Masterfulhusband
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Endless Opportunities Ch. 04
🕑 Added 2019-09-11 16:31:22 +0000 UTC
Thanks again to Sanford for helping with this. I hope you all enjoy. Note: There's a kind of "dark" section in the middle but if that's not your thing, don't worry. It's there for a reason and we're going somewhere I think everyone will like ;)
Chapter 4
By the end of my first day, I already had some ideas in mind. A quick text from Rhonda confirmed she was just fine at home, having been eaten to six orgasms and counting. She told me to have a little fun so I decided to take her up on that. I love my slut of a girlfriend!
I called my COO, Jocelyn, and the head of HR, Janice, back in at the end of the day. We talked briefly about the events of the day and basic housekeeping stuff before I moved on, “Ladies, I don’t want to make any wholesale changes around here but I definitely would like to put my mark on things, as it were. And I’d like some assistance in prepping for this big dinner party.”
Jocelyn quickly said, “I’d be very happy to help you… sir.” Her eyes were smoldering as she stared at me and I squirmed in my seat.
Janice chuckled, “It wouldn’t be the first time Jocelyn helped a Lindsey man with a long, hard night.”
Jocelyn elbowed Janice playfully and winked at me. I had the brief mental image of my Dad and Jocelyn fucking on my desk but quickly pushed it from my mind. All of this was mine now. Not his. “I think it would be best if we started tonight. Don’t you agree, Jocelyn?”
“Yes, sir,” she said in a sultry tone. I’d wished for her day to be filled with all manner of sexy daydreams and her body was practically trembling after all of that.
“Well… I’ll just leave you two alone then. Welcome aboard, Mr. Lindsey. We are very glad to have you,” she said. She stood up and walked out, shaking her hips sexily as she strode towards my office door. I pulled my eyes away from her ass and looked at Jocelyn’s face. She was licking her lips and already unbuttoning her shirt.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day, Sir. Your cock tasted so good but it didn’t give me what I needed.” Her shirt fell around her and her hard, unobstructed nipples stuck out at me invitingly.
“And what do you need?” I asked, leaning back. I glanced over at Laurie who was sitting there watching with a dopey smile.
“A hard fucking, Sir. I’m afraid I’ll be useless in helping you prep until you’ve helped me… calm down.”
I stood up and walked over to Laurie, “What do you think, Laurie?”
“I think you should be a good boss for your new employees, Master,” she whispered lustily to me. Her smile seemed genuine and had no hint of jealousy in it. Just lust.
I whispered back, “I wish that she’ll cum whenever I tell her to but only when I tell her to.”
“Yes, Master,” Laurie said, a twinkle in her eye.
I turned back around to Jocelyn and walked towards her. She stood up quickly and came at me, kissing me with need and grinding her body into me as she moaned into my mouth. There was no need for foreplay. Neither of us needed that. We were naked 15 seconds later and about three seconds after that she was laying on my desk with her legs spread and my cock penetrating her hot, wet core while she screamed my name.
“Fuck me, Thomas. Fuck that’s good. Sooo fucking good, Sir!” she screamed as she thrashed in ecstasy on the desk.
I held her legs wide and jammed harder and harder into her, enjoying her moans of pleasure as I did. After several minutes of that, I told her, “Cum for me, baby.”
My genie’s magic worked a charm and she convulsed around my cock. I could feel her cunt spasming and squeezing me as I pounded her through her orgasm. When she came down from her high, she looked at me with eyes of absolute adoration. “Holy shit,” she said.
“Cum again, sweetie,” I told her and she immediately shot off, this time caught by the surprise of the sudden orgasm that ripped through her. I repeated this pattern, letting her catch her breath just a moment before bringing her off again, over and over. After the 8th or 9th orgasm, I finally pulled out and sprayed my cum all over her tits and stomach.
“Thankyouthankyou,” she whispered as she lay on the desk, limp and spent.
“Nono… thank you, Jocelyn. I think you’re going to be one of my favorite employees,” I said with a smirk. “Feel free to rest as long as you need to. I need to get home with Laurie. You can lock up when you’re done?”
“Yes, sir… wait… what about prepping?”
“I guess we’ll have to meet again tomorrow night for that. Is that a problem?”
“No, Sir. Not at all, Sir.” Her eyes flicked down to my crotch, “Not even one little bit, Sir.” Her tongue hungrily licked her lips.
