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Chapter 49 – How to pamper a [Lady] part 3
🕑 Added 2022-12-10 16:16:32 +0000 UTCThe sun was beginning to set, and its last rays were painting the trees with a soft orange, which gave the area a serene, painterly mood. The trees were acting as a natural barrier between the road which traveled behind them, and the lake that stood in front. A doe was leisurely drinking from the lake, and birds sat nestled together in the trees, enjoying the last warmth of the day’s sun. A scene of true peace.
BOOM!
The branches of the trees were the first to react, bending with the explosion which sent frail leaves flying and birds fleeing in a panic. The shockwave made its way to the lake, creating a soft wave that sent the doe running off.
“Hells, that did barely anything! What am I getting wrong?”
There was a brief respite from the noise, and some brave birds flocked back to observe the intruder that had ruined their peaceful moment. They watched the woman clad in black and white dig around in her pouches, get out some liquids, powders and rocks, and mix them together. This time, wizened from their prior experience, the birds took flight at the same time as the woman began running away from the mixture.
BOOOOM!
This time the noise was much greater, and the wave it created in the lake managed to travel all the way to the other shore. The woman returned to the explosion site, then once again stomped the ground in frustration.
“Bloody, bloody hells! Will I really have to do this by hand? There’s no way I’ll make it in time…”
Fayette was almost dismayed, but she was never one to give up after two attempts. Or 10. The crater in the earth had been deepened quite a bit by all of her successive attempts, but now she was finally starting to run dangerously low on ingredients.
I want to be able to make more [All Purpose Cleaner], and it might be a while before I can properly resupply. Can I change the recipe somehow? Make this more efficient?
“Hey, what are you doing there?”
Fayette jumped at the familiar voice, then turned around. Olivia was watching her from a few dozen feet away, a questioning look on her face.
“Olivia? When did you get here? I thought you were with the caravan.”
The [Doctor] walked forward, eyeing the smoking crater apprehensively.
“I wanted to collect some herbs from the forest, so I headed out ahead. Damned things are too slow for my taste anyways. Then, I started hearing explosions in the distance, and here I find you, near our night’s rest spot.”
Fayette sighed and turned back to the crater. “Well, yes. Here I am, wasting my time. I’ll never make it in time before that [Lady] gets here.”
Olivia quirked an eyebrow. “This is for her? Are you trying to assassinate her or something? I guess that could get you some good experience.”
Fayette scowled and turned back to the [Doctor]. “No, what are you, stupid? There’s no way we wouldn’t get caught if we did something like that—we’re registered as escorting her for the adventurer’s guild. No way they won’t find out if we kill a client.”
Olivia took another step forward, coming to stand next to the [Maid]. She looked over the results of the many, many explosions.
“If not assassination, what is this? Are you going to stage an assassination, then rescue her from it at the last moment?”
“No, that’s not it, though—” Fayette dug out her notebook and made a few markings. “—now that you said that, that might be worth considering. Or, wait, I don’t think it would work out, because I would be the one who made the assassination in the first place, those types of things usually don’t give experience much.”
“If not that, what?”
Fayette pointed at the crater. “I’m trying to make a bath of course!”
“A bath?”
“Yes, a bath! Part of any proper [Lady’s] daily routine, and what could be more challenging in these circumstances?”
Fayette indicated the forest around them, then continued. “If you think about it, a meal or tea party isn’t really that hard to set up on the road, is it? But a bath? A real, proper, hot bath? Now that’s going to require some doing.”
“How exactly are these explosions helping you make a bath?”
“Well, it’s not like I’ve got a bathtub in my back pocket or anything, ok? So I went with the other natural option: Digging out a bath that I’ll then fill out with water using a bucket, but I don’t exactly have a shovel or anything. This was the best method of digging a hole quickly that I came up with.”
Olivia nodded. “I’m starting to see your issue, that crater certainly isn’t deep enough yet, but this can’t really be the best way, can it?”
“Do you have any better ideas?”
“… no. I’m a [Doctor], not a [Bath Person] or whatever.”
Fayette sighed. “So, I’m back to square one.”
Olivia stepped inside the crater and began poking at the smoking remnants with a stick.
“I guess your mixtures result in too much noise and smoke, and not enough actual results. Do you want a hand? I’ll help you if you let me pick out something from that rock collection of yours.”
