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Chapter 242: The Proposal
🕑 Added 2024-01-16 17:49:11 +0000 UTC***Author's Note****
Sorry about the delay, I pumped the breaks to give myself some time to get my bearings going into book 4. I've been brainstorming where we can go with the next book, and especially HOW, because you have to use a light-speed antagonist VERY sparingly.
So far I've got 2 ass-pulls planned. We'll see how many we get by the end, lol. Mostly we want to gradually increase tension, Tarantino style, so that the number of immersion-breaking deus ex machina we insert are fewer.
Enjoy!
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Perry took the turn a little too hard and spun out while Sera swept past him, giggling wildly.
“You suck, daddy!”
“Really? Trash talk?” Perry asked, righting his Mariocart and zooming up behind Sera. “Is that from Grampa again?”
Perry was the sacrificial ‘bad player’. Since he was inhumanly talented at pretty much everything, it was no fun to play against him competitively, nor was it fun for him to constantly win…but he was good enough to convincingly fake a loss. So he spent his time giving the wobbling youngster some proper competition as she swerved wildly from side to side down the easiest track in the game.
Focus on your family. Good advice dad.
Nat and Heather had their own thing going on, constantly lapping the two of them on their motorcycles, their faces masks of pure concentration as they attempted to eke out a tiny fraction of a second and secure the lead over the other.
Gareth watched the screen in rapt fascination, an unused tablet with a children’s CAD program clutched between his hands. His latest addiction, something Sera couldn’t just knock over, because it created multiple redundant backups.
As the race progressed, Sera got into it and gradually tiptoed closer and closer to the TV to better see her quarter of the screen, blocking everyone else’s view.
“Sera, we can’t see through you, sweetie,” Perry murmured, tapping her on the shoulder.
She stepped back, but a few minutes later, the fiery little girl was tiptoeing forward again.
“Sera, you’re not a window, we can’t see through you, so sit your butt down on the couch!” Heather said, guiding Sera to the couch and plopping her down.
This gave Nat an extra fraction of a second to take the lead and secure first place, sliding into the finish line an instant before Heather.
“Whoo!” Nat hollered, standing and picking up Gareth before throwing him up in celebration, causing the quiet boy’s eyes to go wide for an instant before he started giggling along with his mom.
“I kicked your butt, daddy,” Sera preened, choosing to ignore the fact that her mothers had lapped them both at least a dozen times.
“I suppose you did,” Perry said, tousling her hair.
He glanced up at Nat spinning Gareth around and Heather groaning with faux outrage at placing second at her favorite game. It was a perfect moment. Everyone was having fun in their own way, nobody was crying, or mad. Nothing was hanging over them, no supervillains, no Tide. Chicago was a well-oiled machine, Tyrannus had gone quiet –in a good way– ever since he’d received his Elysian Attendant.
Perry, Heather and Natalie were just enjoying their time with their children.
Nothing could ruin it.
“Hey, you guys wanna get married?” He blurted as they started the next game.
Well, almost nothing. Perry groused inwardly.
“Sure, dude.” Heather said, not looking away from the screen.
“Yeah, I’m in.” Nat said as her motorcycle took an early lead.
“Ok, cool,” Perry said, sighing in relief.
“What’s ‘Mawied’?” Gareth asked, struggling to form the word.
“Basically exactly the same thing as right now except you have a party and a cake and there’s some paperwork involved,” Perry said with a shrug as he began driving behind Sera.
“Oh.” Gareth glanced back down at his tablet and began building a tower. The game was meant to teach children about physics and Gareth had already discovered struts and arches.
“I get to pick the cake!” Sera shrieked, tossing down her controller and grabbing Nat’s arm. “funfetti!”
The sudden change in driving caused Perry to slam into her, sending them both off the track.
“So a party and a cake every day?” Gareth asked.
“No, just the one.” Nat replied.
“So, there’s a party and a cake, and then nothing happens?” Gareth asked.
“Funfetti!” Sera shouted.
“Pretty much,” Heather said.
“Sounds dumb.” Gareth said,
“So I guess you don’t want Minecraft at your birthday party next month?” Perry asked. “Because parties are dumb?”
“I didn’t say that!” Gareth denied.
“Funfetti!” Sera shouted, jumping up and down on her toes while tugging on their clothes.
“And just like that, you ruined the moment,” Heather said, giving Perry a scowl.
“I know, I know!” Perry said, throwing up his hands in surrender while Nat giggled.
Even with all that, it was still a perfect moment.
