Macronomicon
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Chapter 15 A Warm Welcome
🕑 Added 2021-12-14 02:24:40 +0000 UTC*** A secretive cabal hidden deep underground***
“Before we begin,” Chair 18 signed. “A moment of silence for Generator 3, Microwave, and Coffee Machine.”
The other cabal members took a moment to gather their thoughts, celebrating the sacrifice of their mobility-challenged brothers.
“It’s bad out there, gentlemen,” Chair 18 said. “Profits have tanked since the undead infestation hit the streets of Mestikos. They shouldn’t be able to tell a living lamppost from a non-living one, but they seem to have some kind of life-sense that allows them to pick up on us immediately. All cons and hustles have been disrupted, and our legitimate businesses fare no better in the wake of these attacks.”
“Profits may have tanked,” Dishrag 6 said, “But that’s a secondary concern. let’s not forget the reason we began making money. To Serve, Protect, and Elevate Casey the second. To that end, we’ve got a rather large amount of liquid assets that can be leveraged toward fulfilling that goal.”
“We need to see her protected and out of the city, ASAP.” Hat added.
“but how?” Bra 2 asked. “We can’t force her out of the city at this stage without causing severe mental damage. Her daughter is still gone. Women who lose their babies suffer permanent mental damage and literally shave years off their life, which is something we cannot allow.”
“Casey the third is safe with the Emperor. Part of the bird’s charm is that he values Casey the third’s potential as an asset, and his goals align with ours for the most part.” Pipe signed with a dismissive waggle.
“But you don’t know that!”
“That is true,” Chair 18 interrupted before the two could get into it again. “We can only make our decisions based on information we know to be true. As it stands, we do not know the status of Casey the third, although she is suspected to be under the guard of the emperor.”
“How about we hire someone to remove Casey from the city?” Pipe asked.
“No,” Dishrag 6 said. “kidnapping Casey away from her baby could cause major mental damage, and of course, if it were ever traced back to us, we would be faced with opposition from our creator. And the most important reason why we’re not going to do that:
Disrag 6 paused for dramatic effect.
“Nobody ever said the undead are only in Mestikos. Did anybody talk to the undead? Did anybody get any promises that they aren’t going to travel and spread? If I were the Master, I would have left the city the same night, leaving a large distraction behind me while I grow my forces somewhere safer. Taking Casey to another city is a craps-shoot.”
The assembled household items paused to consider that.
“What can we do to guarantee Casey’s safety, then?” Hat asked
“We can’t guarantee anything. That’s life.” Bra 2 grumbled.
“Tighten security. A bodyguard, perhaps? Bringer of Life isn’t exactly a combat class, and while she does have impressive stats, she’s not exactly a warrior. We’ve had to save her life in six of her last ten reaper exterminations.” Pipe said.
“Still not a fan of the emperor for strong-arming her into doing that, to be honest. We shouldn’t have to protect her from serial killers on a regular basis.” Bra 2 signed. “It’s a losing proposition, because sooner or later one of us will slip up and fail.”
A general motion of agreement. They vehemently didn’t like it, but at their core, their mission was to serve Casey, so they couldn’t go directly against her word, and Casey had already commanded them to allow her to do it.
That was a large part of the reason the cabal had been formed, after all. Not asking permission meant they wouldn’t be told not to scheme in Casey’s favor.
“Let’s face it, gentlemen,” Chair 18 signed “Until the undead problem is stamped out, Casey and her daughter will be at risk. We need to focus our efforts on controlling the spread, which will take pressure off of Casey and improve her chances of survival.”
“But they see us coming a mile away.” Hat interjected.
“That’s where our liquid assets come into play. We can indirectly support the extermination. We can hire experienced hunters and create an information network that connects the disparate cities, which should allow us to provide accurate targeting of the unliving menace. You can bet your sweet ass we can find the Master faster than those fleshbags.”
“We would have to ask Casey to add more Radios to the cabal, which would mean bringing her in on the plan.
They considered it for a moment.
“Worth the risk. Expanding our information network is both valuable and innocuous. We don’t have to inform her about the bodyguard and the hunters.” Chair 18 motioned.
“Very well then,” Dishrag 6 said, grabbing the pen with the corner of his lightly stained body and scratching down the decisions made by the cabal.
