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[Cheat] Chapter 107: Hu Tao (2)
🕑 Added 2025-06-20 03:29:10 +0000 UTC“Lumine… strange… why do I feel as if you have two souls? How unusual — this is the first time I’ve come across something like this.”
Paimon was shocked. “You… you can see that!?”
This was the first time during their entire journey that someone noticed there were two people within her!
“Wait… do you really have two souls?”
Zephyr was intrigued, asking, “How can you tell?”
“It’s quite simple. Our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor deals with death — naturally, we have a few special techniques.”
“That’s impressive! Currently, I’m Zephyr, and the other person is Lumine.”
“There really are two… yet… not quite.”
Hu Tao fell into deep thought.
Paimon said, “Let's put that aside for now… Is your Wangsheng Parlor really in that kind of business?”
“That’s correct!”
“B-but… aren’t you afraid? How did you come to do this kind of work?”
Hu Tao responded, “What kind of work? Death is death — it's a plain fact.
I believe life and death are two sides of the same coin. Life brings death, and death brings renewal. So there’s no need to avoid or fear it. Naturally, death isn’t something to be afraid of.”
“That’s… that makes a lot of sense… but Paimon think Paimon is still afraid.”
“That’s normal — ordinary people usually think that way.”
“Is your work tiring…? Paimon mean… you deal with the dead every day.”
Hu Tao shook her head and sighed, “Actually, it's not tiring at all — although I doubt you'd believe me.
Alas, to me, this work isn’t difficult or scary — it’s just troublesome. It’s a shame that outsiders don't appreciate this. Whenever we show up at night, they’re afraid… Oh, they just don't get it.”
“That… Paimon is really sorry… Paimon not a know-it-all.”
Zephyr asked, “What was up with that ghost we saw previously?”
“Hehe… Guess for yourself — was it a ghost, a soul, or something else?”
Paimon said, “Paimon is not guessing! And what’s up with the ghost fire?”
“That? Just as Zephyr said — someone died here.”
“That’s… that’s so scary.”
“Don’t be afraid — the person just died, and the body was just buried.”
“WHAT!?”
Paimon was shocked.
Zephyr was also taken aback. “What’s going on?”
Hu Tao fell into deep thought. “A few hours ago, I got lost on the mountains. While I was wandering, I stumbled upon a injured adventurer.
I asked him what happened, and he said their team was attacked by an Abyss Mage while they were clearing Hilichurls. They couldn’t hold their own, and everyone else was gone — he was the last one left.”
“Adventurer?”
Paimon exchanged glances with Zephyr. Was it Jack’s team?
“That’s right… Oh! He also asked me if I was an adventurer. He said there was a civilian stranded at Windrise — a person named Jack — and hoped I could rescue him.
But I didn’t know the way… So… I stayed true to the spirit of kindness and finished what I started — I buried them. See, the bodies are still warm.”
“That’s you who buried them!?”
Hehe… “Burying people… that's my expertise.”
“That’s not a compliment, you know!?”
Zephyr was exasperated — this was the first time he’d met a girl even he couldn’t handle.
“That Jack… you don’t need to worry. I already came across him and sent him back safely.”
“That’s a relief — at least I avoided a losing deal.”
Paimon was confused. “Shouldn’t you be delighted that someone’s alive instead of thinking about profits!?”
“What’s so strange about it? We’re a business. Providing funeral services involves a fee.
Today, I already buried that adventurer for free — I’m worn out — and I didn’t get a single Mora. So if I can avoid adding another, it’s for the best.”
“That’s so heartless.”
“It’s not heartless — it’s understanding life and death. Everyone’s fate is predetermined. Whenever adventurers destroy Hilichurls, they must be prepared to be destroyed in return.”
“Uh.”
“It looks like you still don’t get it. Oh well — with your rosy cheeks, healthy skin, you’re precisely the kind we least appreciate at Wangsheng Parlor.
But recently, we’ve opened a new service — you can reserve ceremonies decades in advance. Want to give it a try?”
“No!!”
Lumine’s eyebrows twitched. “Are you from Liyue? Why did you come to Mondstadt?”
“That’s because the Wangsheng Parlor’s business has been bottlenecked recently, so I’m looking to grow. I’m thinking about opening a branch in Mondstadt.”
“That… oh, great.”
Zephyr already could picture the chaos this little girl would bring to Mondstadt.
“That’s not all. There’s a second reason.”
Hu Tao’s cheeks turned faintly red. “I heard that Mondstadt is a city of freedom — a city of the wind — with the greatest number of bards in Teyvat.
And as a side occupation… I’m a poet. So I wanted to come and compare myself to them.”
“WHAT? You? A bard?” (x3)
“That’s right! Look — the skies are clear, the sea is vast, the full moon hangs high…
Such a moment — perfect for composing a poem!”
