Anon42
patreon
Status update - lots of good news!
🕑 Added 2022-04-30 07:03:17 +0000 UTCHey everyone, hope you're all having a good week! You might be wondering why I'm posting on a Friday night instead of the usual Saturday - the reason is because tomorrow is me and Puffernutter's wedding day! It's going to be a very small and casual thing, neither of us want to make it a big deal, but we've got the day booked and will be spending time with friends and loved ones, so I won't have time to make an update tomorrow.
To be upfront, I don't have much to talk about in terms of CPE progress. Orexius has continued his work on updating/improving H-scenes, as well as getting a few new gameplay animations done, like a unique animation for sliding down steep ramps instead of the makeshift animation we had for that before. For my part, I've been implementing those animations, and ruminating a lot over the game's plot as well as the remaining content. I haven't finished putting together an internal roadmap yet, things have been super busy between finishing up taxes, working on getting preapproval for a mortgage so we can buy a house, packing up for the move once we have a new place, getting wedding stuff sorted, having therapy and gym sessions regularly, taking bass lessons, and the list goes on. I really want to make CPE more of a priority, so hopefully things will calm down soon, once the wedding is over and all that. We're almost done with the preapproval process for a mortgage, so once that happens we'll be able to hit the ground running and get into a new house ASAP. The housing market here is moving crazy fast and houses are almost always sold within a day or two of being put up, plus we have a hard deadline, so we won't really have the luxury of waiting around for something "perfect". The good news is that there's tons of options within our budget, all thanks to you guys and your support, so I'm not too worried, and I'm sure we'll find a place in time that suits our current needs.
While CPE progress isn't the best right now, there is still plenty of good news! In general, life has been going very well despite all the busyness and stress. Taking up a new hobby, having weekly therapy, exercising regularly, and giving myself a longer break between weekly updates has all done wonders for my mental health, and I've been feeling really good lately, despite how much busier things have been. It's the first time in my adult life that I've felt like I can actually handle all of the stress without shutting down, and that's been a wildly empowering experience.
Work is unfortunately the thing that's suffering the most right now, and it's something I'm actively talking to my therapist about and trying to work out. I believe a lot of it is related to burnout from having a project go on for so long, but I have some strategies from him that I'm going to try and employ during this next work week, so I'm confident things will improve a lot soon - especially once the move is done, since that obviously has to come first right now.
So for some of that good news, let me talk about my heart for a minute here. I was finally able to see a cardiologist to talk about all of my heart test results, and the answer is the best possible outcome - my heart is completely, 100% healthy and fully functional, with no concerns whatsoever, I just have a really high heart rate - probably from a mixture of my struggles with anxiety and being out of shape. They've prescribed me a beta blocker, which has ALREADY started making a huge difference. It doesn't seem to be working 24/7 just yet, as I still see my heart rate on the high end often, but they can take 2 weeks to reach full effectiveness - and even still, I'm already seeing my resting heart rate at around 80bpm frequently, and a few times it's even been mid-60s! My resting heart rate used to frequently go over 100, so it's managed to shave 20-40 bpm from my heart rate almost overnight. I haven't even noticed any side effects yet, which they warned me some people have, like brain fog. So the only real problem with them right now is that it's not always keeping my heart rate down, but it probably just needs more time to build up in my system - and if not, there's also raising the dosage, or trying another type - there's TONS of them. With any luck, my heart rate problems are pretty much completely solved already. It should also have an affect on my anxiety, as well - as my cardiologist told me, heart rate and anxiety can basically create a feedback loop, where having a high heart rate causes you to be more anxious, and being more anxious causes your heart rate to rise, so it can be a hellish cycle to get out of.
Obviously, I couldn't be more thrilled about how my heart treatment is going. I was pretty terrified of the possibility of something more serious, especially with how little I've taken care of my body over the years, but all I need to do now is keep working on getting in shape so I can maintain my somehow-still-very-healthy heart. Because of the beta blocker and the lack of heart issues, as well as just generally getting a better handle on my life and my anxiety, I made the decision to start seeking ADHD medication again. I had an appointment about that today and will be starting on adderall again in a few days, since that seemed to be the most effective before. I don't remember if I ever shared the results of my neuropsych evaluation, but it was pretty much what I expected - my ADHD diagnosis was reconfirmed, and I got confirmation that I have depression and anxiety as well, but there was nothing else unexpected. Luckily, the anxiety and depression are being managed much better now than they have been for years, so now it's just figuring out the ADHD part so it doesn't interfere with my work so much.
Alright, I've rambled enough for one update. Thanks for taking the time to read it, and for continuing to support our team! Life may be stressful, but for the first time in a long time it feels like there's more good than bad happening for us, especially myself, and all of it is because of you guys. Your support, patience, and understanding is literally enabling all of this, and no words I could string together here can accurately portray how grateful I am to each and every one of you. There will probably be another few updates without too much game progress, so I completely understand if anyone needs to take a break from pledging to us while things are slow, but I can see the light at the end of this tunnel, and I can't wait to start returning the favor by making CPE the best game it can be. Have a great weekend everybody, see you again in the next update!
Comments
Nathan Phoenix
Grats to the happy occasion.
Dessinia Foxfire
Grats! I'm so happy to hear about your wedding. May is be a blessed one and here's to a long and prosperous life for you both. ❤️