I gave her a wicked grin and finished getting dressed before escorting Laurie out of the office.
As we walked down to my car, I asked my little genie slut, “Laurie, you really had no idea about my father’s little world?”
“No, Master. When you and Mistress enslaved me it was the first I ever knew about magic or anything.”
“So you weren’t after his power and connections?”
“Of course not, Master,” she said, sounding genuinely insulted.
“Whatever,” I said and waved my hand. It didn’t matter whether she was after power and prestige or just money. The fact was, she’d swooped in and been happy to be a whore. The only thing that surprised me was why would Dad have bothered? He had his pick of the litter of women. Sure, he didn’t have a sex genie anymore but he could just hire whomever he wanted and give them a couple month in this place, right? What were you thinking Dad?
“Come on you dumb cunt, let’s go home and have some fun with Rhonda.”
Laurie sniffed slightly but smiled, “Yes, Master. I can’t wait to see Mistress again.”
We rode home in silence, me lost in my thoughts, Laurie probably just wondering what flavor of bubblegum tasted best.
---
Unfortunately, Rhonda wasn’t home when we got there. All I found was a note, “Lover, enjoy our new toy. I’m going to do some research for the next couple days. I know you’ll do great. Call me if you need anything but be sure to have plenty of fun. The sky's the limit for us!”
The cloud of a bad mood that had started at the office was now bubbling over. “Come here, slut!” I said to Laurie.
“Yes, Master?” she said as she stepped up.
“I hate you,” I said to her. There was no need to hold back anymore. I didn’t need to be nice to the bitch. I was her owner now.
Her dopey, wanton look evaporated into a pained look like I’d never seen. “Master, I’m so sorry, Master. What have I done. How can I be better?” She dropped to her knees in front of me, pleading.
I cupped her chin and held her gaze, “You dumb pathetic cunt. You’ve already done it. I like you as a broken, submissive sex genie. I hated the old you, bitch.”
“I understand, Master. That’s not me anymore. But if you need to punish the old me, please do, Master. Her body is my body and therefore belongs to you.”
“I wish you looked and talked exactly like you used to,” I told her.
She shimmered slightly and suddenly I was confronted with the old Laurie. The gold digging bitch, Laurie. The whore who tried to replace my mother, Laurie. I looked at her and lost it. Everything was her fault.
I reached up and yanked her shirt off, leaving her standing there topless, perfect big stripper tits defying gravity. She gasped in surprise but her hard nipples told me all I needed to know about her mood. I smacked one and the bitch didn’t cry out. She moaned like some kind of cheap nympho whore. “Thank you, Tommy.”
“Call me, Master, Bitch!” I snarled and twisted them harder. She just moaned. “You like that?” I asked with a cruel smile.
“Yessssss… Master,” she said.
“I didn’t know you liked it rough, bitch?”
“I didn’t before… Master. But any way you touch me is perfect, Master.”
“I’m going to fucking use you tonight. I wish that every horrible name I call you becomes a tattoo on your body. Okay, bitch?”
“Yes, Master,” she said as the word ‘bitch’ scrawled across her left boob in gothic lettered ink.
I grabbed and twisted her nipple, pulling her behind me until we were in the kitchen where I shoved her onto the cool granite countertop face first. “Good. I wish you’d love this treatment more than any sex you’ve ever had but you can’t come from it no matter how good it feels. Understand you dumb cumdump?”
“Yesss, Master. Thank you, Master,” she squirmed. Her cunt started visibly leaking down her legs as her bunched up skirt left her fully exposed. I took my belt off and cracked it menacingly. Or at least I thought it was with menace. But rather than act fearful, she simply whimpered and begged, “Please, Master. Hurt me.”
I did. I brought the belt down on her ass until it was bright red. She loved it. I yanked her by the hair and flung her on the couch where I whipped her big balloon tits. She loved it. Finally, frustrated, horny and angry, I ordered her to spread her legs and I whipped her cunt.
“Thank you, Master. Thank you, Thank you. I want to cum so bad but I can’t. Thank you, Master,” she babbled as I whipped her. She held her cunt open for me in the most pathetic, broken display you’ve ever seen.
I couldn’t take anymore. I yanked my pants off and slammed my cock into her tight hole. I felt it bottom out, just as I became fully encased in her. She screamed a mix of pain and pleasure and I held her ankles wide, hammering into her without mercy or care. She just stared at me with adoration, wincing slightly with each thrust but moaning louder and louder as well. “Yes… Hurt me… Hurt your dumb pain slut, Master. Fuck me… use me… own me.”
