Jaundis
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Hera's Heavy Haunt
🕑 Added 2022-10-15 03:47:19 +0000 UTC“That’ll be nine-fifty for the lot. You want anything else with that?”
The Karen-looking milf scoffed. “A better attitude would be nice. You’re lucky to be employed being the way you are! Show some gratitude to your customers!”
Hera stared at the bitch for a second. Then she snickered. “Oh, you’re being serious. Sorry ‘bout that. I just didn’t realize someone could preach about being some way when you’ve got the jawline of a rat and a worse complexion than mine.”
“WH-WHAT!?” The bitch just about screeched. Oh fuck, look at her face! It was red as a fuckin’ apple! It was too good! “What is WRONG with you!? I WILL speak to your manager!”
“The manager isn’t in right now, but you can talk to the owner if you’d like.”
“Even better!” bitchy-bitch seethed. “I will have you FIRED, you freak of nature! You people don’t deserve the privileges you get! If I could-”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up, Karen. You wanna talk to the boss bitch or not?”
She was turning purple now! Ha! “Oooh, yes I do! Bring him out right now or I swear I’ll sue!”
Hera snickered again. Working the night shift at a convenience store was normally a boring time, but customers like this shit-for-brains always made Hera’s night better~. She flipped upside down where she was floating and gave little miss soccer mom the widest grin. “Hey, it’s the boss bitch speaking. Wanna try this whole conversation again or you good to give up and get the fuck out?”
The Karen just stood there gawking like a guppy. Hera laughed aloud and hovered over the counter like one of those french girls. It was an easy task to do since Hera was a ghost. She wasn’t sure what kind of ghost she was (she couldn’t figure out if she was a wraith or a poltergeist), but she also didn’t care too much. She could float, interact with most stuff, phase through stuff, and change some of her looks when she wanted to. It was hella cool and bigots like this Karen were just jealous.
“Th-This is absurd! You couldn’t possibly be-”
“Hey, lady. Look above me.”
Hera pointed up casually. Big ol’ bitch angrily followed her finger with her eyes. Then her nigh-purple face turned to a ghastly white. Oh yeah. That’s what Hera liked to see~. Karen swallowed hard from eating her damn words before scuttling out of the store as if her life depended on it. Ha! It was vain as hell, but having an owner’s picture above the register was so worth it for these exact moments! It helped that the picture was from back when Hera was still alive, too. Really drove the point home.
Well, that was fun. Now what? Hera idly drifted through the convenience store, eyeing her shelves below. Everything was stocked, no other customers were in, and she’d already cleaned right before weak little Karen bitch had come in. Oh yeah, her stuff. Hera swooped over, scooped up the two sodas and bags of chips she’d been wanting to buy, then put them back in their homes. Ok, now Hera was out of things to do.
The lightweight lady floated back over to her counter and put on her phone gloves. The only things Hera couldn’t interact with were silver (burnt her like a mofo), liquids, and touchscreens, so she had to use other things to interact with that junk. It was a pain, but hey - at least she could use phones this way. She knew a few ghosty folks that couldn’t touch anything. Poor bastards were missing out. Smart phones were just so convenient.
Hera spent a few minutes browsing her Twitter feed. A chime played as the doors opened and Hera glanced up. Oh hey, it was her favorite racist vampire. She checked the time on her phone. “You’re here early. What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing special,” Margo responded. She was a beanpole of a woman with grey skin, nails to be envious of, and mean-looking fangs that just poked over her lower lips. She also dressed like a hipster and acted like an emo tween a lot of the time. In other words: she was hilarious. Margo walked towards the employee room to change but stopped by the counter on her way. She rubbed her pale neck awkwardly. “So, uh… I saw that I was scheduled for Sunday this week for some reason.”
“Oh yeah, that.” Hera went back to scrolling on her phone. She slowly started to rotate in mid-air, her spectral hair ignoring gravity as she did. “Benjifer ate aisle four yesterday, so I had to let him go. He was working Sunday. I’ve got a gig harassing a clergyman that day, Missy has school, Daniel is a cunt, and Carlyle only works Tuesdays and Thursdays from four to six as is dictated by our blood pact, sooo you’re the only one that can work. Sorry, not sorry.”
“..Fuck.”
“Hey, look on the bright side: you’ll be getting overtime for it since I went above you to change the schedule. Some extra green never hurt no one, right?”
