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Villain Simulator, Ch 603-607
🕑 Added 2025-07-20 16:48:59 +0000 UTCLucas jumped twice, but he still couldn't even reach their shoulders. For the first time in his life, he truly understood what it meant to "look up in despair."
Compared to the two "giants" before him, he looked like some goblin trying to hawk compressed towels on the roadside.
The anxious Hachishaku-sama began muttering again, "Bo... bo bo..."
"She’s got a point!" Hyakki-hime quickly translated. "She says—you can just grab a stool."
Simple, yet remarkably effective.
Lucas didn’t hesitate. He grabbed a stool and stepped on it. Amazingly, it was just the right height.
No time to waste. Lucas drew both his "weapons," one in each hand, and began his dual assault—front and back.
Shenhe and Hachishaku-sama stood like twin towering peaks, and Lucas… he was the lone fool trying to carve a tunnel through a mountain.
As the old verse goes:
Mountains tall like Wangwu and Taihang aligned,
The fool digs alone, no fear in his mind.
Venturing deep through the tiger's den,
Into caverns dark, no light within.
One palm stirs waves, two pickaxes ring,
Jade spring flows from cracks they bring.
At last, silver floods breach the wall,
Twin peaks quiver, ready to fall.
…
Let’s not get into the specifics of what went down between the two women and one man in that room.
Outside the room, the maid who had withdrawn earlier approached the door again, now carrying a tray of tea and snacks.
After all, the people inside were honored guests of the Guuji herself. Basic courtesy still mattered. She was just about to knock when her eyes caught a glimpse through the paper window—and her whole body froze.
Under the flickering candlelight, the shadows of two massive figures—both easily over two meters tall—swayed ominously across the paper screen. It was terrifying to behold.
The maid had never seen anything so strange in her life. Her hands trembled, and the tray nearly toppled, tea and pastries threatening to spill all over the floor.
But at that very moment, an invisible force gently caught each falling item and returned them to the tray. A soft, warm hand covered hers.
"Shh. Don’t make a sound."
The voice belonged to none other than Yae Miko. With a calm smile, she whispered, "Leave this to me. You can go now."
Her presence was a balm to the frightened maid’s nerves. If Lady Miko was here, surely everything would be fine. The maid nodded quickly and tiptoed away.
Yae Miko, meanwhile, glanced at the shifting shadows on the paper screen and smiled faintly. With a casual wave of her hand, the once opaque screen became transparent, allowing her a perfect view of what was happening inside.
Even someone as worldly as her was momentarily stunned by the chaotic and surreal scene.
Still, she quickly composed herself and murmured with a chuckle, "You really do manage to come up with the most outrageous tricks."
…
Half an hour later.
With one final thrust of astonishing strength, there was a sharp crack—“Pa-cha!”—and the wooden stool beneath Lucas shattered beneath him. But with quick reflexes, he landed safely on his feet.
Unfortunately, the two women didn’t fare as well. Having lost their balance, they wobbled dangerously.
If they’d been of normal height, a little tumble wouldn’t have mattered. But at well over two and a half meters tall, a fall could easily put two crater-sized dents in the floor. Lucas didn’t dare delay—he rushed forward and caught them both mid-fall.
It was thanks only to his incredible strength. If it had been anyone else, their arms might’ve snapped under the strain.
At the same time, the effect of [Eight Feet Tall Lady's Curse] wore off. Shenhe’s body instantly returned to normal size. The real Hachishaku-sama, meanwhile, sat on the ground, her face radiant with satisfaction.
After all these years, it was the first time she’d experienced what it was like to be a “woman” in every sense of the word.
Now, apart from her towering height—which still inspired a bit of instinctive fear—she seemed completely harmless. She was as docile as a… well, not a lamb, more like a big woolly sheep.
"Master..." Hyakki-hime reminded urgently, "Hurry up and seal the deal!"
"Right!"
