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Quaranteam: Phil's Tale - Ch. 20

🕑 Added 2024-04-26 05:08:32 +0000 UTC

Comments

Gary Coleman

So, something I noticed (that hasn't been commented on yet, at least here). Was Phil infected by the Indigo Variant at that clandestine meeting that took place with the Greerson contact? Because she coughed and some mucus got on him, and then a few hours later, he seemed to be getting sick (and that's when he was thinking he heard the nanobots speaking to him).

Cynthia Parker

Please keep writing this I really want to find out what the nanites are up to and how Phil deals with it without freaking out

Jeeva

Ha! Echoes of Blood Music - hopefully New Eden doesn't end the same way.

Corrupting Power

Weird. Last couple of words got cut off. Has been fixed.

J N

Am I the only one who noticed that the last sentence of this chapter is cut off and not a complete sentence?

James Pratt

Damn, Dave! You finally got me to respond here, rather than a DM to CP! I tend to agree with you, mostly, the exception being the chapter 14 warning - that one, I thought was being responsible. Some of those DMs were about what happens, here, BTW. There HAS been some foreshadowing, but it's been very subtle.

Dave

This is a fun plot twist at the end, and I think if I were to read back there’s been some dramatic foreshadowing of this for a little bit now. I wonder how soon this wrinkle will start to appear in some of the other stories or if it’s strictly a function of team size. I do have one piece of constructive criticism. While I might be in the minority here, I can’t stand spoilers when something hasn’t even been published yet. To be direct; I don’t want to know ahead of time that something dramatic is going to happen in the next QT Book 2 chapter. Let me please come across it on my own. When you telegraph it, you eviscerate a large part of the intended emotional impact and (in my opinion) weaken your own cause. I see this technique used a lot within the context of a story itself (it’s a favorite plot device of Stephen King in particular) but there’s a huge difference between playing that card within the story and spoiling it for the reader before they enter the tacit agreement between author and reader within the work itself. Please, please, please….give it some thought! I think your excellent storytelling would benefit further from the discontinuation of this particular practice. If you decide to continue as is, is it possible to then take the appeal directly to the nanobots? After all, they’re obviously taking control…..

Ian B

Wholly crap. This is some scary crap. Wow

Paulo Gerardo Paculdo

The Nanobots are evolving to a hivemind AI. Interesting times they're living in.

Stephen

14:30 on Nov 18 or 14:00? I think the 14:00 reference is of by 30 minutes

lostone2

At the end, it seems to me that there are a missing word: "for a long *time.*"

Kaywye

What...the...ever-loving...FUCK?! Have all the nano-bots in a team come together to forn a SENTIENT AI?! Holy fucking shit.

Gregg Hagerty

Second sentence when Phil is describing removing a dead man's semen, instead of "fa hospital" should it be "a hospital?"

Gregg Hagerty

In the paragraph describing the team tiers, "statistical" may be the word to be used rather than "statical."


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