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The Art of Seduction: Avatar Edition
🕑 Added 2025-06-12 03:56:13 +0000 UTCAnother pathetic attempt at airbending meditation had ended with Korra face-first in the dirt. She spat out a mouthful of gravel and glared at the wooden training posts that had remained stubbornly motionless despite her best efforts.
"Remember, Korra," Tenzin's patient voice drifted across the courtyard, carrying that maddeningly calm tone he always used, "airbending is about feeling the flow of energy around you, not forcing it to bend to your will. You must open yourself to the spiritual—"
"Yeah, yeah, spiritual whatever," Korra interrupted, pushing herself up and brushing dirt from her training clothes with sharp, irritated movements. "Easy for you to say. You've been doing this since you could walk."
She'd mastered fire, earth, and water with relative ease—fire had felt like an extension of her own fierce spirit, earth had responded to her stubborn determination, and water had flowed as naturally as breathing.
But air? Air was like trying to grab smoke with her bare hands while blindfolded.
"Perhaps we should take a break," Tenzin suggested, his tone carefully neutral in that way that made her want to scream. "Sometimes stepping away from practice allows the mind to find clarity. We could try some meditation in the—"
"No more meditation!" Korra's voice cracked with frustration. "I've meditated until my butt went numb, I've breathed deeply so many times that my nose hurts! None of it works!"
She turned away from the training grounds, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. The city called to her from across the bay, its bustling energy and real problems so different from this serene temple that felt more like a gilded cage with each passing day.
"Korra, your impatience is precisely what blocks your connection to—"
"Save the lecture, Tenzin," she muttered, already stalking toward the temple's interior. "I'm done for today."
Twenty minutes later, Korra crept through the temple's outer gardens, moving as quietly as her naturally impatient nature would allow. The cliff edge beckoned ahead, promising freedom and escape from another day of spiritual lectures and meditation failures. She'd done this jump before—the water was deep enough, and her waterbending would handle the rest.
Just as she reached the precipice and prepared to leap, a small, too-familiar voice piped up behind her.
"Going somewhere interesting, Korra?"
Korra spun around, nearly losing her footing on the edge, to find Jinora sitting cross-legged on a nearby stone. The young airbender's brown eyes sparkled with mischief, and she held a thick book in her lap.
"Jinora!" Korra's felt her heart jump to her throat as she took a step back from the edge. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside reading about... I don't know, something about the spirit world or more history?"
"Oh, I was," Jinora replied with that innocent tone, closing her book with deliberate slowness. "But then I noticed how you always seem to need 'fresh air' right after failing training sessions. It's fascinating from an anthropological perspective—the Avatar's flight response to spiritual adversity."
Korra's shoulders sagged in defeat. Of course the smartest kid on the island would figure out. "Look, I just need to get out of here for a while, okay? I can't spend another second sitting in that stupid circle pretending to feel something or flow when all I feel is... frustrated and useless."
"Hmm." Jinora tapped her chin with exaggerated thoughtfulness, clearly enjoying having the upper hand. "I wonder what Dad would say if he knew the Avatar was sneaking off to Republic City instead of focusing on her essential airbending studies. He's been so worried about your progress lately."
The threat hit its mark. Korra could just imagine Tenzin's disappointed face, followed by another lecture about responsibility and the Avatar State. She dropped to her knees dramatically, clasping her hands together in mock desperation.
"Please, Jinora! I'm begging you here. Don't tell Tenzin. I'll do anything—clean your room, some extra training, I'll even sit through one of those long Air Nomad history lessons without complaining!"
Jinora's eyes lit up with opportunity, and her innocent expression didn't fool Korra for a second. "Anything?"
"Within reason," Korra added quickly, recognizing that cheeky look. She'd seen it before, and Ikki ended up doing Jinora’s chores for days.
"Well," Jinora began, her voice taking a different tone, "there's this fascinating new poetry anthology that just came out—'Whispers of the Spirit World' by Master Liu Wei. It's an in-depth analysis of spiritual symbolism in classical verse, with annotated footnotes about historical context. The bookstore in the arts district has the only copies in Republic City, and Dad says I'm too young to venture into the city alone." She paused, studying Korra's expression. "If you happened to acquire one during your... educational excursion..."