Dad didn’t see it that way later that night when Perry was explaining why he needed to visit them in Chicago.
I can’t believe you just said it during a video game. I proposed to your mother-“
“While he was loopy on morphine! First time we met!” Mom’s voice came over the line from a distance.
“Really?” Dad asked. “I don’t remember that.”
“You were on morphine.”
“That would do it.”
“What’s this about proposing?” Mom seemed to gravitate towards the phone. “Did Perry propose? Is my baby getting married!?”
“Yeah, me and Heather are marrying Nat.” Perry said. “I proposed earlier and-“
“During a video game?” Mom asked.
“Not you too,” Perry groaned. “You literally just said dad proposed on morphine.”
“Yeah, but that was after an epic fight against prawn. Lots of adrenaline. Very romantic.” Mom said.
“Adrenaline makes you make bad choices. Dad being a case in point.”
“Hey!” Dad cried. “You literally just called your entire existence a mistake.”
“I’ll take you down with me if I have to,” Perry said with a chuckle.
“Anyway, the three of us are getting married and you guys are invited.”
“Is polygamy a thing you can do in Chicago? Because I might– OW!” Dad yelped as the sound of electricity filled the phone for a moment. “…I have no opinion on that.”
“Dad, I literally own the city. I can pretty much do whatever I want, and this is pretty low on the spectrum of weird.”
“Fair ‘nuff. When’s it gonna be?”
“We’re thinking a couple months after the twin’s birthday party to clear the schedule. End of May work for you?”
“Of course.”
“Now we want to keep this small, so-“
“I’m inviting all my friends! I’ll see you guys then!” Dad hung up.
“Damnit,” Perry muttered.
“How’d they take it?” Heather asked a little too casually, leaning against the nearby wall.
She’d kind of adopted mom and dad over the last few years, so their opinion meant more to her than she was willing to show to Perry.
“A little too well, honestly,” Perry said, setting the phone down as Heather’s body relaxed and she let out a tiny sigh. “I think our chances of having a small reception just went out the window.”
“How bad?” Natalie asked with a wince.
“You remember the pool party?” Perry asked.
Nat sucked in a breath through her teeth.
“Worse.” Perry said.
“Oh dang.” Heather said.
“Yeah, we’re gonna need to think about crowd logistics and security.” Perry muttered, stroking his chin. “Lots of security.”
“So are you gonna be the one doing the thinking, Mr. seven thousand IQ?” Heather asked.
“I.Q. doesn’t increase linearly, so it’s closer to-“
“NERD!” Heather threw a pillow at him.
“BIMBO!” Perry caught the pillow in midair and threw it back, but Heather warped around it and began skittering across the ceiling. Perry would’ve got her even then, but she started phasing through the walls, which was patently unfair given their choice of munition.
Unless I could build some kind of Phase-shifting pillow with Heather-seeking properties,Perry thought idly between tosses.
Nat rolled her eyes and put on her pajamas, slipping into bed as Heather and Perry devolved into squabbling children.
At least they saved it until their children weren’t around to imitate their bullshit.
Perry did miss acting immature sometimes, but it was a small sacrifice.
When they were all in bed, Perry wound up staring at the ceiling, his body not quite ready to sleep yet, not with all the things that had happened in one day. Plans and possibilities whirred through his mind at lightning quick speed.
“Can you believe everything that’s happened to us?” Nat whispered over Heather’s snoring.
“Sometimes I check to make sure I’m not mind-controlled by man-eating spiders.”
Nat laughed and wriggled closer to kiss him on the cheek. “You make me happy too.”
Not entirely joking, Perry thought, checking himself for spidery thoughts out of habit.
“How would you feel about living forty-three thousand years?” Perry asked.
“As long as it was the five of us,” Natalie said, her eyes drifting closed.
“Nah, those brats aren’t invited,” Perry said. “You start handing immortality out willy-nilly, and it goes south fast. Let them get their own immortality. It builds character.”
Nat’s eyes didn’t open, but he felt a pinch on his side.
“Ow.”
The next three months were a flurry of planning and counter-planning. There were no less than sixteen credible threats, ranging from a simple bombing, to weaponized fleas on trained guinea pigs.
Perry was amazed that he’d managed to make so many ‘friends’ in the super community, but according to Dad it was just par for the course. The higher you get, the more people wanna take you down, just to say they did.
It lessened a bit when you were an older, household name. Once you cemented the image that you were unassailable, the number of weirdos gunning for you dropped off.
A little.
