Macronomicon
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Chapter 135: Guy’s Night
🕑 Added 2025-04-21 17:16:17 +0000 UTC“Okay so right there is where Akresh says the Raid Boss is.” Loth said, pointing out a spot near dead center on the map.
Will frowned, studying the X in the middle of a lake below a waterfall.
“This hasn’t been discovered in a thousand years?” Will asked. it was in the center of the map, partly between the Wyrd Stronghold and all the Key Sites.
“I’m sure it has, but it’s likely rare.” Loth said, pulling out a pen and laying it between the Stronghold and key site, drawing a straight line between the two.
It bypassed the lake.
For illustration, Loth laid the pen between all the other sites. None of them crossed the lake.
“Climbers don’t just…wander around aimlessly if they can help it.” Will said, nodding.
“Not the ones who have survived this far. Most people are headed directly to a Stronghold to rest, or directly to a key site to change Floors. Most grinding is done within a few hours walk of the Stronghold.” Loth said.
Unconsciously, Will’s eyes traced the edges of the map.
If there’s something hiding at the center of the map, how many more things have never been discovered along the edges? Will wondered.
“Now as for how we can fit this in to the Caravan’s schedule,” Loth said, “The walk there will take roughly three days, so we may have to arrange for temporary protection for the Caravan while we deal with the Raid Boss.
“Three days?” Will asked with a frown. “I’ll get us there in ten minutes.”
Loth paused, twirling the pen in her hand. “I forget you’re actually becoming a Lord sometimes.”
“It would be irresponsible to leave them entirely undefended while we’re gone, though,” Will said, prompting Loth to nod.
“I don’t want to leave Arkesh here with the Caravan. Not even for twenty minutes.” Loth said.
“I totally agree,” Will said. The old snake had promised not to harm the six of them that had met him outside the caravan, but that promise didn’t extend to anyone outside of those six, nor was a promise some unbreakable thing they should be riding their whole future on.
“Drop him on the Wyrd Stronghold?” Loth asked, getting a chuckle out of Will.
As amusing as the idea of Arkesh the Mind-Conqueror suddenly appearing in the middle of the Stronghold was, that was pretty much cold-blooded murder of hundreds of civilians.
Which I still want to avoid, Will thought. There were still lines he hadn’t crossed yet.
“Honestly I can’t think of anything better than just throw him a few miles out and hope he doesn’t find his way back.” Will said
“That’s a terrible idea.” Loth said.
“I know.”
“We could just kill him?” Loth suggested.
“Feels wrong.” Will said. “Even with him wanting to die, and it being a vacation from life for him…Still feels wrong.”
Will glanced up at the tent’s door. “Abyss, let’s just ask him.” he said, hopping to his feet and striding out into the caravan, where Arkesh was still chatting with Reese.
“Hey, Arkesh the Mind-Conquerer,” Will said. “You are a wonderful guest, but we are going to arrive at the Wyrd Stronghold soon, and you present a diplomatic risk if your identity is discovered.”
Will modified the reason for kicking the snake out of the caravan to shift blame onto Mark Wyrd, so as not to offend the giant snake.
Will began rolling up his sleeves.
“So do you want me to kill you now, or…?”
“No!” Arkesh said, holding up a hand. “I’ve lived through nearly a dozen Coils, but I’ve never met you…or the person filling your role before, I suppose. I’ve missed the drama of the end of the Coil every time. Usually I was just sunning myself out in the middle of the jungle, and the System Announcement hit everyone at once.
“I never…witnessed it happening. Please…This is the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in six thousand years.”
Arkesh gave Will big, watery eyes.
“…Fine. Trim your beard, take a bath, wear clothes, and find somewhere else to be for the next week, and you can follow us up.” Will said.
Arkesh moved to hug Will, who stopped him with a hand on his chest.
“Trim your beard, take a bath, wear clothes, and then you get a hug.”
“Right away!” Arkesh said, turning away, before pausing and turning back to Will. “…What’s a bath?”
“Not it.” Loth said, turning and leaving the situation at the exact right time.
“Damnit.” Will grumbled under his breath.
Will would really rather be doing anything other than teaching a smelly old man how to bathe and dress himself, but Arkesh was simply too smelly and too dangerous to foist that duty off on any of the civilians or Anna.
Will could easily imagine Arkesh accidentally squishing someone because he was ticklish.
Will heaved a long sigh. “let’s get this over with.”
The next hour was a memory that Will wished he could forget, but at least the old man was a quick study, so Will would never have to repeat the process.
All told, once they were done, Arkesh was dressed in a fine shirt, shoes, and slacks, his white beard trimmed close to his face.
“Wow, my skin and face actually feel much better.” Arkesh mused, idly straightening his shirt.
“That’s why we do it.” Will said. “Now find us again after the caravan is over fifteen miles out from the Wyrd Stronghold, understood? If you show up before we’re outside that range, I’ll assume it’s because you changed your mind about wanting to die.”
