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[Cheat] Chapter 73: Return to Teyvat
🕑 Added 2025-04-20 15:32:12 +0000 UTC“Hey! If I’m checking the map myself, then what do I need you for? Aren’t you supposed to be my guide? You mean to tell me you don’t even know the way? What kind of guide is that? Might as well just eat you—at least then you'd be of some use.”
“W-Who says that! When it comes to being a guide, Paimon is super professional!”
The moment guiding was mentioned, Paimon perked right up. She floated into the air, looked around, and said, “Hmm… hmmm… ah! Paimon got it!”
Her eyes sparkled with confidence.
“This is Teyvat!”
“No kidding? Like I didn’t know that!?” Zephyr flicked her forehead.
“Ahh! That hurts!”
“So, do you actually know where we are or not!?”
“Ugh… Paimon think we’re in Windrise.”
“Alright, I’ll open the map and check. If you’re wrong, I’m gonna beat you up.”
He opened the map—and it was completely blank.
But judging from his experience playing the game, to be fair… this really did look like Windrise.
Zephyr sighed, “Alright, fine. Lucky guess.”
Paimon pouted, Guess? That was pure skill, thank you very much!”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
Zephyr looked at the map and said, “Well, we’re lucky. The Statue of The Seven isn’t far from here. Let’s head there first and unlock the teleport point.”
Once they activated the teleport point, not only would they no longer need to run all the way back here again, but the surrounding section of the map would also light up and no longer be shrouded in darkness.
Back in the game, even without unlocking parts of the map, you could usually guess where you were just by looking at the terrain if you’d played enough.
But now? The world had expanded many times over. Most of the time, if you didn’t zoom in on the map, you wouldn’t even know where you were.
Zephyr started walking toward the coordinates on the map.
“Paimon, keep an eye out along the way. See if you can find any Windwheel Asters.”
“Windwheel Asters?”
“Yeah, they’re ascension materials for Lumine.”
Paimon grumbled, “Why does a traveler who’s journeyed across countless worlds need Teyvat-specific materials to ascend?”
“That’s a great question. I’d like to know too. Lumine, any thoughts?”
Lumine tilted her head. “I’ve got no idea either.”
“Figures.”
Suddenly, they came across a strange, Y-shaped structure in the path.
“What’s this…?”
Zephyr paused, then realized—wasn’t this one of those puzzle mechanisms from the game?
He couldn’t remember its exact name, but he knew that if you channeled Pyro into it, a treasure chest would appear.
It was the second Y-shaped puzzle he had seen in the wild so far.
Unfortunately, Amber still wasn’t here this time either.
Paimon, on the other hand, was beaming with excitement.
“Traveler, we’re so lucky! Come on, let’s solve the puzzle together~”
“Can you not sound like an in-game NPC?”
“Hey, you blond loli! Go solve the puzzle for this great one! Everything that drops from the chest is MINE!”
Lumine’s eyes turned sharp with a dangerous glint. “Hmm?”
Paimon immediately panicked. “It’s yours! It’s all yours! Paimon don’t want anything…”
“But what’s the point anyway? Amber’s not here.”
Paimon sighed. “Yeah, and Paimon used up all her lighters. Looks like there’s nothing we can do. What a shame.”
Lumine grumbled, “We told you we were coming back. Couldn’t you have prepared a few extra lighters ahead of time?”
“Paimon forgot.”
Paimon crossed her arms in frustration.
“Quit mimicking me already!”
Paimon scratched her head—and suddenly, a lighter fell out of her pocket.
“…”
“I thought you said… you used them all up?”
Paimon immediately broke into a cold sweat. “Uh… um…”
“You weren’t planning to come back later and keep the loot for yourself, were you?”
“P-Paimon would never do that!”
But her eyes darted nervously.
“You totally were.”
“Paimon wasn’t.”
“You were.”