Korra groaned but nodded reluctantly. "Fine. One poetry book about dead spirits or whatever. But you didn't see me leave, and you definitely didn't see me jump off this cliff, got it?"
"See who leave?" Jinora asked with a perfect innocent tone, tilting her head.
With that she took a running leap off the cliff, her body cutting through the morning air before hitting the bay with a tremendous splash. The water felt like freedom itself as she swam toward the mainland, leaving behind another day of exercises.
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Republic City's harbor district buzzed with its usual energy as Korra pulled herself onto the weathered dock, waterbending the excess moisture from her clothes with quick, efficient movements. The familiar cacophony of street vendors hawking their wares, satomobiles honking through congested streets, and the general controlled chaos of city life immediately lifted her spirits.
This was real—messy, loud, and alive in ways that Air Temple Island could never be.
She wandered through the main thoroughfare, dodging delivery carts and taking in the colorful stalls where merchants from all four nations sold everything from Fire Nation spices to Earth Kingdom jewelry. A group of kids laughed as they shared some kind of fried street food, and for a moment, Korra felt a pang of longing.
When was the last time she'd just... hung out with people her own age without it being about Avatar duties or bending training?
Her wandering thoughts were interrupted when her attention was caught by a particularly gaudy book cover displayed prominently at a vendor's stall. The title, emblazoned in bright red letters across a backdrop of pink hearts, read: "The Lady's Guide to Winning Hearts: Foolproof Techniques for Modern Romance!"
Korra normally avoided books, but something about this one intrigued her. Maybe it was the confident proclamation of being "foolproof," or maybe it was just that dating seemed like such a normal, non-Avatar thing to worry about.
Either way, she found herself drawn to the stall.
The vendor, a thin man with an impressively waxed handlebar mustache and a smooth smile, noticed her interest immediately.
"Ah, you have excellent taste, young lady!" he exclaimed. "That particular volume has been absolutely flying off my shelves—can barely keep it in stock! One hundred percent success rate, guaranteed by the author herself!"
He tapped the bold print on the cover with one manicured finger, his eyes gleaming. "Just yesterday, a shy little thing from the Earth Kingdom bought this very book—sweet girl, wouldn't say boo to a goose—and by evening she had three handsome suitors competing for her attention! Had to practically beat them off with a stick!"
Korra raised an eyebrow skeptically. That sounded like the kind of story people told to sell things, but the vendor's confidence was strangely infectious.
"And normally," he continued, leaning in conspiratorially, "wisdom like this would cost you one hundred yuans—that's what they charge in the fancy districts uptown. But for an insightful customer like yourself, someone who has an eye for quality literature, I could part with it for just fifty-five. Consider it an investment in your romantic future!"
Fifty-five yuans? Korra thought, her hand instinctively moving to her pocket. That seemed too much for just a book.
But then again, it wasn’t going to bankrupt her.
"Does it actually work?" she asked, trying to sound casual while examining the book more closely. "I mean, how do you know it's not just... made-up nonsense?"
The vendor's mustache twitched. "My dear girl, I've been selling books in this city for fifteen years. You learn to spot the real deal from fakes pretty quickly. This author? She knows what she's talking about. Written three bestsellers, consulted for some of the most successful matchmakers in Ba Sing Se."
He gestured grandly at the book. "Besides, what's fifty-five yuans compared to finding true love? Or even just figuring out how to talk to that special someone?"
That last part hit a little too close to home. Korra thought about her awkward interactions with... well, pretty much everyone her age on the very first day. Maybe some advice wouldn't hurt.
"Alright," she said, fishing the coins from her pocket before she could change her mind. "But this better actually work, or else..."
"Oh, it will work, my dear," the vendor assured her, wrapping the book in brown paper before handing it to her. "Mark my words—by tonight, you'll have more romantic prospects than you'll know what to do with!"