Lucas reflexively did a little flourish as if flipping a Poké Ball—only to realize he didn’t have one. Bewildered, he asked, "Wait, how exactly do I seal the contract?"
"She just needs to tell you her name," Hyakki-hime explained. "For a yokai, their name is the most sacred thing. To speak it aloud is to surrender their life and death to someone else."
Otherwise, why would yokai in that other franchise go to war over a book full of names?
"So..."
Lucas stepped in front of Hachishaku-sama, held out his hand gently, and asked, "Can you tell me your name?"
For some reason, he felt like dramatic background music was playing—something like “Your Name”’s Zenzenzense.
But come to think of it, didn’t she… not know how to speak?
Before he could dwell on it, Hachishaku-sama extended her much larger hand and clasped his fingers. In a soft voice, she murmured, "Hachi…ko."
Hachiko?
Anyone who knew it was Hachishaku-sama’s name would nod in recognition.
Anyone who didn’t… might think it was Yae Miko’s nickname.
Of course, now wasn’t the time for jokes. Lucas nodded solemnly and said, "Hachiko, please… become my Shikigami."
A gentle smile bloomed on Hachishaku-sama’s face as she nodded.
In the next instant, her body transformed into a glowing stream of light, flowing directly into the Hyakki Yagyō scroll behind Hyakki-hime. The once-blank parchment was suddenly stained with ink. The ink darkened and thickened, as if an invisible brush were painting the scene.
The form that emerged was unmistakable: a tall woman in white robes and a white hat, with a soft smile on her face.
It was Hachishaku-sama.
What’s more, her image wasn’t static. She moved—alive within the endless scroll, which would now become her new home.
"Contract complete!"
Hyakki-hime threw her hands in the air excitedly. "As expected of Master! And just like that, we’ve added another piece to the Hyakki Yagyō puzzle. At this rate, we might hit 108 yokai in no time!"
"If we have to seal every yokai using this method…" Shenhe gave Lucas a sharp glance and said coldly, "Someone’s going to suffer."
She had a point. This particular “battle” was no joke. Driving two heavy-duty trucks at once had definitely taken a toll on Lucas.
His once full and healthy cheeks now looked noticeably sunken.
Just then, a light knock came from the door, followed by a slightly playful voice.
"Lucas~ I’m coming in~"
Of course, it was Yae Miko’s voice.
Before Lucas could say anything, Shenhe let out a cold snort.
"You’ve only been here a few days, and already some woman is calling you so intimately?"
"I’ll explain later," Lucas replied with a helpless smile. "Lady Miko, you may enter."
He snapped his fingers lightly, and the wooden bar locking the door snapped on its own. Yae Miko pushed the door open gracefully.
She already knew full well what had just happened in the room. But upon entering and seeing the two of them, she feigned surprise.
"Oh my, where did this gorgeous young lady come from? You really are swimming in luck with the ladies, huh?"
"It’s a long story," Lucas said, exasperated. "Anyway, let me introduce you. This is Shenhe, and this is Yae Miko—"
Before he could finish, Shenhe frowned.
"Brother-in-law, why does this woman have the same aura as that female yokai from earlier?"
It wasn’t surprising. Inazuman “yokai” were much like Liyue’s “adepti”—beings beyond human. There were bound to be some similarities. Though Hachishaku-sama wasn’t a kitsune, they were both classified as yokai, and that alone could explain the shared traits.
"Brother-in-law?" Yae Miko raised an eyebrow. "So… you’re already taken?"
"It’s complicated," Lucas sighed. He briefly explained the whole “fake marriage” with Ganyu back in Liyue.
"Basically, she calls me that out of habit now. No point trying to change it."
"Wait—your wife is Ganyu?" Yae Miko’s expression flickered with rare surprise. She murmured,
"To marry such an outstanding woman… I must say, I’m quite envious."