“Paimon was NOT! Paimon is a divine being! Paimon is not that petty! Paimon was just joking around! See? The lighter doesn’t even work!”
Zephyr twitched a little at the corner of his mouth, picked up the lighter—and yep, it was broken. He reached out and “squished” Paimon’s cheeks.
“I almost wish you weren’t joking. At least then the lighter would be usable.”
Paimon suffered the brutal squish attack, her cheeks getting stretched out painfully, and it took all her strength to escape his devilish hands.
“If you keep this up, Paimon gonna attack you!”
“Come on then.”
“You asked for it—PAIMON HEADBUTT! Ow!”
But Zephyr casually sidestepped with i-frames, and Paimon rammed herself straight into a dirt mound.
“Ahhh! It’s so dark and stuffy in here! Paimon can’t breathe! Paimon is gonna die!”
“If you can still talk, you’re not dying.”
Zephyr used his expert “pulling turnip” technique and yanked her out, brushing off the dirt.
“Why do you do this to yourself?”
“Uuugh…”
For a brief moment, it felt just like the very first time they’d entered the game.
Suddenly, Lumine’s eyes lit up. She pointed into the distance and said,
“Zephyr, look over there.”
Zephyr hurried over. When he got a closer look, he saw a few crooked stone pillars, and one of them had a torch embedded in it.
Lumine said, “That’s so strange. We’re in the middle of nowhere. Why would there be a torch here?”
Paimon said, “Saa~”
“You’ve been in Japan too long—you can’t even speak Teyvatian properly anymore?”
Zephyr tried to pull the torch out, but it didn’t budge. “No use, this torch is embedded into the stone pillar. It won’t come out.”
Paimon asked, “Then what do we do?”
“No worries,” Zephyr said. “I remember a trick from before—if someone is affected by Pyro and has a burning buff, getting close to the mechanism should activate it.”
Paimon perked up. “Really? Yay~ So… who’s the unlucky victim?”
Zephyr and Lumine both turned to look at Paimon.
“...Eh.”
“Brace yourself, brace yourself, brace yourself! Nooo, Paimon don’t want to be emergency food!”
“We’re not turning you into food,” Lumine said gently. “We just need you to get a little Pyro on you to activate the mechanism, that’s all.”
“Lies! LIES! This isn’t a game—it’s real life! If Paimon get set on fire, Paimon will be roasted on the spot!”
Seeing that Paimon was genuinely refusing, Zephyr gave up on the idea.
Lumine added, “Actually, now that I think about it, Paimon does have a point. This is real life, not a game. We can just light a stick and use that to trigger the mechanism.”
Zephyr exaggeratedly gasped. “Whoa, Lumine, that’s genius. I’m speechless. Why didn’t I think of something so simple earlier?”
Paimon huffed angrily. “Ugh! Keep pretending! You two were totally teaming up to send Paimon to her doom!”
Zephyr ignored her and picked up a branch, lit it, and walked back to the mechanism. He lightly tapped it.
The mechanism lit up instantly. With a bang, a treasure chest popped out from the ground.
Lumine’s eyes sparkled. “Let me see what’s inside.”
576 Mora.
Zephyr was practically in tears.
But Paimon was ecstatic. “Wowww! So much Mora! Let me see… 576 Mora… how much would that be in yen? Let’s see, let’s see… ugh, Paimon can’t even calculate it—sooo much yen! Hehehe!”
Lumine laughed. “That world has its own economy, and so does Teyvat. The value of money isn’t the same between the two.”
Obviously, Mora was way more valuable in the Jujutsu Kaisen world, since it was made of gold.
But in Teyvat, its value was lower. Still, 576 Mora was no small sum—roughly equivalent to a quarter of an average person’s monthly salary.
Then, in the distance, they noticed a little girl squatting under a tree.
“Huh? What’s a little girl doing over there?”
Paimon called out, “Hey, little one! What’s your name? Why are you out here all alone?”
//END
