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[Cheat] Chapter 86: Other People’s Mushrooms Always Smell Better
🕑 Added 2025-05-03 10:13:11 +0000 UTCZephyr said, “Let’s go. First, let’s unlock the teleport points in Mondstadt.”
The first teleport point was located just above the plaza fountain—very close by. As they walked over, they noticed two people in black clothing and masks whispering to each other suspiciously.
Paimon asked curiously, “Fatui agents? What are they doing here?”
“Who knows? Not our problem,” Zephyr replied as they walked past.
Mikhail was saying, “Did you hear? About the archon of Liyue…”
The woman next to him, named Lyudmila, asked, “The Archon of Liyue? What bad news now?”
Zephyr paused for a moment. Has the story really progressed this far already?
Mikhail continued, “Let me tell you something, just between us. I heard one of the Liyue Qixing under the Archon of Liyue—someone named Keqing…”
“Mm-hmm? What about her?”
“She went to a little diner called Wanmin Restaurant, and apparently, she ate so much that she walked out clutching her stomach. Someone mistook her for being pregnant! I heard she was furious for days!”
“No way, seriously? Oh, oh! Did you hear about Ningguang? I heard she added another ten million Mora to her fortune!”
“Of course I heard! They say the combined wealth of everyone ranked second to tenth still doesn’t come close to how much Mora Ningguang has. Ugh, I’m so jealous!”
“Damn it, I’m so jealous!”
Paimon said, “...Paimon thought these two Fatui were plotting something shady, but they’re just gossiping?”
Zephyr was speechless too… though a little envious.
Why is my character Lumine and not Ningguang?
If he had started as Ningguang, he could’ve been the richest person in all of Teyvat from the get-go.
Lumine narrowed her eyes. “Were you just comparing me to Ningguang in your head?”
“N-no, absolutely not.” Zephyr didn’t dare admit it.
He quickly activated the teleport waypoint. With that done, they could now teleport freely. His action caught the attention of the two Fatui agents, who began whispering about something else entirely. Probably more gossip.
The second teleport point was further away—right at the top of the city’s clock tower.
Given the size of Mondstadt, it would take at least several dozen minutes to walk there.
Halfway there, Paimon was already exhausted. “Paimon is soooo tired. Player, can you carry me?”
“I’m the honorable player! Only you carry me—not the other way around.”
“You stingy jerk.”
Zephyr suddenly stopped. “Huh? There’s a mushroom here?”
He picked it and saw that it was a Philanemo Mushroom.
Paimon exclaimed, “Ooh, a Philanemo Mushroom!”
Zephyr said, “Didn’t expect it to still grow under rooftops. This has to be worth a good bit, right?”
Paimon said, “You might be disappointed. Even though Philanemo Mushrooms are used for ascension, they’re super common—one of the cheapest materials out there.”
“Ugh, I figured.”
“But Paimon did hear that these mushrooms are really tasty. We could pick a bunch and cook them for dinner!”
Paimon’s eyes lit up.
“Eating ascension materials, huh? That’s a first!”
Even though mushrooms were everywhere, the fact that they were used for ascension made them feel “precious” in-game. But eating them? That hadn’t occurred to Zephyr.
Leave it to Paimon…
Zephyr looked up and saw more mushrooms growing under the eaves. “Well, I can’t just leave treasure lying around. That would bother me.”
So, he leapt onto the wall and started climbing.
Lumine sighed helplessly. “Here we go again…”
“One… two… three…” Zephyr licked his lips. “I’m rich.”
“Mmm~ Philanemo Mushrooms aren’t worth much. It’s better to just eat them.”
“Even if they’re cheap, they’re still ascension materials! Besides, I’m not planning to sell them—I’m collecting them. I like it this way.”
“No way! That’s such a waste!”
After harvesting over a dozen mushrooms, Zephyr encountered something he never expected—something that had never even happened in the original game…
He was actually being watched by a crowd.
“That girl over there—what is she doing?”
“No idea.”
“Climbing like that in a skirt? So shameless!”
Lumine’s face instantly turned bright red. “Put me down! Put me down right now!”
Zephyr hadn’t expected something like this either. With no better option, he jumped down and ran away.
“Well, that was a miscalculation. Looks like we can’t pick mushrooms where there are too many people. Let’s head somewhere quieter.”
Lumine said, “Just don’t do something so stupid again. Didn’t Paimon already say those mushrooms aren’t worth much?”
“Do you think I’m doing this for money? You think I’m that kind of sleazy, filthy person? No! I am not that kind of man! I am a noble, enlightened, money-scorns-me philosopher! Do you think someone like me would do such things?”
“Then why are you picking mushrooms?”
“Because Paimon asked me to!”
“Eh?!”
“Paimon and I are spiritually bonded partners. Before I eat her tonight, don’t I have to make sure she’s full first?”
“Wait, that’s what you meant by spiritually bonded?!”
Paimon was horrified. The thought of being eaten by Zephyr made her panic. “No no no! Paimon doesn’t wanna be eaten!”
“Well, you’re already here.”
Zephyr climbed up again, happily harvesting another dozen mushrooms.
Just then, a girl poked her head out and shouted, “Hey! What are you doing on the wall of my house?!”
“Uh…”
Things escalated so quickly that Zephyr didn’t have time to react.
“Something’s not right—are you a thief?! Someone help, there’s a thi—”
Before she could finish, Zephyr panicked and jumped into her house, covering her mouth.
“Don’t scream!”
The girl’s face filled with fear.
Paimon quickly tried to explain, “Don’t be scared, we’re not bad people!”
Zephyr added, “Just in case, maybe we should tie her up with a rope—”
“Hey! That would definitely make us the bad guys!”
Lumine snapped, “Can you two not do your comedy routine at a time like this?!”
The girl looked like she was about to cry. “Oh great Barbatos, Anemo Archon, I think I’ve run into a mentally unstable thief… and some sort of mutated Hilichurl monster. Please save your faithful follower!”
“You’re the mentally unstable one!”
“And you’re the mutated Hilichurl!”
Terrified, the girl cried, “Please don’t eat me!”
A bead of sweat rolled down Zephyr’s forehead. “This is just a misunderstanding, okay? Look at me—do I look like a bad guy? I’m so handsome!”
The girl blinked and looked at Lumine’s cute face. “...You don’t look like bad people.”
Paimon muttered, “Ugh, what a shallow looks-obsessed person. And you have the nerve to say that out loud?”
Zephyr shrugged. “So yeah, it’s just a misunderstanding. I was just passing by and saw a few mushrooms, figured I’d pick them. No ill intent.”
“Really?”
“Yep, really.”
“Oh, I see…”
The girl sighed in relief. “In that case, I’ll give you some Philanemo Mushrooms.”
“So generous?”
“Well, they’re just mushrooms. My family often uses them for stir-fry. It’s no big deal to share some.”
Paimon exclaimed, “Stir-frying with ascension materials? That’s so extravagant!”
“It’s not a big deal. Even though Philanemo Mushrooms are technically ascension materials, they’re so common that they’re basically worthless.”
//END
