Macronomicon
patreon
Chapter 115: Cheese Morale
🕑 Added 2025-03-03 18:17:31 +0000 UTC‘I feel I was denied....critical…NEED TO KNOW…information.’
- Caddock, to the High Saint’s Council of Granesh.
“He tested three places last night.” The scout said, gesturing. “This one was the hardest hit, and where he slipped through. Their commander was known to have thought that Damage Chains were a waste of resources and invested more heavily in warriors and support staff.”
“I guess he learned his lesson,” Caddock mused, glancing over at a corpse wearing the gold tassels of a commander.
Caddock stood in front of a line of dead men, his eye twitching as his remaining scouts walked him through exactly how such a disaster could have happened.
“So judging by the angle everyone was flung compared to where they were standing, William Oh shot them from an angle, tracing the side of the mountain from there to there, starting further away and ending closer, to cluster the hits together so there was no warning.
“How fast would he have to be moving to make that work?” Caddock asked the obvious question.
“Ummm…fast. The difference between an arrow flight from five hundred yards and one hundred is only a few seconds.”
“If he could move that fast, why didn’t he just punch through the line before they had a chance to stop him?”
“It wasn’t him that moved that fast.” The older scout said, shaking his head. “Nobody saw the Deceiver blazing across the side of the mountain throwing arrowheads at them. It was an Ability.”
Caddock remembered the cannonball that had manifested out of nothing and caught him square in the chest.
“Ah.”
The Deceiver had used his rare and valuable dimensional storage Ability for the pedestrian purpose of launching hundreds of arrowheads in a very short time. Not to say it didn’t work.
“See if you can pin down how fast the thing launching arrowheads moved.” Caddock said to his scouts. He’d wager that would describe the boy’s Dimensional Storage’s maximum speed, which would be a nice thing for the church to know.
“Sir.” The second scout nodded, thinking for a moment before sprinting off to retrieve their logistician for his math skills.
“You see how the arrowheads fell right between these men’s footprints?” The scout said, moving past the line of dead men and pointing at a glittering triangle of Blessed Steel.
“The arrowheads had just barely enough energy to clear them?” Caddock asked, but even to him that sounded wrong.
“No, they were suspended in midair. Like someone used a ring of snaring to hold the arrowhead in place, and then drew the men’s bodies forward through the arrows,” The scout made a pulling motion before pointing at the line of corpses some eight feet from where they had stood in life. “Like cheese through a wire.”
“And the accuracy?”
Most of the hits were in the eye and face region, the blessed steel arrowhead punching through helmets and bone with equal ease.
“Ring of Accuracy? A good one. At least six degrees.”
The boy doesn’t have two hands for two rings to make a soft set…It’s part of the Dimensional Storage.
According to his timeline of reports from their battle, William oh started out very fast and adding a bit of lightning damage to his attacks, then when he was wounded, he slowed down a bit and gained lifesteal. A respectable amount that allowed him to shed minor wounds easily as he fought, and an absolutely devastating Hoarfrost debuff.
Then this. Accuracy and a devastating on-hit effect.
But he never switches backwards. Never changing back to something he had previously in short order. There’s some kind of cooldown. Not to mention, according to his dossier, he should be able take one out and put it on, since he didn’t have any kit when we caught him in the smithy.
…He can’t take them out. They’re not ‘stored’, they’re bound to his Dimensional Storage, absorbed by the Ability itself.
Each item he switched to had granted William Oh a massive, noticeable stat boost that anyone would arrange their entire Build around…like one might expect from rare mutated Relics or those from the Unreachable Floors.
How did a poor orphan boy get four rare and valuable Relics?
Caddock’s eyes widened.
He doesn’t have four incredibly powerful Relics in that Ability. The Dimensional Storage is boosting them.
A six-point ring of accuracy was nearly impossible to acquire, but a three point one? Expensive, but still a consumer item.
A single item that imposed sixty percent Hoarfrost that lasted ten whole seconds? Caddock had never seen one. Thirty percent for five? Not unheard of.
That’s how he’s doing it. Caddock nodded to himself. Even completely unarmed, William Oh should be considered to be wearing the equivalent of two or more identical Relics stacking their effects…Probably scaling with Acuity since the boy seems to be focusing on it.
This meant that any synergies the boy discovered could become wildly more powerful than they had any right to be, because they would be bouncing off an item that was boosted far beyond its original scope.