“Is this the best fuck of your life, rapemeat?” I snarled, slamming my hips hard into her juicy cunt. The squelching noises of her wet cunt filled the room with the obscene sounds of our sex.
“Yes, Master!”
I grabbed her tits and squeezed my fingers into them, pushing deep which she obviously loved.
“So much better than your father!” she yelled.
I snapped. “Dont’ fucking talk about my father, whore!” I said and I smacked her tits hard.
“I’m sorry, Master,” she squealed as I rained blows down on her. “Thank you, Master. Punish me for displeasing you, Master.”
Thrust after angry thrust, I gave her everything I had. Looking back, I’m not proud of that moment. It was probably a low moment for me but I didn’t know it at the time. At the time, all I could think about was the gold digging fuck toy spreading her legs and begging to be hurt and abused. So I did.
An hour later when I collapsed on top of her, I was spent. I’d shot two loads into her eager cunt and one in her ass. She’d done everything I told her. Compliant. Wanton. Subservient. I lay there next to her, watching as my cum leaked out of her abused cunt onto the tiled floor. On top of that, her body was covered in tattoos, a memorial to all the horrible, degrading things I’d called her.
“Laurie?” I asked.
“Yes, Master?”
I paused, unsure about how to ask the question I’d kept myself from asking. I could never know what was in my Dad’s head but Laurie’s truth was open to me with a simple request. “Did you love my Dad?”
“Of course, Master.”
“I wish you went back to how you looked earlier today,” I said and her body shimmered back to its perfect form with once again unblemished skin.
Fuck! I’m such an asshole.
---
I stayed away from Laurie for the next couple days and threw myself into work at the office. I didn’t want to think about how I may have misjudged her. She may have been a gold digging bitch but that didn’t mean she didn’t also have feelings for my Dad. And maybe he’d had feelings for her too. Maybe she’d actually given him some happiness after Mom. I thought he’d been using her for sex… but given what his office was like, that obviously wasn’t what it was. Or at least not all it was.
Jocelyn and I worked late into the night every night that first week. She gave me the crash course on the business and the clients as well as the people that would be at the all-important party. In particular, the Senator. We needed his vote and those on his sub-committee so that this bill would be killed off before it became problematic for our business.
When the party rolled around, I wasn’t 100% sure I was ready but I knew I needed to be. I was standing in front of a mirror wearing a tuxedo that just didn’t feel right. I’d barely seen Rhonda this week and actively avoided Laurie. Jocelyn wasn’t there to help me get dressed. I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. I felt like a child playing at adult games for the first time in my life. I thought back to my father, trying to imagine what he’d do in this situation. He’d use all the tools at his disposal, I realized.
“Laurie,” I called out. Despite not being anywhere nearby, she instantly popped into the room with a soft crack of sound. Looking at her stunning beauty, I couldn’t help but remember how she’d looked before. After I’d tried to break her. The image still both aroused and haunted me.
“Yes, Master?” she asked. She’d not mentioned or asked about the destruction I’d ravaged on her body. Instead she’d behaved as if nothing had happened. Or worse, that what had happened was perfectly fine.. She smiled at me as I sat on the bed. Her blonde hair and curvy body completely nude. Her fingers teased at her nipples as she talked, like she was always ready for me… which I guess she was.
“Can you make this tuxedo fit better?”
“Of course, Master,” she said and suddenly every tight spot felt slightly looser and every loose spot felt like it was tailored precisely to my body.
“And can you give me the confidence I need for tonight?”
She looked at me and started to say something then simply leaned forward and kissed me. Her tongue danced in mine and she moaned loudly. I could taste tears and I wasn’t sure whether they were from her or me. I’m not sure it mattered. Finally, she broke the kiss sweetly and whispered, “Did that do it or do you still need my magic, Master?”
“No… no… I think that did it. Thank you.”
“Of course, Master. Thank YOU.”
----
The party was a smashing success. Jocelyn was an expert hobnobber, finding all of the people that I needed to meet and expertly guiding them to me, or me to them. Helen, my head of legislative affairs, had thrown many parties with these people before. She knew exactly who to group together and who needed to be kept apart. Her voluptuous body in a thin silk dress didn’t hurt as the mostly male clientele openly oggled her. Somehow nobody’s wives got jealous. I wondered if that was another of Dad’s wishes about the house. Maybe that explained why Rhonda wasn’t jealous of the women I was now fucking.
