Flavie Eidel
patreon
Little Update
🕑 Added 2021-02-05 11:39:15 +0000 UTCHey you!
I hope you're doing well and that you have fun things planed for this upcoming weekend.
I wanted to take time to share some heart to heart updates with whoever would like to know what's going on for me lately.
_ First things first, I am aware of how lucky I am, and how harder things can be for most people on this planet right now. People are fighting for their own life, grieving, and so much more, and I honestly feel quite ridiculous with my little privileged problems.
_ The other day, I posted on Instagram that all I wanted was partying. And gosh, I miss partying. And I didn't even like it THAT much when it was still a thing. But as everybody else around this planet right now, I could use a couple hours forgetting about everything, surrounded by other people who don't think about anything else either. I'm not saying it's my only problem, just that it sounds like a nice short term solution.
Then, someone got mad at me because I didn't have it as hard as them, and it was the perfect opportunity for me to take a break with the platform. I have an addict brain, I'm way too often seeking for distraction, and lately, with everything that's been going on, social media took a place in my daily life that I couldn't really control anymore.
_ I love human interactions. They fill up my heart and meeting new people is one of my deepest joys. I love getting to know random stuff about people, seeing their reactions, witnessing their growth... But I've not been able to really have access to other humans for quite a lot of time now. I've been in half lockdown for a few years already due to some personal stuff, and gosh, it's hitting hard. Others' happiness was always my biggest motivation and I don't really have a real access to it anymore, alone in my home. So I've became my biggest motivation for a while... Until it faded away. Everyday looks the god damn same. Over and over and over. It'll pass. It always does. But right now, all I'm able to do is... pretty much nothing. I have all these projects that have been starring at me for a while, and I can't do anything about them. I try, little by little, but it feels forced more than desired. And I'm too passionate to work like that. I know that many people do that on a daily basis, and I admire them so much for that. But I'm not that strong right now.
_ I also feel like my job makes no sense with everything that is going on, but I have no idea what I should/could/would like to be doing otherwise. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and it is such an insane source of joy when I get to meet my clients. I just... would like to be doing more.
_ That's why my new edition of A Shoot Of Self Love is taking so long to come out. I work on it little by little daily, as much as I can, and I'm hopeful that this edition will be a lot of fun for some of y'all.
_ That's also why I haven't been on Instagram for the past few days (even if I'm sure no one noticed ahah). I am trying to see if removing this huge distraction from my daily life can help me see and do things differently.
_ And that's also why I've been postponing other projects that I talked about or started to work on.
It's hard to talk about that when all I want is to cheer y'all up. I hate rubbing my problems on people's faces, especially now. But I think it's a good reminder that happiness and self love are not linear and that some days, weeks, or months can be hard, no matter how privileged or joyful we seem.
Maybe you can relate to some stuff, maybe not. I know my worries are pretty common and that's one of the reasons I wanted to share them with you today.
I'm a work in progress, and so are you.
I believe in us, one day at a time. We'll find joy again.
How are YOU doing lately?
Talk to you soon,
Flavie.