Fayette frowned. “Do you really know much about explosives? You’re a [Doctor].”
“And you’re a [Maid]. True, my [Basic Alchemy] is mainly aimed at making things that don’t explode, but if you really think about it, I just have to do the opposite and things will work out.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Well, basically, if my skill is telling me that I should not mix two reagants because they will explode, then I can know that mixing those two things will cause an explosion. In a way, having explosion-preventing alchemy is a good way to learn lots about explosives.”
“Well… I’ll let you pick out something if you actually do manage to help. But I’m going to remove two rocks from consideration, those ones are too valuable to me.”
Olivia considered for a moment, then nodded. “I’ve seen at least four interesting alchemical reagants in your collection, so that should be alright with me. Where are your ingredients? Let’s get to work.”
***
The forest had been at peace for many many minutes as the two women talked and worked, and the birds had slowly come back, curious about their noisy intruders. They were again perched on trees around the crater, watching as the two women conferred, argued, and mixed ingredients. Suddenly, the mixture began smoking, and the two women ran away as fast as they could, screaming. The birds began flying away again, but this time, an interesting scent stopped them.
A scent of medicine. A certain rare herb grew in these woods, and it was one the birds were very fond of eating, as it tended to heal any minor scrapes they had and give them a certain prowess in attracting mates. A strong, concentrated version of that scent was traveling with the smoke.
The birds made a snap decision, and turned from their flight, heading towards the irresistible scent. Fastest of all was a young male in his prime, who swooped down like an arrow. He landed by the smoking mixture, and almost lost consciousness from the scent. Victorious, it ruffled its feathers at the other birds, and turned with satisfaction towards its prize. It took one step forward and—
BOOOOOOOOOM!
***
Olivia slowly rose up from the ground, reached out, and caught one of the many feathers drifting about in the air. “Shit, what the hell were those birds doing? I didn’t know they liked that one herb so much…”
“Hah! That’s what you get stupid birds!” Fayette shouted, shaking her fist at the sky.
The [Doctor] turned to her. “Why are you celebrating that?”
The [Maid] smiled viciously. “I recognize that type of bird—they were always making a total mess of the garden patio. Do you have any idea how long I’ve spent cleaning after them?”
Olivia turned to look at the scattered remains of the birds, bloody pieces of guts and feathers strewn about the crater. “Won’t this mess ruin your peaceful hot tub thing?”
“Well… I guess I’ll have to clean all this up. But—” Fayette walked forward, looking over the crater with satisfaction. “—with this done, I should be able to do everything in time. Will those herbs and liquids you threw in make the water toxic or anything?”
“No. If anything, it’ll make the water good for the skin. And maybe make you more... energetic let's say. Should work to take out minor blemishes and such. Can I choose my rock now?”
“Can you wait until the evening? I’ve still got a lot to do, so I don’t want to waste time. Can you start a fire for me? Do it by that pile of rocks over there.”
Olivia sighed. “Well, fine. I guess I’ll help. But I’m not going to help you carry buckets or anything like that. How are you going to make the water stay in there anyways? Won’t it all seep through the dirt? The ground here isn’t really all that solid.”
Fayette smirked. “Don’t worry, I’ve calculated for everything.” She began digging through her [Apron of holding], then pulled out a set of pelts. “Do you know what these are?”
“I’ve seen those a few times recently… Aren’t those the pelts Mireille bought at the town?”
Fayette nodded. “Yes: Beavermonkey pelts—known for being really good at holding water in. I’ll just line the inside of this crater with these like this…”
“Alright alright, I get it. I’ll make that fire for you.”
“Once you’ve got it burning, put the rocks inside. I’ll heat up the water using them.”
The rest of the process was more straightforward. Fayette carried water from the lake bucket by bucket, slowly filling up her improvised natural bathtub. It took a good hour, after which the rocks had gotten quite hot in the fire.
She carefully poked them out of the fire with a long stick and rolled them inside her bathtub one by one. The water sizzled and boiled as the heated rocks went in, and the temperature slowly rose up and up. Fayette periodically tested the water with her finger, judging whether it was at the optimum temperature.
Olivia had long since left, leaving Fayette to handle the rest of her tasks alone. As the last step, she rushed around the area with her broom, clearing away all the bits of bird that were strewn about. She took them a good distance away and left them in a heap, far from the road. I guess some scavenger animals will take care of that. Hopefully, it won’t cause any issues.
