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Naruto: The Outsider's Resolve: Takuma's Relationships
🕑 Added 2023-09-16 14:59:03 +0000 UTC
TL;DR: Need pointers on how to better develop characters and relationships.
So, I'm taking in what you guys are putting out.
In my mind, Takuma is pretty close with all of his friends. Maruboshi, Masaaki, Nenro, Ai, Taro, are what Takuma considers his family.
Then there are other people Takuma has given his trust to. He trusts Sango because she is his doctor and a confidant in his "other" life. He trusts Arisu because she was there as they both built the Narcotics Taskforce together—and was the foundation that Takuma needed to build his idea. He trusts Mikoto because she knows about the Ring, which makes her more closer to Takuma than most people, and she has been his "second" teacher.
Takuma cares about his co-workers in the Narcotics Taskforce. It's a proper professional relationship. As long as it's a work matter, and they're in the right, Takuma will go out on limb for them—that might not extend to the personal side of things—but Takuma respects and value each and every one of them for their role in the Narcotics Taksforce.
There are other people who don't get the spotlight. Takuma's "network"— like Iruka, Aburame Susumu, the genin from the raid mission. They don't know Takuma on a personal level, but they have a positive relationship with him when it comes to shinobi dealings.
But I now realize that the level of intimacy in mind hasn't translated into the words of the story. 100% my fault.
I have been reading comments and some of them point out that the other PoV in the Farm Raid Mission were seen as advertisements for Takuma's good points. It wasn't my intention—I usually do them for one of two reasons: 1) To add information that Takuma doesn't know. 2) To add some freshness by getting away from Takuma—as you guys like when we get see someone else's thoughts.
I will keep the above "advertisement" mishap in my mind as I write other PoVs from now. It's a good thing to be mindful of.
Now, coming to the problem that I need help with.
The "Police Force Drug Plotline" was not that good. I stand by the idea, but the execution failed. For those who get the reference, this was TOR's version of the "Sin Arc." There were a lot of things that could've been cut out, changed up, and explored in a meaningful way.
But the past is the past now. I can't and don't want to change it.
The current problem is correctly portraying Takuma's relationships. I... don't know how to do it better. Takuma moves in a different world from his other friends. I just don't know how to assimilate them into his life.
Masaaki is stuck with the Akimichi, and his prepping for the Chunin Exams,
Ai is stuck in the hospital,
Nenro is a genin who is racking up missions with multiple chunin and is currently prepping for the Chunin Exams,
Taro is new in the Intelligence Department and is doing his own thing.
Maruboshi is too old to go to war. He is already semi-retired.
Others as well have their own life I can't disrupt.
Takuma is moving in a different direction than the others and he is doing at a different pace.
Which in itself isn't the problem. The problem here is how do I show Takuma developing relationships. I have developed relationships before in my previous fic, but I took many chapters to do it, and all the concerned characters were in the same space, doing the same things—which made it easier. Plus, the serious tone of this novel sometimes restricts me from letting up the pressure to do some light-hearted stuff. I end up feeling like I would ruin the vibe if I stray away from Takuma tackling high-stakes stuff.
Right now, I feel like I have no choice but to keep throwing Takuma from one place to another to keep the plot moving. As I once said, Genin Corp genin were different from the Jonin Team genin who trained together from Day-1— the Genin Corp genin are trained to be as flexible as possible, to work with anyone, to follow the orders—Takuma is sort of doing that. He gets put in a new situation, he adapts, improves, and the next situation calls for it, he moves on.
Moreover, currently in Takuma's career, moving from situation to situation is the only way to keep his current progress pace. It's the same concept of switching jobs gets you a higher pay raise than a yearly pay bump in the same company. There will come a time when he will settle down and work in the same place for a good while, but that time isn't now.
So, in short, I want to how do I show Takuma's relationships being fleshed out. Like, with the "War Arc," Takuma going away from the village is already decided, so I will be introducing a new set of characters— How do I make sure that these new characters are fleshed out and so is their relationship with Takuma?
A/N: Ugh this post is so chaotic. But I'm at my parents house with only my phone. This is the best I can do with an on-screen keyboard.
Comments
Liu Zong
In the way i see it this will at last take a 60+ chapter before Takuma backstory finish and he finally can at last seattle down...
Maracuya
I also think it's getting to the point where he won't be able to avoid interacting with mainstay canon characters, and by extension Naruto. As I have said before there are also a lot of powerful characters that were undeveloped in the anime/manga. It would be fun to see a rivalry with a character that did not make a splash in canon, such as the two-tails container.
GN
One other thing I want to point out about the current ARC; that it was primarily 2 major fight sequences with a bit of Root making moves in the shadow. Your previous ARCs felt that they covered more events.(not necessarily duration but I mean key points in the story). The point of this ARC was him going to war but the scheming/sequence of events all happened in the background so we felt a bit distanced
yuuzzlol
What I can say is that you are in a good place to make a "clean slate," so to speak. War is a place where camaraderie and good cooperation are more than essential to prevail, even more so if Takuma wants to get some juicy achievements that will secure him the Chunin position, so it would make sense to develop some lasting friendships and if you manage to take advantage of this and create an interesting character that has good chemistry with Takuma, it could be everything you are looking for. That being said, the chances of Takuma wanting or even being able to relate intimately to someone in such a dangerous and sad environment are very, very low. You would have to do something special like be assigned to a squad, be a partner of a chunnin/jounin, or be the leader of a team. The only excuse I can think of would be that he was given some benefit or responsibility because of his performance in the police force and his relationship with Mikoto/Fugaku. Also, I'll take this opportunity to say that one mistake I see a lot of writers make is forcing the secondary characters' growth to match that of the MC when it doesn't make sense. By this I mean when in fics or anime they make secondary characters grow at the same rate as the mc or even faster just to keep them relevant to the plot. this seems like the biggest stupidity to me and it never looks particularly good. because there are millions of other ways to keep secondary characters relevant. Please, I beg you, do not fall for it. Takuma works his ass off more than anyone else, and he's already left most of his old class behind. If you're going to make Maasaki, Nenro, Taro and the others keep up with him, at least show us that they work as hard or harder than he does.
