XelofBloom
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5.1c
🕑 Added 2021-02-27 03:48:34 +0000 UTCAndrew said nervously, “Head Accountant Markus, the numbers do not lie. Glenwood has met their quota for the entire year without even the slightest loss. There is something wrong in that town!” As a new clerk at the Death and Taxes section of the Serpent Empire’s bureaucracy, he still was too junior to launch an investigation without informing his superior.
“Andrew, are you perhaps…insane?” Markus, head accountant for the area which coincided with his fixation, asked. The older accountant shook his head sadly from behind his imposing desk, saying, “It is ok to admit that you might be suffering from number fatigue. Many clerks see things in numbers that do not actually exist. Why I’ve witnessed a man screaming that twenty-three was a secret number linked to demon summoning before. We have healers of the mind on hand for just such problems.”
“I’m not crazy, sir. Glenwood hasn’t met their quota correctly for three straight decades! There is absolutely no way they suddenly came up with the hard currency to make their taxes for the year and all the previous backlog!” Andrew said, his eyes shining with the light of fanaticism. His scales shifted to a brighter hue along with his voice.
Markus sighed before he straightened up in his chair before leaning his thick arms forward on the desk while interlinking his hands and saying, “Andrew. I knew your father. It is one of the reasons you got this job. I need you to understand if you go chasing this issue and come back with nothing, that’s the end. If you discover a noble secretly setting up a relaxing place to visit his favorite harem of fuck toys, I won’t be able to protect you. That’s assuming we even find a body.” The older Serpent’s scales were dulled, but that only gave them a more solid presence.
Andrew’s face seemed to struggle before he gripped the arms of his chair and slumped, “I swear there is something wrong, sir. The numbers don’t lie. I have to be sure, otherwise…”
Rubbing a palm across his forehead to massage a plethora of wrinkled scales, Markus said, “Fine. If you are adamant about this, I am required to allow an investigation of the village. Never let it be said I gave cause for my employees to think I’m hiding something. I’ll be frank, though. Small villages do not take kindly to unscheduled visits by our department. If you make it back without a broken bone or three in your body, I will be highly impressed.” Taking a document from one of the inlaid desk drawers, Markus stamped and signed it before tossing the paper to Andrew, “There is a warrant to investigate. Protection, however, must be paid from your own funds. The department will not cover it.”
Andrew managed to grab the document successfully, clutching it to his chest. With a sharp bow, he rose and said, “I’ll find out the truth, sir!”
Markus sighed as he moved to leave, taking a small medical jar out of another drawer on his desk. Andrew glimpsed the blue pods in the glass, wondering if they were something that helped the older Serpent with stress relief. Word around the office was Markus was one of the longest-reigning head accountants in the department. Andrew had heard that the senior accountant was up for promotion to inner management in a few months.
Closing the door behind him, Andrew shrugged. Whatever medication Markus was using was none of his concern. Solving the issue of Glenwood’s sudden gold rush was.
I’ll have to get someone from the Mercenary Guild, as Adventurers are currently banned from operating near the remains of the old dungeon town. Even though the investigation into the matter linked it to the human kingdom on the border, there is still major suspicion pointed at the Adventurer’s Guild. Andrew thought as he smoothed his silk doublet suit down before he moved off to his personal quarters. While many enjoyed living and working in the department, Andrew had always maintained a separate residence outside the grounds. It was a place he could take his more intimate relations without having it become office gossip within the hour. Granted, more than a few of his colleagues maintained the same practice as him, so it didn’t feel out of place.
A quick stop at his quarters in the Death and Taxes building garnered the prepared spatial pouch he had ready. A few more minutes took care of the leave request, which the department approved instantly upon showing Head Accountant Markus’s document.
Stepping out of the somber building, Andrew immediately headed for the closest branch of the Mercenary Guild. He didn’t bother calling a ride from the ubiquitous transportation methods since he would need all his coin to negotiate a good mercenary.
Arriving at the guildhall was a rather long walk, made slightly better upon seeing the gorgeous clerks at the front of each line. Like most, the Mercenary Guild knew that beautiful women made very effective salespeople. As he observed each of the clerks, Andrew was certain that they had high dexterity from their movements' effortless grace. The almost sublime countenance of their beauty, which was shone even further by their uniforms, suggested that each clerk had unlocked the Charm Stat. They were clearly of elven descent, which was almost sinfully luxurious.
The amount of money represented by a single clerk with the Charm Stat was astronomical, much less five of them. Andrew wondered if he should be running an investigation on this guild branch instead of Glenwood. Taking a look at the brutal guards positioned around the lobby with enchanted armor and weapons, he decided to stick with his current problem.
Someone else has probably already cleared all this. Andrew thought. There is no way such wealth could fail to be accounted for by our department.
After approximately thirty minutes in line, Andrew was finally at the counter. He rattled off what he needed, from the estimated length of the trip to the level of security he required, and ended with a request for the mercenary to be female if at all possible. He ignored the slight smirk the clerk gave him and carefully read the list he was given.
Of the seven candidates, three used language in their bio that suggested they were willing to do more than simple guard duty. Narrowing his choice down to those three, Andrew asked for pictures of the three women. The clerk’s smirk had upgraded to a grin, which Andrew knew was well deserved. Three separate pictures were delivered to his hands by the clerk, and he took a good long look at each.