Margo growled and muttered something under her breath about Benjifer being a fat fuckhead, but she didn’t try to argue. That was another one of Margo’s good points: she’d been working here for a decade but still wouldn’t try to bitch at Hera or rebel. Such a good little stooge~. Hera slipped her phone into her pocket. Then she grinned at the vamp. “Hey, so it’s a slow night and you’re early, so I’m just gonna slip on outta here now. The store’s yours till morning, my favorite manager~.”
Another growl. Hera giggled and started to float upwards through the roof. Oh, wait a sec! She popped her head back through the ceiling and said, “Right! I fucked with a Karen earlier - a real ratty looking one. You’ll know her if you see her. If she comes back, you’ve got my permission to tell her to fuck off.”
With that, Hera sped through the roof until she could see the clear night sky above her. She sucked in a deep breath (even though she couldn’t breathe) and let it out. What a gorgeous night! A perfect night for being a complete and total degenerate! Rock on!
What should Hera get up to today? She zipped along above the city in a random direction, not a care present in her pretty little head. Being dead and also rich lead to having way too much free time. She had no laundry to do, no need for sleep, fast commuting… It was ironic that Hera didn’t start having all the time in the world until after her time had ended.
Let’s see… Hera had bullied some punks at the skatepark yesterday, she’d haunted her fuckhead bestie at her liquor store the day before that, she’d done a million repairs in her apartment building the day before that… Dammit, Hera was running out of playful tomfoolery to partake in! Doing the same things over gets real dull after a few decades, so Hera tried to always keep things fresh. Unfortunately, there were only so many different things you can get up to when you’re awake twenty-four hours a day and restrict yourself to a fifty-hour work week.
Luckily, it seemed like tonight was gonna be a good night. Hera happened to wander over a happening time a few blocks away from the local uni. A classic house party! Young idiots, deafening music, dim lighting, and more alcohol and drugs flowing through people than blood. House parties were the perfect way to burn a whole night for a bitchy ghost! Time to have some fun.
Hera pulled out her phone and turned on her camera. She was still dressed in her store uniform, which wasn’t gonna cut it. She focused on her body and felt her whole being vibrate. Her image in the camera started to shimmer until… Heeeey, that was more like it! Hera struck a pose. Ruined leather jacket, tattered jeans, unkempt hair, and some dark make-up! While clothes were easy, it was hard to change her actual ‘body’ and harder still to hold those changes, so Hera usually kept her normal body. That was totally fine, though. She had a bomb figure and a perfectly bratty face, so it’s not like she could make herself any better~.
That said, she was going for spooky tonight, sooo… A flesh wound on her arm and some blood spots on her jacket, a small hole in her neck, an exposed bone and more blood on her leg, some twigs and mattes in her hair, aaaand some bruises and cuts on her face. Perfect! Now she looked ready to do some proper haunting! Hera giggled as she descended toward the thumping house. She was so ready for this!
First, some reconnaissance! Hera phased through the roof and started peering into all the rooms inside. It was a pretty average party house. A good handful of bedrooms, most of which had snogging or fucking uni students… a few rank bathrooms… more people than should legally be allowed in one house… a kitchen stocked with more good and booze than an Irish family reunion (Hera was Irish, so she was allowed to make that joke)... This was the most absolute basic house party ever. That was just perfect, though.
Now came another choice… How should Hera fuck up this party? She could do a Bloody Mary play, or maybe a pretend possession… Banshee emulation was an option, but if it didn’t work, she’d just come off as a pissy screeching wench, which wasn’t preferable. The usual shit of rattling furniture and flicking light switches and flinging stuff around and blah blah blah wouldn’t work well since it was already a clusterfuck inside. What else could she do? Yuki-Ona cosplay was more of a solo thing… no one gives a shit about mummies… digging up bodies to play zombies usually resulted in the FDC getting called, which was no fun…
Oh! There WAS something that Hera could do that she hadn’t done in a while! It wasn’t one of the usual ghostkly fares, but in a house party? It would be awesome!
Hera darted through the halls and through the partygoers, snickering whenever she heard someone complain about a sudden chill. Her translucent body didn’t show up well in dim lights or at high speeds, so all these drunkies would see her as would be a dark blur. She ducked into a hallway wall and popped her head out of a kitchen cupboard. There were fewer people here than in the other places in and around the house but still enough for her to do what she wanted to do unnoticed. Nice. Time to get to work~.
The gleeful ghost slipped to the bottom of the cupboard and positioned herself in line with a tasty-looking platter of wings. She opened her mouth wide… and wide… and wide… until it could easily swallow the whole platter. Which she did. Easily.
