bit of a dick move. Or is that cock move. Hmmm.
Fritsco
Hahahaha So good!
taukid
The climax of this volume features a "proud erect cock" Truly beautiful 😢
Bob
Don't get too cocky now
RJKY
"My master sent me to the Shrouded Mountain to learn.".
Remo Williams
KNEW IT! Totally called it!
RJKY
Bi De should have been mentioned in the reports to the Elders, even if they only knew about "Master Jin's Magnificent Cock.".
Justin
How long was this in the making? Well played!
Loah
Uuuuuugh audible releases at 8pm over here. Whyyyyy
BargleNawdleZouss
Bi De should win just from Sheng's Qi deviating in shock.
Lanter
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 THE MIGHTEST COCK IN THE LAND REVEALS HIMSELF! No but this is great and hilarious. He gets shonen style beat up, levels up mid battle and EVOLVES INTO.... A CHICKEN! The reactions 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Anton Selling
The ultimate technique, chickenfication 💪😤
Joel Magnuson
My only thought is Zang is about to be pimp slapped by a chicken.
Philosophyanon
Please, I am begging you let Yingwin, Fengxian, or any of the others who were at the dueling peaks is in the crowd and recognise that plumage
Anon
The erect cock emerges!
Crimson wolf
"A proud erect cock"
Dbcooper3k
👍 well done. Just fucking nailed it. 👌
lockx
I broke. That's so amazing. I haven't laughed that hard in so long
That Guy
This was beautiful
Mike lee
This was great; looking forward to the fights end.
Stav Tri
Yes, yes he is. And beware Big D's might
DT
-Puts Chicken Attack on loop- Yes. It is TIME.
Ford-Thomas Frank Loveland
Someone actually vomited blood. I love all the reactions. Cultivators are hilarious
TwoRavens
COCK SLAP TIME!
BigBad
The reveal. So glorious!
Andrew Denton
"I told you! I told you he was a chicken! A giant chicken!"
BEWARE
Palmer Evans
Hahahaha perfect chapter!!!
Cyrus McEnnis
Kick his ass, Bi De!
Nevinex
It is time for Zang Sheng to learn the might of the greatest Cock to ever grace the Shrouded Mountain.
Nicholas Grey
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Andrew Denton
I have been reloading and reloading for this all day! Now, to read!
Hong Zhou
I’ve been waiting for it on Audible! Looking forward to hearing Bi De during my gym sessions :D
