Chaos Doll
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Story: A Feminist Humbled
🕑 Added 2017-06-20 03:59:48 +0000 UTCBy Chaos Doll
Nicole sat scowling at her computer screen, the blog staring back at her was full of problematic sexual fetishes, men enjoying the submission of women, and men telling women not to engage in intellectually stimulating behavior, the misogyny of it all offended her on every level.
She fumed that this sort of sexist rhetoric was even allowed on the internet, this vile blogger dared to post these things without even filling his blog with trigger warnings! She scrolled for several minutes before she had finally had enough of it, she was going to message this guy and let him know just how dangerous and offensive his posts were.
She clicked to send the blog owner a direct message and took a final sip of her organic soy chai latte before beginning to type furiously into the small pink chat window that popped up.
Feminist4Ever88: Hello, I recently discovered your blog after one of your sexist and disturbing posts came up in my feed as ‘recommended’. I’m not even sure what caused the site to suggest your posts, I despise kinky men. I just want you to know that the things you post are highly offensive and you should be ashamed of yourself for encouraging patriarchal attitudes and other woman-hating behavior.
Nicole smiled to herself, the man behind the blog probably wouldn’t even bother responding, and they almost never did. She knew most of them were too intimidated by an opinionated and intelligent woman to ever dare respond, lest their antiquated viewed on gender and sexuality be destroyed. Her gender studies professor had taught her exactly how to put these types of men in their place.
She got up and walked to the kitchen to make another chai latte for herself, as she prepared the hot beverage she heard the chime of a message from her computer speakers in the next room. She raised an eyebrow, could it be? Did the misogynistic jerk actually reply? No, she shouldn’t get her hopes up; it was probably just a friend saying good morning.
She carried her drink back to her desk, taking a few sips as she sunk into the seat in front of her computer once more. She nearly spilled the hot liquid when her eyes fell upon the message awaiting her on the screen.
YourTrueNature: Hello little girl, I’m sure it felt good to send that message. You probably even thought it made you seem interesting and articulate. It was a good performance, but I know the truth.
Nicole scowled once more at the computer screen, feeling the blood rush to her head as rage began to boil within her. How dare him! How dare this undoubtedly white, heteronormative, cis male tell her how she felt! How dare he express opinions that belittle her emotional expression! He was everything wrong with the world and she was going to educate him to this fact.
She began to type back to him as indignation flooded her thoughts.
Feminist4Ever88: You will NOT infantilize me! I demand you apologize, I am not nor will I ever be your ‘little girl’!!!1!
YourTrueNature: I wouldn’t be so sure of that, sweetie.
Feminist4Ever88: Woman-hating misogynists like you really are disgusting; your kind should be exterminated from the planet!!
YourTrueNature: Interesting, so far the only one spewing forth hate is you. I am sitting here with a smile on my face. I love girls, especially attention starved girls just like you. You are quite desperate to impress me, aren’t you?
Nicole balled up her fists, this man was intensely infuriating, and he made her feel like punching something. She knew she should just close the window and walk away from the computer for a few minutes, but she felt compelled to reply once more.
Feminist4Ever88: You are pathetic, why would I ever want to impress a sexist pig like you?
YourTrueNature: It’s hard to say, why do girls do anything? Maybe you can’t control your emotions? Perhaps it’s a deep rooted need for approval? Are you one of those gothic girls with daddy issues to work through?
She fumed, growling and swearing to herself in the silence of her room. He was completely wrong, of course. She wasn’t overly emotional and she definitely wasn’t doing this just for attention. She was just about to type again when her train of thought was interrupted by another message.
YourTrueNature: I’m sure you can probably imagine yourself in a position where pleasing me is the only thought in your mind. Wouldn’t that be nice? I understand that it would take quite a lot of mental effort on your part; you are only a girl, after all.
Nicole was desperate to shut this guy down, put him in his place and spend the rest of her day feeling self-satisfied that she had educated yet another misogynist about the correctness of feminism… and yet her mind grew foggy, clouded by emotion every time she tried to type an intellectual response.
Feminist4Ever88: My god you are a frustrating one.
She finally typed with a deep sigh, his response coming quickly.
YourTrueNature: I am not your god, honey. But you’ll be addressing me with respect soon enough.
She wanted to yell at him, to scream at the top of her lungs. She had never met a man that so embodied everything she had been taught was wrong with the world. She had debated with scores of men over the internet before, but never had one so quickly and easily managed to get under her skin.
YourTrueNature: Still there, sweetie dum?
He asked after several minutes of silence, Nicole suddenly realizing she had gotten lost in thought.
Feminist4Ever88: Of course I am, look I didn’t mean to come across so angry but I need you to realize that your posts about girls “accepting the patriarchy” or “being dumb for fun” are quite harmful! You need to at least include trigger warnings!
YourTrueNature: That’s a good girl. See, you are already starting to relax with me.
He replied, completely ignoring her commentary on his blog.