“Very well, great uncle.” Arkesh said, nodding deeply.
“Don’t call me uncle,” Will said. “It’s weird.”
“You’re the son of my father’s uncle, so-“
“Just call me Will,” Will said. “…You still want that hug?”
“No…the moment’s passed.” Arkesh said, looking up at Will from his clothes. “Don’t get ambushed and die before I get a chance to find you again. Humans are always getting betrayed and dying and then not coming back with their memories intact.”
Arkesh tapped his chin in thought. “I’m fairly certain you take after your mother in that regard.”
Will frowned. “…Yeah. Probably. I’ve never tried it…Dying, that is.”
“Well be careful. I hear the lord of this Stronghold is a real bastard.”
“Mark or Frederick?” Will asked.
“Heath Wainwright.”
Will frowned.
“How long ago was that?”
“Ummm…I want to say…four hundred years.”
“…Well, okay then,” Will said, clapping Arkesh on the shoulder. “I’ll see you in a week or so.”
Arkesh nodded.
“I look forward to committing your story to memory. Perhaps I’ll even pass it on to your successor after you die.”
“Lovely,” Will said, gesturing the ancient snake towards the jungle.
In a matter of minutes, Arkesh was gone, and Will made another pass with his Memory Key to make sure the snake wasn’t trying to pull one over on him.
It seemed like the old snake stuck to his word.
…That was good.
After Will was sure the snake was gone, he gathered up his Party.
“Alright, Loth got a map to a raid boss from Arkesh. I’m going to pick some people to come with me to kill it.”
“Ooh, ooh, pick me!” Jason said, raising his hand.
“And some people to stay here and guard the caravan.”
Jason lowered his hand.
“What’s the raid boss?” Travis asked, arms tucked around his knees.
“It’s a metallic slime.” Loth said. “It’s an unusual case that spawned in a higher floor and found its way down to this Floor. Very resistant to physical damage, can make weapons out of its own body. According to Arkesh, it found a place it liked in this lake eight hundred years ago and just…stayed there, getting more and more dangerous, picking off any Climbers unlucky enough to come across it.”
“Okay, if physical damage doesn’t bother it, we’ll leave June, and since it’s a slime without have any squishy weakpoints, we can leave Alicia.” Will said.
“Fine by me.” June said with a shrug. Alicia nodded.
“Mason, you want to come with?” Will asked, turning his attention to the skinny Nuker. Mason’s ability to modify his damage type would probably come in handy against something with a strange anatomy like a metallic slime.
“Damn right I do,” Mason said with a nod.
“I’ll come!” Jason said.
Will glanced at Reggie.
“…I’ll keep him alive,” Reggie sighed.
“Hey!” Jason said, frowning at Reggie.
“So that’s Me, Mason, Jason, and Reggie,” Will Mused. It wasn’t a bad team, all things considered.
“Why do I need a babysitter?” Jason asked.
“Your class might be super tough, but you don’t have any good Abilities specifically for defence or mobility, do you?”
“Why does that matter?” Jason asked.
“Because from this floor onward, some of the monsters are going to be able to put you in checkmate before you can blink.” Will said.
Loth picked up the slack, sitting down beside Jason.
“A metallic slime forms a needle-like protrusion in a fraction of a second that it thrusts into your body” Loth said, poking Jason in the side with a claw. “But it doesn’t stop there. It likes blood because of the iron, so it injects a portion of itself inside you, following every major vein in your body, rupturing them from the inside out as it greedily feeds on your blood.”
Loth traced her fingernail up to Jason’s neck. “It’s the most agonizing pain you can imagine, your body being ripped apart from the inside out. Finally, it reaches your brain, and you experience a strange sense of disconnect as the individual parts of your mind are uncoupled from each other, experiencing an odd, disjointed confusion as everything fades to black.”
Loth gave the frozen prophet a sharp-toothed grin.
The whole party stared at Loth in silence, especially the pale Jason.
“There’s iron in blood!?” Will broke the silence.
Loth turned back to Will.
“Hemoglobin. Noun. A red protein responsible for transporting oxygen in the blood of vertebrates. Its molecule comprises four subunits, each containing an iron atom bound to a heme group. It’s amazing how much you can learn just by reading a dictionary.”
“Noted.” Will said with a shrug before turning his attention back to the horrified Jason. “Anyway Without an Ability that can let you dodge, or absorb…that, it’s best to bring a Tank for you.”
“Okay.” Jason whispered, hugging his knees.
“Travis, Stay or go?” Will asked.
“You’re giving me a choice?” Travis asked.
“I think you’d be equally useful here or there.”
“I’ll take the levels, obviously.” Travis said, nodding.
“Loth?” Will asked.
“I’ll stay. My current selection of insects won’t be able to damage it in any meaningful way...Not to mention…” Her eyes slid to the barrel where her Cuirass of the Cruel Tyrant was baking.
“Without my best damage soak, it would be too dangerous.”
