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Journal #5
🕑 Added 2020-01-11 00:22:19 +0000 UTCToday, I'm going to smile through the darkness.
I was reminded of the darkness inside my heart last night. It's been incredibly difficult to not go into a self-loathing spiral, but I'm constantly reminding myself that I want to be better... and incessantly punishing myself doesn't make me better. It only punishes myself and the people around me for my past mistakes or flaws that I need to work on rather than actually doing anything productive.
So, i hate myself today. But I will not give myself the satisfaction and will keep smiling. I'll keep telling myself that I'm here - so what am I going to give to the world? Negativity? Self-hatred? Insecurity? No. I'm going to give them a smile. I'm going to give them reasons to smile, too. I feel worthless, but I'm determined to find worth in myself today. No matter how small. And at the end of the day, I'll lay down and reflect and be proud of those things.
There's a time to punish yourself. Now's not that time.
Let's be kind to ourselves today, okay?
frivLove
Comments
Juan Ruiz
That phrase is very good !
Alexis Lee
Parent yourself like you would treat an animal. Be firm, set boundaries but no kicking! Constant love! You are GREAT <3 <3 <3
Ember Rose
Frivv, you are a gift =)
You give us a million reasons to smile every day! <3 YOU HAVE WORTH!!!
I am an abyss gazer, it is the closest think I have to religion. Your kind voice pulls me back.
unleashluis22
I am glad that you are taking the time to acknowledge the feelings you have today, positive or negative. It's important to let those emotions out from time to time, but I'm glad you're able to counter that with a goal to just keep smiling and find more positives. For what it's worth, you put a smile on a lot of faces every day, even if you're not streaming or releasing a video, because we know that each day you're working harder and harder to take care of yourself, and sometimes that's all we ask of you. I hope that we in return put a smile on your face; know that we're here for you always! Be strong, but be gentile <3
💜💜💜
Phillip Coe
We’re here to love you. Especially when you don’t love yourself. Things may be dark now, but your light still shines. Keep burning, Lauren. We’ll help you stoke the fire ❤️
Brian Billadeau
Hang in there Frivvi. You'll get better and find happiness someday. I wish there was more we could do to help, but know that we are here for you and fully support you. Much love. ❤
If it help, you make me smile 😊 you're a wonderful person and make sure to remember that always!
Lambent Regret
Hell yeah, Friv!
Tig
<3
Erin McLean
You're doing great, much love to you.
Mish
Keep ur chin up ya know ? Take little steps in this marathon to save your energy for the hurdles you’re doing a great job right now don’t forget that you just trying is more then enough keep it up sunshine 💛
Erin McLean
Remember though sometimes a good mope is okay! Acknowledge your hurt, and then let it pass. Just don't repress it. That will only make things worse. Acknowledge your hurt and your pain, and acknowledge things suck for as long as you need to before you go back to trying to smile and love people.
Tony XM
💖💖💖
Asda of York
be gentle, i love you <3
drewwu
frivGuns stay strong frivvi ❤❤❤