Caddock found a nearby rock and sat down, staring down over the slopes of the mountain.
William Oh had cut through the inner ring, but not the outer one.
He’s going to find a way to punch through sooner or later. Trying to pen him in with level fifteens just isn’t working.
They’d caught William Oh on his worst day: Out of Charge, out of Kit, and missing a hand.
And he still managed to get through.
Caddock hadn’t missed the massive chest that the kobold had shoved through the door. The ash concentrator had just been used, the glowing remnants of purified miasmatic ash caked on the bowl.
William Oh’s kit was inside that chest, baking with concentrated Deceiver ash.
Whatever came out of that chest was going to be powerful, whether it was a true Set, or simply a synergistic soft-set.
The Prophet was going through his Trial. He would likely wait for it to bake before donning the set himself. That would be the best way to carry it.
The Prophet would be strengthened by the Relics, but William Oh? He would become unstoppable if he met up with Jason Salazar and donned his Set.
I need to get to him before William Oh. Caddock knew in his heart that William Oh’s one goal was going to be to get that set back, and if Will got a lead on Caddock, he would never catch up. Caddock needed a head-start.
Caddock acknowledged the fact that this army of level fifteens wouldn’t be able to stop him, but they might slow him down long enough so that Caddock could head him off…At the cost of many lives.
For the actual act of finishing him, I need a Party of my peers. Level fifty and up. Saints. None of these rosy-cheeked level fifteens.
The problem was, these people were rare, and entrenched in church politics, such that trying to requisition a Party of them to hunt down a single Deceiver would be met with gales of laughter.
…had he not stolen the Prophet, destroyed Laniston, and killed nearly a hundred soldiers in a matter of seconds.
I need to get moving.
“Hiro.” Caddock said, rising to his feet.
“Sir.” Hiro said, nodding.
“I’m leaving.”
“Sir?” Hiro asked, frowning.
“I want you to work together with our beancounter to build a nation here. A nation called ‘Keep William Oh Inside This Line.’”
“Umm.”
“Your role is to not allow the commanders to get any bright ideas. All they need to do is maintain the integrity of their defense. Tried and true, basic siege tactics. Staggered, flexible lines, harriers keeping his charge Low.”
“…How long?” Hiro asked.
“Until William Oh escapes or I come back and give the all-clear.”
“Yessir.”
Caddock moved to turn away before pausing and returning his gaze to Hiro.
“Your biggest challenge is going to be keeping morale strong. They’re already tired, feet hurt, wondering why their commanders are ordering them to just waste their time standing in place rather than doing anything. Not to mention that while I’m gone, a few of them are going to die every day as William Oh tests the fence. That’s going to make their attitude sour damn quick.”
“I can handle it, sir.” Hiro said.
“Cheese.” Caddock said.
“Eh?”
“There’s a town a little ways to the southeast that produces the most amazing truffle cheese you’ve ever tasted.”
“Sir?”
“The High Saint’s Council has a reserve there for their gatherings. Acquire it for the men. Should buy you a day or two of morale.”
“Understood.”
“…Maybe some hookers while you’re at it.” Caddock mused to himself.
Hiro choked on his own spit for a moment, coughing and nodding.
Caddock put a hand on Hiro’s shoulder.
“Try not to die.”
Hiro straightened. “Yessir.”
“May Granesh be with you.” Caddock said.
**William Oh**
What the Abyss? Will thought, frowning as he studied the two-story gazebos from his vantage point high on the mountain.
Over the last week, there had been a flurry of building in the line surrounding the mountain, and Will had assumed they were temporary fortifications meant to slow him down. Not that they would, but that’s what Will had assumed they were building.
Nope. It was gazebos and furniture.
There were currently hundreds of men on break sitting under the eaves, enjoying a respite from the sun, a cool breeze, and being served bread and marbled cheese by young women.
Will could smell it from here.
Smelled pretty damn good.
“You…bastards.” Will growled. Partly because he hadn’t eaten anything better than tree bark and twigs in days, but mostly because it revealed their plan.
They were getting comfortable. Settling in for the long haul. Outwaiting him.
Will could survive as long as he wanted. There was plenty of treebark and muddy rainwater to allow that. Aspect didn’t mind.
