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Journal #7
🕑 Added 2020-01-14 04:39:27 +0000 UTCI DID IT!!!
To be completely honest - I woke up today feeling the same as I have the past couple weeks. Didn’t get very good sleep, didn’t feel very loved or special and just had the darkness hanging over me like the rain cloud following a character in a cartoon. I guess it’s just one of those times. Hormones are still messed up, depression episode is going strong, choked down a panic attack after a talk with Tyler last night that made me realize we may not be right for each other, feeling drained and numb....
BUT. I told myself that I was going to make the most of this day and try to put in as much effort into making people smile as I could. I spent 2 hours responding to DMs, streamed for 4 hours when I didn’t think I could make it to 2 hours, filmed (and about to film for another hour!) and going to end off my day with yoga and reading.
So, I did it. I pushed through. I found purpose and chugged on. I’m really proud of myself. It makes me feel weary thinking it may always be like this and I’ll have to put in so much effort just to get some pep in my step and life in my stride, but I keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time. If that overwhelms me, then I think of it in hours, minutes, the present. And it helps.
Breathing. Baby steps. I can do this.
Thank you everyone!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Comments
Matt Wahl
You tried Frivvi and at the end of the day that’s all we can do sometimes but it’s the constant effort over and over that creates good fulfilling results. Your journal entries have forced me to reflect on my day, one day at a time and make some changes that I was previously afraid to. I bet this happens with a lot of us to after we read them. Grateful always for you being bold and sharing with all, and all that you do for the ASMR community. 💙💙
ACB
Sending love to you always. I’ve been finding things quite difficult at the moment and taking it day by day has even seemed overwhelming. Thank you for reminding me that I can also take it hour by hour and minute by minute when necessary. I truly believe you’ll be in a place where having a ‘pep in your step’ is just a little bit easier soon. Praying for that time to hurry up and arrive for you x
kirakira. peach
U might feel smol or weak, but you're a fighter! Proud of you Lauren ❤️ And speaking from personal experience, please don't decide too quickly while you're in a very bad state of mind...when you're better, you will see things clearer Dear ✨
Finnigan
So proud of you! Don't make any major decisions while your brain is lying to you. Just keep pushing through minute by minute if necessary ❤
I'm proud of you, but don't forget to focus on finding your own reasons to smile too. Helping others is great, but your happiness makes helping others even easier.
Juan Ruiz
I am so proud of you. You are freaking awesome!
Mooshty
Proud of you for pushing through it, its really hard to feel like its not going to change or get better.
Thats wonderful Lauren I happy you were able to do it in a way that worked for you. Thanks for sharing with us. Love ya Bud🧡❤💙💜💗
Stephen Lincoln
You did fine tonight Ma'am. One step after another is enough sometimes. I'll still be around, and don't plan on taking off anytime soon. <3<3<3
Dima Horn
Proud of you Frivvi <3 <3 <3
Justin S
Frivvi, you can do this I believe in you, you can keep on going, you are worthy, you are enough ❤️
Tom (Zoigle)
Yes :D You did well. Wouldn't have been able to tell you were fighting that fight on the inside if i were someone who just popped in randomly, you kept the positivity and hype going! You certainly made me smile. I'm sorry that the clouds are still there, i wish i could fix that somehow...but you've gotten to the other side many times, i believe you can do it again. And hopefully, your hard work will pay off and make the darkness stay away this time. Loved stream today my dude!
Daniel Ringe
So proud Frivi!❤️ I hope you know how truly impressive and am amazing that is!
drewwu
these are strides in the right direction ❤❤❤
Tony XM
Hecking Awesome! 💖💖💖
Emily Cromwell
Love you so much!! 😊❤️
Lambent Regret
Proud of you! Now remember this post next time you feel like it's going to be an impossible day!
Hummerdummer
I love you, I believe in you, you can do this 💕💕💕
unleashluis22
That’s awesome! Stream was really fun, keep up the hard work. You’re doing great ❤️
Ciara Rose Richardson
💖💖💖
Phillip Coe
So freaking proud of you. YES! Keep pushing. Keep finding purpose. Keep moving. Keep breathing. Just keep going. I love you so much.
Asda of York
you got this, i love you <3
Tig
Don't forget to add "keeping up with journal entries / patreon" to that list. Great job on today.
chris pacos
I had a crappy day today, but seeing you singing on twitch and being silly put a big smile on my face 😊 thanks for spreading the good vibes.
Blain Eno
Yes, you can do it! We're here and we love you!
Lance Bates
❤
Al
You got this Frivvi!
Dom
love you
