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Vol. 8 - Intrigue - Chapter 10

🕑 Added 2020-06-05 17:53:50 +0000 UTC

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Great job! Like fine red wine, keep it coming :)

Tim

I would like to say one other thing that really annoyed me. During the whole pirate captivity arc, he never ONCE used his mana sphere to try and see where Snowlily was. I saw you write something on royal road to someone that the sphere only sees movement. But back when he literally found Snowlily in the first place, he literally found the tunnel leading there by using that same technique. So it seems you retconned how it worked. And even if it only shows movement, you would think he would've at least tried to try and spot her moving around in the cage. And he was going hmmm how can i see through walls, how can i see through walls, and he never ONCE tried out his technique that he's had for ages? Like Thomas just forgot about it? It literally was so annoying the whole time i read that arc. Could you at least add a paragraph in that arc about him TRYING it and it not working to find her? It was super annoying. I think you are doing a good job writing this story, there are just a few inconsistencies and forgetful things that really break immersion. Thanks for the chapters though and thanks for writing the story in general


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