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Mystique Soldier Ch.22

🕑 Added 2022-05-18 00:08:13 +0000 UTC

Comments

Solomon Lam

You're definitely right, quite tired myself so forgive some errors! I meant to say unfired Chekhov's guns; ideally you'd definitely want to have the payoffs of Chekhov's guns, yeah! I'd be definitely curious to see how you handle the threat of power levels and a runaway power curve. You've probably already planned to include this, but I'd definitely like to see Harry diverge from the game's objective system. For instance, he might decided an exp payoff isn't worth sacrificing his sister (obviously this is an extreme example). It'd also be interesting to see his trust in the system shaken, especially given how it's been built as a cornerstone to how he acts. Anyways, already counting down the days till the next chapter! Any way I can convince you to give up on MGO and reduce the cycle to 8 days?!

Robs511

Don't worry about it. Wasn't offended or anything, just explaining some reasons for why it was lacking these things. I do have a lot of stuff planned for the dungeon but I wanted to give it a proper pov; I just decided it wasn't the time yet for that (plus I was coming off from a very bad couple of days in terms of writing, and just wanted to move the plot along). I might be wrong here (not too familiar with the term, aside from a quick google search) but isn't Chekov's gun something you'd want here? World Level is going to play a very relevant role in the fic, as I slowly move the pace of marvel timeline to suit this story. Cause otherwise the first Avengers plot will end up in 2012, which is almost 5 years away. And in 5 years I see Harry as....too op to hang around with Avengers honestly lol. He'd probably be all ready for some galactic adventures. And lastly, thnx mate, appreciate the words. As long as I get my stupid tired brain sorted out, I can promise you'll be in for some fun chapters ahead ;)

Solomon Lam

Thanks for the reply, reading back I definitely came across harsher than I intended. I certainly feel that the balance in the last two chapters was better kept than in this one, though I can certainly sympathise with the need for slower chapters. I tend to see fanfiction chapters like tv episodes in a season: each one needs to be able to stand on its own while also fitting into the larger plot. The waiting and anticipation definitely means compared to a chapter in an actual novel, I tend to be far less forgiving. I definitely sympathise with trying to write content, and I've written my fair share of filler chapters. You're definitely right that dungeons alone wouldn't have been an interesting concept, but I was definitely hoping you'd have introduced more innovations. For instance, you described the enemies as more adaptive avoiding his gun. Seeing that being stretched, with Harry having to establish more concrete plans beyond duck and fire would be nice. Maybe have the dungeon in sections combined with mystery elements, where he has to unlock a door while facing increasing swarms of enemies? Just throwing ideas out, but I definitely don't think 'dungeons' itself necessarily can't add anything. I'm definitely looking forward to the action in the next chapter though! I can definitely see in terms of 'world level' increasing, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, just slightly worried these would end up being Chekov's guns. I'm confident you won't let that be the case though! Regardless, I love the world you've created. Somehow you've managed to blend gamer elements with the more dynamic and fluid elements that make a good read, so I definitely hope to see how you progress!

Robs511

I think the last three chapters were quite balanced in action and slice of life, no? It was only this chapter where action took a back seat because I wanted to move the plot and cover the final moments of Hogwarts. If I wanted to I could've definitely added all the stuff you mentioned and more, but that would've meant taking another day or two (after delaying the chap two times already) or cut the chapter in half and have another one to cover the rest of Hogwarts events, slowing down the pace substantially. I eventually went with this version cause we've already had a full instant dungeon's clearing in the last chapter, and it wouldn't have added anything. Also, you're about to get plenty of action in the next mission, so felt its better to just set the events in motion quickly. Ancient one and the rest of the cameos are direct reactions to World Level increasing. They're the deciding moments of Odin, Ancient One, and Pierce (and many others that I didn't add) being influenced by system's interference, thus changing the timeline. And I've got quite a few things planned for the next mission, so you'll get an idea of what Harry will be facing as he grow more and more powerful ;)

Solomon Lam

Hopefully we'll see more interaction between Harry with Rose and Dorea. In my opinion it's better to have diversity within a chapter rather than by chapter (ie don't have only convos in one and only action in another), even if it's not always feasible. I feel like you could have thrown in more action in the dungeon rather than gloss over, or even have action from another character (e.g. maybe Dori's bitchiness means others try to challenge her). Using POVs of existing characters such as Rose would be nice (e.g. she probably notices how students avoid confronting her). I imagine you've introduced the ancient one and Odin pov for good reason, seriously hope it isn't just putting them for the sake of it. Anyhow, curious to see what threats you'll use to keep the tension up against an ever more powerful Harry.

Robs511

Very true. And I shall take this to mean you liked the chap :D

Rokatsa

Stories with nothing but action tend to dull quickly. You need the Slice of Life moments of either training montages and just general interactions to give the minds some rest, cause all work and no play makes Harry a dull boy.


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