sonderlust
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betrayal
🕑 Added 2024-04-24 02:19:14 +0000 UTCBetrayed by the only thing I truly have
My body holds me but it hurts me too
My truest love and I have a toxic bond
Together forever but I don’t think we’re happy with each other anymore
My beloved makes me sick
Makes me convulse with pain
Makes me nauseous and dizzy
Makes me weak at the knees and faint
Not in the good way
My darling makes me sad
Makes me paranoid
Makes me afraid
Won’t let me forget all of the pain
Won’t let me believe that I am truly worthy
My one and only makes me feel trapped
Limits what I can do
Keeps me small and caged
Punishes me when I try to push past the confines
Controls how much of myself I’m allowed to be
I have spent years resentful of this love of mine
And it’s easy to look past my part in this broken trust
It’s easy to hate her
It’s easy to point the finger
They say the grass is green where you water it
But my neglect has created a drought
I seem to have ignored that I am her gardener
I seem to have forgotten that I am her keeper
Has my body betrayed me
Or have I betrayed it