Fun fact: Ghosts aren’t just incorporeal. They are actively a disturbance in space itself… or something. The whole science bullshit behind it was confusing as all hell, but Hera could give less of a shit. All she knew was that she could take stuff with her through walls so long as it was inside her in one way or another, which was convenient as hell. It normally only mattered for her pockets, but it also meant that Hera could do things like… this~. She did a quick turn and went back up through the cupboards, gobbling up half a pizza on her way.
Now, could Hera just, like, phase an arm into some food and keep it there? Yes. Was that nearly as creepy for a witness compared to an inhumanly-mouthed specter swallowing everything it could whole? Nooope. Thus - pretending to eat. There were plenty of hungry ghosties out there to pretend to be, but none were popular in pop culture, so Hera just did whatever she wanted for these times and went with whatever people thought she was. The biggest surprise of all, though?
This type of mischief almost always scored big screams for some reason. Hera would do it more often if it didn’t need such specific circumstances. It was also hard on her ‘body’, for whatever that was worth, but since it wasn’t exactly possible to hurt herself… no restraint!
Hera did a few more laps around the party, making sure to keep low to avoid people directly seeing her. She also took the chance to have a few more snacks. A slice of pizza here, a shitty beer there - she even swallowed a couple of blunts and a vape pen while she was at it. It had taken some practice to be able to specifically take the booze out of a cup while leaving the cup itself, but the looks on people’s faces when their drink drinks itself? Priceless.
Then it was back to the kitchen. A couple of stoners were staring confusedly at where the platter of wings used to be. Hera let a flash of hair flicker across the counter. That got a lovely little start out of the dweebs! She held in a laugh while she Jaws’ed a mostly-uneaten taquito and two open cans of coke people had left on the opposite counter. Whoops, that had been these stoners’ foodstuffs. They were now annoyed and seemingly stressed out but couldn’t wrap their heads around what was going on. Stoners were always so much fun to mess with~.
Hera cackled to herself and whisked upstairs. She didn’t have to stop at food - she snatched up some shoes from a fucking threesome (just the left ones), a plugged-in phone charger, and a pair of headphones. All things that would be missed but weren’t devastating to lose for a day or two when Hera would come back and leave all this junk in a closet. It would also all come out surprisingly clean despite all the food in her. Ghost space was good at keeping things separate. Another perk of being dead~.
Still, it wasn’t like Hera had unlimited space. Actually… maybe she did? She’d never really tested the upper limits of how much she could hold before. She hadn’t really wanted to. She hung out in an empty bathroom for a moment to rub her stomach. Things that she ‘ate’ didn’t show up inside her, but they certainly still left a presence. Her middle was looking preggo right now from all that food and junk. Her clothes were just an extension of herself, so it was stretching out as well into a strained-looking orb.
Hera didn’t have a gut to fill, of course, but she still had to store stuff somewhere. So her ghostly body would expand wherever she put the junk. She could put it anywhere, but the most natural place to put it where it wouldn’t get in her way was her gut, just like a normal person. There was also a second reason, but… Hera didn’t really wanna think about that part right now. She’d be experiencing it soon enough anyways…
Back to work, then! Hera slipped through the floor and took another lap around the bulk of the party, this time draining every other cup she came across. People were getting notably confused now. Before she could be noticed, Hera ducked into the floor, then worked her way to the kitchen again. The stoners were gone and a few sorority babes were in their place - not the ‘purge’ type of sorority babes, but the full-figured ones with low self-esteem from their small amount of grabbable fluff despite still being totally hot. They were also drunk as fuck, which was perfect.
Hera quickly surged out of the floor, slurped up all the drinks in the girls’ cups, and ducked back down. She circled around the tile flooring to the counter and watched with glee as the girls went to drink, noticed that their cups were empty, and each sort of laughed and commented on how they’d drunk more than they’d thought. Only one of the four seemed to realize how weird it was that all four of them were having that thought at the same time.
The four went for more beer. Hera followed along. They refilled their cups and went for a drink, but… of course, Hera was faster~. Now even the drunkest short-stack of them was confused. Hera giggled, the beer all sloshing around inside her somewhere around where her spleen might’ve been if she was alive. She was tempted to keep going with these girls, but… it wasn’t time yet. She needed them to stick around and start spreading rumors. With that intention, Hera let out a deliberately loud laugh that made the girls start before zipping off.