Though Miko had cultivated for five hundred years and was a powerful yokai in Inazuma, even she had to respectfully call someone like Ganyu, who had lived for over three millennia, “senior.”
And as for a comparison in power?
Let’s just say Yae Miko, wise as she was, had no desire whatsoever to make Ganyu an enemy.
At first, Shenhe hadn’t taken kindly to this fox-eared woman, but upon hearing her praise Ganyu, her attitude subtly softened. She nodded.
"Naturally. My senior, Ganyu, is one of the most beautiful women in all of Liyue."
"Of course," Yae Miko said, smiling fondly. "Back before the Sakoku Decree was enacted, I was the one who received her whenever she visited Inazuma. Her beauty truly was breathtaking."
Then, with that sly grin of hers, she added, "But if Ganyu ranks first, then you, Shenhe, must be a close second."
It was a compliment delivered with masterful subtlety.
Shenhe, still rather naïve and inexperienced, couldn’t help feeling pleased, even if she tried to keep a stern face. A faint blush colored her cheeks, and she muttered,
"Since you’re friends with Senior Ganyu, then… I suppose you can’t be all bad."
"But still…" Yae Miko narrowed her eyes mischievously. "If your marriage to Ganyu was only for show, then why is her junior sister so protective of you? Or… are you playing a long con? Pretending to marry the elder sister while secretly getting close to the younger one?"
Alright, now you’re quoting military tactics? What is this, The Art of Seduction by Inazuma’s own Gao Qiqiang?
Most women would be blushing furiously after such a tease, but Shenhe? Not even close. She nodded calmly.
"Both Senior Ganyu and I are already his. If he can’t treat us equally, neither of us will forgive him."
"Oh my," Yae Miko giggled behind her hand. "Two beauties so devoted to you, Lucas. Why didn’t you mention your wife earlier?"
Of course, Miko was being modest. Ganyu and Shenhe weren’t the only ones enamored with Lucas—far from it.
Lucas rubbed the back of his neck and shamelessly replied,
"You never asked?"
"No matter, no matter," Yae Miko said sweetly. "If you’ve married a second, what’s stopping you from marrying a third? Or a fourth…"
She glanced sideways at Shenhe and added with mock contrition,
"Ah, pardon me. How rude of me to say such things in front of a wife."
To her surprise, Shenhe didn’t seem offended at all. She replied coolly,
"If he has the ability, let him marry as many as he likes. The more, the merrier."
In a typical household, wives would naturally oppose their husband marrying more women. After all, one ox can only plow so many fields. If the land is too vast, the wife’s own “plot” might go untended.
But Shenhe wasn’t the average wife. First, Lucas was no ordinary ox—his strength was boundless. Even after tilling two enormous “fields” just now, he’d already recovered remarkably.
Second, Shenhe had full confidence in her own allure. No matter how vast the farmland, the ox would always plow hers first.
"Hey, I never said that!" Lucas quickly tried to defend himself. "Don’t put words in my mouth!"
"I think Shenhe makes a compelling point," Yae Miko said with a sparkle in her eye. "With a man this impressive, having a few more wives doesn’t seem unreasonable."
Shenhe, for all her purity, wasn’t dumb. She could tell there was something more in Yae Miko’s tone. Her expression turned guarded. She instinctively stepped in front of Lucas and narrowed her eyes.
"You… you’re not planning to sleep with him, are you?"
She was always blunt, never mincing words like other women. The question came out so directly that even Yae Miko froze, momentarily at a loss for words.
"What nonsense are you spouting?!" Lucas immediately grabbed Shenhe by the shoulder. "Lady Miko is the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine, second only to the Raiden Shogun herself in Inazuma! Don’t be rude."
But Yae Miko didn’t take offense. She simply smiled and murmured,
"I do wish to be under someone’s authority… though that person isn’t the Raiden Shogun."
"Then who—" Shenhe began, but paused. "You mean… under who?"
