Abarith
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Chapter 36: Just See
🕑 Added 2024-11-23 20:33:01 +0000 UTCJeremy woke up groggy, his whole body stiff like he’d slept on the floor. He rubbed his eyes and let out a loud groan. The lingering ache in his chest returned, making itself known once more.
Last night’s conversation with Mia and Timothy wouldn’t leave his head. Were they being real? Maybe. He wanted to believe it, to trust that he actually made friends here. But something in him just wouldn’t let go. What if they’d only said it to keep him happy? The thought made his stomach twist.
He shuffled to his desk, where his notebook and a pile of Observation books waited. Picking up the notebook, he stared at the scribbled notes from yesterday’s class. His handwriting was all over the place—still shaky from everything—but the words stared back at him like a challenge: Focus on patterns. Details are everything. Don’t overthink, just see.
Jeremy sighed, gripping the edge of the notebook tighter than he meant to. He couldn’t keep going in circles like this, letting doubt tie him up. If he did, it’d end the same way it had in the dungeon—with him panicking and running in circles. No, today was going to be different. He had to make it different. He couldn’t control what other people thought, but he could work on himself. His Skills. His progress.
His stomach growled, loud enough to snap him out of it. Right, lunch. He’d skipped breakfast, and now it felt like his stomach was trying to eat itself. With a shaky breath, he stuffed the notebook into his bag for his class in the afternoon and headed out, hoping a meal with his friends might settle more than just his hunger.
Jeremy slid into his seat. Perci was already halfway through her dessert, while Marcus and Timothy argued about class. Jeremy picked at his food, glancing up just enough to catch Mia’s soft smile as she sipped her tea.
But the doubt crept in, loud and nagging. Do they really like me? Or is it all because of who I am?
“You look wiped,” Marcus said suddenly, leaning over to nudge him. “Still feeling rough from the hospital?”
Jeremy blinked, shaking his head. “Yeah, just a little sleepy. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Good,” Marcus said with a grin. “We need you back at full strength in weaponry class—can’t let you miss all the fun.”
Jeremy managed a weak laugh, but his eyes kept darting to the others. He saw Perci whispering something to Mia, who smiled and nodded. His stomach twisted. What are they saying? Are they talking about me?
“What are you doing?” Perci’s sharp voice snapped him out of it. She was staring right at him, her fork paused midair. “You’ve been staring at us weird since you sat down. Spill it, Hoppins.”
Jeremy froze. “What? Nothing. I’m just… practicing.”
“Practicing what? Your creepy stare?” Perci teased, but her eyes narrowed like she was genuinely curious.
“Observation,” Jeremy said quickly, setting his fork down. “For class. Ardin told us to, uh, notice details, so I’m practicing.”
Marcus lit up, immediately nodding. “That’s awesome, man. You’re taking it seriously! You just got out of the hospital, and you’re already ahead of the game.”
Jeremy blinked, caught off guard. “Uh… yeah. I guess.”
Perci snorted, shaking her head. “Well, maybe next time try not to look like a serial killer.”
Mia gave him a reassuring smile, her voice light but knowing. “He’s just trying to improve. Give him a break.”
Timothy chimed in quickly, “Yeah, not weird at all. Right, Jeremy?”
Jeremy tensed, catching the look Mia and Timothy exchanged. They knew what he was doing. The confession from yesterday flashed through his mind—how they admitted they’d been drawn to him because of his family name but stayed because they liked who he was. Did they mean it? Or was it just another way to keep him from asking too many questions?
Still, they didn’t have to tell him anything. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
“Right,” Jeremy said, his voice more defensive than he wanted. “Just practice.”
“Sure,” Perci said, smirking. “But if you’re practicing, maybe work on being subtle. Right now, you’re about as sneaky as Marcus in a buffet line.”
“Hey!” Marcus protested, but he laughed along with the others. “I’m not that bad.”
The conversation shifted back to lighter topics, and Jeremy tried to relax. Marcus started reenacting his last sparring match, complete with exaggerated movements that made Perci roll her eyes.
“Oh! Speaking of matches,” Marcus said suddenly, snapping his fingers. “I almost forgot—I wanted to ask you guys something.”
Mia raised an eyebrow. “Ask, like you need a favor? Or ask, like this is leading to a really bad joke?”