Hera kept going like that for about half an hour. She’d slurp up some random miscellaneous items around the house, snitch some food from the kitchen, drain some drinks around the party, then pick an easy group to follow and bully. Every pass she did of the party, the more she noted that people were being cautious and looking around. There were also fewer people at the party at all now. Soon enough it’d be hard for Hera to zip through rooms without being fully seen - especially with the progress she’d made. It was time for a break, then the next step in party terrorizing~.
The bitchy specter scouted around until she found another empty bathroom. She let herself in through the tub and let herself materialize enough to rest inside said tub. Yes, she did say ‘rest’. After all her theft and snacking, Hera’s gut was massive, to put it lightly. She was reclining in the tub like a tired mother would with wine and candles, but instead of water filling the tub, it was mostly ecto-flesh. Her legs were being forced against the sides of the tub harshly by her own belly. The gut muffined over the edge of the tub an inch or two and easily covered her knees in length. Hera didn’t have muscles, but she did have a limit on how much she could lift… normally. Stuff stored inside her seemed to undercut that limit, but after a certain amount, Hera could still feel all that weight inside of her as if it was weighing down her very soul… which, technically, it kinda was. Heh.
Anyway, the point was that it was uncomfortable to fly around carrying so much inside of her, and ‘resting’ that weight on something solid felt really, really nice. Hera sighed happily and rubbed the length of her spooky bulge-gut. Her ‘skin’ felt like real skin to her, but it was so weird to feel it when it was so inhumanly stretched and stuffed like this. Also, her clothes just looked weird now stretched out like this. It was like a shittily photoshopped photo that made a celeb look preggo. She let out a little sigh and focused on her gut. A shimmer rippled across her engorged body, and where the shimmer passed, her clothes changed. She didn’t want to fuck around with her form again later when she was even heavier, so she just made it look ruined as if her stomach had ripped through it. Good enough.
Now then, she’d rested enough. It was time to get back to work~. Hera let her bloated form sink through the floor and made her way toward the kitchen. There was no one in the room for the first time - perfect! Hera could do some real mental damage with this…
First off, Hera swam a lap of the counters, swallowing every bit of food and drink on them while leaving the trash. While she was at it, she also hit the fridge. She started at the bottom and floated up through it, her mouth stretched wide to a monstrous degree to accept all of the food inside in one go. She could actually feel her spectral body getting weighed down as she rose through the fridge. It felt both surreal and strangely cool. She was getting a little too big for her own good, though. Her stomach was going to start getting in her way pretty soon. Other things could phase through Hera, but her arms and legs couldn’t. She’d need to move onto the endgame before long…
Still, Hera wasn’t at that point yet, so she could keep going~.
The cupboards were hit next. Hera’s gut swelled several inches every time the specter passed through one of the many mostly-stocked cupboards in the kitchen. It also was getting unbearably heavy. It was reaching the point where Hera could actually feel her body getting affected by gravity again. Her stomach swung and bounced below her, threatening to drag Hera down through the floor. She was so close to finishing her setup, though! Just a little more…
The pale ghost groaned in weak triumph as she passed through the last cabinet. She was so heavy… Hera just wanted to lie down on the floor right then and there, but… she had one last thing to do first…
Hera took a deep breath to steady herself (mentally, of course), then started flying around the room at top speed. Admittedly, her top speed was several dozen MPH slower than it normally was thanks to her massive fucking gut, but it was still more than fast enough for her to make it around the medium-sized room in seconds. She ripped open the cabinets with cannon-like BANGS, threw open the fridge hard enough for the whole thing to shift forward several feet, and scattered the trash and debris from her rapid feast EVERYWHERE. There was a ton of trash, too, since Hera had made sure to only eat the food and none of the packaging. Jars and bottles shattered, boxes littered the floor, and empty plastic bags floated in the air around Hera. Then, before any of the party’s guests could arrive to see the cause of so much noise, Hera heaved her heavy body up into the ceiling.
Hera carefully poked her face out of the ceiling to watch the results and wait for the next step. She didn’t have to wait long. People poured in almost immediately, walking through the layers of trash to get a look. There were startled and angry exclamations along with many fearful looks around. Tensions were at their highest. Time for the clincher!
Hera pulled her face back up into the ceiling, cleared her throat (there were a few cups of flour floating around in it that hadn’t properly gotten stored in her gut), and said in a deep rumbling voice that didn’t seem like it could come from her body, “MmmoOOoooOoorrre….. MMOOOOOOORRRrrrRRRrrRRREEE! I WanT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRE!”
