tejoka
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Chapter 55 (Draft)
🕑 Added 2020-10-07 19:45:01 +0000 UTCIt felt like the world around me had shifted again. I could still sense the mist of qi hanging in the air, but its presence was muted now, almost overwritten by something else. Like a frame holding up something else, another layer of reality.
That didn’t mean it was clear. Just looking at it worsened my headache. Colors flashed, and pieces of images swirled through the air. Like three-dimensional paintings ripped apart and mixing together.
A few times, I saw something I thought I recognized, but it was gone too fast to be really sure. Was that a computer? Surely not. Wait, Latin letters?
I frowned and focused, trying to ignore the strain and pierce the illusion. At first, it didn’t seem to help. My surroundings only became more chaotic. But then, they seemed to recede, the colors blending together, muted, until a complete scene emerged from them.
“What the hell?” I stumbled backwards a step, staring at the scene in front of me. It felt like someone punched me in the gut.
Before me, I saw a house. But not just any house. I recognized it at once. The satellite dish and garage clearly belonged on Earth, not Aran. The roof of red clay bricks was all straight edges, no slopes. The white paint on the walls was a little dirty, could have used some renovations. The small garden in front had grown wild, since no one had the time or passion to care for it. I’d always liked it better that way.
I blinked and looked to the sides. The neighboring houses were visible here as well, but a little blurred, like someone had taken a picture with them out of focus.
This was my home. My childhood home, at least. How did they get this? Can only be from my memories. There’s no way this is real. I shook my head. Even if they had some way to get to Earth, how would they know to get footage of this exact house?
The realization that someone must be poking around in my head made me shiver. I ground my teeth and tried to focus. When I tried to analyze my own mind, I didn’t find anything out of place. At least, not anything I wouldn’t expect from the situation, with the poison and being in some strange spirit place.
I couldn’t help it. I walked up to the house, tracing my hand across the wood of the door for a few moments. The material felt wispy, like it wasn’t really there. When I pushed it, the door opened easily.
Once inside, I could hear voices. My heart drumming in my ears, I walked closer, opening another door. And there they were, on the big sofa in the living room. My parents, smiling and laughing at something.
I swallowed hard, staring at them, drinking in their features. They looked normal, like nothing had changed, like I’d only just woken up from a bad dream and never gone on a soul journey at all. Turning my head a little, I could see my little brother, sitting at the table in the living room, focused on his laptop.
Felix had rarely taken his laptop to the living room, but I didn’t care. I drank in the sight of him as well. He straightened up, glancing back and saying something to our parents. None of them looked in my direction, although they should be able to see me from there.
I couldn’t make out any details of their conversation. Whenever I tried to focus on it, their voices just blurred. It was like my mind couldn’t handle it, or like they weren’t saying anything real. But even so, their voices sounded like them.
Steeling myself, I walked further into the room. But again, none of them looked up. I paused in front of the sofa, and waved my hand in front of my mom’s face.
She frowned, and for a second, I thought there was something. Then she only grabbed a pen and made a note on one of the sheets of paper she was reading. I couldn’t read the contents, but she was probably editing a paper or grading something.
I took a step back and looked more closely. Mom looked the same as always, with longish blond hair that showed gray streaks, wearing clothes that showed she’d come straight from work, reading glasses perched on her nose.
Something blocked my throat, and I blinked against the wetness threatening to accumulate in my eyes. With an effort, I ripped my gaze away from her and focused on my dad. He was lounging on the sofa, reading something on his phone. Unlike mom, he was wearing jeans and a shirt, and had his jacket thrown over the back of the nearest chair. He smiled at something, obviously stifling a chuckle so he wouldn’t bother my mom.
I retreated and sat down in the armchair, which turned out to support my weight. But I just watched my family. In that moment, I didn’t care why I was here. They were all that mattered.
On some level, I knew I was being stupid. But I just wanted to capture this moment and have it last forever. Being back with my family, seeing them smile, it filled a hole I’d refused to acknowledge I still felt.
For a while, I sat there, just basking in the presence of my family. I watched them and let my emotions run their course, for perhaps the first time in a long while.
After what felt like hours, but I had no way to know how long it actually was, I started getting restless again. I still didn’t want to leave them, but curiosity pricked me. So I stood up and walked. At the door, I hesitated, looking back again. Nothing in the scene had changed, except that my family had fallen silent, everyone absorbed in what they were doing. I smiled, then continued on, toward the rest of the house.
It looked just like I remembered. I took the stairs to the upper story, then glanced around. The door to the right beckoned me. With a slight tremble in my fingers, I pushed it open and stepped into the room.