“Neither,” Marcus replied, grinning. “My family wants to meet you all.”
Perci stopped mid-bite, blinking. “Wait. Your family wants to meet us? Why?”
“They’re really into the whole ‘know who your friends are’ thing,” Marcus explained with a shrug. “They even told me not to tell them anything about you ahead of time. Said they wanted their own first impressions.”
Mia tilted her head, intrigued. “That’s… sweet, actually. I’m in.”
Perci smirked. “Fine, but if they want first impressions, I’m not toning down anything.”
Marcus laughed. “Good. My little brother’s worse than you, anyway.”
Timothy hesitated, then nodded. “I’ll come. Sounds fun.”
All eyes turned to Jeremy. He shivered under their expectant gazes. The idea of meeting Marcus’s family was… a lot. What if they could see right through him? What if they asked questions he didn’t know how to answer?
“I… I’d like that,” Jeremy said finally, forcing a small smile.
“Awesome!” Marcus said, slapping the table. “This is gonna be great.”
The group dove into planning—Perci threatening to dig through Marcus’s old baby pictures, Mia asking about his family’s estate, and Timothy muttering about bringing extra supplies “just in case.” Jeremy tried to stay in the moment, but the doubts still lingered, clawing at the back of his mind.
“Jeremy?” Perci waved her fork at him. “Earth to Hoppins. You in there?”
“Huh?” Jeremy blinked. “Sorry. What was that?”
“Snacks,” Perci repeated, grinning. “What are you bringing for the trip? Or are you gonna mooch off the rest of us?”
Jeremy forced a chuckle. “I’ll bring something. Can’t let Marcus’s family think I’m totally useless.”
“See? He’s learning,” Perci teased.
Marcus clapped him on the shoulder again. “Don’t worry. My mom makes enough food to feed an army. You’ll probably leave with leftovers.”
“Hey, mind if I join?”
Jeremy turned to see Andrew standing there, holding a tray. His brother looked tired, but there was a spark in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Sure,” Marcus said, gesturing to the empty seat. “You’re just in time to hear Jeremy promise to bring the best snacks for the trip.”
Andrew raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Snacks? Does that mean I’m coming along too?”
The group burst into laughter, and for a moment, Jeremy let himself relax. Maybe things didn’t have to be so complicated. Not right now.
Jeremy sat in class, staring at his open notebook but not really seeing it. Professor Ardin’s voice carried across the room, explaining something about reading microexpressions—how a nervous smile looked different from a confident one or something like that. Apparently, it was super important for survival, but Jeremy’s brain was somewhere else.
Lunch kept replaying in his head. Marcus’s big grin, Perci’s easy laugh—it all felt too perfect, like it was staged or something. What if Marcus and Perci were just like Mia and Timothy? What if they were better at hiding it? His stomach twisted as he tried to make sense of everything. Every little interaction felt bigger and darker the more he thought about it.
“Mr. Hoppins.” Professor Ardin’s sharp voice snapped him back. His head jerked up, and he realized she was staring right at him, her green eyes narrowed.
“Would you care to share your insight on the difference between a nervous smile and a confident one?” she asked, her voice icy.
“Uh…” Jeremy’s mind was blank, like a big, empty space where thoughts should’ve been. He froze, feeling the whole class watching him. A few kids exchanged glances, some of them smirking.
Ardin’s lips pressed into a thin, disappointed line. “Perhaps you were too busy daydreaming to notice the demonstration?”
“I—I’ll pay attention now,” Jeremy stammered, sitting up straighter and grabbing his pen like it was some kind of shield.
Ardin didn’t look impressed. “This isn’t about sitting up straight, Hoppins. This is about focus. Without it, you might as well be blind in a dungeon. Do you think distractions will save you when you’re cornered?”
“No, Professor,” Jeremy mumbled, his face burning.
“Good.” She gave him a hard look. “Then let’s test that focus. Pair up with Ben and work through the exercise.”
Jeremy shuffled over to Ben, who looked at him with this awkward smile. The exercise started, but his mind just wouldn’t stay on track. Ben cycled through expressions—tense, calm, fake—but his thoughts kept drifting back to Marcus’s grin and Perci’s teasing.
“Jeremy,” Ben said, frowning. “You’re not even looking at me.”