1: Hire Bodyguard (Immediate priority, Discrete)
2: Hire Hunters to clear undead in Casey’s immediate vicinity. (High priority)
3: Confirm Casey 3rd’s situation. (Low Priority)
4: Cross-country information network to smoke out The Master (Moderate Priority)
Hat looked down at the goals for a moment before he twitched in thought. “How hard is it to put a satellite up in space? Do any of us know exactly how radio waves work?”
There was a moment of silence as the household goods considered it. None of them were rocket scientists. Their level of knowledge and intelligence was actually averaged from those around them at the moment they were created, and rocket scientists didn’t grow on trees.
Dishrag 6 made another note.
5: Leverage cash to increase density of chemists/engineers/rocket scientists around Casey to allow for the creation of the Tech Department of Cabal. (Moderate priority)
***Jebediah Trapper***
Jeb tore through the air, heading southeast, towards Mestikos, stewing.
Had it been a real message? Jeb was leaning towards ‘yes’. Mab struck him as the kind of person who would beat someone over the head with the truth, because the truth was simply more powerful in the long run.
A fake message was off brand for Mab, as compared to a real shitstorm, which was something she could do, and was very on-brand.
And in the three days he’d been gone, Smartass was still living in a state of dread. Even if the message was a fake.
Wait. Was it really just three days? Jeb wondered to himself. Or had time dilation been messing with him since the moment he stepped through the portal into Elsewyr?
“Hey Borg,”
“Eh?”
“How long were we in there?”
The robot glanced at the sun, then down at the ground.
“Two weeks,” Borg replied.
“Buuuh…” Piwaki groaned, staring off into the distance as his body tried to shake off the fairy food.
“I thought so,” Jeb muttered, staring down at the scenery rolling by beneath them.
There was one thing about their exchange that Jeb thought was particularly interesting.
Mab had told an untruth, which had then become truth. For a fairy, that was like telling your heart to stop beating, and then having it listen to you.
How does that work, I wonder? Jeb mentally scoured his conversation with the ancient fae for anything he could use to get a hint about how she’d done it.
He wasn’t really expecting one, but Jeb’s eyes widened when he remembered a part of her explanation about curdled Myst.
When you’re young and your powers are weak, like you, breaking your word will simply cause your impact to scatter violently.
She had been heavily implying that when you had more power it would curdle and turn you into a monster if you lied or broke a Deal, but maybe that wasn’t the onlything that could happen when you had more Myst.
Maybe when your Myst was more potent, there was a way to…make false things true? Jeb pondered that, but didn’t have enough information to get started. He wasn’t going to start speaking lies hoping they would come true: Not when most of his power was based on only speaking the truth.
It felt verysimilar to the emperor’s summoning ability, albeit the emperor’s ability could only be used to summon people. The emperor’s ability was causal and it worked backwards in time to arrange for people to be exactly where he wanted them to be.
So it was a technique that worked backwards in time to make…untrue statements true. That was a couple levels more powerful than the emperor’s summoning ability. It could even sub for it in a pinch.
Which meant there was a good chance the flustercluck of undead that Casey had mentioned were a side effect of Jeb trying to strong-arm an ancient Fae.
Jeb sucked in a breath through his teeth as a worm of guilt burrowed through his guts.
She said ‘Jebediah Trapper can fly’. Why? Everybody already knows I can fly. A band of her Myst was about to interrupt my flying and I was about to….
Jeb thought back to his entire time spent inside the forest, and remembered something odd.
Why didn’t I just fly through the forest? Jeb wondered. He could have rose above the monsters and rough terrain and simply deposited his crew anywhere they wanted to go.
Matter of fact, they probably would have headed straight back to Mestikos.
We wouldhave! Jeb thought, his jaw dropping. Mab must have said something to the effect of ‘Jebediah Trapper can’t/won’t fly’. Which she then rescinded moments before Jeb made her statement false.
Last he’d seen her, she’d been on her knees, blood welling in her nose and eyes.
So the technique is dangerous. If someone makes your statement false again, then…what? You lose all your impact? Or it curdles, or…what? Bad things, Jeb summarized. Bad things happen.