“Raiden Shogun is way too rigid. Working under her just isn't satisfying at all,” Yae Miko raised a brow at Lucas and smirked. “I just go with whoever makes things feel right.”
Shenhe, with her usual straightforward nature, didn’t catch the innuendo in her words, but Lucas was quick to change the subject. “Right… how about we talk about the Iwagumi group instead? You had me wait here—was it to bait them into finding me?”
Yae Miko gave a sly smile and feigned innocence. “I have no idea what you're talking about. Iwagumi group? That’s an underworld syndicate in Inazuma. Absolutely no relation to me.”
Lucas wasn’t fooled. She was obviously playing dumb, but since they were both sharp enough to understand the subtext, he didn’t push it further. As long as the “13th Head of the Iwagumi group” kept things under control, Yae Miko would likely turn a blind eye.
“In any case, I suppose that matter’s settled now.” Lucas let out a breath of relief. “Can you tell me what the next task is?”
“You really can't sit still for even a moment, can you?” Yae Miko chuckled. “It’s already this late—you may not be tired, but I am. Why don’t we head back to the Grand Narukami Shrine and talk about it tomorrow?”
“Back to the shrine? Now?” Lucas frowned. “By the time we climb back up the mountain, it'll probably be morning.”
“No worries.” Yae Miko smiled. “I actually have a Teleportation Waypoint set up right here in Inazuma City. It'll take us straight back.”
Just like in the game, this world also had devices called Teleportation Waypoints. The difference was that here, they were incredibly expensive to construct and could only be used by those with a Vision, so they weren’t exactly widespread.
If just anyone could use them freely, the entire logistics and commerce system of Teyvat would’ve been upended ages ago.
But for someone of Yae Miko’s status, it made perfect sense to have a dedicated waypoint to return to the Grand Narukami Shrine.
“Wait, seriously?” Lucas blinked in surprise. “Then why didn’t you use it the first time we went to the shrine?”
“Well, I didn’t know back then that you could harness elemental power,” Yae Miko teased. “Besides, weren’t you dragging along a little maid?”
“Maid?” Shenhe’s ears perked up at that word, and she frowned. “Why am I just now learning that you brought along a maid?”
She was, of course, referring to Raiden Mai—the bodyguard who usually stayed inside Lucas’s Serenitea Pot. Shenhe hadn’t met her before.
“Tsk, did I say too much again?” Yae Miko said, clearly enjoying the drama. “Don’t worry, she’s just his bodyguard.”
“Your strength is hardly a mystery to me.” Shenhe scoffed. “You need a bodyguard?”
“Alright, alright, it’s late. Let’s get some rest and discuss the rest tomorrow,” Yae Miko said calmly. “Once we’re back, I’ll have someone prepare a room for you, Shenhe.”
“There’s no need to trouble yourself.” Shenhe shook her head and pointed at Lucas. “I’ll just share a room with him.”
Yae Miko stifled a laugh.
Lucas’s charm really was something else. After just one round, she was already clinging to him like this? Was she planning to stay up all night?
Not that Yae would say that out loud. She simply smiled. “Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue. But this is a shrine, you know. It’s filled with young, innocent shrine maidens. If you two get too enthusiastic in the middle of the night and they hear… well, that might not go over too well.”
“Fine, fine, we’ll sleep separately,” Shenhe muttered, conceding. “But I want the room next to his.”
“Of course.” Yae Miko nodded. “The shrine may be short on many things, but rooms aren’t one of them. You can go wild however you want.”
……
After activating the Teleportation Waypoint, the three of them were instantly transported to the Grand Narukami Shrine. Well—“returned” might not be the right word for Shenhe, since this was her first time here.
As for Lucas and Shenhe, they didn’t say much. He was exhausted after his earlier exertions, and she hadn’t fully recovered her strength either. The moment they entered their rooms, they collapsed onto their beds and passed out.
Yae Miko, however, didn’t head to her own quarters.