My room looked like I remembered, as well. Although something about it felt a little off. I frowned and looked around. There was my bed, my desk with my computer, the two bookcases, the wardrobe. A few old posters hung on the wall beside a few photos. My bed was unmade, and pens and little gadgets scattered across the desk, like I usually left it. I saw everything with new eyes.
Of course, I’d been away before, at university, and only come back after weeks or months. This felt like that. Except … not quite. I remembered the room, but it didn’t feel like I could just move in, lounge on the bed or turn on the screen and start living here again.
This is still me, isn’t it? I’m still the same, just with a few new experiences added on.
I crossed my arms, looking around. It had been less than a year, but a lot of things had changed for me. I’ve killed people, even one who was my prisoner, ordered people deported. I don’t regret it, but I know my family wouldn’t approve. I frowned, then shook my head. But I’m not exactly wracked by guilt, and I think the old me from before the soul journey would have done the same given the circumstances.
No, this wasn’t why I felt strange to be back here.
I sighed and looked out the window. There was the yard behind the houses. I remembered how I used to play with other kids there. I walked closer, peering through the window.
The yard wasn’t empty. As I watched, I saw hints of qi swirling in the air, until the figures of a group of kids appeared in the yard. I sucked in a breath. I remembered this scene, even though it was a little indistinct, like it was seen through milky glass. There I was, cycling back home, confronted by the others. There was the girl in the class above mine who’d bullied me for a bit. I couldn’t recall her name. Something with an M? Maybe.
As I watched, I saw the kids get closer, yelling at each other, until there were a few pushes. The younger me got down before they could tip her over. Frowning, I watched as thing got more heated. When the older girl grabbed the bike’s handlebars, I sighed. I knew where this was going. She’d take the bike, until her brother returned it a few hours later.
I turned away, not seeing the point in continuing to watch. But I remembered how this went. I wanted to teach her a lesson. But I guess she only learned to get a better lock for her bike after the old one ended up in the river. I smiled at the memory. I’d waited after school until everyone left, and gotten home late enough to be grounded for the first time.
I tapped my fingers on the desk, but the wood felt just as wispy as everything else here, reminding me that this life was gone. I wonder how my childhood as Inaris went. Probably wasn’t an easy child.
I shook my head to banish that stray thought and focused back on my surroundings. Why had they played that old memory? Cautiously, I focused on my qi senses. They were still muddied, the poison making them feel detached and blurry. The structure around me and the surrounding qi was dense, not letting me sense anything much further away. But the house didn’t really show up on my senses’ radar, it was more like a continual mass with a few patterns imprinted on it.
Why don’t you show me something else? I focused my mind on an image. The room around me responded, morphing until a few things had shifted places, the decorations changing to those of my early childhood. Everything looked blurrier, maybe because I remembered it less clearly.
So, this is taken from my memories, and I can control it. I wonder how that works? Qi interacting with my brain in some way?
‘How about you watch something else?’
I whirled around, but I couldn’t tell where the spirit’s voice had come from. I couldn’t sense them anywhere. But before me, the view in the window shifted, until it showed a new scene. A village surrounded by a forest and a walled compound.
Despite myself, I stepped closer to the window, curiosity making me want to know what it meant. I recognized the village, it was the one Lorn had taken me to when I was with the Carmine Cloud Sect. But the houses looked a little better now, as if the inhabitants had managed to repair or renovate them.
They weren’t the only thing looking better. On the fields, I could see people working, this time with larger devices, like small tractors. And the people themselves looked better, too. Healthier, their clothing less threadbare. There were a lot more smiles than before. They village seemed to be bustling with people, more than I thought it had before.
I turned away, snorting. “This is pretty blatant. You’re not exactly being subtle, are you?”
There was no answer. I waited for a minute, but when I didn’t notice any signs of the spirit’s presence, I shook my head and turned to watch the room again.
“This is all just a lie,” I muttered. I wanted to stay here. But this was probably a test of how much I would cling to my old life, versus recognizing that it has changed, and maybe that I have a duty elsewhere now. Or that I could do good in the Empire? Whatever. I don’t think they really understand me, but who knows what their reasoning is.
I clenched my fist, bearing down on the qi surrounding me. It started to distort. Dizziness gripped me again, and I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, I was back on the same smooth, featureless plain. I felt a pang of regret for destroying the facsimiles of my family, but squashed it ruthlessly. The spirit might be a jerk, but they had a point. I should just be glad I got to see them again in some way.
I started walking aimlessly, watching as more spirits began to gather again. They kept their distance, though I knew they watched me.