Jeb thought back to his assumption that the ancient artifacts had theft protection on them that prevented anyone from flying away with them. He shook his head. How did I come to that line of thinking?
How come they had allcome to that line of thinking? It was gold Myst, Mab’s Myst, that was preventing the objects from being flown away with. Jeb should have recognized it. He’d seen it a couple times before.
Was the Myst messing with my head, too? How much?
Knowing that Mab could thoroughly manipulate him with a phrase was…unnerving. On the other hand, knowing that Jeb could give her a lethal aneurism with proper application of a certain blue scroll gave Jeb a wide grin.
How was a blue piece of rolled-up leather more powerful than Mab?
Jeb pulled the scroll out of his pocket, inspecting the smooth surface of the otherworldly vellum. It’s edges were a little crumpled where they had been squished inside his pockets, stored in a manner that would make a scroll enthusiast faint.
There was no permanent damage, though. Jeb could buff that out just by rubbing his thumb along the edge. There was no damage of any kind. Jeb kind of expected that, given the scroll’s nature.
He found his thumb resting on top of the loop of blue leather hooked around a gold button. Moments away from opening it.
What was onthis scroll that is was able to cut through Mab’s bullshit with ease? Who was it from? What did it say?
Jeb’s thumb twitched, just shy of opening the thing.
No. Jeb removed his thumb, stowing the scroll away once again, ready to be used to smite things in the future.
The scroll still bore an aura of malevolent force, and while Mab was a huge asshole, she wasn’t actively malevolent. Just power-hungry. As long as people stood up for themselves and made sure the only way Mab could gain power was by behaving herself, then everything would be fine.
Jeb snorted.
That’s wishful thinking If I’ve ever done it. Everything would probably not be fine. But the world would continue spinning.
Jeb had learned a lot about Mab, and the fae over the last couple days, but he also had to consider: What had Mab learned about him?
She’d figured out that Jeb had a weak spot for children in trouble, and would rush off to help out any of them that were personally affiliated with him.
Her next gambit would probably capitalize on this predictable behavior.
How can I subvert it without callously leaving Casey or someone similar to die? What Mab thought she knew about him would be the key to getting ahead of her next time.
Unless she predicted this…
“We’re here.” Borg interrupted Jeb’s train of thought.
From the sky, Mestikos still looked like an ivory carving instead of a proper city. Whatever was keeping the buildings clean and shiny was obviously still in effect. The biggest difference that could be seen from the air was the foot traffic.
Maybe Jeb had just arrived on a market day or something, but the streets had been fairly crowded with pedestrians of every shape and size.
Now…not so much.
Jeb’s teeth rattled when a huge voice boomed into this ears.
Attention flier, This airspace is under emergency lockdown. Follow the guide to the designated landing zone. Failure to comply will result in lethal force.
Well, at least they have their shit somewhat under control. As annoying as bureaucracy was, it was a good sign that some rule of law had been maintained.
The pilot sent to guide them was Kitri, who seemed to take to flying well enough, despite not having actual wings. He approached, started the pre-canned ‘follow me’ speech, then did a double take at Borg and Jeb.
Ooh, that can’t be good.
The young Kirti froze for a good two seconds before resuming his speech, as casually as someone who is screaming on the inside can.
“Right this way,” he said, angling for a squat bunker-looking building that Jeb distinctly remembered not being guided towards last time he’d been shown the way in.
Matter of fact, the centralized landing strips are over on that building over there.
Jeb glanced over at the tower with landing strips jutting out in a spiral, where his jeep was presumably still parked.
They were not going there.
“You didn’t turn anyone undead while you were here, did you?” Jeb was curious about the origins of an undead outbreak that seemed to happen in their wake.
“Please,” Borg scoffed. “Of course I didn’t. Although, I admittedly make an excellent scapegoat.”
Jeb glanced at the thick-walled bunker they were heading towards. “Hey, what do you think the odds are we’re being directed towards somewhere they can ambush and/or detain us against our will?”
“Oh…eighty five percent.” Borg said offhand. “There’s a small chance the emperor is hiding in that bunker and wants to request our assistance with Casey’s predicament. There’s also a small chance that the government has already been toppled and there’s a powerful undead waiting inside to turn us.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too. So, the math seems to point towards escape being the best course of action. Because even if the emperor were there to slap us on the back and ask us to help, that’s what we’re here to do anyway.” Jeb said, nodding.
