Patrefans
XelofBloom from patreon
XelofBloom patreon

4.2

🕑 Added 2021-01-25 04:24:42 +0000 UTC

Comments

Adam Roundfield

She killed the noble kid, therefore something was going to happen eventually regardless. That takes total stealth and isolation off the table. She had to do something more than passive evasion and this was as good an option as any.

Gabriel

Personally I think this is fine as is, it's simply the closest town inside the forest; this could be fixed possibly by adding a paragraph about how it was easy to pick a target as they didn't have strict requirements and there weren't many towns in the forest close to them. Though I think her moving away from her brothers advice seems pretty dumb from the main characters perspective for a few different reasons I could get into, her having moral problems with the good advice her brother gives is less believable than it just need to happen this way for plot reasons. Like this is a legit really messed up world where you can super, duper easily end up in a position that is much worse than death and basically the "best" people she's run into are amoral wolves. The advice of don't be known don't make yourself known, hide in deep in the forest should be priority 1, not pissing off things in the forest your trying to hide in before even being in the new world for a year. Like there are things in this world that have most likely been alive for thousands of years and there is good reason for everything, even the wolves to kill her; but is she's not following basic advice for the situation.

Mr. Bigglesworth

Edited to show travel!

Alexandra

No problem! Thanks for thinking about my suggestion

Mr. Bigglesworth

Ok, I'll write a chapter for travel. It might take me a bit to get the thoughts down. Once I finish, this will become 4.3, and that one will be 4.2! Thank you for helping me straighten this out to be smoother! Or I might lengthen this one. Unsure.

Alexandra

I would say yes or at least some mention of how it was found. Otherwise its just confusing as to how we got to the town

Mr. Bigglesworth

Do you think it would be better to have another chapter before this one explaining arriving to case the town?

Alexandra

It's a good chapter but feels oddly disconnected from the previous chapters. I feel like I missed a chapter in way with the sudden shift from thinking about capturing a dungeon to already having cased a town and started the assault


More Creators