Corrupting Power
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Weekly Update - 4/23/25
🕑 Added 2025-04-26 02:24:37 +0000 UTCI hate when this happens. I know it's my own brain playing tricks and self-doubt on me, but I'm just like every other creative and I'm not immune to it - that sense of Imposter Syndrome, that you're actually bad at your craft, and you've somehow just been fooling everyone the whole time. I even avoided doing this weekly update because I felt so bad about being unable to produce. It's like being in bed with an incredibly gorgeous woman and being stuck limp as a wet noodle. Ugh.
Writing slowed to an utter crawl this week, because every time I got 500-1000 words onto a page, I'd look at it and go "This is utter shit. I hate all of this." I know it probably wasn't as bad as all that, but at the time, it certainly felt that way at the time.
I spent a lot of time being angry at a keyboard, but I know in my mind this is just a phase, and it'll pass, and some day, probably in the next couple of days, I'm going to get up, sit down at the laptop, and thousands of words are just going to tumble out of my head.
Until then, I appreciate the patience. I ended up doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work this week, reviewing stuff for other people, and talking with my guy about possible cover artwork, although I still need to write actual proposals for him to work off of. And turning on the news has become a form of self-harm, I think. Every time I look and see what's happening in the world, I get angry or depressed. Layoffs are seeming to hit quite a lot of people I know, and I don't really have much in the way to offer them beyond, "I hope it gets better soon." And, get this, my stock broker called me up and begged me to just not look at my investment accounts at least until autumn. "It'll pass, and the value will come back," he told me. "You're not as broke as you look on paper."
Ain't that a sentence everybody loves hearing...
Hopefully those of you who are big Quaranteam fans have noticed a lot of the other writers playing around in the space, I spent a lot of time reading and approving copy over the last week, and I want to welcome S Bradshaw to the collection of published QT writers. They came to me a while back with an impressive pitch and lot of good ideas and y'all are in for a hell of a ride. Plus lots of other people have got new chapters coming as well.
I just fixed the last chapter of Neon Stonehenge so if you got two email notifications about it, it's because apparently I forgot I'd moved the container, and so part of the last chapter was taking place where it shouldn't have been. I swear I thought I fixed that between Alpha and release, but apparently not, because I just redid all that work. Whatever. It's fixed now. And I posted revised versions of both PDFS as well. There will be a print version of NS hopefully before the end of the year. I need to do a cleanup pass on it, write an Author's Note that explains exactly how layered deep the joke goes, and get the framing done, as well as get the cover. I probably should figure out some kind of cool logo/font treatment for The Druid Gunslinger Legends. Yet another thing to throttle my brain with.
I've also posted the first chapter of Have Totem, Will Travel for alpha readers, and that's the second of the Druid Gunslinger books I'm writing. It'll definitely feature quite a bit more of Charlotte, and a lot less of San Francisco. When I sort of started concepting them, I knew Book Two was going to be 'the road book,' so a lot of time would be spent traveling and in transit. You'll see.
I'm behind on... everything, but I'm going to do what I can to get through it and try and get back onto some kind of schedule. I know I keep saying it, and I'm frustrated in my own inability to get over the current hurdle, but I'm also too crazy to stop digging now that I've got this sweet hole to hang out in. (That's gallows humor, for those who worry I'm getting too bleak.)
Here's the upcoming public schedule for the next month or so. I forgot to send stuff last week, and that's on me too: 4/26 - QT2:30, CARP 11; 5/3 - Pack 14, QT2:i6; 5/10 - QT2:31; 5/17 - BTS 14.
Comments
Edward Becerra
An author over on A03 used the phrase "It's like dying of thirst while watching another man drown."
Stephen
With hindsight, it occurs to me that the above may have been a little rant-y. I apologise for the tone but not the sentiment.
J.D.
I have always been amazed at not just the quantity of work you create and the varied topics, characters and storylines but also the impressive quality of that work. You don’t just throw something out there just to pad your numbers and to be able to point and say “hey, you got a story this week” but you spend the time and effort to make sure everything is a damn fine piece of work. I never had the talent to be an author and I totally don’t have the patience which makes what you do even that much more impressive not to mention you manage to inspire others to want to add to your work by creating their own storylines and characters which I can only imagine how proud that should make you to be able to influence others and help them create something that has been a surprising addition to your QT world which also attempts to follow your quality standards. As someone stated earlier “If it weren’t for your work, we wouldn’t be here and neither would all the other creators of QT content” so thanks for all you do, it is appreciated.
Stephen
This may not help but... "It's like being in bed with an incredibly gorgeous woman and being stuck limp as a wet noodle" The flaw with both this example and your self-assessment is that it assumes there only one possible solution: yes / no, pass / fail. Personally, I blame Yoda. The whole "Do or do not; there is no try" sounds deeply mystic but it's complete bullshit. Did your brain vomit out 10k words? No. Did it do meaningful work that advanced both your stories and, more importantly, aided others? YES! That's the measure of success, and by that measure you crush it week in and week out. Print this and tape it beside your monitor if it helps: "CP is a mother-fucking bad-ass legend of a writer!" - signed his Patreon fans
