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CalCroissant from patreon
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1.52

🕑 Added 2024-08-09 13:48:25 +0000 UTC

Comments

calcroissant

It's rough when it's literally the first sentence lol. Fixed!

Leonard Marchant

His limbs trembled with nerves while his hearts* were* roaring in his ears. I guess the sentence sounds a bit weird now, might need a restructure lol

calcroissant

Yeah weaknesses like that are what I hope to fix when I work with an editor. Sometimes it's tough to balance "craft" vs "get the words out". I'll take note of this one and see how I can make it better. Thanks for reading!

Touch

Thanks for quadruple chapt! Btw this line “The situation was… tense.” Seem unnecessary for me, you can just show how tense he is instead of telling us….


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