sierralee
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October 25 Update
🕑 Added 2020-10-25 20:27:38 +0000 UTCThis was technically my first week of break, but it didn't really feel like it, because I've had a pretty steady stream of TLS-related emails, comments, and messages. Thanks to those of you who are understanding that I won't be addressing everything immediately.
Meanwhile, the OEA mapper is tearing through interior maps (above). Doing this kind of parallax mapping is actually a bit of a pain, preventing me from working on the same stuff, as there's no way to merge our changes into one project. Not that I would have been able to spend much time on it, this week.
I put up a TBS worldbuilding post that may interest some of you. I already did promo for the audiobook preorder last week, so I'll just briefly say that if you feel like supporting me extra, helping this release would be a way I'd really appreciate. If you don't have them, some links:
US: https://www.audible.com/pd/177424568X?qid=1600795838
International: https://geni.us/TheBrightestShadow
Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0856ZMG9Z/
I have to do about one more week of promotion, then I'm done... for one thing. This sucks, but effort put in now matters more than my work itself, so it would be unreasonable not to do it. Hopefully next week I'll have a more relaxed update.
Self-Absorbed Creativity Ramble
Though most of you have been very understanding, of course I've gotten a number of messages objecting to taking a break or shifting focus. Such opinions are anyone's prerogative, but some of those have made assumptions about my creative process. I'd like to address those, though I'm afraid this will end up more rambly than insightful.
Some creators seem to have a limited quantity of creative energy that they need to put entirely toward one project or it dissipates, but I'm not one of them. I've always found it more creatively fulfilling to shift between different mediums and concepts. The statement I made a while back about immensely enjoying my TLS work after all this time is still my current feeling on the subject, but to avoid the stagnation of creative energy after so long working on a single story, I really appreciate being able to shift gears.
As much as I try to apply discipline and good habits, there's an aspect to creativity that's difficult to pin down. What I want to emphasize is that taking on more stuff doesn't make me feel unhappy or overworked, not compared to certain abstract feelings. This makes me feel like a stereotypical unstable artist, but that's who I am at this stage in my life.
To give a hypothetical example because I want to avoid specifics, sometimes projects are a mix of general tropes I play straight that don't really interest me, and other elements that make me passionate about all the rest. Sometimes I get comments that read to me like, "The general tropes are good, but the author should get rid of that other garbage." Now, readers are free to feel this way, but it has a nasty impact on my creative energy. I've lost whole parts of days because I fell into a bitter mood and writing seemed pointless.
Now, in an intellectual sense I know that this is irrational. I've received so many wonderful comments, especially about TLS, that let me know that many people care about the things I put the most effort into. But there are still times when I end up feeling like I'm successful not because of what I'm passionate about, but because of what some readers can use my work to gain.
This is still far better than failing as a creator, struggling to pay bills, or so many other worse scenarios. I try to cultivate gratitude for everything wonderful in my life, including you guys. But in terms of my overall creative output, such ephemeral moods have a greater impact than some time spent on a side project.
This reads as a bit self-absorbed to me, but heck, I'm trying to take a break. Hopefully it's of a little interest to some. Back next week, as always!
Comments
Treeman4
While I can tend to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to talking on the internet a lot of what they are feeling could just not be being transmitted correctly. But, even if that was the sentiment they meant by it I wouldn't pay them any heed. They are still enjoying a part of your work, even if they have some issue with either focusing entirely on it or expecting something else out of it. Lastly, don't let a comment specifically like the one mentioned bother you, tropes are tools whether subverted, played straight or teased around, someone being upset about one being used one way is just being overly picky, IMO. Your work is great, and best of times on your break, you deserve it.
Jeffrey Lebowski
Oof, sorry some people are being unsupportive but I'm glad its a minority. I pay you for your work, but I am supportive of you as a person and artist. I'm glad you've taken such an intellectual approach to your introspection, even if the specifics of many aspects of ourselves feel ephemeral or even elusive. I know that many practices regarding intentionally cultivating gratitude and positive perspectives have a significant amount of published research lauding their psychological impacts and such strategies have benefitted me personally, so I'm glad they help you as well. Your creative process is your own and I trust you to wield it effectively, so I'm glad you're being a self-advocate and not letting any malcontents demotivate you in the long-run.
Sierra Lee
I'm not sure which books you mean, but thanks! The TBS audiobook could really use whatever support you feel is appropriate right now, then I'm launching something new next month.
Sierra Lee
I tried to get to some insights, anyway, so I'm glad it worked a bit. >The chests in the 4th pic are almost otherworldly looking in their sparklyness. Those middle ones are from the special magic chest set, which only contain endgame stuff. >Bovals are neat. Like rhino-cow-pigs. Yeah, was kind of going for something like that. Sort of ugly cute.
Dimitry
Imagine living a life without knowing how writers work! TLS is a god-sent masterpiece exactly because author change focus from time to time. I could not see any problem with getting a steady stream of updates for a best game ever and a bunch of different things of varying quality on a top of that. The new book series look especially good by the way.
androidK
all the things that can happen will happen. i support you taking time to do things in the order that makes sense to you. I think the thing patreon does well is allowing people to support artists.
Decanter
I enjoyed the ramble, and anyway, insight into how a creator works seems relevant enough to the weekly updates on how things are going. OEA maps look nice. The chests in the 4th pic are almost otherworldly looking in their sparklyness. Bovals are neat. Like rhino-cow-pigs.