For me, I couldn’t help eyeing some of the guests. I made a mental note to keep away from the various wives of the guests but the female clients who came alone were very, very attractive. And, curiously, they all came alone.
“Helen, why are all of our female guests alone?”
“One of Mr. Lindsey’s instructions. We send out single invitations to the female clients and “+1” invitations to the men. Mr. Lindsey always felt like it helped to maintain a more… eye pleasing… ratio.”
I whistled, Dad really worked hard to get the magic to cover for his proclivities. I watched one particularly attractive woman standing near the grand piano in the corner. Her slim body was dressed in a long black dress that hugged her skin, showing off her firm, perfect tits. Her skin had a slight olive tone to it and her shoulder length black hair shimmered in the light. But the thing I couldn’t stop staring at were her eyes. The same eyes that were boring into me making me feel as if I was standing here completely naked.
“Thomas Lindsey? This is Senator Henry Finley,” I heard Jocelyn’s voice say from behind me, interrupting me from my thoughts.
I turned around, smiling and reached out my hand, “Senator Finley? It’s so nice to meet you finally!”
“I’m sorry for your loss, Thomas. Your father and I were good friends. He introduced me to my wife, actually.” The man was relatively young for a Senator, maybe 45 and had an iron grip.
“I hope that’s a good thing,” I said with a smirk.
He briefly frowned before realizing I was making a joke and then smiled, “Absolutely. Best thing that’s ever happened to me, son.”
“Glad to hear it, Senator,” I told him.
“Good to see you are keeping with your father’s party tradition. I always do enjoy the… uhhh… scenery… when I’m here.” He smiled an oily smile at me. I know it’s hypocritical but he kind of creeped me out.
“Of course, Senator. We have a lot of important clients. You know how it is. Plus, our business is always under attack by new rules and legislation…” I added meaningfully.
“Geezus, son. Just like your old man. He couldn’t avoid talking shop either. Look, I already told Helen that we’re good to go. I’m getting some pushback from leadership but these technical bills are usually driven simply by whatever the subcommittee decides and we’re going to kill it in the next session.”
“Glad to hear it, Senator. Wouldn’t want anything to put future parties at risk,” I said raising my glass to him.
We clinked glasses amiably and he wandered off. I noticed he pinched Helen’s ass as he walked away, causing her to jump and smirk.
“Is that part of the job?”
“He gets a little handsy. He’s way worse with his staffers though,” she said before she and Jocelyn walked into the kitchen, talking about which guests needed a little more alcohol.
I sensed something behind me and turned to see my stunning girlfriend wearing a tiny black dress with a plunging neckline. “Rhonda? I didn’t think you were going to be here tonight!” I said as I leaned in to give her a kiss. She returned it with ardor, letting me know she’d been missing me as much as I’d been missing her.
“Research, baby,” she said. Ever since she discovered that our genie trick worked she’d become even more obsessed with the subject of magic.
“Well I could really use your help with all these people tonight,” I told her, grabbing her hand.
“I think you’re probably doing fine. See anyone you want?”
“No,” I said defensively.
Rhonda laughed a sexy little laugh before looking at me, “You don’t have to hide from me, baby. No jealousy, remember?”
“I mean… I’d be jealous…”
“Ohh… sweetie… your magical cock is the only one for me… you know that… but I’m not jealous if you want to get some. That girl over there looks very eager to please,” she said, indicating the sultry black haired beauty who hadn’t stopped making eyes at me despite Rhonda’s presence. In my experience, when a chick is eye-fucking you and your girlfriend is standing next to you, it’s a pretty good sign.
“You really think I should duck out on my guests?” I asked. The girls at the company had been impressing upon me all week how important this party was. Of course, they’d also been hinting that my father often engaged in some philandering during these parties as well.
Rhonda whispered into my ear, “Tell you what… how about I… grease the wheels, as it were. I’ll go find Laurie and give her a wish that you’ll have no trouble in fucking the most beautiful woman at the party. And that’s definitely her.”
We’d decided that Laurie probably shouldn’t be at the party. Her noticeably improved appearance was addressable with wishes. Her clear lack of grieving was not. I nodded to Rhonda and then saw Helen out of the corner of my eye. The voluptuous beauty was every bit as hot as my other target and I realized that there was no reason I couldn’t have both. “Tell Laurie I want Helen as well,” I said to Rhonda as I watched the two women.
