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Naruto: The Outsider's Resolve: CH_274
🕑 Added 2024-07-17 23:14:34 +0000 UTCThe first day was quiet.
Takuma had arrived at Maruboshi's house around six and was tucked into a futon by seven after a shower and re-application of his bandages. The next day, Maruboshi opted to take a break from his usual day-to-day to look after Takuma and waited for him to wake up, but noon passed, and he stayed asleep. Maruboshi didn't disturb his sleep, and when Takuma finally woke up, it was already four in the afternoon—he had slept for a total of 21 hours without waking up.
Maruboshi served him food and sat at the table with him while he ate. He didn't eat much, if anything, and mostly picked on his food, pulling the meat off the fish bones but rarely ever bringing it to his mouth, seemingly too tired to lift his hand up. His head slumped to the side, and he had a hollow, glossed-over look in his eyes that worried Maruboshi, but he didn't say anything—not yet.
After fifteen minutes of silence, Takuma finally spoke. "Sensei... I-I'm sorry for showing up here like that," he sniffled, "I don't know what came over me; I just..."
"It's okay," Maruboshi said with a comforting smile. "I'm glad that you came to me."
Takuma nodded with his eyes closed. His face twitched with emotion as they threatened to overflow, and he quickly hid them by raising his head to the ceiling and pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned back into his chair. He calmed down soon, bowed his down and returned to poking at the food.
"I promise I was fine when I entered the city. I was hap—happy, but I-I don't know what happened." Takuma closed his eyes and furrowed his brows in discomfort. "Everything looked so... different. Out there, I-I...I..."
"It's okay," Maruboshi repeated, "we don't need to talk about it right now." He sensed that Takuma was struggling because he felt the need to explain himself, but he wasn't ready to do it. "I'll be here when you're ready, so take your time. As I said, you can stay here as long as you want."
Takuma nodded and breathed out, relieving the tension in his stiff shoulder. He looked down at the food in front of him and set down his bowl of rice and chopsticks.
"I don't have an appetite," he said.
Maruboshi wanted him to eat but nodded understandingly. Takuma stood up, lightly bowed, and then retired back to his room, where he didn't leave.
———
.
The second day was silent.
Takuma seemed worse than the day before. He never left his room the entire day despite Maruboshi's requests to eat something, but he said he wasn't hungry. Even when Maruboshi left food at his door, hoping that he would eat something, the only thing touched was the bottle of water.
When Maruboshi replaced the water bottles at the door, he heard the faint sounds of sobbing beyond the door. It wrenched his heart, but he knew it wasn't time for him to interject. Takuma needed to be ready to talk to someone before he could be there to listen and support him. What he needed right now was normality and Maruboshi was ready to provide it the moment he put himself together just enough to receive help.
———
.
The third day finally saw progress.
Maruboshi rose up early at sunrise and wasn't expecting Takuma to wake up until later, but he was surprised to see him step out of his room just as he was about to sit down for breakfast. He was in the kitchen setting his food on a tray to take it into the living room when he heard footsteps and looked up to see Takuma appear at the doorway.
"Good morning," said Maruboshi with a smile.
"Morning," Takuma replied, looking bleary. His hair was a mess and there were tear streaks on his face that he didn't seem to notice.
"I'm setting up breakfast, so go wash up," said Maruboshi, gently nudging him to do something instead of asking him if he wanted to eat because he felt Takuma might refuse. "You'll find a fresh set of toiletries in a basket inside the washroom. Come back quick; the food will get cold."
Takuma nodded with a hum and went to the washroom at the speed of a sloth.
Maruboshi waited until he heard the washroom door close and then moved quickly to set up another serving of the meal for Takuma. He set everything up on the floor table in the living room and then sat down to wait for Takuma when he noticed the two meals looked similar. He realised his mistake and went back to the kitchen with Takuma's meal and doubled the quantity, not only because he hadn't eaten in nearly two days but also because Takuma was a youngster with a naturally heavier appetite than an old man like himself.
Takuma returned with a wet towel around his shoulders. His face was now clean, but the look of sad apathy remained as he sat down.
"Dig in," Maruboshi said when Takuma looked up at him. He also restrained from looking at Takuma so as not to make him feel conscious and create a normal atmosphere.
Takuma lethargically picked up his bowl of rice and chopsticks and ate slowly in small bites at first. As he ate, the bites became bigger, and his hands moved faster. For the first time since he had arrived, Takuma looked alive as he scarfed down his food. By the time Maruboshi had made a quarter of his way through his smaller meal, Takuma had wiped all of his clean.
