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Chapter 157: Peer Pressure
🕑 Added 2020-05-04 19:34:12 +0000 UTCWelcome, great heroes! The matriarch of the Ooze Weaver tribe said, making the odd flag-waving motion as they approached.
Norlocks didnt have their own language. They were asocial creatures and generally not intelligent enough to learn speech until they reached a size impossible by normal standards. The language must have come from the Ooze weavers, and Calvin was pleased to see himself proved correct. Eating the norlocks tongue had given him access to ooze weaver language
Didnt do anything for body language, though.
Rather than assembling into the same size-chevron as before, Calvin simply walked up, copied her salute, and greeted the chieftain in her own tongue.
Greetings, chieftain, my name is Calvin Gadsint. In the week since we last parted, Ive been learning your language, which is quite a beautiful one, I might add.
Youve learned our language In a week. The chieftain said, forgetting her salute and dropping her forelegs to the ground.
Now tell her you only know that sentence and this one explaining it.
That cant be possible, youre
Small? Calvin asked, ignoring Elliots bad advice. Yes, size and authority are often linked in human culture, but not in this particular case. I am the leader of expedition.
Size equates intelligence, actually.
Really? Calvin asked, eyebrows raising.
So the brain keeps growing with the body? Oh man, that sounds so exploitable. Can we dissect some of them? I need it for my biomancy studies. Please? Pleeeease?
Thats fascinating. Calvin tapped his skull. Human thinkmeats are fixed in size, since our heads dont grow over time, so size isnt an accurate metric of intelligence.
Did I just call a brain thinkmeats? Calvin whispered to himself before shaking his head. Anyway, were getting off topic. I reviewed the conversation from a week prior once I had a firm grasp of your language, and realized that you asked us to feed ourselves to the Norlock.
The slime on the prawn-faced spider dripped as it flinched away from him.
Um thats not
Dont worry, Calvin said, holding up a hand. As of right now I am the only human capable of speaking like the People, and I have told my men that you desperately requested their aid. I see no reason to complicate our relationship at this stage.
Calvin lowered his voice.
I might ask you to perhaps rewrite history a little on your end, as well, to prevent future complications.
Already done. The chieftan said, bobbing her body in agreement.
So, Calvin said, glancing up at the many shimmering, slimy mucus sacks full of fish, crude stone tools, and shiny river stones, all of which hung from the branches of trees, looking for all the world like dangling snot. Is all that for us?
Oh my, I was so distracted by your being able to speak that I lost track of The man-sized bug seemed to compose herself for a moment, then gave the same greeting wave as before. Welcome great heroes! Long have our people yearned for the death of the demon known as Yninquiak. Toward this end, we have offered the warrior who could vanquish the demon great treasure, She raised a foreleg and pointed at the snot-bags full of fish and stone.
Welp. Got a good idea of the tribes wealth now, at the very least. Theyre about to get a whole lot wealthier, though.
Once Calvin started selling their ooze internationally, anyway.
I think theyd be an excellent buyer for glass and steel tools, but Id have to find ways to use the ooze for more than a lubricant in order to raise their value. I can tell theyve been able to achieve unbelievable tensile strength with it. I should start there.
I would be overjoyed to accept these treasures, Calvin said with a formal bow.
In addition, I am proud to offer a breeding contract for my daughter, Ykuingi, the finest specimen of breeding age in our entire village.
The giant snot-monster gestured to another, incrementally smaller snot-monster standing beside her, shifting around with apparent nervous energy.
Calvins eyes narrowed. I hate being right.
Come here, Calvin demanded, pointing to the ground in front of him, causing the chieftain to recoil momentarily before scuttling toward him.
Are you serious? Calvin whispered once the leader of the ooze-weavers was close enough. You should be well aware that I dont want to put my seedtooth anywhere near that, and vice versa. Also did I just call my dick my seed-tooth??
I understand you confusion, but I discussed this with the other elders, and they believe that sending Ykuingi along with your expedition for the duration of a breeding cycle would be an excellent way to gain more knowledge about your people, and vice versa. We can honor the letter of our promise to give her first clutch to the heroes while accomplishing diplomatic ends instead.