As Korra walked away with her purchase tucked under her arm, she couldn't help but grin.
Now, she just had to find that poetry book for Jinora before heading back. Hopefully, the arts district would be easier to navigate than her potential love life.
An hour later, Korra found herself perched on a wooden bench in a small park near the arts district, completely absorbed in her new purchase. Jinora's poetry book sat safely in a bag beside her—she'd learned the hard way to handle the important stuff first before getting distracted. The romance guide, however, had proven to be unexpectedly fascinating.
"'Chapter Three: Reading Body Language Like a Pro,'" she mumbled aloud, completely oblivious to the curious glances from passersby. "'If he leans in when you speak, mirrors your posture, or touches his hair, these are clear signs of interest.' Huh. That actually makes sense."
She flipped through more pages, her eyebrows rising with each revelation. "'Never underestimate the power of strategic eye contact—three seconds of direct gaze, then look away with a small smile.' Why didn't I think of that before?"
The book was full of advice that seemed so obvious now that she was reading it. No wonder that vendor had called it a bestseller. This stuff was like... bending, but for conversations. There were actual techniques and strategies instead of just hoping for the best.
Korra was so engrossed in a chapter about "Creating Memorable First Impressions" that she almost missed the perfect opportunity walking past her bench. A guy about her age was strolling along the park path with what looked like a cat-owl perched contentedly on his shoulder.
He's... actually pretty cute, Korra thought, taking in his relaxed posture and the gentle way he occasionally reached up to scratch behind his pet's head.
She quickly buried her face back in the book, frantically skimming pages until she found the relevant section: "Chapter Seven: Pet-Based Conversation Starters."
"'Approach One: Introduce your own pet for instant common ground,'" she read under her breath. That was a no-go—Naga was back on the island, and even if she were here, her massive polar bear-dog would probably freak out the guy’s pet.
"'Approach Two: Compliment their pet while demonstrating knowledge about the species.'" Perfect.
Korra snapped the book shut, took a deep breath, and stood up with what she hoped was confident, casual energy. She strolled over to where the guy had paused to let his cat-owl investigate a flowering bush.
"Hey there!" she called out, perhaps a bit too loudly. "I couldn't help but notice your, uh..." She gestured dramatically at the tiny creature. "Your magnificent cat owl! Such a... majestic specimen of... feline-feathery excellence!"
The guy looked up, clearly startled by her enthusiastic proclamation. His pet tiny head swiveled to stare at her with bright, curious eyes.
"I bet you have to fight off admirers all the time," Korra continued, striking what she hoped was an alluring pose with one hand on her hip, "because nothing says 'sophisticated gentleman' like a man who can handle such an exotic and beautiful creature. Just like its owner!"
She punctuated this with an exaggerated wink.
The guy's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. While his pet tilted his head.
"I... uh..." he managed.
Korra realized she was staring at him expectantly and quickly glanced down at her book for the next step. "'Follow up with a personal connection to show genuine interest,'" she read quickly before looking back up.
But when she raised her head, the guy was already walking rapidly in the opposite direction, his pet clinging to his shoulder and looking back at her with those big eyes.
"Wait!" she called after him. "I haven't even told you about my polar bear-dog yet!"
Korra squinted at his retreating figure, then down at her book. In hindsight, she shouldn't have paused to check the instructions mid-conversation. Not attractive at all.
No matter. There were plenty of other opportunities in the park.
She spotted another potential target near the fountain—a guy feeding what looked like a small fish a bag of treats.
"Your fish has such... substantial fins," Korra announced as she approached, consulting her book quickly. "'Substantial' is a compliment, right?" she muttered to herself before continuing louder. "I bet you're really good with your hands to train such a… complex animal! Speaking of hands..."
She reached out and boldly grabbed his free hand, examining his palm with exaggerated intensity. "Yep, definitely skilled hands. Very... hand-like. I'm Korra, by the way, and I'm totally fascinated by your... everything."
The guy jerked his hand back, nearly dropping his treat bag in the water.
"I have to go," he stammered, backing away so quickly he almost tripped over his own feet.