In any case, it was Perry’s debut in Manitian society all over again…Except the guest list dwarfed it entirely.
Gramma invited all of her ‘friends’ and mom and dad invited all of theirs, and Tyrannus caught word and decided to attend with his own people as an excuse to recruit some talented young supers away from Franklin city.
Of course, he was bringing his entourage.
Chemestro was invited, but his plus one wound up being something closer to plus one-hundred.
He had a lot of brothers and sisters.
All of that Perry could handle until the Roleplayers gave him word they were visiting.
Probably.
Perry was still seeing things, and they didn’t bother him as much as they first did when he hit level 18, but sometimes he couldn’t tell if what he was seeing was real or couldbe real, or just deformed spirits, or something travelling through dimensions.
Someone once described it as ‘stanky old wizard eyes.’
In any case, it looked like Mars, Jocelyn, Clank, and…Gerome were moving through the dimensions around his own, towards the end of May.
Fuckin’ Gerome at my wedding? Better not be.
The godlike entity had caused some serious problems when he’d treated Franklin City like a D&D board, and only left when Gramma used a piece of him to punch himself in the soul-dick. Or whatever the equivalent was.
On a hunch, Perry called Barrel of Monkeys and invited him and the Character Sheets to his wedding.
Not sure if this is a self-fulfilling prophecy or not, but if they come back I want them where I can see them. Perry was pretty confident he could give Gerome a muchharder time than he could years ago.
Omnipotent 4-D being or not.
The ‘Character sheets’ were living, breathing humans that had been created from scratch by those godlike beings and had powers roughly equivalent to twelfth level D&D characters. They’d been adventuring and being do-gooders the last couple years. Generally not harmful, but Barrel of Monkeys and Gramma kept a close eye on them because they could be possessed by the beings any time they wanted to ‘play D&D again’.
Thinking about Barrel of Monkeys got Perry thinking about Tung-Stan, and Locust, and all of Titan’s former team.
Nat’s former team actually.
Perry invited them all.
Locust stayed in Franklin, along with most of the Anchors. Somebody needed to hold down the fort, and Locust’s ability to duplicate herself made her excellent at filling in for someone, as well as organize a massive city.
Perry reviewed the guest list, his thumb whipping up the screen as he scrolled down.
Scroll….
Scroll…
“Okay, we’re going to need some kind of stadium, or…” Perry muttered to himself.
That I can handle.
Once he had a rough guest list, Perry knew approximately how big the reception grounds would be.
The answer: Big.
Perry designed a building capable of holding supers of every known shape, size and powerset, then cleared an abandoned office building and replaced it with his design in a matter of hours.
Rather than put everyone on a flat plane, Perry designed the building to have several stories for different purposes.
One floor for people to gorge themselves on the buffet, one floor to pass out drunk, several floors to mingle, one floor for the awkward nerds to play video games shoulder-to-shoulder rather than actually look at each other.
That sort of thing.
The different floors were made of clear glass so you could spot people above and below you and go say hi. Three dimensions made the party feel more dynamic.
When Nat pointed out that dresses would probably be worn, Perry reluctantly frosted the glass floors so the guests would only get a vague impression of how many people were above and below them.
Then he scrapped that and simply added an AI censoring feature to the glass instead of frosting it.
Way easier.
There were oversized escalators that seamlessly wound around each other in a double helix, one taking people up, one taking them down. They were big enough for two full grown dragons to ride side by side for obvious reasons. Each floor was clearly labeled, and each stop blinked with a corresponding color/word combination.
Even then, people would still get lost.
Hopefully even the people who got lost still had a good time. Plus the glass floors would help find who you were looking for.
Assuming you could see that far.
Once Perry had the place looking pretty, that was when he started adding the death-tra- Errr…security measures.
***Natalie***
“You think we should stop him?” Heather asked as Perry chuckled evilly, hunched over his computer.
“He’s having fun,” Nat said, waving her off.
Comments
Nicholas Grey
Was wondering that too - a chapter was released on RR yesterday, but no chapter unlocked here.
Tastermind
Where’s 241? Was it skipped for some reason or did you forget to release it for the lowest Patreon tier?
mhaj58
Perry should have used Probability dodge to experience a multitude of different proposal scenarios. Serious missed opportunity
Pierre laplant
Woo, non euclidean marriage venue
Robert Nolan
You know what this wedding needs... An obscure character from earlier in the series showing up to object and passionately confess his eternal love for one of the brides/ challenge Perry to a duel over them. I'm betting on the glittterbomb guy.