“Alright, so me, Mason, Jason, Travis and Reggie.” Will said, ticking them off with his fingers. Skirmisher, Nuker, Buffer, Decoy, and Tank. Not a bad selection, and
“Hey! It’s a guy’s night out!” Reggie said, clapping Jason on the shoulder.
“…This is going to go horribly.” June said, poking the fire with a stick.
Loth nodded.
“True…” Alicia whispered.
“...And we’re taking a few Rias with us,” Will added, pointing at Ria.
Ria blinked, frowning.
“But I thought it was resistant to physical damage?” Mason asked.
“Ria’s coming along to establish a line of communication between us and the caravan in case of an emergency.” Will said.
There was also an unspoken understanding that if things went really bad, they could leave her behind and run, like a lizard abandoning its tail. It was unpleasant, but a serious consideration.
“Whew, dodged a calamity there,” June said.
“Aw man…guy’s night out…” Reggie moped.
“You could take me with you instead,” Bee said as she arrived beside Ria.
I forgot about Bee. Will had kind of written her off as a useful member of the Party.
“Why you?” Will asked, glancing up at her. Ria must’ve contacted Bee, or perhaps it had been the other way around.
“Ria doesn’t enjoy danger for danger’s sake.” Bee said, looping one of her arms around her ‘sister’s shoulders. “Me? I can’t get enough of it. You’ll get all the benefits of having Ria there,”
“and…” Bee said, her body growing larger, voice deepening as she took the form of the young man she’d tried to trick Will with on the Fifth Floor. “We can still have a guy’s night out.”
Bee waggled ‘his’ eyebrows.
Mason looked shocked, but Reggie took it in stride.
“Whoo! Guy’s night is back on!” Reggie shouted.
“Somebody’s gonna get hurt,” June said, putting one of Loth’s meat-bugs on a spit and sprinkling some salt over it.
Alicia nodded.
Will had to make a decision.
Bee was significantly more unstable than the other two fragments of Brianna’s personality. Chaotic and prone to impulse.
She was objectively a worse choice than Ria.
But Bee had offered to help. Spurning her help here was a good way to make her bitter and more reluctant to help in the future, and might delay Brianna’s recovery. If they could improve her attitude and find something Bee excelled at…that benefited everyone.
“Tell Jean you’re coming with us and make two extra copies, and you can come.” Will’s reasoning was that Jean was well aware of Bee’s foibles, and would monitor the situation from her end. if something went bad, she would know about it without Bee needing to be particularly responsible with her communication duties.
“WHOOO!” Bee joined Reggie’s chanting.
“Guy’s night! Guy’s night! Guy’s night!”
I hope I didn’t just mess up really really bad, Will thought. Unfortunately there was no crystal ball that could see the future. At least none that I’ve heard of.
“You guys realize we’ll be heading out tomorrow morning, not at night, right?” Will asked. “A couple hours during the afternoon, tops then right back. There will be no ‘guy’s night’.”
Bee blew a raspberry. “Not with that attitude.”
Comments
Joshua Little
Thanks for the chapter.
Teagan Symons
I’m just thinking about how cool the metallic slime would be as a sacrifice for most characters builds.
Nicolas Symeou
Humans survived, so presumably did some books. It's a bit hand wavy, but plausible.
Evgeny Münch
So after last coil the civilisation is at medieval level. How does loth have such good knowledge about everything. And telling "I read that in an dictionary" doesn't look convincing to me. Is loth an issekaied? Cause I can't explain to myself where loth gets to read so much books ... Pls explain
Ethan Barrow
TFTC!! This story is fantastic. Psychic damage is gonna probably do wonders this fight
Hell 5pawn
Love this story.
Imp
Everyone: Loth, that's horrifying! Will: I don't know, iron blood sounds pretty cool to me... Everyone: *horrified stares at Will now for not being horrified*
Andrew
Thank you!
Quex
Like the oddball cast of characters we are collecting. I half expect Akresh to show up in 50 years to the meetup spot wondering why Will was taking so long then assuming he must have died after all
Emily Gurnavage
So how many nights will they be trapped deep in the jungle for? Lmao.
ReadingObsessed
Blood has iron?? 😂 Lightning can come from the sky?!
Mundane
Will becoming famous in the snake family for introducing the concept of bathing.
Macronomicon
a comma, or an 'and', it appears.
Daemion
Man, I love every single character in this story. Especially the funny ones. ^^
Crispined Glover Potato Snacks
"If they could improve her attitude find something Bee excelled at…that benefited everyone."-> is there a word missing between "attitude" and "find"?
Thomas
One content edit is how would Will know crystal balls might be able to see the future? Have there been crystal ball scrying spells or abilities offered to him or any of his companions in the story so far?
SunderGoldmane
Woo hoo vocabularly lessons!!!
Opportunity Drive
Woo hoo! Metallic Slimes!!! Hahaha love it
Macronomicon
Man, this one needed a lot of edits. i was cruising.