Rhonda was silent for a moment and I turned to glance at her. She had a slight frown form across her face before she finished mulling whatever was bothering her and her smile returned. It only lasted a moment and I thought I might have pushed too far. Never assume a girl who says she doesn’t get jealous is actually capable of not being jealous. However, she eventually said “No problem, lover. Enjoy your pervy menage.” She gave me a quick but passionate kiss before walking off with a shake of her ass. Her leather sandals padded silently across the hardwood floor as I watched her sexy stride.
I nursed my drink and gave her a couple minutes before approaching the stranger. As I extended my hand she said, “Hello, Mr. Lindsey. So glad to meet you.” Her voice oozed sex.
“Nice to meet you too… though I have to confess, I’m at a bit of a loss. I had to take a crash course in faces and names before this party and somehow I don’t remember yours.”
“My name is Alexa, I’m the Ambassador to Italy,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper.
“Why are we whispering, Alexa?” I asked, playing along.
“Because I’m going to tell you a secret, Mr. Lindsey.”
“What secret is that?”
“I’ve been watching you tonight.”
“Oh?” I asked playfully.
“And I know you’ve been watching me,” she said with an approving tone. “And I know I liked what I saw. Did you like what you saw?”
“I definitely do, Alexa,” I said, emboldened by the alcohol and the knowledge that a sex genie was making things happen for me. “In fact, I’d love to see more. Perhaps I can give you a little tour of the house?”
“I’d love that,” she said, standing elegantly.
I suddenly remembered Helen who was doing her own eye-fucking of me from across the room. I made a subtle nod of my head towards the doors. She obviously understood my meaning and quickly disentangled herself from a conversation she was having. I put my hand on the small of Alexa’s back, guiding her down the hall towards my bedroom. As I guided her down the hallway, I heard the soft click of a door and the telltale wax and wane of the party noise as the doorway was opened and quickly closed. Helen’s heels were quiet on the carpet behind us and I only really noticed because I was making sure to listen for it. Once Alexa and I turned the corner to my father’s study, she instantly pushed me against the wall and kissed me fiercely.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” she said as she broke the kiss. I grabbed her, spun her around and pushed her against the wall, kissing her back just as forcefully. Our tongues danced and we moaned into each other as our hips ground together. Her need was just as strong as mine. Whatever wish Rhonda had done was definitely working its magic. Before we could get complete privacy in the study, however, Helen turned the corner. She had a wicked smile on her lips which contrasted nicely with the doe eyed innocence that her eyes conveyed. Her chest was flush from arousal and her large breasts were heaving attractively beneath her dress.
“Oh goodie, you brought one of your… underlings,” Alexa said, placing emphasis on the “UNDER” in the word.
“We help Mr. Lindsey in ANY way we can,” Helen said with a smile. “I’m Helen by the way.”
“I know, Helen. We’ve met three or four times before. I’m Alexa,” the other woman said, “What’s a girl got to do to get remembered around here?” She laughed it off but I could tell she was at least a little annoyed. Helen’s face scrunched up and I was certain she had completely forgotten meeting Alexa. I couldn’t imagine forgetting meeting her but then again, I’m a guy. Guy’s don’t forget meeting girls that hot.
Helen chose discretion over valor, however. “Of course. I’m sorry, Alexa. It’s been a long couple days and Mr. Lindsey has been working us VERY hard,” she said before kissing me and running her fingers across my engorged shaft.
“I see that,” Alexa said as she eyed Helen up and down. “And do you help your customers in the same way?”
Helen turned her attention from me to look at the black haired woman, “Yes, Ma’am. We’re a… full service firm” she whispered.
“Strip out of your dress, Helen,” said Alexa with a hardness in her voice. Helen glanced at me and I nodded. That was all the encouragement she needed. She seductively pulled the thin, white straps from her shoulders before letting the entire dress slide down her body. The silk slid across her body with a frictionless whoosh and suddenly she was naked, trembling in front of Alexa and I.
“Your employees are very… loyal… aren’t they?” Alexa said. Her voice was hungry and her intentions clear.
“Yes they are. And my father trained them very, very well, I’m finding.”