Sierra Lee
I appreciate the encouragement, of course! I'm not the type to really struggle with imposter syndrome, so it isn't like such criticism cuts me to the core. But when the stuff I'm most passionate about doesn't succeed as much as I'd like, then the reactions depress me.
WaxerRed
In a perfect world when a depressive mood hit you, we should be able to deploy you Qum hugs and Aka stabbings to whoever got you bummed! But not being the case I'll just settle for telling you to be proud of yourself SL! Much as we like we can't stop negative reactions, nor the downs of the creative process, it's just part of the job. But though we can't stop the downs, we can try to help contribute to the ups of the creative process! I hope you don't just focus on the bad, and know that myself and others here love your work. In a world of up and downs, trust me when I say seeing whatever you've put out next be it NSFW or SFW has always been a consistent up in my life! Thank you always for what you do SL!
AF
"The general tropes are good, but the author should get rid of that other garbage." English does not have words strong enough to describe how little this opinion matters. If someone is skimming the surface of your work just enough to see the tropes but not the underlying themes that tie the tropes together- then what use is such shallow feedback anyway? Besides, there are enough derivative works that your hypothetical commentator can find something that suites their taste just fine out there somewhere. But there is no one out there who does quite what you do. It must be overwhelming to be beset on all sides by feedback of all sorts. I fear it's a downside of being a creator on the internet. The cool thing about the internet is it allows creators to interact directly with the public to create what they want without going through traditional publishing routes. The uncool thing about the internet is that it allows creators to work directly with the public without a publisher to insulate them from the mountain of both positive and negative feedback everywhere their work is viewed. Anyhoo good luck doing whatever is best for you mental health right now.
Sierra Lee
Glad you like them!
Sierra Lee
Yeah, I know that people will have preferences, and I never want to give the impression that's a problem. I don't mind when people express those. As I tried to articulate in the post, it tends to be other things that get through whatever skin thickness I've built up. That said, I'd appreciate if anyone who cares about TBS at all would review the audiobook! Not sure if that requires a purchase, but hopefully not. The algorithm has infinite hunger for reviews. -_-
Sierra Lee
Unsure.
Innocuous
A lot of people are already commenting on the process thing and I feel like I don't have much to add, so instead, I think those OEA maps are great and I'm really liking the updated OEA look.
Sierra Lee
I could probably rewrite that sentence for better clarity, but that's what I went with. They're not so stupid that they'll die with food sitting on the other side of a fence, but raise the difficulty a bit and they'll starve.
MattL
Hey! Just wanted to chime in. I'm also the kind of person who lets negative comments take up a disproportionate level of energy, and I know that the only balm against that is encouragement and positive feedback. So thank you for your contributions to the world! I think TLS is one of the greatest entries I've played in adult interactive fiction, and whatever methods and schedules you choose to follow, we trust you. You're the talent, we're the consumers and supporters, and it's that way for a reason. So trust your judgement and protect your energy!
Dubsington
I have followed a ton of creators, and you're in the top drawer of consistent releasers. I have zero problems with your process. True, I follow you more for your NSFW stuff than your SFW stuff (that being said-- I do love TBS), but it would be insane for me to insist you redirect all your time to TLS; you've made it clear that won't improve TLS much (if any), and will make for a sad Sierra. If people think losing development time to another project hurts their favorite's release schedule, they should think about what happens to that precious schedule if the creator says fuckit and peaces out.
DankPotatoes
I think i get it. Can't say I have a thing in my life, that gives me as much passion as writing seems to give you, but I can recognize the feeling of being so enchanted with creative processes that doing nothing for an extended period would be unfullfilling. Perhaps you don't need to "take a break" if you don't want to And perhaps you don't need to take advice from randos on the internet, just because we send you some pocket change each month. At the end of the day, your creative proccess works. Better than nearly anyone's I know, if we are judging by what you have to show for it. Who can say that they have writen and developed several games AND written a fuckton of books within the last few years, like that? So as one of those who said "take a break" when 0.54 came out, I would like to change my statement to "Do what you feel is best"
DankPotatoes
"Why do people have emotional responses to criticism? Just don't have emotions, lmao"
JJS
Well said.
Dark Art
As my very first boss used to say - Who cares what THEY think? If you need something to brood about, go clean up the storage room :) You cant please everyone, just keep doing what you are doing, cuz you are doing great. Take your break, your dedication and productivity is outstanding so you definitely deserve it. And if you need something to brood about - go clean up the storage/basement/attic/garage/what have you :)
JJS
And there isn't a rush but I am curious about one thing. Do you plan to have your next TLS update before or after 2021? That's all I want to know.
Lamsey
Possible typo in the boval post: "... sometimes even if food could be obtained with difficulty" with -> without?
DuckTogo
It's absurd to claim that you aren't providing high quality updates fast enough. You have a large base on Patreon. I think you can relax and ignore the nay-sayers, instead of worrying about them. Though it would be nice to do so, you can't write stories for everyone. Just like you can't be friends with everyone. Have a nice break.
JJS
"The general tropes are good but the author should get rid of the rest of that garbage" comments like that really impacted your creativity in a negative way? Does that have such relevance? You shouldn't take stuff like that to heart. When you have people supporting you.
pokemorph
My best suggestion ignore all comments. Turn on all privacy settings and continue relaxation
