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Scorching Ascension - 1.79: Payback (Pt. 5) (Unedited)

🕑 Added 2025-02-15 02:50:05 +0000 UTC

Comments

guillaume nguyen

Indeed, this one ends better ^^

calcroissant

Alright should be a bit better. Added some stuff as well. Cheers!

calcroissant

No I get what you mean, the sentences goes on for too long. Gonna look into and fix it right now. Thanks! (And yeah, I kept thinking of Spiderman whenever I think of an ability for this guy. Good thing he's dead >:) )

guillaume nguyen

Edwin's last offence was to try to copy Spiderman, for which the author immediately removed his plot armor in retaliation. Can't deal with Marvel/Sony lawyers right now. "and as he closed in on the lord, it swiveled and its tail whipped out toward him, ready to splatter him against the wall, and Ethan thought of single word as he reached for the nearly physical ember in chest." A lot of 'and' at the end, it makes the sentence more... stretchy and the action less catchy, you know what I mean ? (not even sure what I'm talking about XDXDXD) I would have put Ignition instead of Ignite. Reminds me of rockets liftoff ^^


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