She returned to the site, tested the water one more time to make sure it was perfect, then let out a deep breath. That was so much work! This better be worth the experience.
She went to the lake and washed herself of any dirt and sweat she had accrued, then used the water as a mirror to make sure her dress was impeccable—she wanted to be at her best tonight, just in case it would count that one bit more. Blasted hair’s gotten a bit tangled up—I think I’ll have to ask Mireille to fix it. Can’t be looking shabby in front of the [Lady].
She let herself slump down onto her back for a bit, and spent a moment just laying there, listening to the sounds of nature. By now all the birds knew to steer clear of the area, so all she heard were the quiet rustles of the branches and leaves in the wind. She almost wanted to fall asleep then and there, but finally, she heard the sounds of chatter and wagon wheels.
Well, I guess it’s time.
She rose up, took another look at herself reflected in the water, then fixed her posture. She took a few deep breaths to clear away any remaining exhaustion, then walked off to the approaching caravan.
The caravan had stopped on the other side of the treeline by the time she got there, and it didn’t take long for her to find the [Lady]. She was chatting with Mireille while writing in her notebook and smiled when she saw Fayette approaching.
Damn, can’t get to Mireille without her. Well, messy hair it is then.
“Miss, your evening bath is ready.”
The woman’s pen stopped then and there, and she slowly turned to face Fayette with her whole body.
“Evening bath?”
Fayette didn’t blink, and continued deadpan. “Evening bath.”
The [Lady] looked around for a moment, as if trying to find a hidden inn behind the treeline. “An evening bath here, in the middle of this forest?”
“Yes, indeed,” Fayette said as she stepped up inside the wagon. “I’ll get your change of clothing and bathing supplies.”
The [Lady] rose up and waved her hands around. “Wait wait wait, there’s really an evening bath waiting out there? For me?”
Fayette started to feel annoyed and grabbed the woman’s things without looking back. “Indeed there is, just follow along now.”
She stepped down from the wagon, took hold of the woman’s hand, and started pulling her along.
“Wait, no need for that, I’ll come.”
She let Fayette lead her on through the treeline, then silently stared at the steaming bath waiting in there. After the disbelief had time to fade away, she slowly turned to Fayette.
“You disappeared from our group after midday. Is this what you were doing all day?”
“Well, yes. It took some work.”
“Some work? You look like you’re barely able to stand up like that! Don’t even pretend this is some standard guard duty thing!”
“Look, it’s just…” Fayette closed her eyes. “Just enjoy your evening bath, alright? I’ll help you undress and stand guard to make sure nobody comes to interrupt.”
Two bright blue eyes stared at Fayette for a long moment, until the [Lady] finally nodded. “Well, alright. Can’t have all this work go to waste. Just promise me one thing.”
Fayette opened her eyes and looked up. “What?”
“You’ll take a turn in there after me. Saints know you look like you could use it. I can even do that stand guard nearby thing for you.”
Fayette quirked an eye, not the request she had been expecting. “I guess that’s fine… But I’ll get Mireille to stand watch. You hired us to guard you, letting you do that would be a bit much.”
The woman smiled, then turned around, spreading her arms out. She bent her head to look behind. “Well? Will you help me out of this thing?”
***
Fayette sighed as she lowered herself into the bath and felt the hot water envelop her. These furs really do make this thing comfortable. I guess it was worth it in the end. I wonder, can I get them clean and dry? Might be a bit difficult.
Mireille had declined her own turn in the makeshift bath. Olivia had told her about the great bird massacre that had taken place there, so she had felt wary about the whole thing. Fayette didn’t really understand the worry—the blast had made sure all the bits ended up as far away from the tub itself as possible after all.
That meant that she had quite a bit of time before the [Seamstress] would find out what had happened to her furs. Fayette had a suspicion that she might not be able to get them quite back into top condition. I wonder if I’ll have to beg on my knees for mercy from her. Hopefully I can arrange something nice.
The [Lady] had spent a good half hour soaking in bliss, and Fayette had felt a yearning herself the whole time too. She almost joined in midway—the miss had just looked so comfortable in there. But that would have been a major breach of proper etiquette, so she had stayed herself until now.
As she fully lowered her head into the water, then relaxed a bit of mental energy she had been spending. She finally felt the awaiting notification pass to her—she had wanted to savor it in the most comfortable way possible.