The first was an icy beauty with a cold cast to her features. Long black hair framed red-pupil eyes that had no emotion in them. Andrew felt a chill just looking at the picture and quickly returned it to the clerk.
The second was a cheerful blonde woman with sapphire blue eyes. Her full body picture made Andrew’s heartbeat speed up. He looked at the woman for a long moment before checking the price tag. With a sigh, the picture was returned by Andrew to the clerk.
The third and final picture was of a mature wolf-woman that ticked all of Andrew’s inner demons. Especially the ears, which made his eyes glaze slightly. After only a few seconds of looking, Andrew placed the picture down and said, “This one.”
The brunette clerk gave an enchanting smile before saying, “We require payment upfront.”
Andrew grumbled before handing over a small pouch filled with the heavyweight of silver and gold. It was a large chunk of his saving, but nothing was more important than his life.
Except for his comfort, of course.
Traveling back to his quarters took a fraction of the time as he splurged the spare money leftover on a good rickshaw runner. Once he was back in his apartment, Andrew double-checked everything on his list for travel. Rations, water, magical tools, warrants, rings of authority, and Standard Number Spells book. It was rather normal for even the laziest embezzler to employ some magic to cook the books in their favor.
However, one of the first things they teach Accountants is how to see the truth in the numbers. Andrew thought. A sharp series of knocks resounded at the front door, and he noticed he had been checking his preparations for over an hour. Straightening his suit, he walked to the door with a swift step. A quick check through the peephole confirmed it was his mercenary.
Opening the door, he moved aside so she could enter. The delicate scent of a refined and mature woman mixed with the oil, leather, and scented herbs of a professional mercenary. Andrew’s own talents allowed him to separate the scents and enjoy them without appearing creepy.
Once the mercenary was fully inside, Andrew closed and locked the door behind him. Turning, he faced the gorgeous specialist he had acquired to keep him safe. Her face was expressive, holding a single eyebrow raised in question.
Andrew asked, “May I see your Status please as per the contract?”
The woman paused for a long moment before replying, “Standard contract rules apply.”
Andrew nodded, stating clearly that he understood if her information leaked, the Mercenary guild would have him ritually tested and executed if found guilty.
Race: Wolf-Kin
Class 1: Swordswoman
Class 2: Huntswoman
Level: 150
Health: 4,220/4,220 (422 HPs regen)
Stamina: 4,220/4,220 (882.2 SPs regen)
Stats: Str 422, Dex 422, Con 213, Wis 213, Int 213
Free Stats: 1
Skills:
Weighted Blade II (4%)
Balanced Blade II (4%)
Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword I (1)
Tracker’s Instinct (39%)
Massage V
Spells:
Clean I
Mental Traits:
Edged Mind (32%)
Physical Traits:
Beast Physique I (98%)
Edged Body (32%)
Andrew licked his lips, his eyes glazing slightly as he read the woman’s status.
“Marie, thank you for accepting the request.” Andrew said, snapping back to the present.
“You paid upfront, with no haggling. I like that.” Marie said, putting her hands on her hips and continuing, “Mind telling me why a pure Serpent like you is bothering to hire someone like me?”
Andrew let his body uncoil, his fangs extruded from his gums, his scales shifting to take a brighter hue, and his tail relaxing out from its normal position as a belt.
“Standard contract rules. I happen to enjoy the delicious scent of wolves. You also have Massage V, which on long trips proves to be something I require since I cannot visit my normal parlor. Also, do you provide extras?” Andrew said, testing the waters.
Marie nodded frankly, “I can. As long as you agree to a separate contract if there are any children as a result.”
Andrew grinned before saying, “I have a spell in my bloodline that prevents the chance of having children without the blessing of my patriarch. Since our bloodline is purer than most, all members of my family are enchanted in this manner.”
Marie’s body flickered as her adventuring equipment was replaced using a spatial equipment item of some sort with garb from a far desert region. Veils, bracelets, and almost see-through silk cloaked her current form while one hand held a small pot of scented oil, while another held a set of heated stones.
“Shall we get started…Master?” Marie said, giving a predatory grin that showed sharpened teeth.
“Absolutely.” Andrew said, heading towards the massage bed adjacent to his actual bed further in the apartment.
Comments
Mr. Bigglesworth
Noted!
Monadologist
I have to admit the transition from fuzzy to smut over the last few chapters has caused a bit of tonal whiplash.
Mr. Bigglesworth
Pure combat classes, especially dual classes, tend to have higher levels than the normal population spread. Also, they are deeper in the Endless Forest, with stronger monsters, stronger dungeons, and stronger fighters than the layer they just left.
ShadeByTheSea
my question is why is a mercenary stronger than the average king
0xFFF1
The guy's perversion shows that he's probably going to die on this investigation. The investigation shows that Eve isn't as invisible as she would've liked, although if she makes it past this trial, likely no one will bother with her due to the complacency of that corrupt bureaucracy. That's the purpose for this chapter.
WalkingPark
Like, I’m not complaining, I like half-porn as much as anyone else, but I kind of fail to see the relevance of this chapter to the plot beyond attracting horny teenage readers