"But I haven't told you about my incredible waterbending skills yet!" Korra called after him. "They're very impressive! Ask anyone!"
After the third guy practically sprinted away she slumped back onto her bench and glared at the book. Either it was completely wrong, or she was missing something crucial. The techniques seemed solid in theory, but every guy she'd approached had looked at her like she'd grown a second head.
Maybe the park wasn't the right place.
She needed to find somewhere with more people her age—somewhere with a more relaxed atmosphere where her new conversation skills would have a better chance to shine.
The question was: where exactly did normal teenagers hang out in Republic City?
Korra flipped through the book again, hoping to find answers there. Her finger stopped on a promising section: "Chapter Twelve: Advanced Hunting Grounds for the Modern Woman."
"'Bars and social establishments are prime territory for meeting eligible bachelors,'" she read aloud, ignoring the curious looks from others. "'The relaxed atmosphere and social lubricant of alcohol creates the perfect environment for meaningful connections.'"
She glanced around the park one more time noticing that some people were giving strange looks. Maybe the problem wasn't her technique—maybe it was the location. These guys were probably just too focused on their pets to appreciate quality flirting when they saw it. Besides, the book seemed pretty confident about this bar strategy, otherwise it wouldn’t spend an entire chapter explaining why the bar was the best option.
With renewed determination, she gathered her things and headed toward what the book promised would be much more fertile territory.
---------------------------------------------
Thirty minutes later, Korra stood outside a bustling tavern called "The Jasmine Dragon's Cousin", the romance guide clutched in her hands like a battle plan. The place looked friendly enough—lots of laughter spilling out onto the street, and she could see people around her age through the windows, clearly having some fun inside.
I don't need to drink anything, she reasoned, checking her reflection in the tavern's window. I'm just here to practice my new skills and maybe snag a boyfriend in the process. How hard can it be?
The interior was dimly lit and filled with the cheerful buzz of conversation mixed with the clinking of glasses. Paper lanterns cast warm, flickering light over wooden tables where groups of young people clustered together, and the air had a pleasant smell instead of strong alcohol.
Korra spotted her first target almost immediately—a guy with slicked-back hair standing alone at the bar, nursing what looked like a fancy cocktail with little paper umbrellas. Perfect. A loner meant no friends to judge her technique.
She consulted her book quickly, just to be sure. "'Chapter Fifteen: Making a Memorable Entrance.' Step one: commanding attention through confident body language."
Korra straightened her shoulders, tossed her hair back in what she hoped was a sultry manner, and sauntered over to the bar with exaggerated hip movements. When she reached the guy, she leaned against the wood surface in an elaborate pose, one elbow propped up to support her chin while her other hand rested on her hip.
"Hey there, handsome," she said, attempting a low, smoky voice, according to the book. "I couldn't help but notice you're drinking alone. That's a crime against nature—a gentleman like you should have someone to appreciate his... impeccable taste in beverages with… tiny umbrellas."
She punctuated this declaration by blowing him an exaggerated kiss, complete with a dramatic hand flourish that accidentally knocked over someone else's drink.
Her target blinked at her slowly, then looked around for a moment.
"I... have a girlfriend?" he said carefully, like he was talking to someone who might be dangerous.
"Uhhh..." Korra quickly flipped to the relevant chapter in her book, holding it low so he couldn't see the title. "'Taken men present a juicier challenge—their unavailability makes them more desirable prizes,'" she read under her breath before snapping the book shut.
"Even better!" she announced cheerfully, "I love a good challenge! Competition brings out my best qualities. Tell me, what does this mysterious girlfriend have that I don't? Besides the obvious advantage of already knowing you, which is totally fixable with a little quality time."
The guy's eyes widened, and he quickly gulped down his drink before fleeing toward the exit while muttering something about "should have stayed in Ba Sing Se."
Undeterred and interpreting his hasty retreat as evidence that she was getting closer to success, Korra moved on to her next target—a group of guys playing some kind of card game in a corner booth. They looked relaxed and friendly, laughing at each other's jokes. Group dynamics were probably more advanced, but she was feeling confident.
