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Chapter 66-69

🕑 Added 2025-07-26 07:57:36 +0000 UTC

Comments

Matthew Claude West

Kills serpent* behold the power of hyperbolic angst!

daniel koval

On one hand it was a very good chapter, well written with a good fight scene. On the other hand the constant Mary Su is really starting to grate. The fact that the MC just keeps getting handed power ups as the plot demands without any real struggle or loss along with the lack of character growth is making this story go down hill quickly. Show don’t tell, is really needed along with a LOT more in depth looks at all of the characters. The audience needs to see their struggles, their thoughts, motivations and goals. As it sits now, we the audience, know the basic goal of “get to the throne of minor duchy”. Ok why should we care, there has been little meaningful character interaction, no real growth on the side of the the main characters, not any decent interaction, no real struggle and set backs overcome. It’s just “powers as the plot demands” and “here’s and easily solved enemy with no real consequence”. As an author you really need to slow down the plot in the next few books and make us care about the characters, explore the world and world build, focus on giving everyone depth and their recovery from the breakneck action of the first two book.


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