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Plan for the Galaxy Chapter 57

🕑 Added 2024-09-10 01:50:41 +0000 UTC

Comments

Eva Cole

It's probably good that you had him in a coma instead of him having to decide if shepard should be warned somehow. Hopefully they'll help shepard find those monitors that cerberus is gonna put in her. Also I hope brock is prepared to fight cerberus cause I think that's coming sooner than later. He made a great choice for vice president (with her last job being a diplomat it's probably easier for her to find excuses that the Citadel will accept)

Bored Peasant

Thanks. Fixed it!

The Senn Master

As always, you do great work. I do have an idea for the reviews though, since they just reviewed Lord of the Rings, why not have them review Shadow of Mordor and Shadow of War? Aside from the usual banter about it, it could also be an allegory to indoctrination, since, while much more direct and far less subtle, it's not too different from Reaper indoctrination. There could be other lessons to be learned, but that's the big one I can think of. Also, the paragraph where Sparatus said 'Excellent', you used his name instead of Valern when talking about Sparatus being more military minded than either Tevos or Valern, or as you accidently put it, 'Tevos and Sparatus'.

FallenMetalGod

Thank you. This is a great chapter. I have to say I am interested in the next two years to see how Brock will expand his company and what he will do while Shepard is being brought back to life. I hope we get a scene where Shepard asks about her old teammates, and Ilusive Man mentions Brock. I hope there's quite a reaction to Shepard's question. I hope we see some Mass Effect Andromeda characters like Drack, Vetra, or Dr. Lexi. During the two years, wait for Shepard. Great job, as always, and I can't wait to see what Brock will do. Also, I didn't get to mention this, but I love the world-building and the chapters with different perspectives away from the main characters. I like seeing what people think about Brock simply knowing things. Thanks again, and I can't wait for the next chapter.

sonic

This chapter is superb! One of your best, if not the best. The satisfying suspense, the thought process of other people, the progression, chef's kiss. Nicely done. And again, don't burn yourself out. It's better to write with passion then other negative emotions. Cheers

Bored Peasant

No that use of Sparatus saying 'excellent' was right, but it let me see another mistake further down. Worked out well for me!

Ezoz

Hey just a small name mistake is paragraph 6 of Tevos pov. You used Sparatus instead of Valern I think

Bored Peasant

Thanks. Luckily I am not burning out from writing. It was a couple of weeks of sick kids and wife. I took a week off writing to give me time to make sure I didn't go too far.

sonic

Thx for the update, but please, no burnouts or overworking. I contribute for quality, not quantity. Don't want you ruining your health over this.


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