Alexa chuckled as she took Helen’s hand in hers and drug her to the study. I closed the door behind us and turned around to see Helen and Alexa passionately making out. Alexa’s hand was stroking Helen’s cunt and my head of legislative affairs was already bucking her hips and moaning.
“Such a deliciously needy whore you are, Helen. I always knew you were.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Helen said with a gasp as the other woman’s fingers worked magic on her. I slowly stripped, not willing to take my eyes off of the two beauties. Helen was lost in lust but Alexa would occasionally look over her shoulder and wink or bite her lip. When I stripped off my pants and she saw my cock, however, that’s when she lost it.
“Holy shit, Thomas. That thing is magnificent. It’s absolute perfection.” I knew the magic made it perfect for her but the way she gushed about it still inflated my ego. “It’s been way too long since I had a hunk of meat like that between my legs.”
I smiled and walked up to her, slowly slipping her dress off and teasing her body as I did. “I’m glad you like what you see. I hope you enjoy what you’re about to feel.”
“I’m sure I will, Thomas,” she said and kissed me. The three of us were all practically panting at this point.
“Helen, I’m going to fuck our lovely guest now. You make sure she cums harder than she’s ever cum before. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, sir,” she said with complete eagerness. She dropped to her knees and began sucking my cock before moving to Alexa’s needy cunt . I continued to kiss and tease Alexa while Helen worked her magic on both of us. I lightly stroked her nipples, circling them gently before giving them light little pinches. When Helen really started working the ambassador’s cunt, she was helpless to resist the ministrations of the busty brunette’s tongue. Her knees buckled slightly and I held her up as she had her first orgasm.
“Holy fuck that was good,” she said as she tried to catch her breath.
I pushed Helen to the floor and guided Alexa on top of the brunette’s waiting lips. “Just wait till you cum while I’m fucking you,” I said and I slowly slid my cock into the woman’s warm cunt.
“Oh fuck yes,” she moaned loudly. “I’ve needed this for so long.”
“You like that, baby?” I asked as I rocked in and out of her. I could feel Helen’s tongue stroking the underside of my cock. Presumably it was also delivering continued pleasure on Alexa’s clit.
“Fuck yes. It’s perfect. You fill me so good you fucking stud!” she snarled before descending her head to Helen’s waiting snatch. “Oh my… and she tastes lovely.”
I grabbed the woman’s hips and slammed into her hard and deep. She grunted out with each thrust, losing track of what she was doing. Frankly, losing track of everything. “Is that what you needed? A big dick to stretch this tight cunt?” I asked.
I gave her ass a light spank and she responded, “Oh yeah… just like that… like that… soo good. I’d forgotten what this was like.”
I chuckled and smacked her ass again, “You like being a big cock slut?”
“Oh yeah… oh yeah… much better than my husband’s cock,” she said, the last nearly screaming. Apparently the little slut got off on her cheating. Fine by me, I thought.
“Oh yeah? Your little pencil dicked husband isn’t enough for you?” I asked as I pounded her harder and harder.
“Hank’s a fucking pussy!” she yelled as I slammed her over and over. “Fucking fill me up with your cum you fucking stud.”
Helen mumbled something underneath us but the mouthful of Alexa’s cunt didn’t make understanding her possible.
I just kept ramming into her over and over until we both started feeling our orgasms rise. “Yes… fuck me stud… fuck me like my limp dicked husband can’t… fuck… fuck… fuck.”
I smacked her ass and snarled, “A slut like you needs a big cock stud to breed you, don’t you?”
“Yesss!!!” she screamed. “I don’t want some wimp politician’s baby!”
Before I could really process her words, I felt Alexa’s cunt clench and her second orgasm squeezed me hard. That made me cum too, shooting thick ropes of cum into her pussy. At the same time, someone opened the door that, apparently, I’d forgotten to lock. Shit.
“Alexa? Did I hear…” said a familiar voice. I looked up and there was Senator Finley. I pulled out in shock, shooting a second rope of cum all over Alexa’s hot ass.
“What are you doing to my wife?” shouted the Senator.
Shit!
