Anon42
patreon
Status update, H-scene work
🕑 Added 2021-11-22 08:04:10 +0000 UTCHey everyone. Well, this week didn't go how I was hoping to say the least. I had forgotten that Puffernutter was leaving to visit her family for two weeks this week, so that's been a huge bummer for me - and unfortunately, the increased medication dosage doesn't seem to be doing much. When I'm not trying to work, I've been doing some more research on ADHD and medications, to try and figure out what's going on and what I can do about it.
By the sounds of it, I don't think this medication was ever actually helping, at least not in the way it was supposed to. It seems that early on when people start taking ritalin, because it's a stimulant, you'll often get a sense of happiness/euphoria while on it, but that feeling fades once your body adjusts to it. The more I think about it, I believe that's what I was feeling, and it would explain why it seemed so inconsistent. I remember feeling a mood boost at first, and it was easier to work thanks to generally feeling happier, but a lot of the effects ritalin is supposed to have on ADHD are things I didn't experience at all, like calmness and not needing to fidget all the time. Unfortunately, I can't see my doctor again until mid-December, so I'm going to continue taking the current medication in the meantime; I don't get anything negative from it, and I know addiction isn't a concern for me, so hopefully it can help me even a little bit until I can switch medications again.
The good news is that I've still only tried this one medication, and there are a bunch of different medications to treat ADHD, so there's no shortage of options. Since I started reading more about ADHD and other people's experience, I've seen tons of stories from people who felt nothing (or even negative effects) from one medication, but another one changed their life completely. Because of that, I'm not feeling too down about it.. my main concern is just that I'm still struggling to get work done consistently, and I feel terrible about it. I wish it was as easy as just forcing myself to do the work, but I've done that for so many years any time I was struggling during CPE development. It's a big part of what lead to my depression and burnout in the past, so I want to be really careful about it.
I mentioned a few updates ago that I was going to try and stream, and even though I haven't done that yet, I'm determined to do it at some point this week. Back before my mental health declined so harshly, streams were super helpful in keeping me consistent with my work without feeling drained; every time I stopped streaming for a while, it was hard to get myself back into it, but once I did it made things so much easier, so I want to force myself to do it at least once and see what happens.
Anyway, as far as this week goes, it was pretty busy around the house while getting ready for Puffernutter's trip. Orexius is still working on the Poison Alraune BE scene, and I didn't get too much done, but most of it was H-scene related. I implemented several more xray scenes (which also resulted in fixing some bugs I hadn't noticed yet), we finally started the process of the Edovex CG rework, and we also made the decision to have Orexius do full reworks of many of the game's early H-scenes. I mentioned recently that we were going to have him do touchups to those old animations, but after further consideration we're just going to redo them entirely (don't worry, they'll all be the same poses, just redrawn and reanimated). The early parts of the game are pretty much entirely my old animations, and even with touchups they just don't match up with the quality of the rest of the game. One of the big benefits of redoing them entirely is that we can raise the amount of frames in each loop; most of the early animations in CPE had 4 frames per loop, but the recent ones are usually 5 or 6, and they look much nicer because of it. Those reworks are obviously a lower priority than new content, but they're still pretty important since they're the game's first sex scenes, and a player's first impression for what they can look forward to.
And that's about all I have to talk about. Sorry it's such a small update, yet again. I want to be able to deliver you guys more content, but at the very least I will keep putting out updates weekly, even if it's just to let you all know that not a lot happened. I owe you guys that transparency, at least, after all the support you've given us.
Given that we're coming up on the end of the month in a little over a week, I want to remind you all that if you've been pledging at the $10 tier, you don't have to stay pledged to get the next demo, whenever it comes out - you'll still get the next demo as long as you've pledged at least once in the $10 tier during this demo's development, which has technically been going for over half a year now. There are no hard feelings whatsoever for unpledging when I'm not delivering content. To those of you who do choose to stay pledged to support us and not just for rewards, though, I can't possibly express my gratitude. You all are the reason I keep going, no matter how much my mental health tries to hold me back.
Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you at the stream this week - I'll make a post about it shortly before starting, and hopefully it can help get things back on track.
Comments
ADHD is definitely something that can be debilitating. I hope you can find something that works for you. The game can wait, I think you have one hell of a product already. I explored the whole map already. Can't wait for more areas to explore and the new animations you mentioned. Perhaps some new enemy types as well.
Stephen White
take your time. you're more important to us than the game itself.
Anon42
No worries, I'm not intentionally waiting or anything. My doctor has a very busy schedule - I have an appointment with them already, but it's not until mid-December. Unfortunately a lot of people are dealing with mental health crises right now because of everything that's happened since early-2020, so everyone I've seen has had limited availability
Anon42
No, there isn't. If the updates haven't been obvious enough, I'm still struggling with my mental health and trying to get my ADHD under control so I can start developing the game in a healthy way for once, unlike the past several years of running myself ragged and pushing through the constant depression and burnout. We'll be back to our every-other-month release schedule eventually, but in the meantime I'm doing the best I can without slowly killing myself. When it does come out, the update will likely be more substantial in the animation department since Orexius has been working without me all this time.
Speedyshamrock
so is there a ETA on the next playable update?
NakedSunFlower
Well, with regards to the change of medications for your depression, you are still right, there are many of them. The main thing is not to postpone the visit to the doctor. And really the idea of streaming is very good, think about it.