How longs a breeding cycle? Calvin asked quietly.
Three months.
So let me get this straight. You dont actually want me to have sex with her, and are just taking advantage of the promise to establish a foothold in human relations?
Yes, well summarized.
Im just going to introduce her as a diplomat to my people. The nuance will be a lot better. And Ill only get teased by my friends who already know about my princess stealing skill.
That is fine.
Well then. Calvin said, motioning for the chieftain to step back and raising his voice again. I accept the breeding contract with great enthusiasm! I look forward to breeding the beautiful princess. Ill breed her long, and Ill breed her hard. It will be my solemn duty to breed her so thoroughly that I miss not a single egg in her clutch.
If slimy insect monsters could blush, Calvin was pretty sure Ykuingi would be.
The chieftain burbled a bit of nervous laughter, then cleared her speaking tubes. Ahem. jokes aside. We are very grateful for your gracious acceptance of our gifts. If youll allow me to change the subject, how long to you intend to stay before you move on, and where do you plan on going?
To the far south east and over the mountain range is another tribe of humans, Calvin said pointing. We plan on following the river, cutting a hole through the mountain and establishing a trade route connecting their people with my people.
Cut a hole through a mountain? The chieftain asked, going still. Calvin wasnt sure, but that body language was probably astonishment.
Yeah, why?
N-Nothing, The chieftan said, her many mouthpieces wriggling like a humans fingers.
Well stay for a week before we head upriver, Calvin added, realizing he hadnt given her a timeframe. Id like to avail myself of your hospitality while I finish replacing my barges with more sturdy ones and update some of my equipment.
The chieftain scanned the hundreds of humans with thousands more waiting in the barges. I dont mean to be rude, but we couldnt possibly
Weve got our own food and places to sleep, Calvin said. We mostly want the protection from Warped monsters that your borders offer.
Fair enough, The chieftan said, bobbing. Then if youll be departing in one week, we should arrange for your contract with Ykuingi to begin at that time. Of course you can speak to her before then.
Ykuingi bobbed in acknowledgement.
Is there anything else, before I return to explain our arrangements to my people? the chieftain asked.
Calvin glanced around and spotted the canopy of trees that were obviously groomed to provide a walkway above the fish reservoirs.
Yeah, whats the closest place that your people would be comfortable with me cutting down a bunch of trees? An acre or two?
***Calvin***
Calvin was overseeing the Knick-knacks as they constructed a new Flask to his specification. He couldnt simply add new prefabs to an existing one, he had to create a new one from scratch, as they were literally baked into the cap on the bottom of the flask.
He was aiming to build a handy barging storage device, With things like iron nails, buckets, rope, hammers, planks of wood, and most especially, fully formed barges.
Calvin pictured the imagery on the bottom as a barge on the water with a hammer and saw above it. That would prevent any confusion.
What about a vial for mortally wounded men? Elliot asked. If you could scoop someone up and preserve them on the cusp of death, you could spit them back out when you reach someone like Matthis, who can stabilize the dying.
Theres a thought. Calvin thought, scanning the rapidly receding treeline as the knick-knacks cut and stacked a veritable wall of wood.
Calvins other summons were busily seasoning the wood with the dried ooze weaver mixture, scraping the resulting goop off into the river while still more were assembling the sturdier barges along with the prefabs he wanted in his new equipment flask.
He glanced back down at the raw nem that a knick-knack was massaging into shape while another kept a white hot flame moving around it with inhuman accuracy.
Most of the stones offered as treasure had been shiny river rocks and a few garnets, but there was a single chunk of Nem that was about half a glimmer in size, the most valuable thing theyd given them, probably without even knowing its value.
It gave Calvin the option of expanding his Flask collection.
I guess I gotta bleed now, Calvin thought with a sigh, pulling out a knife and knicking his thumb, wincing as he dripped blood into a vial.
Youre Warped, Too
Already coming in handy, Calvin thought as he started the process of filtering out the Blade Body mutation. Once that was done he would have to uncode it with weak acids, remove the acid, infuse it into a Lure membrane and bake it into the cap by sandwiching it between two hair-thin layers of Nem. It was going to take a couple days at least.