Nicole shifted in her chair, trying to get more comfortable. She was still deeply offended by everything this man stood for and yet she felt her righteous anger slowly fading. She furrowed her brow and started to type but another message popped up before she even could get a word out.
YourTrueNature: I’m so glad you read those posts, I am confident you will learn the truth of them in time. For now, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself like a good girl?
She bit her lower lip, pondering his message for a moment. Did she really want to share anything with this creep? But he did seem genuinely curious and she didn’t want to come across as the rude one in this conversation.
Feminist4Ever88: What would you like to know? I’m 22, a typical liberal arts student, planning on a career in education. I write speculative fiction in my spare time.
YourTrueNature: Typical. Your word, not mine. I find that interesting, don’t you? Are you a typical student because you are a cliché or just because you get average grades? Are you failing a class, maybe?
Feminist4Ever: What? No that’s not what I meant…
Nicole tilted her head to the side, eyebrow raised.
That wasn’t what she meant, was it? Why did she even type that? Sure, she might be lagging behind a little bit in some of her classes, but this guy had no way of knowing that. Besides, it didn’t matter what he thought, she knew she was smarter than him.
YourTrueNature: Maybe you just lack the confidence to really excel in class, which can certainly be a problem for girls your age. It’s probably why you’re so eager for my approval.
She felt her certainty fall away as his words wormed their way into her mind and for the first time in a long while she felt herself questioning the world around her instead of thinking she had it all figured out.
Feminist4Ever88: Look okay… I’m sorry. I just felt really uncomfortable with all those posts on your blog celebrating the patriarchy, it’s gross.
YourTrueNature: Why is it gross? Is it because you don’t understand it? That’s certainly not a very enlightened point of view, honey.
Feminist4Ever88: Sorry... no, I mean…
Feminist4Ever88: Men like you think they can just do whatever they want and walk all over women, that’s the patriarchy and it’s... bad… right?
She folded her arms across her chest, squishing her perky breasts, pouting at the screen like a petulant child. Why was this guy being so mean to her? She was just repeating stuff she’d heard in gender studies. It must be the truth, right? Questions swirled around in her head as the last of her self-confidence drained away.
YourTrueNature: Tell me something, sweetie, do you work out?
Feminist4Ever88: Of course. Cardio 4 days a week minimum.
YourTrueNature: That seems excessive, why so often?
Feminist4Ever88: It’s not that often, I just want to stay in shape.
YourTrueNature: Tell me, when you go for your workouts, do you wear big baggy sweats?
Feminist4Ever88: No I usually wear yoga pants and a sports bra or else I feel gross.
YourTrueNature: Oh I see, so you’re worried more about your appearance, than you are about your health.
Feminist4Ever88: What? No! Well.. I guess.. a little, yeah..
YourTrueNature: Good girl, looking pretty is one of your most important priorities after all.
Feminist4Ever88: Well I mean it’s not like the highest one or anything…
YourTrueNature: Of course not, you have other ways to get the attention you crave, I’m sure.
YourTrueNature: Tell me, babe, do you shave your pussy?
Feminist4Ever88: Not that it’s any business of yours… but yes I do, pubic hair is gross.
YourTrueNature: There you go again saying something you don’t understand is gross. You really aren’t at all the open minded girl you pretend to be.
Feminist4Ever88: I dunno, it’s just.. ick..
YourTrueNature: Is it really gross or has that been the only thing you’ve ever known? 20 years ago it wasn’t all that uncommon for a woman to be sporting a “full bush” as we use to call it, but millennials like you have been surrounded by airbrushed magazines, overly filtered social media and entertainment directly marketed towards Men.
YourTrueNature: You think it’s gross because we wanted you to. We won. Now you are smooth and sexy, just the way we like you.
Nicole squirmed in her seat, she tried to think about what he was saying and what little she could understand in her mental fog did actually make a lot of sense, the deepest parts of her mind tried to argue that she could let her pubic hair grow if she really wanted to, but the more she thought about it, the more it grossed her out.
Feminist4Ever88: Okay, that’s an interesting point but still…
YourTrueNature: It’s not just a point, it’s the truth.
YourTrueNature: It’s proof that you already serve the patriarchy. You always have.
Feminist4Ever88: What do you mean?
YourTrueNature: You know that tight little outfit you wear during your workout, the apartment you live in, the computer you’re reading this on? You have all of those because Men designed them. Every TV show you watch and bit of porn you find yourself edging to? They teach you how to be entertainment… for Men. The reason you shave your pussy and never leave the house without makeup? That’s what I mean, that is the patriarchy you serve. Do you understand now?
Nicole squirmed once more, her hand snaking its way down her toned abs and into her panties, feeling the warm wet cunt between her legs. She couldn’t take it anymore, he was right. There was just something about him... she was sure she had meant to say something else but she just couldn’t think clearly. She needed to hear more, she needed Him to tell her the truth.
Feminist4Ever88: Yes, Sir.
