Wizardly Dude
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[EOE] (294) 4.73. Just Try and Kill Me
🕑 Added 2025-11-19 17:00:10 +0000 UTCThe moment the words left the Relic Guardian’s mouth, Vin felt his heart drop straight into his stomach. Not only was the man still alive after taking that massive explosion directly to the face, he somehow remembered them despite his raving insanity. Gripping his staff in hand, Vin barely managed to stop himself before his golem arm tightened and splintered his quarterstaff in half.
While they all hesitated, glancing at one another while waiting to see who would speak first, the guardian moved. Slowly, as if the act of doing so caused him tremendous strain, he reached to the side and gingerly picked up the chunk of metal that was once his sword. With a sigh, the elderly man pulled back his arm and threw the destroyed sword off to the side with barely any effort.
The sword smashed into the side of the colosseum with enough force to shake the very building to its core, sending shards of splintered metal all over the place. Vin gulped as he did hear his quarterstaff start creaking under the strain of his grip.
Regardless of how high his focus had gotten, he hadn’t even been able to track the flying projectile with his eyes. The Relic Guardian’s message had been quite clear.
Even if he looked like he had one foot in the grave, he was more than powerful enough to kill all of them if he so chose.
“Hunger weakens the body,” the guardian said softly, startling them out of their shock at the unexpected display of power. “Yet attributes and abilities largely remain untouched, assuming one has trained enough to ignore the desperate cries of the flesh. Never assume a fight is going to be easy based on appearances.”
“We’re not stupid,” Alka shot back, causing the rest of the team to panic slightly as she antagonized the man who’s just displayed a level of strength far beyond anything they’d ever seen. “Though the same can’t be said about you. You just threw away the only projectile you had within arms reach!”
“Choosing to antagonize someone so drastically above you in level?” the man said, slowly shaking his head. “Child of metal, your actions disagree with your words.”
“He’s not attacking us,” Shia whispered, leaning over and speaking almost directly in Vin’s ear. “And he sounds much more sane than the last time we were here. Maybe he’s gotten better?”
“The lack of monster meat has given my plagued mind a chance to recover some,” the Relic Guardian answered, as though hearing Shia’s whisper from halfway across the colosseum hadn’t been an issue in the slightest. “I still feel bouts of mindless rage and sudden desires to lash out at my surroundings, but you are in no danger. Not unless I choose to attack you this time.”
“So you’re not going to attack us?” Scule called out, doing his best to hide his cape behind his back. “Just wanted to clarify. Your wording was a tad vague, there.”
“...Probably. That remains to be seen. On the one hand, you came into my most sacred place and stole from me,” he said bluntly, staring directly at the cape hanging from Scule’s collar. “But on the other hand, I took something from you in return.” At that statement, his eyes flicked to Vin’s arm, and he seemed to grow genuinely saddened of all things. “I’d say that makes us about even.”
“You’re seriously claiming that you’re not upset we blew up your big glowing ball and destroyed all the artifacts?” Alka asked, looking like she wasn’t buying it. “I find that hard to believe.”
“The scant few artifacts you saw before were but a small drop of the vast ocean of treasures I once watched over,” the guardian said, his lips forming a thin line. “The Gods were the ones to strip them away from me, destroying the hundreds of divine artifacts before my very eyes, converting them into magic in order to fuel the creation of this world. It was that action that hammered in the wedge that had already formed between us back when they refused to offer me a divine class. You merely caused the destruction of the pathetic remains of my collection. It was already lost to me by then.”
“You certainly seemed a bit more invested in your ‘pathetic remains’ two months ago,” Shia pointed out.
“My mind was a fuzzy maze I was lost within after eating the flesh of so many monsters,” he shrugged. “Though even in my hazy state I recall the rapid degradation of the Grand Artifact of Qiantha. If you hadn’t intervened, the sphere would have most likely broken down within a few more days regardless, so I don’t even hold that against you. No, I have no more ties to this new world the Gods placed me in. No qualms with anyone and no anchors to remain. At this point, I am simply waiting to pass on quietly.”