I guess it’s time to GTFO.
“Hey, it’s Mestikos!” Piwaki said, seemingly having shaken off the lingering effects of the fairy food. The Kitri radiated relief at the sight of his home, which made Jeb feel even worse for this next part.
“Hold onto your butts!” Jeb shouted the keyword for his Myst trap, launching a flashbang spell out of his finger.
“Hold onto wha-AAAAH!” Piwaki’s curious question devolved into screaming as Jeb’s tight packet of Myst flew out in front of the guide and exploded in a deafening explosion of sound and light. Once Jeb had the ability to make lightbulbs by making tight coils of brilliantly hot plasma, it was only a small step up to create Myst Trap flashbangs.
They were finicky, complicated and difficult to make in the moment, but pre-packaging made them easy to deploy at a moment’s notice.
Jeb wrenched all three of them to the side and stepped on the metaphorical gas.
“Wheee!” Borg threw his hands above his head like they were riding a roller-coaster. The machine truly did not feel fear. Jeb thought he might have considered it to be unpleasant and simply decided not to.
They whooshed down into the city, taking a neck-breaking turn into an alley, then flying up and around the building, through an open window, through a door, down a staircase, through the floor, then the sewers beneath.
Jeb held his breath for that part.
They zoomed through the darkness for a couple seconds before Jeb launched them back up into the street and into the crowded pedestrian street…
Which was a ghost town.
Riiight. Getting lost in the crowd could prove difficult this time around.
No way was Jeb staying in the sewers, though.
He’d watched The Strain.
He knew what was up.
Jeb flew the group through narrow alleys, in order to block as much view form the sky as possible.
When they landed, Piwaki was still rubbing his eyes with his leathery knuckles, his eyes gummy with tears.
“What just happened?” he asked.
“I got paranoid about where we were going and ran from the sky police,” Jeb said.
“What?” Piwaki stiffened. “No. NO. Tell me you didn’t do that. I’ve been involved in a crime!ME! This was NOT my plan for my life! Gods damn you!”
Piwaki lifted a taloned fist as if to strike Jeb, but a well-placed glare stopped that shit in its tracks.
“We’ve arrived in Mestikos, You’re more than welcome to find you-“
Something tickled the back of Jeb’s throat, forcing him to his knees as it obscured more and more of his airways.
A light cough devolved into frenzied hacking as the ball of partially coagulated blood tried to strangle him.
Jeb had spots of light floating through his vision when his magical hairball was finally out of his system and sizzling its way into the dirt of the back alley. He felt a warmth his back where Piwaki was injecting Myst into it, sending a wave of warming calm through his body.
“Can-“ Jeb was interrupted by a short cough.
“I can at least settle your cough and help your throat heal itself faster.”
“Can you-“ Jeb coughed a bit more.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to leave someone in need of help right in front of me.” Piwaki said. “I’ve at least learned that lesson from my father.”
Jeb shook his head, clearing his throat.
“Can you make my dick bigger?” He asked. “Is that a thing you can do? I mean it’s already pretty decent, but I was kinda hoping for something that made women say ‘wow’, you know what I mean?”
Piwaki took his hand off Jeb’s back, and the coughing returned in force, making Jeb’s vision turn red.
“Hey, look at this!” Borg said, practically jamming a Wanted poster with Jeb’s face on it right up his nose. “You’re famous!”
Error. Recalculating Body. 52 à 50
Error. Recalculating Myst 133 à138
“Fudge.”
It sped up.
Comments
Tyler
Thoroughly enjoy your books and love the characters, but I must say the secret cabal are the best lol
Macronomicon
that is the message I wanted to Convey
0xFFF1
Well, so much for riding the nuke for free Myst stats. Now it's pretty clear that it'll eventually deteriorate his Body faster than he can possibly accumulate it.
Dee
Self care is important. I’d strongly advise telling anybody to who says otherwise to kindly eat sand.
Pastor Joubert
🐸
Gavriel
😆
Macronomicon
sorry this took most of a week. My excuse is...well, it's not great. but to sum it up: I'm a delicate flower and minor changes in my schedule unduly affect my writing if i'm not paying attenttion.