[Level up: You have reached Maid level 17! Congratulations!]
[1 Skill point gained!]
[You have gained a new skill: Dry Laundry!]
[Progress towards next level: 0%]
She clenched her fist in victory, then paused, conflicted. Not quite the skill I was hoping for. Well, at least that should solve the “how do I dry the damned furs” problem. A level is a level.
She sank back into the water and just sat there, enjoying the ambient noises of the night forest. It was already dark out, and only the few nearby lanterns lit the area. Mireille was sitting by the treeline, working on some type of hat for herself.
Fayette let herself indulge in the bath for a few more minutes, then finally rose up, full of regrets. If only I could spend a few hours in there… but there are still things to do and a [Maid] does need sleep. Regretfully. I would have taken a [No Sleep Needed] skill or something…
She dried herself off, then dressed and signaled for Mireille to leave. Once the prying eyes were gone, she took out the beavermonkey pelts and decided to test out her new skill.
Alright, [Dry Laundry], let’s go!
She felt at the distinctly fuzzy fur in her hands, then squeezed and wrung it out. Instantly, all the water inside dripped out, leaving the entire pelt dry. Fayette inspected the results closer, then grimaced when she saw that the backside was still a bit ashen from the residue of the explosives and the dirt.
I really should have cleaned all that up first, but there just wasn’t enough time. I’ll have to try and fix these later.
She put the furs away into her [Apron of Holding], then paused in thought for a second. Could I possibly?
She slowly reached behind her head with her hands, grabbing hold of all her wet, loose hair. She began to squeeze them out, and tried to activate her new skill.
She felt her hair wringe out under her fingers, and a steady stream of water droplets came out. She passed her fingers over her hair like a comb, and left behind only a perfectly dried result.
Bingo. Maybe this is more useful than I thought...
Smiling slightly, Fayette walked back to her carriage. She stepped inside carefully, tip-toed over Olivia’s and Mireille’s sleeping forms, then peeked behind the curtain set up for the [Lady’s] sleeping quarters. Did she manage to get her things cleared properly?
She saw a clump under a thick blanket, with one pale leg sticking out. She could hear the soft breathing of peaceful sleep and smiled. Guess my special bath really did work. She looked over the room and saw that the woman hadn’t quite managed to pack away all her things neatly—most notably, her notebook stood out in the open, right in the middle of the floor.
Fayette frowned and picked it up, she couldn’t have anyone stepping on it by accident. Just a bit curious, she opened it up and brought her lantern closer. What kinds of secrets did the nobility keep?
Well, not the type she had been expecting. In fact, it wasn’t a notebook at all. There was no text within, rather, each page held a black-and-white drawing or sketch.
Intrigued, Fayette began flipping through. Most were of the landscape and environment, with some sketches of birds and other animals. There were also sketches of people within. Fayette couldn’t recognize any of the ones in the first parts of the book, so she skipped ahead, curious about what the woman had been drawing in more recent days.
She came face to face with a picture of herself.
It was just from this morning, from after the tea party. She had been feeling happy about her leveling progress, so she had been in a celebratory, dance-about mood as she had picked apart her tea setup. A moment from that dance was captured within.
In the sketch, she was standing on one foot, hands spread out, twirling in a circle. Her long sidebangs were flowing in a smooth curve, while the rest of her hair was tucked neatly in a bun, resisting any motion. Her dress was flowing with the motion, rising up, and revealing her second foot, which was poking out from within, revealing a hint of her bare ankle.
Fayette instantly closed the book, blushing.
Scandalous! Did I look like that? Shouldn’t have done that in sight of others…
She shook her head, placed the notebook down on top of the woman’s suitcase, then stepped away. She took one look at the miss's exposed leg, then closed the curtain, shaking her head.
She undressed quickly and squeezed between Mireille and the wall, bringing a blanket on top of herself. She’s a [Lady], not an [Artist] or anything. No telling how accurate that thing is.
“Besides, I can’t really have been smiling like that, could I?” She silently muttered.
A/N Why yes, the longest chapter of my series is indeed the bathing chapter, of course! What? Boss battles and intrigue? Psh, we all know what's really important.
Comments
SCANDALOUS ANKLE
zechamp
Thanks for the catch, is it when becoming a new patreon or switching tier or what?
Luboš Hemala
Just letting you know, that attempting to become a patron leads to an error.