Comments
J B
Ok, I'm now tempted to write a couple large harem tales. One would be regimented and planned and everyone gets the same amount of cock time, mouth time, finger time, etc. The other, chaotic, a stew of highly sexual women forced to find ways to satiate their own needs whilst the harem master picks and pokes and plays with what social structures they set up... ;) IMO both are hellish, just in different ways. Unfortunately I'm already in the middle of writing too many stories, so those'll just have to wait for now. Fwiw submitted first six chapters of a genie tale. No sex yet, lotta backstory...
it's the focus that I know I'm lacking. Harem stuff is pretty hot in the abstract (I think we all agree) but just like no man could adequately satisfy 100 women, neither can one author adequately write 20. I'm trying to tighten up the Carly story some now and focus on a few main characters but keep the interesting story lines (I want to really focus on the interactions between Carly/Kyrsten/Louise and to lesser extents Sherry and Victoria). Endless Opportunities is much better mapped out so unlikely to suffer quite so much from "character creep". It also has a definitiive arc to it too and while I might write past that arc, it won't be absolutely necessary.
J B
Given mind control/mind wipe, Helen could be very flat. You could act it up like sexy vs smart times for the CTO, and eventually reveal the wishes that lead to the personality shifts or flatness. Or if the magic & wish-wording suitably subtle, the girls under genie mind-control could be very normal except horny and with no moral qualms over whatever Thomas tells them to do. I don’t dislike the themes you like to write about, and generally I think you do a reasonable to wonderful job with how you cover them. In some ways it’s almost an embarrassment of riches, however, and there’s too much going on to easily track.
You're going to see some recurring themes in most of my stories (Cuckqueaning, submissive females, stockings and chokers, Anal, body writing, etc.). I try to mix and match it and keep it fresh (I think a magical genie harem is sufficiently different to the more "real world" harem that Jay is accumulating, for example) but YMMV. I do appreciate the feedback. I've retooled this chapter already to add some additional characterization to Helen because I think Thomas was right... she was SUPER flat (even for erotica) and, frankly, the story would have read better if she was a random party goer he brought in... Hopefully the "final" version will make her feel a little bit more well-rounded (or, if not rounded, at least more interesting and deep).
J B
Nice foreshadowing through this chapter. As others've mentioned elsewhere this appears to be the weakest of your current stories. In addition, you seem to be mildly remixing your themes between stories. The endless wish story shares a lot with Carly with cuckqueening and apparently harem themes, for instance.
Thanks for the typos... I corrected them. I think some of those criticisms are valid... i probably introduced too many new characters all at once (Jocelyn, Janice, Helen and Brandi) without sufficient characterization. It's a good lesson for the future (as well as the naming... i tend not to put a lot of thought into the names I use... good tip btw). And to top it off, I then started with the character LEAST fleshed out in my head (where Brandi and Janice at least have "hooks"... Helen is pretty flat and uninteresting, I'll admit) to start exploring. Thomas is supposed to be kind of a dick. That was partly a stylistic choice (I wanted to see if I could write in that voice... apparently I can so... hurray ;)... Part of that is narrative (his arc throughout this... which you kind of start to see in this chapter) is to grow up and stop being the entitled kid. Striking the balance between length/story progression and characterization is tricky. All of my stories COULD be longer. The conversations COULD be longer. The action COULD be less focused on the sex. But it's a tricky balance and I'm not really sure where the line is. Realistically, there's a different line for every reader which makes it impossible. The last criticism is easy to address, however. The stakes are supposed to be meaningful for Thomas not just for the company so I need to punch that up a bit in the beginning. Don't worry about the negativity. I can take it just fine and, IMO, this isn't even negative. This is great constructive feedback that I can use to improve the story. Thanks for responding (and your English is terrific... don't sweat anything).
Some typos I've noticed: I could fear her cunt spasming The skies the limit for us! sucking my cock then licking Alexa’s cunt - there should be a comma or a word somewhere In my oppinion, this story is the weakest of your series. Thomas feels like kind of a douche, Laurie is not enough of a character to be interesting in any way and Rhonda, while having potential, doesn't actually have that much screen time. The women of the company are generic, oversexed teenage fantasy characters. And two of them have names starting with the letter J with approximately the same length, therefore I have no chance distinguishing them (good rule is to have names starting with different letters or if you have too many characters, make the names obviously different, for example with different number of syllables). Here you've set up a cliffhanger that doesn't make me feel anything, because the stakes aren't really personal to the characters. There are no consequences for Thomas, only for the company that I don't care about. That's a lot of negativity I just put here. The thing is, I didn't hate it. It's stylistically well written and the sex is hot, it's the plot I have problem with. It's just not quite there with Carly. Sorry for the clanky expressions at places, English is not my first language and I still struggle with expressing my thoughts ocassionally.