"Do you want more?" asked Maruboshi with a smile.
Takuma sniffled and shook his head repeatedly as emotions threatened to overflow once again. "I couldn't cook or go out to eat food because it might've attracted suspicion. I ate the same MREs for two months; they weren't good."
Maruboshi knew that Takuma was going on a long mission because his last letter had said that he wouldn't be able to write for a while. He didn't know the details, but from context, it seemed that Takuma was behind enemy lines and had to survive off ready-to-eat meals made for shinobi.
"We ate at inns and restaurants on our way back, but homemade food is different," Takuma said, sniffling, as he raised his bowl of miso soup. "Thank you."
This was a good sign, Maruboshi thought as he nodded. Takuma had opened up on his own without any nudging from him. He considered it was good progress for now and decided not to pry him to open up more. But the meal was over, and he thought that Takuma might shut himself back into his room, so he nudged him to stay in the living room.
"The weather is great today. I'll open these doors up, and you can enjoy the breeze." Maruboshi went to push the sliding doors that opened up to the green garden that had an old persimmon tree, a tomato patch, and a flower bed. On the weekends, he would often sit on the engawa (open platform outside the room) to meditate and gaze at his garden to relax, and he thought it would do Takuma some good.
To his delight, Takuma didn't go back to his room and settled down on the edge of the living room. Even though he blankly stared into nothingness, it was better than being in the dark behind closed doors. Maruboshi sat barely inside Takuma's peripheral vision so that he was aware of his presence in case he wanted to talk.
That day, Takuma sat unmoving in the same spot and returned to his room after dinner without saying another word throughout the entire day.
———
.
On the fourth day, Takuma started the day by taking a bath. He still looked grim, and there was a deep misery in his eyes, but the quickness had returned to his body; the day before, he dragged his feet like a terminally ill person, but now he moved like a shinobi— balanced and light-footed.
In the afternoon, the student and teacher duo sat opposite each other in the living room with cups of tea before them. It was different from yesterday in the sense that Takuma hadn't looked at Maruboshi other than when the latter had spoken to him briefly throughout the day—but today, they sat facing each other, and he felt that Takuma was ready to talk. And he was correct.
"I'm sorry you had to deal with my behaviour for the past few days," Takuma said as he cupped his teacup. "I don't know what came over me. I was overwhelmed by... everything." He sighed deeply. "I have been so up my ass that I've disturbed you and caused such a ruckus. I'll start looking for a place to live from tomorrow and will be out of your hair as soon as possible."
"Take another week before you start looking. I like the company, and it gives us time to catch up," Maruboshi said and sipped his tea to let a silence separate the topics. "What happened out there, my child?"
Takuma scrunched his face and scratched his head. Maruboshi understood that the prospect of sharing brought him pain because it made him think about all the terrible things that had happened. Sharing helped, but things often had thorns which scratched as said things came out.
"Did I tell you about the girl?" said Takuma.
"The little girl from the refugee camp?" Maruboshi recalled one of Takuma's later letters. During the early days, he had sent a letter mentioning an incident on his way to the camp without going into any details, but then, in one of the later letters, he discussed that incident about a refugee camp.
Takuma nodded. "When I tortured the Frost shinobi, I was furious beyond any time in my life. I had a cold rage thrashing through my veins—and I channelled it into the torture and interrogation of that shinobi. I hated those men from the bottom of my heart."
Maruboshi nodded. Takuma's hate had come through clearly from the letter.
"The mission I went on was for a small team to infiltrate an enemy-occupied city and collect information about them to send back to the main forces so they could prepare for an attack... The team also had an additional responsibility to weaken the enemy from the inside to make the recapture easy. There were these turncoat wealthy people who had thrown a party of some kind, and a few shinobi were invited—there was a jonin and a few chunin among them. I infiltrated that party as a dishwasher because it seemed like the perfect time to take those shinobi out and really," he stressed, "weaken the enemy." Takuma opened his mouth to speak, but pain flashed across his expression, and he closed his eyes and swayed back and forth for a few seconds. "During the party, I created a water clone with explosive tags inside him, and-and..."
Maruboshi wondered if it was wise when Takuma said when he mentioned the jonin and his plan to weaken the enemy, unable to see how he was planning to take out a jonin—but the moment he mentioned a water clone and explosive tags, a chilly thought flashed through his mind as he precisely understood what Takuma had done.