Finally, just to fully seal the deal, Hera maneuvered one of the shoes from the depths of her cavernous stomach to her head. She stuck her face out just enough to fit the shoe through, then let it fall from her body into the room below. Job done! Hera floated up and up, rising through the second story, then the attic, then out above the house. She groaned with relief as she let herself make contact with the roof to lay her engorged gut on it. Just as she got comfy she made out a particularly panicked, “OH GOD, IT’S EATING PEOPLE!” From inside along with a chorus of screams.
The mirthful spook laughed her translucent ass off as she watched people pour out of the house and flee across the lawn and street. Ha! Hera just couldn’t get enough of this! She reclined on her side and stroked her massive flank while men, women, and all the others tripped over each other to get away from the seemingly haunted house. Oh, actually, Hera guessed that it was haunted - by her! Heh.
*rrRRrRRRrrrrggGGgggggggGlllllllll*
Hera hiccuped and grimaced as an involuntary shimmer shot out across her body. Nothing changed this time, though. It was just her body trying to change itself to accommodate so much random food and junk. The hiccup and gurgling were also from this process. It never helped. Hera would continue to feel just as full and bloated and heavy. If she had to equate the feeling of having her body packed full of junk like this to a living experience, it would be like… feeling nausea from overeating without the need to throw up? It wasn’t great.
With a heavy sigh, Hera sank down through the roof back into the house. She needed to let some of this crap out. There’d been more food in this brat house than she’d expected. Oooh fuck, she was so freaking heavy…
The problem was that Hera needed a good spot to dump all the damn food. She could just eject the whole lot out into the bedroom or something, but come on now - she wasn’t Satan or anything. These idiots hadn’t done anything to her. All Hera wanted to do was have some fun. She’d just made a mess and scared the shit out of some people. Yeah, she’d also wasted probably several hundred dollars worth of food, but that was fine. She’d just leave a few hundred in cash behind to make up for it. No harm, no foul.
*RRRRggGGgggggGGRRRRrrrrrrr*
Hera nearly crashed into a wall as she rematerialized in a hallway out of necessity. She lay on top of her gut on the floor, groaning. Her feet and hands were the only things other than belly making contact with the carpet below. She was so fucking biiiiig, Jesus Christ… How was she going to get somewhere to eject all this food…?
Actually, there was one other option that wouldn’t ruin the house, but… Hera hated that option. FUCK, she hated that option. It was looking like she didn’t have much of a choice, though. Demi Social Services would be here soon so long as there had been at least one semi-rational idiot at the party. Hera did not want to be here when those uptight shitheads got here. So… FUCK.
Hera closed her eyes and grit her teeth. The contents of her body started to shift and churn. Then… it began to empty out. All the food from inside of her was vanishing, bit by bit. It hurt like a bitch to do, it was exhausting, and Hera had no idea what was happening to said food, but… at least she’d be mobile again once she wasn't so God-damned heavy.
*HhhrrrrRRRRgggGguuuURRRRggggggglllrlrllllee*
The spectral woman gagged and trembled as the rest of her body slowly sank toward the floor. Christ, she wanted this to be done so badly…
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Fuck. It was happening again.
Margo let out a string of expletives while food poured down from the fucking ceiling of the break room. Again. Why!? Fuckiiiiiing WHYYYYYYY!? WHY did this happen? Why was this a THING!? FUCK! And Benjifer had been fired, so she wasn’t even around to hoover all this shit up this time! F.U.C.K. FUCK!
The vampire seethed loudly but still went to get the trash bags. She wasn’t about to get fired because of some bullshit food wormhole. Besides, a lot of that food actually still looked half-decent. If she prepped them just right, maybe she could take a bunch of this home for Sima…
Ok, actually? Opinion changed. The ceiling wormhole was alright in Margo’s book. Some extra work for her, sure, but free food for her feedee friend? Worth. That was totally worth.
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This fic, uh... it's alright. It didn't turn out exactly as I wanted it to, but it's not the worst either. I mostly just wanted to get something out since I'm so late, so hopefully y'all like this one despite my reservations!
Fun fact: I was actually considering doing a rapid WG sequence at the end instead of the wormhole thing, but I didn't want to set a precedent for rapid WG in my fics. The wormhole thing can also have some fun implications in the future potentially, so as Margo said... worth~.
Also, I kinda hate that I somehow made Margo a sort of center point of my whole monster gal thing. I don't even like her that much.