Paimon was dumbfounded. “Hey, we haven’t even started yet.”
“Tianshou Ningguang, rich and powerful; beautiful eyes, charming; a rosy face outshining apricot; perceptive and sharp — a perfect blend from eyes to ears — a master in everything.”
“That’s pretty well-structured… but why does it feel so strange?”
Hu Tao cleared her throat. “Ahem… please forgive me for this. I was looking up at the clear sky and the full moon, thinking of an old friend, and composed this poem in her honor.”
Zephyr said, “You really know how to write poetry? Let me give you a topic — can you compose a poem on it?”
“Sure, no problem.”
Zephyr fell into deep thought and then made his decision. “Let's go with Paimon’s tastiness as the topic.”
“That’s a big problem! Why Paimon’s tastiness?!!” Paimon vigorously protested, lightly beating his chest with his tiny fists.
All for naught.
Hu Tao fell into deep thought for a moment and then began to recite:
“Different sects with the same origin, clouds heavy with mist, openly shared by kindred spirits — tasting their own downfall.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? What’s it got to do with Paimon’s tastiness?”
“Read the last character of each sentence together.”
Zephyr connected them: “Paimon… is… tasty. How wonderful, how wonderful.”
(T/N: OK, That was from Chinese, Just accept it.)
Paimon retorted, “Not wonderful at all! Why would you use this as your topic! And adding ‘own-downfall’ to it… it’s a mess!”
“That’s a matter of opinion. The poem’s theme is Paimon’s tastiness, but I’ve never tasted Paimon myself, so I can’t know for sure what Paimon tastes like.
Judging by your complaints, your flesh might not be that tender — which is, you know, kind of a downfall in itself.”
Zephyr clapped, “Wonderful, wonderful.”
Paimon grew anxious. “What's wonderful about it! Is this even a poem? Are you really a bard?”
“Hey, I never said I was a bard.”
“Then what kind of poet are you?”
“I’m a Liyue back-alley dark comic poet!”
“What’s that supposed to be?!!”
Zephyr clapped. “Wonderful, wonderful.”
Paimon’s eyebrow twitched. “Traveler, is there anything else you know how to say?”
Hu Tao said, “Whoa, you’re a Traveler too? Just like me! Where have you been?”
Through this poem, Zephyr had already recognized Hu Tao. Coupled with the fact that Hu Tao had a Vision, he was already thinking about how to win this little girl over.
“Want to know? Let’s make something clear first — I’m not your ordinary Traveler. I’m a Traveler who crosses worlds.”
“A world-crossing Traveler?”
Hu Tao’s eyes glimmered with curiosity.
Then, Zephyr recounted the stories of Lumine and the Player, and the tale of Teyvat alongside the world of Jujutsu Kaisen.
Hu Tao listened attentively, frequently exclaiming in awe.
Aw, how cute!
Zephyr was not casually sharing these stories; he was trying to win over Hu Tao to his team.
Whether he successfully recruited her or not, it wouldn’t matter much — she wouldn’t tell anyone.
And even if she did, nobody would believe it anyway.
…
“That’s incredible.”
Hu Tao blinked, looking eager for more.
“That’s really impressive.”
Paimon was proud. “Heh, of course it is.”
“Little buddy, I’m not talking about you. All you do in the other worlds is eat! You’re completely useless.”
Paimon blushed. “Who… who says that! Paimon is a professional comic sidekick!!”
“Wait… that's your job?”
“...”
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew in.
“Whoa! So windy! Oh, my hat!!”
Hu Tao rushed forward and grabbed her hat.
“That scared me! I almost lost it — this is my most treasured hat!”
Zephyr said, “It’s just a hat.”
“To you, it might be just a hat. But to me, it holds a deep significance.
Let me tell you its story, now that you’ve been kind enough to share yours with me.
This hat was passed down to me by the 75th generation of hall masters — that is, my grandfather.”
“The 75th generation?”
“Yes. The 75th was my grandfather — he was a big man, at least two sizes larger than me. So I put a lot of thought into tailoring this hat to fit me. This hat is a peace-bringer, a righteous artifact to destroy demons and destroy evil spirits.”
“What a ridiculous name...”
It’s clear that Hu Tao’s naming ability isn’t much better than that of Fourth Hokage Namikaze Minato — in fact, it might be even less stylish.
At least his names were somewhat cool — this “Peace-bringer Hat” sounds awful.
“What about your grandfather? Are you opening a branch in Mondstadt without his worries?”
“That… my grandfather… has passed away. I’m the 77th generation.
The first thing I dealt with after becoming the 77th Hall Master was organizing his funeral — isn’t it a surprise? Oh… time really flies when you’re busy with this kind of work.”
//END