She approached with renewed swagger, striking a dramatic pose with both hands on her hips and her chest pushed out.
"Gentlemen!" she declared loudly enough to interrupt their game and cause several nearby tables to turn and stare. "I couldn't help but notice this table was lacking something very important—feminine charm and devastating beauty! Lucky for all of you, I'm here to fix that tragic situation!"
Without waiting for an invitation, she slid into the booth next to one of them, perhaps a bit too aggressively, causing him to nearly topple off his seat and spill cards all over the table.
"So," she continued, completely oblivious to their bewildered expressions, "which one of you wants to be the first to experience the full force of my personality? Fair warning—I'm probably too much woman for one man to handle, but I'm willing to let you try! Think of it as a learning experience!"
The guys exchanged increasingly bewildered glances.
One of them, a guy with a neat beard, cleared his throat awkwardly. "We're, uh, we're actually all here together. As in... together-together. It's date night."
"Perfect!" Korra exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "Group dynamics! The book mentioned something about that being advanced-level territory, but I'm a fast learner! I bet I could handle all of you!"
Why did somebody choke in his drink?
The entire table stood up in unison, gathering their cards and drinks with remarkable coordination, and relocated to the far side of the tavern as quickly as humanly possible, leaving Korra all alone once more.
"Okay, maybe I need to adjust my approach," she muttered, scratching her hair and consulting the book again while nibbling on a leftover dumpling. "'If initial contact doesn't yield results, increase the intensity of your signals to demonstrate serious romantic intent.'"
Her next attempt involved approaching a guy by the dartboard and immediately launching into what the book called "playful physical contact." She grabbed his dart-throwing arm mid-aim, causing his projectile to sail wildly off target and embed itself in a wooden beam.
"Wow, you've got such strong, accurate arms!" she declared, maintaining her grip on his biceps while he stared at her in shock. "I bet you're good at hitting all kinds of targets! Speaking of which, I'm a pretty good target myself—for romance, I mean! Want to practice your aim on my heart?"
When he tried to politely extract himself from the conversation, explaining that he was just trying to play darts with his coworkers, she doubled down by following him around the bar. She loudly praised his "mysterious brooding energy" and asked if he needed someone to "unlock his emotional potential" while demonstrating her own emotional availability through interpretive gestures.
He eventually escaped by climbing out a window, leaving his friends to collect his jacket and apologize to the bartender.
By her fifth failed attempt, even Korra was starting to question whether the book's advice was translating properly to real-world situations. Maybe Republic City guys were just... different from wherever this author had done her research.
That's when she spotted a new prospect—a guy with distinctive emerald eyes and messy black hair who was laughing with his friends near the back of the tavern. He had broad shoulders, an easy smile, and something about his relaxed demeanor made him seem more approachable than her previous targets. Plus, he hadn't seen her other attempts, so she was starting fresh.
"Okay," she whispered to herself, straightening her shoulders and checking her reflection in a nearby glass, "this time I'm going to be extra confident. No backing down, no second-guessing, no checking the book mid-conversation. Total commitment to the technique."
She marched over to his table with military precision and planted herself directly in front of him, striking her most dramatic pose yet—feet spread wide, hands on hips, chin raised confidently.
"Excuse me, green eyes," she announced, projecting her voice loud enough for half the tavern to hear, "but I couldn't help but notice you're sitting there being all... tall and broad-shouldered and generally appealing to the female gaze. I'm Korra, and I'm here to officially inform you that your search for the perfect woman is now over!"
The guy's friends immediately started snickering behind their drinks, but he just looked up at her with genuine confusion, his striking green eyes wide as he looked at her.
"I... what?" he managed, setting down his drink very slowly.
"You heard me!" Korra declared, emboldened by the fact that he hadn't immediately fled like the others. "I'm everything you never knew you wanted in a woman—strong, confident, incredibly talented in multiple areas, and modest to a fault! Plus, I can bend three out of four elements, which has got to count for something significant in the dating world!"