But I hadn’t gone more than a few meters when I noticed many of the spirits stop in their tracks. Somehow, I got the feeling they were surprised.
A voice I hadn’t heard before slipped into my mind. ‘Done with your memories? How quickly you go from clinging to them to abandoning them.’
I stopped and whirled around. There, a spirit strolled towards me. They were more distinct than any other I’d seen on this plain. In fact, I might have mistaken them for a human without the qi clearly making up their body, which otherwise looked like a man in his mid-thirties. He was wearing loose, flowing robes, and had long hair bound in a ponytail. The face looked nondescript, except for the eyes, which glared at me in an alarming red tone.
A few of the spirits started fluttering around in clear agitation, although none got too close. ‘He’s not supposed to be here!’ one of them cried.
I tensed. The poison’s effects had felt muted since I entered this place, but I still felt them, weighing down my limbs and making my qi harder to access. But even in top form, I knew I wouldn’t stand a chance against that spirit. Power rolled off him in waves, stirring the qi around him. He had to be at least as strong as the spirit I’d spoken to before, probably more so. I didn’t think he was a Greater Spirit, but definitely trouble.
‘Can I help you with something?’ I asked.
The spirit came closer, until he stood uncomfortably close, looking down at me. He crossed him arms, his glare not lessened in the slightest. ‘Oh, you could. By realizing that you belong on your own world, not here, for example.’
I almost took a step back, but caught myself. ‘It’s not like I can go back … or can I?’
The spirit snorted, shaking his head. ‘And someone like you is supposed to be the next great ruler of the Empire? Rijoko really bungled this one.’
I gritted my teeth. ‘Did you come here just to harass me?’
The spirit smiled, this one looking more genuine. ‘Mostly. I thought it was about time we saw each other personally. You’ve earned at least that much, rather annoyingly.’
My heart started beating faster. This didn’t sound good. ‘I wasn’t aware I was enemies with a spirit. You’ve been working against me?’
He grinned, flashing teeth. ‘It hardly takes a genius to figure that out, doesn’t it? Of course, someone had to give Weriga that poison.’
This time, I did take a step back. A pit opened in my guts, and I clenched my hands into fists. This spirit had helped Kei Weriga try to kill me? Maybe even instigated it? ‘Why? What have I done to make you want me dead?’
The spirit shook his head. ‘You haven’t done anything. Well, not much, at least. I do wish you’d just let the barbarians kill you.’ He shrugged, the most human-like gesture I’d even seen from a spirit. ‘It’s nothing personal, really, little girl. You can blame your parents for this.’
I tried to take a weapon from my storage ring, but it didn’t work. Maybe the qi here was interfering with its enchantment. So I just crossed my arms. He hasn’t tried to kill me yet. Clearly, he doesn’t want to do it here.
‘You’re just trying to unnerve me, aren’t you?’ I asked. ‘Get me off balance.’
The spirit chuckled. ‘You think you’re clever, aren’t you? Little girl, you’re just a piece in a game you don’t even know. You’re not going to awaken the Moon’s bloodline. Even if you did, your fate wouldn’t change. In fact, you might just help me, and my lord’s case.’
I frowned. Is he working for one of the other Greater Spirits?
We stared each other down for a minute. The spirit didn’t blink, although the menace in his eyes sent tingles of fear down my spine.
Finally, I shook my head. ‘I don’t care. I’m not going to just lay down and die. Even more importantly, I’m going to do what I can. Try to put me down all you like, that just shows you don’t like what I may be able to do, after all.’
The spirit laughed again. ‘Blind arrogance will not serve you well.’
I tried to gather some of my qi. It felt sluggish, but I managed to get some darkness qi into shape for my technique. It almost burned its way out of my meridians, until it coalesced in my hands.
I struck at the spirit. He took a step back before I’d even really started the motion. The grin was still on his face, although the expression around his eyes had hardened.
‘Just leave me alone.’
‘Enjoy what little life you have left, little girl.’
His laughter rang out again, mocking and cold, while his body dissipated. I could feel a wave of qi traveling away from me, although it was only a vague sensation, and I couldn’t have pinpointed his path.
I slumped and took a deep breath. Then I stayed still for a bit, but it seemed like he was really gone.
The worst thing was, I did feel a bit shaken. Knowing that I had an enemy like that, if not someone even more powerful, gave me goosebumps. And the revelation about the poison added to that. He must have pulled Kei Weriga’s strings. I wish I could just go home, I couldn’t help thinking. Even if I survive here, what else might they be up to?
But at least now I knew more than before.