Glad I said we were going to take a week.
So, Baroke said, sidling up to him and throwing his oversized arm over Calvins shoulder. Whos this Ykuingi person? I noticed you refered to her as a she.
She wouldnt happen to be the chiefs daughter would she? Kala asked, sneaking up to his other side.
Shes a diplomat. Thats it, Calvin said, rolling his eyes.
Right, right, but she is the chiefs daughter, right? Baroke asked.
Technically yes. Shes coming with us for a few months to learn about people, then were sending her back home. Thats it.
So shes technically the chiefs daughter, Kala said with a knowing nod.
You know what you must do. Ella said, approaching from in front, finally boxing Calvin in.
I know what youre thinking, but its not really that imp-
Youve got to kidnap her before we leave in a week, Baroke said, jabbing Calvin in the side with his thick fingers. Sweep that eight-legged lumpy snot-monster off her feet.
Theyre called People, Calvin said, enunciating the last word in Ooze-weaver language.
Yeah, I cant pronounce that. Baroke shrugged.
Anyway, every little point of Body counts. You told me you were at thirty-four? Kala asked
What of it?
That means all your physical and Hybrid skills are one point short of an eventual Ability. Kala said. Take the point while you can.
I only have like, one Skill gated by Body, Calvin said, emphatically holding up a finger. Its not that big a deal!
You know how many people would kill to have a mutation that theoretically removes their Body cap? Baroke demanded. Youre just shitting all over the amazing opportunity youve got.
Youve got literally unlimited potential, Ella added. Why pass up on it?
Calvin took a deep breath. Alright, fine, Ill kidnap her and well see if I get the point of Body. Its gonna be tough doing it without drawing suspicion on the humans, though, and its absolutely critical I dont blow relations between our people on a whim. Can I count on you guys to help?
Whachu talkin bout? Baroke said, taking his arm off Calvins shoulders. Its not my mutation. He sauntered off with his hands in his pockets.
I promised Id help Learner with subtext this week, Kala said apologetically, stepping away from him.
Kala! Learner called from the distance, waving. I need you for an excuse!
And there she is now, Kala said, daintily dashing away.
Traitors! Calvin shouted after them.
He glanced up at Ella.
The savage Genosian took one of the fish theyd been offered and bit its head off in one bite, swallowing without chewing.
Ill help if you want. She said between bites of raw fish.
Calvin opened his mouth to take her up on it, then hesitated.
Nah, its fine, Ill do it by myself.
Ella didnt do subterfuge well.
Comments
Vox De Harlequin
I am all in on plan "weird goo human undead monster" hybrids. ... Actually, I'm surprised YPIIAC hasn't yet exhibited a mutation that allows Calvin to breed with any species. It feels on-theme, you know?
ppbrro
“Nah, it’s fine, I’ll do it by myself. ->missing final quote
Joshua Flowers
Lol, gross! Worry not, I'm sure the internet can help with your self reflection.
Landsraad
When he was pledging his fulfillment of duty about the slime princess... My seedtooth flexed a bit... Now I have alot of self reflecting to do...
Pastor Joubert
This was a solid chapter
0xFFF1
With our help, maybe he'll miss not to miss so many?
Macronomicon
P.S. if you spot something wonky, spelled wrong or a weird jumble of words like 0xFFF1 did, post em up here and I'll fix, of course.
0xFFF1
Better hire a spider nanny for those kids he's going to get. It'd be bad if they didn't have the opportunity to be socialized in spider culture in addition to human culture. If Captain Kirk is ready in time, he could give those eggs facials and have a bunch of arachne children. Better than raising some other guy's kids like a fucking cuck and doesn't require sex with a spider, since i dont think spider sex is anything like mammalian sex.
Ziggy
It shows up as bold italic for me. Even right after upload. Weird.
Macronomicon
For some reason Patreon isn't accepting Bold Italic right now, sorry. it's pretty obvious when Elliot is speaking though.