She leaned down and placed both hands firmly on the table, bringing her face much closer to his and inadvertently trapping him in the booth between her arms. "So what do you say, handsome? Ready to have your entire world turned completely upside down by a genuine, one-of-a-kind Avatar experience? I promise it'll be the adventure of a lifetime!"
The guy's mouth opened and closed several times like he was trying to form words. His friends were now laughing so hard that one of them was wiping tears from his eyes while another had started choking on his drink for some strange reason.
"Did... did you just say Avatar?" he asked weakly, his voice cracking slightly on the last word.
"That's absolutely right!" Korra straightened up proudly, completely missing the fact that his question sounded more horrified than impressed. "Master of the elements, bridge between the spirit and physical worlds, the whole cosmic responsibility package! But don't worry about all that heavy spiritual stuff—I'm surprisingly down-to-earth for someone with otherworldly duties! I barely meditate at all!"
She waited expectantly for his response, but he just continued staring at her like she'd suddenly sprouted wings and breathed fire. His friends were now practically falling out of their chairs with laughter, one of them actually sliding onto the floor in hysterics.
After a long, uncomfortable moment of silence during which Korra began to wonder if he'd somehow been struck deaf, her last target cleared his throat.
"I think... I think I need another drink. A much stronger drink..."
He stood up so abruptly that he knocked over his chair, then headed straight for the bar like his life depended on it.
"Was it something I said?" Korra called after him, but he was already lost among the other patrons.
She slumped into his abandoned chair and glared at her romance guide with growing suspicion. Either every single guy in Republic City was completely immune to her obviously amazing new romantic techniques, or this book was complete and utter garbage.
Given her track record so far, she was starting to lean toward the latter.
Korra's shoulders slumped as the reality of her spectacular failures finally sank in. The cheerful buzz of the tavern now felt mocking, and every laugh from the others seemed directed at her. She'd made a complete fool of herself in front of half the establishment, and for what? A book that clearly didn't know the first thing about actual romance.
"This is hopeless," she muttered, gathering her things with as much dignity as she could muster. "I can't even get a guy to stay in the same room as me, let alone date me."
As she headed toward the exit, shoulders hunched in defeat, a guy near the door stepped into her path. He had the kind of sleazy smile that immediately set her teeth on edge, and his eyes were already scanning her up and down in a way that made her skin crawl.
"Hey there, sweetheart," he said with obvious false charm, blocking her way. "Couldn't help but notice you striking out over there. How about you try your luck with a real man who knows how to appreciate—"
Korra's fist connected with his chin before he could finish the sentence. The punch was swift, precise, and fueled by an entire evening's worth of frustration. He dropped like a sack of potatoes, hitting the floor with a satisfying thud while everyone else scrambled out of the way.
"Not interested."
Nobody tried to stop her as she walked out.
A few blocks away, she found herself in a quieter residential area where the only sounds were distant satomobile engines and the occasional night bird. The frustration that had been building all evening finally boiled over as she pulled out the romance guide.
"'The Lady's Guide to Winning Hearts: Foolproof Techniques for Modern Romance!'" she read the cover aloud, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "More like 'The Lady's Guide to Making Yourself Look Like an Idiot!'"
With all the force she could muster, she hurled the book down the street, watching it tumble end over end before disappearing into the shadows between two buildings.
"Fifty-five yuans!" she shouted after it. "That swindling mustache-twirling con artist took my money—"
"Ow!"
A sharp yelp of pain followed by a pained groan cut through her rant. Her eyes widened as she realized she hit somebody by accident.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no," she muttered, rushing toward the source "Please don't be dead, please don't be dead..."
She found him sitting on the ground between two lamp posts, rubbing his head with one hand while scattered books, scrolls, and papers lay strewn around him. He was clearly a scholar type—long black hair tied back in a neat ponytail, wire-rimmed glasses, and wearing those simple robes.
"I am so, so sorry!" Korra dropped to her knees beside him, her hands together in a pleading gesture. "I was angry and I threw something and I didn't see you and I'm an idiot and please don't be seriously injured because I've already had the worst day imaginable!"