"... I sent that water clone in, and he blew himself." Takuma cleared his throat. "It killed everyone. The jonin died, the chunin died, the genin died, the turncoats died.... but the hall staff died as well." He paused, and all the nervous, twitchy energy went away as though it had been sapped away, leaving him looking weak like he was the day before. "I became the same as the people I hated... I knew what I was doing, and I still did it... I sacrificed those people to weaken the enemy; I murdered the people I was supposed to be saving."
Maruboshi's heart broke as he looked at Takuma, who seemed so broken. The child in front of him had done something terrible, and it had damaged him to his soul.
"Oh, dear child... you're not the same as them. Look at you now; you're feeling such pain for what you did. This pain proves that you're different. Don't compare yourself to them."
"Anko said something similar about the pain," said Takuma, "but I still feel the same as them."
"Then you're doing yourself a disservice. It's a normal response to feel as you are, but do not let it bog you down. Learn from it and then rise better than you were yesterday. That's the only way," said Marubsohi, speaking as firmly as he could for his student's benefit.
He also saw that Takuma was sinking, so he immediately tried to change the subject.
"Where did you get that scar, Takuma?" Maruboshi pointed to the side of his own lip.
"Oh, this?" Takuma touched his scar. "A ROOT agent gave it to me."
"What?"
"That agent was also the one who ordered my assassination."
———
.
AN [1] :— Takuma isn't going to talk about him killing the shinobi he offered surrender to because he actually doesn't think he did anything wrong there. In Takuma's view, the lives of shinobi he isn't close to means nothing to him. Just putting this out there because it won't show up if I continue this conversation as it's a non-issue for him.
AN [2] :— Should I continue this conversation in the next chapter and dive into ROOT and Rikku? The reason I ask this question is because ROOT stuff won't take much time, and Maruboshi and Takuma have already talked about loosing a teammate before, and the topic of Rikku will be somewhat of a repeat.
If I don't write it, it'll be implied that they talked about all of it.
Now, I want to do it, but I want to make it short and quippy.
I'm asking your opinion— 1) yes, do it. 2) skip it and imply. 3) yes, but keep it short.
Comments
big man
3
Joaquín Repetto
>Motohiro's heart broke as he looked at Takuma, who seemed so broken. The child in front of him had done something terrible, and it had damaged him to his soul.< you mixed up names fiction
Isk0
2 please
Green0Photon
I really like this chapter. Idk what vets are like in real life, but I actually really like the trauma catching up to Takuma. I want 1, the whole thing. Takuma should trauma dump and get the help he needs. And I think it's perfectly fine for him to speak -- it lets Maruboshi react to it. This is also a fairly dramatic important event in this fic. It makes sense for it to be talked about. Same thing would happen in the anime. Honestly, Takuma should still bring up AN1, not just go into detail on AN2. He should talk about how he didn't really care about that situation, in comparison to killing the people or battle. Then we'd also be able to see Maruboshi's opinion of it, and his opinion in reference to helping Takuma's mental health. I really want Takuma to get help from his grandfather figure. And honestly, I'd like to see him talk a bunch about what he learned about ROOT, and how he repressed memories but stuff came up when he killed the guy. I feel like Takuma is incredibly inclined to trust Maruboshi over everyone else, and that Maruboshi can help a lot, and also show us a lot as readers as the POV character.
Alshinrai
3
Anonimacho
You know our author xD
Anonimacho
When you publish this in web novel you will filter the last alpha males, who are annoyed when the protagonists cry xD. For my part, I find it very realistic. Many soldiers suffer this kind of breakdowns after a while on the front. And about your question: 3. He already suffered his death, he already said goodbye to it. I understand that this marks it, but I don't feel it is necessary at this point. What I really want is for Takuma to talk to someone about being a lab rat. Bro, that's way more traumatizing than the whole war arc.
Barney The Dyno
Its kinda crazy how little we know about Maruboshi yet hes easily one of my favorite characters
Dark Oak
go with option 2 to skip and imply
The Duke of Nova Scotia
2 please. I hope Takuma doesn't move out from Miraboshi's. They both need eachother I feel, Takuma for a mentor, and Miraboshi a student.
SunGear
I think 3 would be warrant even if u this repeat of what was previous said in different words
LOOKOUT
I'd say 3 is the best way to go
John Dope
Yes do it, take as much time as possible with it, I think that Maruboshi in particular will have an interesting perspective on Rikku and root
redk1ng0
Thanks for the chapter, and although I would like to see more of this conversation, I think it is better to shorten it a little.
Lazerate
2-3. I, personally, don't want to reread the same events in different words.
Nate Drees
Also yes continue it
Nate Drees
Damn I wasn’t expecting a chapter for like a week. Love it!