“I am,” Jeremy said quickly, trying to sound confident. “You’re just… uh, doing the same expression.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “No, I’m not.”
Before Jeremy could come up with another excuse, Ardin’s voice cut through the class. “Enough.” Her footsteps were sharp as she walked over, her expression colder than ever. “Hoppins, if you want to waste everyone’s time, you can do it somewhere else. Out. Now.”
Jeremy’s heart dropped. “I wasn’t trying to—”
“I don’t care,” Ardin snapped. “You clearly don’t want to learn today. Leave the room and come back when you’re ready.”
The room went silent. Everyone was staring at him now. Heat rushed to his face as he fumbled to pack up his notebook, keeping his eyes on his bag so he wouldn’t have to meet anyone’s gaze. His legs felt heavy as he walked towards the door.
The door clicked shut behind him, leaving him in the hallway. Jeremy leaned against the wall, his hands trembling in frustration and embarrassment. He squeezed his eyes shut, but it didn’t stop the thoughts. His doubts—it was dragging him down, and now he couldn’t even keep it together in class.
Jeremy shut the door to his suite as quietly as he could, not wanting to hear the loud echo slam through the empty space. The silence inside felt heavy, like it was waiting for him to break it.
His dad’s voice rang in his head, calm and certain: “If you want someone to be a friend, they’ll be your best friend… Only what you want will matter.”
That was supposed to make him feel better, right? Like no matter what, he was in control. But instead, it just made his stomach twist. If everyone did whatever he wanted, then how would he ever know who really cared? His hands gripped the back of the couch, knuckles turning white as his thoughts started spiraling again.
Mia. Timothy. What about Marcus and Perci? Were they hanging out with him because they wanted to—or just because he was a Hoppins?
He let go of the couch and started pacing, his legs shaky from the lingering weakness, but the movement helped. It kept the tension in his chest from swallowing him whole. He caught sight of himself in the mirror, stopping to stare. The reflection didn’t even feel like him anymore—tired eyes, pale skin, and this constant edge of worry that hadn’t gone away since Alicia.
His throat tightened, and he turned away.
He tried to remember the good moments. The way his friends laughed with him, challenged him, or just sat by his side like he belonged there. Mia’s nervous honesty, Timothy’s awkward fidgeting, Marcus’s endless encouragement, and Perci’s quick, sharp comments.
But the other side of his brain whispered louder: They’re doing all of that because they have to. They know who you are. They’re scared of what you—or worse, your parents—might do.
His fists clenched as that memory came rushing back. The teleporter attendant. His mom’s rage. It wasn’t just his friends who had to walk on eggshells—everyone did.
Jeremy stumbled back, falling onto the couch. His chest felt tight, but it wasn’t panic this time. Andrew’s angry voice echoed in his head, clear as day: “You didn’t think, Jeremy! You didn’t think about anything except yourself!”
Andrew was right. The problem wasn’t everyone else. It was him. He’d been so wrapped up in doubting them, in testing their loyalty, that he hadn’t thought about how they felt—what it was like for them to always be under a microscope.
His dad’s words came back again, softer now: “Be genuine with others, and the rest will take care of itself.”
That wasn’t the clean, simple answer Jeremy wanted. It wasn’t a guarantee. It was messy and scary because it meant taking a risk. But maybe that’s what his friends had been doing all along—taking risks to show him they cared. Mia and Timothy didn’t have to tell him anything, but they did. Marcus believed in him without hesitation. Perci? She never sugarcoated anything, but she always had his back.
What if they’re lying?
The question whispered, but this time, it wasn’t as loud. Another thought pushed against it: What if they’re not?
Jeremy let out a shaky breath, his chest still aching, but not as bad as before. The doubt was still there, still nagging, but it felt… smaller. Manageable, at least for now.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he said out loud, his voice barely more than a whisper. “But I have to try.”
It wasn’t some big, dramatic decision. Just a quiet promise to himself. Tomorrow, he’d ask Marcus about the trip without overthinking it. He’d try to go with the flow instead of overanalyzing every move his friends made. If he wanted to build something real with them, he had to give them that chance.
Leaning back into the couch, his fingers brushed against his notebook. He flipped it open and saw his messy scribble:
“Don’t overthink. Just see.”
A tiny smile tugged at his lips. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And for now, that was enough.