But starving him out wasn’t their goal. They were investing a lot of effort in buying time rather than trying to seize him by brute force, but it wasn’t to finish him off.
Because they knew they couldn’t.
I haven’t seen the big one since the fire.
Will’s eyes widened.
He left!
Will slapped his forehead.
Of course he left, he’s going after Jason!
Will hadn’t been able to take out any of the remaining scouts that kept attacking him because they all had Tanks behind the lines bolstering their defenses, and Tanks bolstering those Tank’s defences, and so on.
A Damage Chain. There were several variations that Will had discovered the Graneshian military like to utilize, but that was the basic gist of it.
A couple times a day they chased him through the woods until he got a few good hits in on them, then they ran away.
They’re not even trying to finish me off anymore, they’re buying time to kill Jason.
At Will’s estimation, Jason still had a week before he would leave the Class Creation Room.
The church of Granesh did not know about this delay, and may therefore move on to scour the nearest Strongholds looking for Jason after failing to find any sign of him in the Trial grounds.
…I’m not that lucky. I need to make it to the Hunting Grounds before Jason pokes his head out and gets it cut off.
But first I need to figure out a way out of here.
A nearby bird flitted from one tree to another.
…Wish I could still fly.
Without his mask and his ring, Will lacked mobility options, which meant no flying. No shortening distances, no standing on Phantom Hand and flinging himself.
Fliers were rare enough that they couldn’t assign more than one or two to each of these companies currently mocking him with their gazebos, cheese, and cute baker girls.
If he could just sail past them, he would only have to contend with four or five people on the way.
Wish I could strap myself to a cannonball and just launch myself past them.
…Why can’t I do that?
Aside from the obvious, that was. Such as the desire to not break his neck, the fact that he didn’t have any straps that could take a cannonball moving at that speed without snapping…
…not having any cannonballs.
Easily solvable problems…Will thought, looking down at the ashen section of the mountain, the ruins of the city.
There had to be one or two lumps of metal the right size and shape.
Will checked his Charge.
13/66 Charges remaining.
Thirteen charges in a week. They’ve been pushing me hard, but this should be enough.
Switching Slotted Relic from Ring of Accuracy* To Wand of the undead Retainer.
Will suppressed a shudder as the finger bearing the Ring of Accuracy popped and blackened.
Wand of the Undead Retainer
+13 focus
+3 Acuity
+33% potency of necromancer archetype Abilities.
1 charge: Heal Undead. Repairs undead tissue. Some reassembly required. Does not revive dead undead.
5 Charge: User may summon one permanent low-power Undead Retainer, to a maximum of 2.
The Undead Retainer is an intangible spirit with a limited ability to interact with the physical world, performing simple tasks for the wielder. They are sustained by the wand, not reliant on the wielder's Focus. If the wand is unequipped, the Undead Retainer is dismissed.
The Undead Retainer can be the target of Abilities requiring a living sacrifice and subject to lifedrain, as though it were alive.
13 -> 3 Charges remaining.
Billy-bob and Stevie rose from the earth as Will summoned them.
“My deepest apologies for failing to-“
“It’s fine, we figured it out,” Will said, holding up his hand. “That’s not what I need from you right now.”
The two ghost butlers stood, taking in their surroundings.
“Could you two carry me past that army out there?” Will asked, pointing
“If you still bore the Ring of Eidolon, perhaps,” Stevie said. “With your current Build, we are greatly weakened. While we can fly, we feel most comfortable flowing through the earth, and any overland travel is short hops interspersed with moments of respite in the earth. With the Ring of the Eidolon we were more comfortable maintaining our physical form in the living world and making long flights.”
“Hmm.” Will had thought as much, but it didn’t hurt to ask.
“You can still do manual labor, though, right?”
“Yessir,” Billy-bob and Stevie nodded. “We are still much stronger than a standard Undead Retainer,” Billy-bob spoke with pride.
“What do you two know about kites, and…carpentry?” Will asked, taking a bite of a thick wedge of tree bark and chewing as he studied the line of soldiers surrounding the mountain in relatively high spirits.
The two ghost butlers glanced at each other, then back at Will. “We have experience with minor home repairs…and young masters love their kites.”
“Excellent. I’m going to lead the scouts tasked with keeping me suppressed on a merry chase on this side of the mountain. Here’s what I want you to do on the other side…”
Two days later, Will was strapping himself to a log.