“Wait, really? You’re just planning to sit there until you die?” Vin asked, unable to stay quiet any longer. “Why not accept the Gods’ gifts of food they tried offering you?”
“What would be the point?” the man asked, barking out a laugh that shook the very floor beneath their feet and caused Vin to flinch despite the reassurance he wouldn’t attack them. “I was once a Relic Guardian, yet there are no more relics to be guarded. My purpose, my people, my freedom, it has all been taken from me. I’ve had a strained relationship with the Gods for years now, and this final trick they pulled on me is the last straw. No, I have had enough of the living. The Gods may dictate where I am allowed to go on this realm, but they cannot stop me once I go on to the next. It is time.”
“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to toss over those artifacts you’re sitting on before that, would you?” Scule asked, offering the man a shaky smile. “Or perhaps giving us a rough estimate as to when you think you’ll finally ‘pass on?’”
“Spoken like a true Rogue,” the guardian said, actually chuckling of all things. “Sadly, my own attributes and abilities are now working against me. As a guardian, I strove to forge my body into the strongest shield imaginable, capable of holding anything that would dare damage my relics at bay. Because of that, I lack the strength required to take my own life. Similarly, my body’s physical needs such as hunger, thirst, or even a need for air will take longer still to do me in. I will die in time, young Rogue, it would behoove you to learn some patience.”
“I mean, I’m happy to walk over there and kill you if that’s really what you want,” Alka said pointedly, gesturing at him with her sword. “Want me to give it a go?”
“By all means, you’re welcome to try,” he offered, giving her a weak smile. “Though I think you will be disappointed.”
As Alka strode over to the center of the colosseum, Vin couldn’t help but blink at the strange reversal of fates he was witnessing before him. Months ago, when he first encountered Alka, she’d been a ghost hoping to find a way to end her own life. So much had changed since that first eventful day, and now here she was, attempting to help someone else with the identical desire that she’d had back then.
Strange how the world worked sometimes.
Alka didn’t even bother asking him if he was ready or if he was really sure about all this. The moment she made it to him, she struck. Bringing back Dream Eater, her darthsteel-mithral alloy sword forged by Deorer himself, a twice prestige dwarf of the Crater, she brought her sword down in a slash aimed at the Relic Guardian’s exposed neck. But just before the blue-black blade connected with flesh, a faded image of a gorget shimmered into existence, stopping her blade easily and causing it to bounce back. The moment the blade was deflected, the shimmering neck armor vanished once more.
“The citadel was the strongest fortress in my entire world, and I was chosen among many to guard its treasures,” the man said quietly, giving Alka a sad smile. “I am level 81, and far beyond your ability to kill. I appreciate the offer to speed things up, but I will die eventually, on my own terms.”
Undeterred, Alka naturally attempted to strike the man a few more times, even going so far as the try stabbing him in the heart and slowly slitting his throat with her blade, but each and every time, a shimmering piece of armor came into existence between her blade and his flesh, stopping her attack short. The magical chestplate stopped the strike to his heart, and an imposing helm prevented her warpick from stabbing the man in the eye. Vin had absolutely no idea what sort of perks a four time prestiged class had, but they were clearly powerful beyond belief.
After watching Alka grow more and more frustrated, Shia stepped forward, Blossom having already reverted back into her staff form. Seeing the guardian simply sit there and take all of Alka’s blows without losing his sad smile seemed to have given her a bit of encouragement. “I have the tip of a weapon that is enchanted to better cut through magic. Perhaps that would work?”
“You are welcome to try,” the guardian said, his tone making it clear how he expected that to go. With a nod, Shia encouraged the tip of Dancing Leaf to poke out of her staff. Hesitating for only a moment, she attempted to stab that into the guardian’s chest as well.
Just as it had with Alka’s attempts, a shimmering breastplate appeared for a fraction of a second, deflecting the enchanted petrified elderwood easily. Vin couldn’t help but stare at that, as up until that point, nothing had managed to deter the magical blade. The guardian must have seen the look on all their faces, as he chuckled.
