Boundaries
🕑 Added 2025-02-19 08:17:09 +0000 UTCHi My Darlings π
Today I had to ban someone from both Patreon and Discord for routinely pushing boundaries that I had enforced. Such as:
Revealing too much / spoilers
Complaining about other series being posted instead of just Attack on Titan
Guilt tripping responses when addressed
Not taking no for an answer when asked to be patient and wait for the react to come out before I discuss (because where is the fun in discussing something you haven't seen yet?!)
Consistently falling back into old habits without change
I made excuses for 3 months but the moment I had people on Discord reach out about feeling uncomfortable around them, I had to do what was best for the community first and foremost despite the guilt I feel at having to put my foot down.
I just want to reiterate that whilst I am so so grateful for the support I receive from you all, that does not entitle anyone to make me feel uncomfortable to the extent I avoid Patreon or Discord. Financial support does not mean that I am not worthy of respect when enforcing boundaries.
Outside of this one individual no one else has ever pushed me to this point - don't worry π BUT I felt it was important to remind people that I am a person too and I deserve to be treated as such.
Love you all and have an amazing week π
Comments
Sophie Anders
Will do β€οΈ
Sophie Anders
It really does π
Nurkhat Jumabaev
The title sounds like AOT title
Thomas Cabrejos
Understandable, stay safe out there boss.
Sophie Anders
Thank you so much Enrique. It's always hard to make that call but they've had 3 months and no sign of improvement so needs must!
Enrique Mendoza
I'm really sorry you had to go through this, it's sad that some people can't respect simple boundaries. You absolutely had every right to ban this person, do not feel guilty at all. We all support your decision completely as the right one. Have a great day!
Sophie Anders
I absolutely am!!
Sophie Anders
I made so many excuses but seeing the behaviour cross over into Discord and just pushing boundaries when I already firmly said no irritated me. Even then I was like "okay it's fine people get excited" but I had at least 3 DM's telling me that they were beginning to feel uncomfortable with their presence because of how they were behaving, so that's when I put my foot down. I'm very good at ignoring my own uncomfort but not the community's!
Anna Kyruin
The entitlement of some Patreon consumers will never cease to amaze me. I feel like they have to have no concept of how much work goes into maintaining a channel.
Violet
Great choice. Peace of mind is always the move
Driahva
I've seen how much you analyse things. If someone drops a hint to me I'll end up hyperfixating on it and 'spoil myself' by theorising with stuff I shouldn't know. I suspect you are similar.
Gina Queen
I agree with you, people needs to learn to be respectful. Just because you pay money doesnβt mean you can just do whatever you want. So sorry you had to deal with people like this, it is definitely for the best for you and all of us that they are banned.
Lustful~Mirage
It's for the best, for you and the community π some people will never learn and always make things awkward for a community and those who made the community, but it is indeed the best course of action you took π
Sophie Anders
Thank you so much β€οΈ
Sophie Anders
Thankfully no spoilers but comments very close to it π β€οΈ
Kelby Farley
100% agree!!!! Did the right thing. π€π
Zarayut Ziri
π You absolutely did the right thing! Protecting your boundaries and the community is so important. Please donβt feel guilty β those of us who care about you completely understand and support your decision. You deserve to feel comfortable and respected in your own space. Sending lots of love and positive vibes! πβ¨
Jay Mistry
Mama Bear. Love how apt that is.
Driahva
I'm so sorry to hear that. =_= I didn't notice but I'm a casual community member, pretty much... I hope you haven't had any significant spoilers because that would s u c k so badly. Currently trying to catch up on Death Note and people do have bad habits with that. Less so with AOT, I find. A lot of AOT fans take spoilers seriously because for us the excitement of seeing the reaction isn't something we'd ever want to diminish. We're mostly here to be emotional vampires, I think..m
Hippopi
Aw thatβs so sweet!
Sophie Anders
For sure. I can be quite bad at enforcing personal boundaries and I make excuses, but the minute it impacts the community I become a mama bear πβ€οΈ
Sophie Anders
Considering the amount of people here - I have been so fortunate that it's really only been one person! Everyone else has been so very respectful π
Zwei
Definitely made the right choice. Unfortunately it's just statistics that some bad eggs end up in every community once they hit a certain size. Hopefully you don't run into it much
Hippopi
It sucks when people donβt respect well-established boundaries, especially after being warned about them. Also just because someone is paying doesnβt mean that you canβt ban them for breaking said rules. Like banning someone from a store because they keep messing it up or being too loud/belligerent.