It had been carved into something of an arrow-shape, as light as they could manage while still maintaining strength. It was difficult with wet wood, but they made it work.
The log had kite wings jutting out the side to hopefully grant him a bit of extra range.
His ‘seat’ was leaned way back, and contoured to the shape of his body, to hopefully prevent him from snapping his neck.
Several massive trees were bent nearly to their breaking point, putting a massive amount of tension on the thick rope holding him in place.
Learned this one from Loth.
There was a metal cup fused to the nose of the arrow, its dish facing backwards, a large steel spring inside it.
Hopefully it doesn’t snap off.
Will was tilted upward, as the massive wooden arrow was resting on top of a rail made of another log.
He was basically riding a giant crossbow bolt.
“…Are you sure about this?” Stevie asked, surveying the contraption.
“No. Loose!” Will shouted.
Without a word, Billy-bob chopped the rope, and Will blacked out.
He woke up with the wind rushing past his face.
It took a fraction of a second to realize that it had mostly worked.
One of the kite wings had snapped off in the launch, and the entire arrow was spinning in a most displeasing way.
Will wiggled his foot out of the seat and kicked the other kite wing until it snapped off and whipped past him.
A moment later, the flight stabilized with Will hanging upside down, staring straight up at the Graneshian army gradually growing closer.
At the rate the nose was falling, he was going to land smack dab in the center of their lines, which was less than ideal.
Will had figured if he was already moving fast, then the cannonball would be less likely to break his neck and the contraption itself.
Will shot the spring with one of the half-melted cannonballs scavenged from the ruins of Basalt.
BANG!
The spring absorbed the shock, and the entire arrow lurched upward, tilting its nose back up as it received a massive amount of force into the system.
“SHIT!” Will cursed as the cannonball fell back out of the cup, having spent its energy on correcting the arrow’s course. The problem was that since Will was upside down, the cannonball fell towards his head, forcing him to store it again before the lump of iron smashed his headrest – and everything in it – into kindling.
Dimensional Storage.
6 -> 5 Charge remaining.
Once he turned his attention back to the front, Will could see that the cup designed to be shot with a cannon was barely hanging on by a few shreds of wood and steel.
It wouldn’t take another.
Will peered ‘up’, looking at the ground beneath him.
He was going to get past the Graneshian line at this rate, but not by much.
BOOM!
A Nuker’s blast scorched the side of the arrow as they realized what was happening, but they were already too late. He was passing them.
Will hit the back of the arrow with another lump of steel, the entire contraction leaping forward like a startled horse and dogind a follow-up shot.
Then he did it again.
The sound of splintering wood dominated Will’s hearing as the back of the arrow fell apart, the arrow beginning to lazily spin as one of the fins was damaged.
Eventually, the wooden arrow ran out of structural integrity before Will ran out of cannonballs to keep it moving, the entire thing disintegrating into a cloud of broken pieces of wood.
Will tore himself out of his seat and grabbed a fin tumbling through the air beside him, using it to catch as much air as possible as he could as the spinning forest beneath him slowly got bigger.
The landing was…a bit rough, but between the man-sized fin slowing him down, and his nearly one-hundred Resistance, Will survived.
Didn’t even pass out.
Okay, that wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had, Will thought, releasing one of the healing potions he’d stolen from the Graneshian army into his palm, tearing the cork out with his teeth before downing the bitter medicine.
His bruises faded and the pain in his ankle went away, allowing him to get up and start running.
Gotta get to Jason.
Comments
Hell 5pawn
I hope Loth already made the same conclusion and is set to get to Jason before the paladin.
Person
"entire contraction" -> entire contraption
Alvin Wang
I was thinking the butlers could provide additional lift to the kite and he would be able to fly forever.
matt
Damned shriekers.
war doggle
Depends if burning the bodies concentrated the miasma or partially dissipated it.
Ano Ano
Obviously the Ring and the Tower are connected and isolated from the natural world, but I disagree with saying the Ring is actually part of the tower. Feels like that would just be confusing. But yeah, my main confusion is that I thought they were in the ring (lands inside spaceship and outside tower) and that the sacrifice room only opens if you're in the proving grounds (floor zero of the tower). But I probably misremembered something.
Connor Kelly
I am sick as a dog, but didn't stop me from doing my best impression 🙃. But it put a big smile on my face.