She entered another room.
It belonged to none other than Kitsune Saiguu.
The woman in the fox mask quietly listened as Yae Miko recounted everything that had happened that day. But when she mentioned that Lucas already had two wives back in Liyue, even Kitsune Saiguu—normally the picture of composure—visibly trembled for a moment.
“What’s this?” Yae Miko immediately caught her reaction and grinned. “Jealous?”
“Not quite.” Kitsune Saiguu responded coolly. “He may be Harunosuke… yet also not Harunosuke. He has his own path to walk. If there’s anything to blame, it’s only that I entered his life too late.”
“The Kitsune Saiguu I know isn’t the type to lament fate,” Yae Miko said, shaking her head. “Since you’re already willing to share him with me, why not with others as well?”
“I never said I’d share with you,” Kitsune Saiguu huffed.
“How heartless!” Yae Miko put on a mock pout. “I’ve been running around all day trying to make your reunion happen—and now that I’ve helped you get a taste of the main course, you won’t even let me have a sip of the soup?”
“You win, alright?” Kitsune Saiguu sighed. “Your sharp tongue—honestly, where did you even learn that?”
“From you, of course,” Yae Miko giggled, covering her mouth. “Besides, Lucas’s wives in Liyue aren’t just anyone. Even you wouldn’t turn your nose up at them.”
Truth be told, given Kitsune Saiguu’s age and status, there probably weren’t many people in all of Liyue that she would genuinely consider worthy.
“What a joke.” Kitsune Saiguu raised an eyebrow. “Me? Acknowledging someone? What, did he marry the Geo Archon or one of the Five Adepti?”
Yae Miko had clearly anticipated Kitsune Saiguu’s reaction and casually said two words: “Ganyu.”
The moment that name was spoken, even someone as composed as Kitsune Saiguu couldn’t help but pause slightly. “Her?”
“You know Ganyu too, huh?” Yae Miko smiled. “No surprise there. Before I succeeded you as the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine, you were always the one hosting her. Even after your disappearance, she’d occasionally ask me about you.”
“If it’s her… I really can’t say anything,” Kitsune Saiguu shook her head, then gave a faint, self-deprecating smile. “No wonder that man’s been avoiding coming to Inazuma. With such a virtuous wife at home, of course he couldn’t tear himself away.”
“So, Lady Saiguu, the reason he won’t acknowledge his identity…” Yae Miko mused, “could it be because he already has a family?”
Truthfully, Kitsune Saiguu had already considered that possibility, but it had been difficult to say aloud. Now that Yae Miko voiced it for her, she simply gave a helpless nod.
“That might very well be the biggest reason,” Kitsune Saiguu said softly. “If it were any other woman, it might be easier to dismiss. But if it’s Ganyu… in terms of power or beauty, she’s no less than me. I…”
“Lady Saiguu!” Yae Miko suddenly placed her hands on the woman’s shoulders, her expression unusually serious. “That timid look doesn’t suit the you I know! And besides, do you really think that man is the type to judge based on appearances alone?”
If Lucas had overheard that line, he’d probably feel all sorts of complicated. To be fair, he wasn’t exactly a shallow man—but after arriving in Teyvat, the endless parade of stunning beauties had certainly raised his standards.
Kitsune Saiguu sighed. “Of course I know that. I just… I’m not sure if, after five hundred years, his feelings for me are still the same as they once were.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve already come up with a way to test him,” Yae Miko said, her lips curling into a mischievous smile. “Lady Saiguu, please head to the Purification Pool and take a ritual bath.”
“The Purification Pool?” Kitsune Saiguu blinked in confusion. “But I already bathed today…”
“I’m not telling you to get clean,” Yae Miko’s eyes narrowed slyly, like a fox plotting mischief. “Just soak in it for a while. Leave the rest to me.”
