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[TEA] 35. Deal with the Devil

🕑 Added 2025-05-26 16:00:12 +0000 UTC

Comments

Stephen Swanson

Thanks for the feedback! Funny enough the first time I wrote this chapter the tone was closer to what you suggested before I did some edits. I'll keep that in mind when I do my next tweaking run for the story!

SAB

> "What concerned him most however, was that he couldn’t tell if he was actually shuddering at the thought of being forced to work for the monstrous gang leader… Or in anticipation of all the fights that were sure to come." I'll be honest, this "fight junkie to a fault" throughout the story feels artificial and forced. There's frequent mentions of Asher's yearning to fight while damn the consequences, but he hasn't actually done any impulsive, immoral, or unjustifiable fighting just for the sake of the rush that would actually sell it. Every one of his targets thus far he's considered the moral justifications beforehand, and, as a reader, all of them have been easy to accept as good things. If this need to fight is supposed to a compelling character flaw, he should actually make some flawed decisions and sometimes take morally gray or black actions that he struggles with afterwards. To be clear, given the circumstances, agreeing to work for Loratta is not morally questionable. Rosh makes it so that Asher literally has no choice, and Loratta even agreed to his stipulation that he'd not have to kill anyone that wasn't truly "bad." IMO, it would be much more compelling for Loratta to deny that request and require Asher to assassinate anyone she told him too, regardless of his compunctions. That would actually be something he'd wrestle with, and this detrimental "fight junkie" mindset you're pushing but currently not selling could be the deciding factor.

Dec

Oh! How I hate it seemingly intelligent characters do dumb things. Please don’t make him dumb.

BubblyGhost

Weird he cares about Rosh this much but people are weird in general I guess

Stephen Swanson

Don't worry, I don't want to spoil anything specific, but I will say that the next few chapters should help ease your concerns a bit regarding the direction the story is heading!

Cuticle

... Is Asher supposed to be a terrible person? That feels like the direction the story is heading. Is this gonna be a villain story?

Brandon Lydick

I want her to suffer so bad aaaahhhh

Scion

He definitely should Mark all of her people he shouldn't care about their privacy


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