Mariposa
But then he can't become a Lord.
Emily Gurnavage
Sounds like you may have forgot a key story detail. Or maybe *I* did and im reading the comment wrong. But anyway. As far as society as we know it and every sentient being we have met is concerned, "outside" of the tower is simply the bottom floor. Will has never heard of outer space. The only stars humanity knows are the same metal the group was hiding on a handful of chapters back. I forget what color the sky is, but its not blue and Will found the idea laughable and strange. I dont remember what "the tower" *looks like* in the middle of the human lands, but they think that it is the tower itself when it really is just an elevator/entrance/support column that gets you to the next floor. Not into the tower, but just the next level. Edit: oh wait you had emphasis on the door not opening on the floor they are on. That part is strange, actually. A plot hole? Or something else? Its been so long since I read the start but yea I don't think that should have worked, no? Hmm
Exrotes
Yknow I'm curious. How good of a sacrifice would the leftover Deciever Ash be. Will's hand was basically legendary when he was a level 0 nobody so what would concentrated essence be good for.
ioajfidsnmfomds77
I actually think Caddock is going to get a 'kill' and Loth will regrow William Oh in a Sourdough barrel
ioajfidsnmfomds77
Couldn't be an orc. He didn't paint it red to go faster
Nate Oppy
William oh possesses the wisdom of an ancient oracle, foreseeing events that shake reality. Yet in the same breath he would confidently fling himself off a cliff convinced the ground would rise to meet him.
Nate Oppy
William Oh displays intellect equivalent to the greatest minds in the universe and the common sense equivalent to strapping yourself to a giant crossbow bolt and punting urself into the air with no concrete plan on how to land.
Ano Ano
I must confess I'm confused about tower geography. I thought they were outside the tower, but don't you have to be inside the training grounds to get a door opening to the sacrifice room? I dunno, but now there's a race between two people to get to Jason about to happen and I don't get where the three parties are in relation to each other.
Crispined Glover Potato Snacks
I want you to wok together with our beancounter to build a nation here. A nation called ‘Keep William Oh Inside This Line. wok->work
Ethan Barrow
TFTC!! That was one heck of an escape, low on charge again but cool
Logrus
"I'maplane I'maplane I'maplane I'maplane I'maplane"
Uroš
I think that is something that Loth would probably think of. She's smart like that. Maybe go fetch the party, then move down to the trial grounds to grab Jason?
Dax
He won't be doing an establishment quest. That takes place after returning from the Trial. He's not going to be returning, but is instead making a break for it towards a stronghold on the floor his Trial takes place in.
Dax
Are we sure that Will is part Immortal Serpent, and not part Ork? because this was the most orkish shit I've heard in a good long while! xD
Andrew
Thank you!
JhanicManifold
I'm liking Caddock a lot, the story does need a lot more smart villains.
Ano Ano
That's some grade A Tears of the Kingdom engineering.
Domy
Does the deceiver have some coyote in him? Perhaps he has some investments in the Acme company?
Cyrus McEnnis
Of course then the question becomes what will happen in Jason's establishing quest if he turns up decked head to foot in a "legendary" set _without_ support from Will's party. At that point it would very much be worth the high-levellers time to try and take it from him.
Tom C
Kinda hoping that Loth has already thought ahead, and made moves to get to Jason. Caddock and the Graneshians have a blind spot regarding Loth. So they will only be thinking of Will and him reaching J TFTC!
axel jensen
Caddok seems like he's a very competent leader given everything but competent commanders, And the church is going to die because of it
Jacob Goodrich
I can't wait to see how Caddock loses his freaking mind about his escape
Cyrus McEnnis
Huh. One possible way to catch up with Jason although I've got 0 idea if it's practical or not - the establishing quest(s). We know Jason has to be under Level 5 and not in a party - the question is how does a higher level Climber get placed to be the mentor? I know Will's escaped the encirclement already so it's not strictly speaking necessary, but if he or Loth need a way get Jason out of Dodge or retrieve the set early that'd be one way to do it.
Jacob Goodrich
Oh man I didn't catch that until you said that. Now I'm gonna have to go watch the movies again.
Jarkko Kotaniemi
Absolutely insane escape plans. I love it!
Jacob
Oh Burt. Been a while since I thought of that scene in Tremors 2.