The benefits of each prestige compound on the previous ones,” he explained. “That weapon might have been enough to kill me if I were only in my third prestige, but hitting level 80 was a truly massive leap in power.”
“Can you tell us more about the different prestiges?” Vin asked, finally stepping forward despite Scule’s quiet warnings. Even if they weren’t able to get their hands on the artifacts he was still guarding, learning more about the later prestiges would be a massive boon. For some reason, when asked about prestige classes, Kym hadn’t had much to tell them. The Advisor had stated that no written records existed in the libraries he’d read regarding specifics of level 60 or higher, and while they’d thought that was impossible, Kym had sworn it to be true.
“The Gods frown upon anyone in the third prestige or above revealing certain secrets to those still working their way up,” the guardian said, closing his eyes once more despite Alka continuing to try and stab him from behind. “It is a mere gentle lean on the mind of those who hit the second prestige to keep the secret, but their hands grow more forceful with each following prestige. I would tell you if I could, entirely to spite the Gods at this point, but I am physically unable to. You will understand one day if you ever reach the threshold yourselves.”
“Alright… I could try and kill you with death magic, if you would like?” Vin offered.
“My body is just as resistant to magic as it is to mundane metals,” the guardian said, shaking his head. “Unless you are capable of casting offensive magic of the seventh tier, there is nothing you can conjure up that has any chance of harming me.”
Tier 7?! Vin blinked, wondering what on Earth a tier 7 offensive spell would even look like. He had a feeling something like that would be powerful enough to destroy the entire citadel, and he prayed he’d never encounter magic of such devastation in his entire life.
Letting out another weary sigh, the Relic Guardian tilted his head toward the colosseum entrance. “I am tired and wish to go back to my meditation, yet I have grown weary of violence. I do believe if I give you the truly final dregs of my once magnificent collection, I’ll be free to die in peace. Will you take them from me?”
“We’ll think about it,” Alka said, now attempting to carefully wiggle her sword into the man’s open ear, each attempt deflected by an ethereal helm flickering in and out of existence.
“Here,” he said, opening his left hand and revealing a large tear-shaped diamond about the size of a golf ball. “This was temporarily destroyed along with everything else, but as is its true nature, it did not remain gone for long. It is a gem of resurrection, a powerful soul-relic capable of reviving the recently deceased, provided they died of causes other than old age. The Gods frown upon relics such as this, which is why I have but the one in my entire collection.”
Vin vaguely recalled hearing from Scule how the Gods seemed to have a distaste for allowing people to live forever, but his eyes were glued to the gem. Without even intending to, he could see the wisps of soul magic radiating off the gem, reaching out and gingerly touching upon each of their souls like some sort of curious, other-dimensional octopus. It was almost as if the gem was showing him that a person’s soul itself was nothing more than structured magic and runes, similar to everything else in the universe. He felt the barrier the Goddess had placed within his mind strain for a moment, as if struggling to keep his mind from reverting back to seeing everything in magic and runes once more. Tearing his eyes away from the gem, he shuddered at the unpleasant sensation as he reined himself in.
Even if he couldn’t receive the System notifications while within the divine sanctum, he could tell by now the relative strength of the one he’d just discovered. It wasn’t minor or grand, but somewhere within the middle of the pack.
Wow, the realization that souls are simply magic and runes like everything else is only a regular arcane discovery? Tough class.
Reaching out, Vin gingerly accepted the shining gem from the Relic Guardian, surprised to feel it was warm to the touch. That very same warmth felt like it spread directly into his chest, deep into his core.
He didn’t have too long to contemplate that, however, as the moment the Relic Guardian handed him the gem, the man smiled and let out one final sigh that seemed to take all the tension and hidden rage out of his body altogether. As soon as the last of the air left his lungs, his body collapsed forward, flopping unceremoniously upon the ground. Each of them blinked and jerked back, staring at the naked, elderly man lying there before them. After a few seconds, Shia muttered under her breath, casting Sense Life. With a start, she turned to look at them.
“He’s dead,” she said, looking just as shocked as the rest of them.
Comments
FoxTheorem
Good soup