“But…”
Kitsune Saiguu still wanted to ask for clarification, but Yae Miko had already nudged her out the door. As fate would have it, just as she stepped into the hallway, someone was walking by.
“On night patrol?” Yae Miko asked.
The figure nodded and stepped closer. She had green hair and wore the garb of a shrine maiden—none other than Kuki Shinobu, who had been “disguised” as a shrine maiden to spy on the Grand Narukami Shrine.
Her mission, entrusted to her by the Kamisato Clan, was to keep tabs on Lucas and report his movements. But unexpectedly, Lucas had gone down the mountain with Yae Miko these past few days, leaving Kuki Shinobu with no choice but to maintain her cover and continue her role as a shrine maiden.
Still, her professional diligence hadn’t wavered. The moment she caught wind of their return to the shrine, she snuck out to investigate—only to be caught walking past Kitsune Saiguu’s room.
“Y-Yes.” Kuki Shinobu nodded, her expression calm. “It’s late, Guuji-sama hasn’t gone to rest yet?”
Yae Miko gave her a knowing, half-amused look that sent chills down Kuki Shinobu’s spine. She had no idea if her cover had just been blown.
“So much happened today… I suppose I’m just too restless to sleep.” Yae Miko pulled a small incense burner from her sleeve and handed it to her. “Since you’re here, could I trouble you to place this in Lucas’s room and light it?”
That strange incense again…
Kuki Shinobu had “suffered” from its effects once before, and instantly recognized it. Still, to avoid suspicion, she feigned ignorance. “This… what is it?”
“Just something to soothe the nerves,” Yae Miko said with a smile. “That young master Lucas has been running around with me these past few days. He’s exhausted. He needs something to help him rest properly.”
Yeah, like I believe that.
Kuki Shinobu silently grumbled, but took the incense burner and nodded. “A small matter. I’ll handle it.”
As Kuki Shinobu disappeared into the distance, Kitsune Saiguu murmured, “That girl… seems to be hiding something.”
“Don’t worry. She may not have come here with pure intentions,” Yae Miko shrugged, “but she’s not a bad kid. Besides, her sister still works at the shrine. I doubt she’d dare do anything too outrageous.”
Hearing that, Kitsune Saiguu couldn’t help but feel a bit sentimental.
Kitsune by nature tended to be mischievous, fond of playing tricks and stirring up drama. Truthfully, nine and a half out of ten kitsunes were born agents of chaos.
Kitsune Saiguu’s status as Inazuma’s ultimate heart-stealer was largely due to that trait. But unexpectedly, her successor Yae Miko seemed poised to surpass her in both cunning and flair.
Setting those two aside for now, Kuki Shinobu had already arrived quietly outside Lucas’s room with the incense burner in hand. Her footsteps were soundless, and Lucas, still recovering from the day’s… exertions, was sleeping like the dead. He didn’t notice a thing.
Kuki Shinobu was just about to light the incense when a thought struck her. She opened the lid, discreetly scooped out a portion of the herbs, and tucked them into a sachet on her person. Then she lit the remaining incense and, with utmost care, placed it through the window into Lucas’s room.
The incense, of course, was the same “Dream Incense” that Kitsune Saiguu had used before. It allowed the user to enter the dream of the one who inhaled the scent—and even shape that dreamscape.
…
“Mmm…”
Lucas felt his mind spinning in a hazy fog. When he groggily opened his eyes, he was stunned to find himself back at the Grand Narukami Shrine. Not far away stood the towering Sacred Sakura tree, its branches swaying gently in the breeze, scattering a cascade of cherry blossoms like a fragrant rain.
And amidst that floral downpour stood a silver-haired woman in a fox mask. She had an elegant figure, and a single pale-pink petal had landed atop one of her snowy fox ears.
“Kitsune Saiguu…?”
Lucas blinked in disbelief. Still in a daze, he instinctively stepped forward and reached out to her—but just as his fingers were about to touch her, she took a single step back.