The scholar blinked at her through his crooked glasses, looking more confused than angry. "It's... it's quite alright," he said, adjusting his spectacles. "I should have been watching where I was walking instead of trying to read while walking."
"No, it's totally my fault," Korra insisted, immediately beginning to gather the scattered papers. "Let me help you with all this. It's the least I can do after brain-ing you with a flying book."
She didn’t want to be dragged back to the station after all.
They worked together in companionable silence, collecting scrolls about historical agricultural practices, thick tomes on ancient Earth Kingdom poetry, and several notebooks filled with meticulous handwriting. The scholar moved carefully but didn't seem hurt, which was a relief.
"I think that's everything," he said finally, straightening up and brushing dust off his robes. Then he bent down to pick up one last item—her stupid book, which had landed face-up with its gaudy cover gleaming under the streetlight.
"Oh, that's..." Korra started to snatch it away, but he was already examining it with academic interest.
"'The Lady's Guide to Winning Hearts,'" he read aloud, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Fascinating. I didn't realize this particular volume had made its way to Republic City. It was quite the bestseller back in Ba Sing Se."
Korra rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, it's complete garbage. I wasted fifty-five yuans on that piece of—"
"Actually," the scholar interrupted, looking genuinely surprised, "it's considered one of the better examples of its genre. Very clever satire, really. The way it parodies traditional romance guides while simultaneously critiquing societal expectations of courtship behavior is quite sophisticated."
"Could you repeat that?" Korra asked slowly, a horrible suspicion beginning to form in her mind.
"It's a parody book," he explained, still examining the cover. "Satirical literature, meant to be humorous rather than instructional. It was popular in Ba Sing Se and the Fire Nation islands precisely because of how it mocks the absurdity of those 'foolproof romance technique' books that actually take themselves seriously."
Korra blinked at him, then looked down at the book, then back at him. The pieces were slowly clicking together in her mind, forming a mortifying picture.
"You mean... jokes?"
"I'm afraid so. The techniques described there are intentionally ridiculous—they're designed to demonstrate how not to approach romantic situations." He paused, studying her expression transform. "Oh dear. You didn't actually try to use them as genuine advice, did you?"
Korra threw her head back and let out a long, anguished cry that echoed off the nearby buildings. "I'VE BEEN MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF ALL DAY! That sneaky jerk sold me a joke and I've been treating it like a dating manual!"
She had a sudden, vivid mental image of every guy she'd approached that day—their confused faces, their hasty retreats, their friends' laughter. No wonder they'd all looked at her like she was insane. She had been insane.
Intentionally, elaborately, expensively insane.
"I need to go back and punch that stupid mustache," she growled, her hands clenched into fists as some fire cracked. "Right after I find a nice deep hole to hide in for the rest of my life."
"If it makes you feel any better, you're not the first person to fall for that particular sales technique. I've heard of several tourists who bought copies thinking they were genuine advice manuals."
"That... actually makes me feel worse," Korra groaned. "At least tell me you have some actual advice about this whole dating thing, because my dignity couldn't possibly get any lower at this point."
The scholar's face brightened with scholarly enthusiasm. "Well, if you're genuinely interested in learning about healthy relationship dynamics, I'd be happy to help. The city library has an excellent collection of books on interpersonal communication and social psychology. Much more useful than satirical romance guides, I assure you."
Korra looked at him—really looked at him for the first time. He seemed nice enough, certainly smarter than she was, and he wasn't running away yet. Plus, he'd been remarkably understanding about the whole incident.
"You know what?" she said, her natural determination finally reasserting itself. "That actually sounds like a good idea."
"Excellent!" He beamed at her. "The library should still be open for another few hours. We could head over there now, if you'd like."
"Cool, it's a date," Korra said automatically, then paused as she realized what she'd just said as her cheek heated up. "I mean... not a date-date. Just a... study session. An educational experience. With books that aren't parodies."
"Yeah, yeah, I understood the first time," he replied with an amused smile.
As they walked toward the library together, Korra couldn't help but think that maybe—just maybe—this disaster of a day might not be a complete loss after all.
